{Handplates chapter references: You need to stop, Bad choices, You're not handling this well}

There was only darkness and a gentle rustling of leaves as Gaster fell into the bed of flowers with a soft thud.
He didn't even notice it happened until it was too late. His legs gave away just like that.

"Gaster! Are you alright??", he heard the muffled voice of Asgore echo through his head.

For a moment, it sounded like you were calling out for him.
Was he that desperate?
Maybe he was just tired.

Two firm but furry hands grabbed Gaster and picked him up from the ground.

"You passed out...", said Asgore, concern laced into his voice.

Gaster did not respond right away, hanging in the air as Asgore held him. He was so much taller than him, he picked him up with ease.

Gaster put his hands into his pockets, using his magic hands to hold his head. Everything felt blurry and his head was buzzing.

'Unh, I'm alright... I must have gotten dizzy...', he signs lazily and Asgore sets him back down on the floor.
He still had his hands stretched out towards him to make sure he didn't lose his balance and fall.
Gaster still somewhat held onto him, trying to blink away the dizziness and holding his forehead.

"Gaster, I'm really starting to worry about you. You're working too hard, it's taking a toll on your health. Whatever it is, it can't be that important...", Asgore finally voiced his concern, his expression saddened.
He hated seeing Gaster tearing himself apart for whatever he was working on.

'I'm very close to a breakthrough, I'm sure of it...', Gaster tried to defend himself.

'I'm going to get us all out of here, you'll see... I'm alright. I just need more time...', he explained, still holding onto Asgore to keep his balance.

Asgore was momentarily distracted by Gaster's hand as he took a hold of his big one. He held Gaster's palm in his hand, inspecting the giant hole in the center.

"Look at your poor hands, they look worse every time I see them. Are they giving you trouble?"

Gaster stays silent, pulling his hand away from his and holding both of them close to his chest as an attempt to shield himself from Asgore's gaze.

"If Y/N would have been with you it wouldn't have happened. She could have looked out for you. I don't like you working all by yourself down there. I know you said it was an accident, but..."

Gaster turns further from him away, his eyes focused on the ground. He subconsciously rubbed his hands together, feeling the holes in his palms with his fingers while his magic hands kept signing: 'Please, I've asked that we not talk about this.'

Asgore grasps his shoulder, preventing Gaster from shutting him out even further and as an attempt to reassure him.

"I'm not sure I believe you. I understand that you want to get us out of here but it's not worth tearing yourself to pieces. This isn't your burden to bear."

Asgore's words held undeniable truth.
But Gaster was too stubborn to realize that.
Besides, he was too far gone anyway.

What good would turning back do now?
No one could ever forgive him for what he did so he may as well see it through.

"When the time comes and the last soul falls, I will break the barrier and do what has to be done.", declared Asgore with determination.

Gaster's heart sank a little as he heard his words.
He lost everyone he cared about.
He can't lose Asgore too.

"That is my duty as king."

Asgore reached for Gaster's face, his giant hand cupping the lower half entirely as he made Gaster look up at him.
He looked into his eyes with genuine determination and kindness.

"But my duty is also to my people, and my friends, and your wellbeing is more important to me than anything you're working on.
Besides, Y/N wouldn't want to see you tear yourself apart like this either. We would not want you hurting yourself, not for any reason. I can't lose you too."

Asgore's eyes were filled with pain and a hint of guilt.
It made Gaster feel even worse. His heart ached inside his chest.

"Stop pushing yourself so hard. It's not your responsibility.
Take care of yourself, and I will take care of the barrier."

Asgore put his hands on Gaster's shoulders, trying to show him how urgent his request was.

Gaster couldn't say anything. Instead, he averted his eyes, contemplating. He did not want Asgore to go through the soul fusion and he would do anything to avoid this from happening.

He would do anything to keep him safe.

As ridiculous as it sounded, Gaster felt like Asgore was his exact opposite. He was kind, patient, gentle.
Asgore looked out for those around him and he always fought so hard to keep everyone he cared about safe.

Even when that decision ended up costing more than he expected.

Gaster felt like Asgore was the last one who deserved to end up like this...going through a soul fusion and possibly entirely losing who he once was.

No, he could not let that happen.
He was the only good thing still left in his life.

He was like a light in the dark and he could not let it get tainted by anything for any reason.

