{Handplates chapter references: Soul talking, "grey comic" (featured in the a/n of the chapter "soul talking"), I plead the fifth}

"there's no point in saying i hate this, right?"

"No, not really."

"i hate this."

"Thanks for your input."

1-S was turned to Gaster as he opened the small ribbon on the back of the skeleton's robe.

"got a reason for whatever you're doin this time, or are you just bored and got nothin better to do? hey, maybe you can saw my head off too so me and my bro can have matching scars, that'd be interesting for you right?"

Gaster held 1-S's hand as he helped him onto the platform and got a steady stance.

"mind sharing em for once?", asked 1-S as Gaster walked towards the terminal.

"or are you gonna go "you wouldn't understand" for the eightieth time?"

"You wouldn't understand. Not completely."

"eighty one!"

Gaster pushed a button, and the glass tube lowered down on 1-S, enclosing him fully and filling itself with the magic blue substance.
It was necessary to keep him stable while Gaster did his ministrations on him.

Gaster's magic hands entered the glass cylinder, attaching nodes to Subject 1 and preparing the work on him.

"if we reach a hundred, do i get a prize?", asked 1-S sarcastically, a cocky smile on his face. His voice sounded somewhat muffled in that tube and the air bubbles in the liquid swirled around him as he released his breath from his mouth.

Gaster just silently looked at him, then he sighed. 1-S moved closer to the glass, pressing his palms against the cold surface as he eyed Gaster.

"...I don't know why I indulge either of you. It's of no use to me in the long run. It's probably detrimental, honestly..."

Gaster's defenses were up. He really did not want to overshare with these...beings.

But at the same time, he desperately longed for it.
Usually he would come to you, tell you about his worries. Let you soothe him and calm his worries but...even if you were alive, he would be alone in this.

Would he have even gone so far if you were here..? Probably not.

Maybe at some point in his life, he could have accepted being forever trapped down here with you.

Maybe the two of you could have found a solution and Asgore would have been able to revoke his word as King.

It was quite the wishful thinking..

"hey what are we gonna do even if you do tell us, huh? nothin. you got all the power here. so why not?", 1-S's eyes were dark as he said those words, his voice sounding somewhat pained as he stated this undeniable truth. He hated it more than anything that he was so powerless but maybe...at least, if Gaster explained somewhat what all this would be for.

Maybe he could find some closure..?

He could never forgive Gaster for all the trauma and pain he had caused but maybe, if he eventually died or fulfilled this purpose that has been given to him, he can say that he has finally made it.

That he no longer has to suffer.

That he is maybe, even if it is in death, free.

"...do you remember what I've told you about SOULS?"

1-S recalled the time where he taught them. It was before everything went so horribly wrong and Gaster still at least somewhat was kind to them. Treated them like they were at least more than just...things:

"WHAT'S THAT GLOWY THING IN HIS CHEST?", asked 2-P and stared at 1-S's soul that was glowing evenly in his ribcage.

1-S sat between Gaster's legs as he attempted to put on his green robe, a hand on 1-S's shoulder to keep him in place.

"That's his soul. Most monsters don't have visible souls, but skeletons do. Our ribcages offer them some protection."

2-P stared at the flowy heart in awe, his eyes big and sparkly as he reached out for his brother's ribcage.

Gaster reacted and gently smacked his hand away: "No. Don't touch someone's soul, it's rude. No touching."

2-P pulled his hand away again, tilting his head in curiosity: "WHAT'S A SOUL?"

"It's the culmination of your being."

"WHAT'S-" Gaster sighs, that was too complex for such a small soul to understand: "It's what makes you corporeal."

"WHAT-" Gaster sighed again, another difficult word that 2-P could not understand: "It's what keeps your bones together."

He did quite enjoy teaching them something new but sometimes he forgot that he was literally talking to chil- not fully developed beings.

"OH. WHY DOES MINE LOOK BIGGER?"

Gaster picked up 1-S as he finished putting on his robe and sat him down next to 2-P.

"Your body is bigger, so your soul is bigger to sustain you. Your souls are unique but the basic principle should still hold."

"UNIQUE?"

"does that mean your soul is different than ours?", 1-S joined in, staring up at Gaster in awe.

Yes, they were...so special. A mix of himself and you. Giving a piece of each other, he created these two miracles.

Gaster was quite proud and he did feel a certain warmth whenever he thought of it.
Even though it also reminded him of what he sacrificed.

What he lost..

"Outwardly they appear much the same but they are different, yes."

"can we see?"

"YEAH CAN WE SEE?"

Gaster thought for a moment before reaching for the buttons on his blouse and unbuttoning the two top ones.

He slowly pulled away the fabric, exposing his chest. His soul was shining brightly through his ribcage.

Both skeletons leaned in, looking at it closely: "WOW IT DOES LOOK LIKE OURS! BUT.."

"woah.

...

your heart's so big."

That sentence, it made him shudder. No, his heart was not big.

Not anymore. Not when they know what he was going to do to them..

His face dropped as he thought about all the pain he would bring. How he would ruin everything, including himself...his life.

You told him so many times how pure and beautiful his heart is but...he had to taint it.

For the greater good.
For everyone he cared about.

He buttoned up his blouse again, getting up from the ground: "...That's enough talk about souls."

"BUT-" His heart ached as he walked away, trying to ignore the pain in his chest: "No more questions."

~🤍~

1-S recalled exactly that moment as he continued to stare at Gaster through the glass, repeating what he had told them back then: "they're the culmination of our beings, or something."

"Yes. That applies both to humans and to monsters... and to you. The two of you are unique...there's never been anything like you before, and there will never be anything like you again, most likely."

1-S's gaze saddened: "...we're things, you said."

