{Handplates chapter reference: Third stage}

"Entry Number XXX:

I keep asking myself what a human would do in this situation.
What would a human do to try and protect someone they loved?
To find an answer? To find freedom?
They don't believe in limitations."

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"Entry Number XXX:

I do not believe in fate. There is only a lack of options."

Gaster spent his time with Asgore. It was not only because Asgore was still suffering greatly from his choices but Gaster found comfort and closure at his side, even if he did not dare to admit it.

Asgore laid there on the couch, bottles of alcohol sprawled out around them and Gaster sat at the edge of the cushions, watching him sleep.

Asgore had a pained expression on his face as he breathed unevenly in his drunken slumber.
The silence felt thick and heavy, both of them carrying their burdens without saying a word.

Both of them have lost what was dearest to them.

Asgore lost his children, his wife... and Gaster lost the love of his life.
The only one who understood him. The one who always knew what was going on inside of his head without him having to say a single word.

As much as Gaster wanted to be there for Asgore, he felt like there was something he could do instead to ease his suffering.

He would not let life take control over them.

He would not let these setbacks affect the rest of their lives.

Gaster knew he would have to act soon if he wanted to turn anyone's life, and especially Asgore's life, around.

He would do anything to make this happen.

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"Entry Number XXX:

Drawing up a list of the requirements for this experiment, I find that I am not only the ideal candidate, but the only candidate.

Only I can do this.

Even if I had a willing assistant to allow me to use their soul, only a powerful one will be able to withstand the procedure.

And even then, survival is not 100% certain.

I am the only one left with a strong enough soul that is an option.

It must be me.

Even my physical body is uniquely suited to donate material to this cause.

There will be an emotional cost as well, of course. And even in that regard, I am best suited.

When a hypothesis is proven incorrect, one must take the new data and construct a new hypothesis based on new evidence.
This applies to all things, even concept of the self.

Events have proven that I am selfish, cold, and incapable of true emotional connection with any living being.

Given previous data, it is not unreasonable to assume that I have not achieved the limits of my own capacity for cruelty.

My level of violence prevents me from feeling anything for anyone, and makes me uniquely suited to what this experiment would require."

Gaster had thought a lot about this as he wrote his new entry. He wasn't quite sure why he wrote it the way he did.
Maybe to justify his actions.
Maybe to make himself believe that it is all dependent on him and he is the only one who can carry this burden.

But he was too far gone already to really turn back now.

Gaster's mind was made up.

He thought about all the suffering that those closest to him had gone through.

He stood by and watched as Asgore claimed the second human soul. He remembers the way Asgore stared down at the floor, regret and sorrow in his gaze as he carried the soul away.

It was painful to see him go through this.

Gaster knew he could not keep this up and he also definitely wanted Asgore to lose himself.

Gaster sat in the darkness of his room, hugging himself tightly for a moment as his eyes scanned the words he had written. His fingers dug into his lab coat as he tried to assure himself, his shoulders slumped down slightly. He slowly loosened up a little and sat his fingers back down on the keyboard:

"Logically, I am the only one who can do this, and the best suited to do this.

It may cost me my life,

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But I never earned it in the first place."