Gaster's thoughts were interrupted as Asgore pulled him closer, gently guiding him towards the exit of the throne room with a gentle smile: "Come on, some tea will help you relax. You can go back to work after you unwind a little, alright?"

Gaster was silent again for a moment, his eyes fixated on the ground.

'...if you insist.'

Asgore has always been too gentle and too kind.

You don't have the same darkness inside that I have.

If anyone should make such sacrifices, it will be me.

I will get us out of here, no matter what the cost.

And you will never have to kill anyone again.

I'll make sure of it.

.

.

.

"I've waited too long. The project is in danger. My objective h̶a̶s̶  is it at risk of being compromised.
I cannot afford any further delay.

They are still childlike, but no more time can be wasted.
Even this, in the end, was foolish diversion.

It does not matter if they can understand.
It does not matter what they look like or if they can think or what they feel.

This is not what I made them for.
I need to regain my focus.
I need to regain control.

I need to remember why I am doing this."

2-P sat in front of Gaster as he measured his palm:
"WHY DON'T MY HANDS LOOK LIKE YOURS?"

Another incredibly annoying question. Sometimes Gaster really wished he could just tape his mouth shut.

"You and Subject 1 don't look alike, do you?", Gaster replied with basically no emotion in his voice.
He has tried his best to detach himself and his feelings to properly brace himself for the things he would do.

"I GUESS NOT...", was the only comment that 2-P had. With that, the conversation ended.

"I knew when I began what this would entail.
I knew what I'd have to do.
I knew there'd be no going back.

No forgiveness.

Decisions were made all for this greater purpose.

To create these living tools.

To even consider..."

Mercy... for a moment, he had thought about it.
The way he felt when they first started moving.
The way they interacted with him and were happy to be with him.

He could not deny that it felt nice. Like there was a sense of belonging after such a long time of darkness and isolation.

But he could not be selfish.
He wasn't doing this for himself.
He was doing it for everyone else and...he did not deserve to feel like this.
He couldn't live a happy life, knowing what burden Asgore had to carry.

He could just grab Subject 1 and 2, walk out of here and maybe have a somewhat content life with them.

But it was out of the question.

"Such selfish sentimentality gets people killed.", he tried to tell himself.

Gaster thought back about the war, where he genuinely believed he could change everyone's mind.

That if he just didn't fight, humans would lay down their weapons and listen to his reasoning.
But there was not such kindness in their hearts.
They slaughtered them all one by one, no matter if they were children or elderly.
The only thing that mattered was that those humans grew stronger without batting an eye, without any hesitation or doubt.

He had to be just like that if he, at least once in his life, wanted to get back at them.

There is only one choice.

There is only one choice.

"I told myself I'd make whatever sacrifices necessary to achieve my goals.
I'm not going back on my word.
I'm the only one who can do this. Who will do this.

There are no other options."

.
.
.

2-P looked up at Gaster with a questionable expression as Gaster instructed him to lay down on the metal table.
Gaster held up leather strips and secured them tightly around the little skeleton's body.

There wasn't much said.

The tension in the room was palpable.

The atmosphere felt heavy.

Gaster was in his own head space, doing what he had to do almost as if he was a robot.

His heart was thumping wildly in his chest and he tried his best to not look into 2-P's face.

2-P was nervous, scared almost as he laid there on the table.
The metal was cold and hard and he did not feel comfortable at all about his movements being restricted but he had good hopes.

Gaster must have a logical and totally explanatory reason for all this, right?

Right..?

I'm going to get us all out of here.

No matter what it takes.

Gaster's heart was still thumping wildly as he picked up the drill.

Surprisingly, he did not tremble at all. He managed to distance himself so far from the situation that he felt like he watched someone else or like he was being controlled by an invisible force.

"The greatest test of my strength.

I am determined."

Gaster picked up the metal plate.

It felt cold against his fingertips, his fingers engulfed in a gentle blue hue as he used his magic to prevent 2-P from further moving.

"Can you move?", Gaster asked bluntly, his voice void of any emotion.

"N...NO. IT...IT'S HARD TO BREATHE..", confessed Subject 2, his voice hoarse and trembling lightly.

He looked up at Gaster's expressionless face, hoping he would see his fear and maybe ease up a little.

But his face remained the same.

"I...I'M SCARED.", confessed Subject 2 and tried to hold back a sob, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Gaster just looked down at him as if trying to register his words.