Gaster nodded: "Yes. You are constructs, artificial beings created following a monster's blueprints. Now do you recall what monsters are made of?"

Gaster's magic hands dropped down into the liquid, holding a hammer and a chisel. They started to penetrate 1-S's skull as they continued talking and he squinted his eyes shut to withstand the pain: "magic."

"Yes, and that magic is created and maintained by our souls. A monster's body, therefore, is a direct manifestation of their soul.
And the two of you have unique souls unlike any other monster that's ever lived...therefore your bodies, and their potential strengths, and weaknesses and limitations are completely unknown."

Two more pairs of hands descended into the tube, extracting the bone piece that they had extracted from 1-S's skull and putting into a vial for sampling.

"I've already made unexpected discoveries by pushing your limits. So I'm continuing to explore my options. Now...are you satisfied?"

1-S looked up at him, trying to read Gaster's face: "...did you ever enjoy it?"

"Excuse me?"

"did you ever enjoy hurting us?"

Gaster stopped. Did he? It was undeniable that he had a darkness within him that he could never fully control or understand.

He was capable of doing things that others would never consider. Within the blink of an eye, without a single doubt or hesitation but was that really true? No, it wasn't.

Whenever he did it, he saw you. He thought about how disappointed you would be but he was too afraid to turn back.

It was easier to say one cannot do anything about the situation he was in, rather than trying to fix his mistakes. It would mean he would admit he was wrong.

And he knew it was wrong but..

He sighed and looked down, unable to meet 1-S's gaze.

"...I do what I have to."

"that's not an answer."

More silence. 1-S narrowed his eyes as Gaster continued to stay silent: "...but it's the only one you got, isn't it?"

1-S lost him, again.
Gaster started typing instead, his eyes focused on the monitor in front of him.

His walls were back up once again...this time 1-S thought he was so close...at doing something, anything..

But the conversation was over.
The battle was lost.

.

.

.

2-P was strapped to the experimentation table, his limbs and neck restrained as he looked at Gaster's back.
He put on some rubber gloves, a car battery sat on the ground with all the necessary cables and tongues attached to it.

"WHAT WERE YOU LIKE BEFORE YOU MADE US?"

Someone who loved.

Someone who found light in the dark despite all the mistakes he had made..

Someone who believed could make a difference, make everyone happy and eventually find happiness within himself as well.

He couldn't have failed.
He had you by his side.

Had..

"It doesn't matter."

"DID YOU DO THIS KIND OF THING BEFORE?"

No, he wouldn't have even seen himself in his worst nightmares in a situation like this.

Doing these things..

He would have continued tinkering and inventing.
He would have made everyone happy and he would have been the greatest Royal Scientist of all time.

People would have been proud of him, celebrated him.
He would have had a purpose. Anything to justify his existence.

"Irrelevant."

"WERE YOU NICE BACK THEN?"

'The kindest soul in the Underground' is what you called him a long time ago.

You gave him so many sweet names, told him of all the good he had done for you and everyone else.

Oh how time changed.

How he changed..

"WERE YOU HAPPY ONCE?"

Gaster froze in his motion as he picked up the tongues and stared at his hands as they trembled.

The happiest he had ever been.

[Y/N]...you were his happiness.

He would have done anything and everything to keep you.
He would have revoked his title as Royal Scientist if it meant you would have lived.
He would have given his own soul to keep you safe.

To be able to hold you just one last time before he passed.

He would gladly trade his immortality for your life.

Anything.

Everything.

No sacrifice would have been too big.

But there was no deity, no God or higher power that would turn back time for you.

No, it was a disease, a sickness that took you and he could not stop it, no matter how hard he tried.

My [Y/N]...

His eye started to sting as tears started to form but he quickly blinked them away.

"WHAT HAPPENED..?"

Life. Life happened and it was cruel to him.

It wasn't enough that it took his family and friends.

It took his hope too.
His light.

Please come back to me, my love...

I don't know for how long I can keep doing this.

Please, give me aid..

Gaster sighed, putting away the tongues and pulled 2-P's drawing out of his pocket.

He always had it on him so it was slightly crumbled up.

He unfolded it and held it out to 2-P to show it to him: "Do you remember this drawing..?"

2-P's eyes widened: "YOU STILL HAVE IT? DO YOU LIKE IT?"

"That's beside the point."

He pointed at the stick figure that resembled you: "Why did you draw her? How do you know about her?"

2-P hesitated. He wanted to be honest with Gaster, because he seemed to genuinely worry...or at least feel something, but then he thought about you and how sad you always looked when Gaster was near.

Maybe you did not want him to know...or want to be near him.

"I CAN SEE HER SOMETIMES. SHE IS LIKE A VISION BUT...NOT REALLY? SHE SOMETIMES HELPS US. SHE IS REALLY KIND."

Gaster's heart dropped. He still wasn't sure to what extent you were there and how this worked - if it actually worked - but...did he actually hear your voice back then?

Did you see him...being so cruel and disgusting towards these two children?

"I see...Do you see her right now?", he asked carefully.

2-P tried to shake his head: "NO SHE PREFERS TO STAY BEHIND. I THINK SHE IS SCARED OF YOU."

Another jab in his heart. He couldn't let this get to him.

Maybe 2-P made all of this up and tried to get to him. Even though he doubted 2-P ever had such sinister intentions towards him.

He couldn't let them know what you meant to him...what all of this means and how it affected him.

"DO YOU KNOW HER? DO YOU KNOW HER NAME OR WHAT SHE IS..?"

Gaster looked down at the drawing for a moment and quickly folded it up again, shoving it back into his pocket.

"We don't have time for this. Let's wrap this up so we stay ahead of schedule.."