{Handplates chapter reference: first stage}

"Entry Number XXX:

Interesting find today. A human speculative fiction book that theorized about creating artificial beings in a human's image..."homunculi".
Clearly impossible, particularly with how vague the book was about the process.
It does make one wonder why humans would be interested in such a thing.
Perhaps they lack purpose without lesser creatures to lord over.

It's impossible to say."

Only a couple of weeks have passed since you left this world. Gaster found himself more often roaming the piles of trash in Waterfalls as an attempt to distract himself.

As much as he wanted to mourn you, he felt as if he could never catch a break - especially as the Royal Scientist.

Maybe he also did not want to give himself a break because it would give him enough time to think. To feel. To regret..that he could not save you.

No, he wanted to move on for his sake.

And everyone else's who was still counting on him.
He refused to let anything happen to the few monsters that are left, who he deeply cares about.

As much as it hurt, he had to move on for them.

And deep down he knew that's what you would have wanted for him as well.

There wouldn't come anything from him shutting himself in and mourning by himself - you taught him that well enough.

No matter how great the setback, no matter how unbearable the pain, you always get back onto your feet and face the world with a smile.

You were strong.

Stronger than him.

You gave him this strength and now he wanted to do the same for the others.

Even if you are not here anymore, you would live through him.
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"Entry Number XXX:

Still need to adjust the Core's output levels. I keep returning to that human's idea.

Homunculi.

Would such a being have a soul?
It wasn't mentioned."

Gaster was laying in his bed, feeling restless.
More time had passed but to him it still felt like it was only yesterday when you passed away.

The memories of your face, your scent and your voice kept him awake.

Bitter-sweet memories.

They made his chest ache but he was afraid that if he wouldn't think about these things every night, he would forget about you.

Whenever he reached a certain threshold, he ended up heading to his kitchen to make coffee and start his day - no matter how early or late it was.

Gaster spent that time pondering all the different things that occupied his mind.

Sometimes there was silence in his head.
In these moments he felt empty, his shoulders heavy.
When he felt empty like that, the silence around him was drowning him.
The house felt too big.
The halls were dark and cold.
The artificial lighting only added to the coldness.

One could only hear the faint ticking of the clock, echoing through the hallway and counting away the seconds that he is now spending without you.

The happy days he had seemed so distant now.

Like a mere moment.

Sometimes his head is buzzing with thoughts.
He feels restless and anxious. Thousands of voices echo through his head.

Reminding him of his failures.
His insecurities.
His guilt and regret.

In these moments he felt like he was close to getting a panic attack again but he always manages to get a grip of himself, focusing on that faint sound of your voice that ghosts through his mind.

However, it still felt as if he was suffocating.

Strangely enough, in these moments - in this particular headspace - he has found that he has the most inventive ideas.

It was hard to keep track of them. Some were bizarre and almost ridiculous, others were answers to problems that he had tried to solve months prior but when he wanted to act upon those impulses, it was as if he suddenly froze.
As if an invisible force holding him back from literally doing anything.

Even if he had the tools right in front of him and the means to do exactly as he wanted, he found himself reconsidering.

And the pages in his notebook remained empty.
.
.
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His current thought was a rather unrealistic and foolishly hopeful one: Could he potentially recreate you like the human described in his book?

The thought of it became increasingly more appealing with every passing day.

And if this recreation would be soulless, as Gaster assumed, couldn't he potentially use your soul to fully restore you and everything you are?

The temptation was strong but so was also the fear of ultimately destroying your soul in the process or creating a being that looked like you but just wasn't you.

It would also mean he would have to go behind Asgore's back and use your soul for his own selfish reasons rather than lifting the burden off Asgore's shoulders to only take six more souls rather than starting with zero.
It was something he could never bring himself to do.

Even if Asgore did agree, would Y/N have wanted this? She specifically wished for her soul to be used for research purposes and breaking the barrier.
He would not neglect her last wish.

Besides, he was not entirely comfortable with the idea of playing God and bringing the dead back to life.
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"Entry Number XXX:

Souls are consistent in their shape. If a soul is like a biological cell, then there appears to be a standard internal structure between humans and monsters containing that entity's power.

If a similar structure or container were created artificially, could a powerful soul be transferred from one being to another?

Could a soul survive a theoretical transplant?
How much of a soul could survive that process?
Would the barrier consider a transplanted soul a living thing? Would it be possible to use the artificial container to change the properties of that being and the sould inside of it?
How exactly does the barrier determine whether something is animate or inanimate?
Is it based on the soul or something else?"

A little more time has passed and Gaster found himself almost consumed with the idea of creating an artificial being.
He was writing something down on his whiteboard but his brain was mainly occupied with these theories and their beneficial outcomes.

It would not only offer a solution for breaking the barrier, or nullify the dangers of a soul fusion, but maybe also make it possible to actually bring you back if he researched enough.

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"Entry Number XXX:

I need to stop thinking about this. I can't focus."

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"Entry Number XXX:

It can be done."