There was a heavy silence between them for a moment before he finally spoke up: "...Good."

He turned on the drill in his hand, the hissing of it harsh and loud.

"You should be scared of me."

"I will not fail."

.

.

.

"It is done.

They asked me, begged me, screamed at me to stop.

When I did not, they called out for their "brother" to save them...

When they did not, they called out for someone, anyone, to help them.

But nobody came.

A lesson we all must learn at some point."

Gaster sat on the floor, surrounded by burnt buds of cigarettes.

He inhaled deeply, the smoke of his new cigarette seeping into his ribcage and calming his nerves.

Gaster did not keep track of how many he smoked or for how long he has been sitting there by now, but he could not control his shaking, no matter how hard he tried.

His chest felt heavy, every fiber of his being on edge.

Another inhale, another puff of smoke coming out of his mouth, clouding the air of the room he sat in.

"What will they build out of the pieces?
Can they even understand what just happened to them?
How will they adapt to this new paradigm?
What will change?"

Those were questions that were going through his head at a hundred miles per hour.

There was so much that he was worried about, so much he felt guilty about, but he could not allow himself to think too long about these feelings and questions.

It would only make things worse.

.
.
.

"NNGH! MY HAND HURTS, I CAN'T GET IT OFF – I HATE IT! I HATE IT, WHY DUD HE DO THIS TO US???", exclaimed 2-P, still panic in his voice.

"i knew it, i knew it, i knew we shouldn't – we couldn't trust him-", said 1-S in response, his voice low and angry.

Tears were streaming down both their faces. 2-P sat on the bed, holding his hand with the plate in pain.

He looked over at his brother, trying to make sense out of the situation.

"WHAT DID WE DO WRONG??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND, WE...WE WERE GOOD, WEREN'T WE?"

1-S paced through the small space of the cell, his movements rigid and angry.

"it wasn't us, WE didn't do anything wrong. it was HIM, he wanted to – to do this to us-"

2-P looked back at his hand, rubbing it gently, his expression doubtful.

"MAYBE...MAYBE HE WAS WORRIED WE'D GET LOST OR, OR, THEY'RE MAGIC AND WILL PROTECT US FROM SOMETHING OR-"

1-S spun around, infuriated by his brother's optimism and hopeful thinking.

"are you serious?! how can you even say that?! how long were you screaming while he drilled that into you?!"

2-P tried to defend himself and in a sense Gaster as well, now growing just as irritated as his brother: "MAYBE HE HAD TO DO IT THAT WAY!"

"yeah but not for the reason you think. we're just things to him...he's always said that.", mumbled 1-S and turned away, his gaze darkening as he let his thoughts wander.

"he doesn't care about us – he's never cared about us. he can do whatever he wants to us and who's going to stop him? no one even knows we're down here, and it's not like we can get out-"

1-S stops himself, realization hitting him like a truck. He brought his hand to his forehead, tears starting to stream down his face again.

"....god, oh my god...what is he going to do to us? this is just the beginning, isn't it? this isn't going to stop, it's just – it's just going to get worse-"

2-P looked back at his brother as he kept talking, his whole body trembling as he unwillingly started to imagine all the other horrors that Gaster could put them through.

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to both stop himself from thinking about these things and protest: "NO...NO, NO, HE WON'T! HE WON'T, HE'S NOT LIKE THAT! HE'S NOT – HE'S NOT GOING TO-"

1-S immediately interrupts him, flailing his hands around in disbelief.

"look at your hand, for god's sake!! don't you get what's going on here?! don't you get what we ARE to him???"

"THAT'S NOT – THAT'S NOT WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN – HE'S NOT GOING TO HURT US ANYMORE!", 2-P continued to protest.

At this point, he was desperately trying to deny anything his brother was implying.

It wasn't true.
This could not be the truth.

"are you JOKING? what do you think just happened!! what on earth do you think is going to make him STOP???"

2-P brought his hands up to his skull, trying to make sense of everything.

Trying not to listen to 1-S and let his words get to him.

At this point, he was trying his best to convince himself that Gaster would not hurt them further as he kept insisting: "HE'S NOT – HE'S NOT GOING TO HURT US ANYMORE, I KNOW IT! I KNOW IT, HE HELPED ME ONCE, HE'S NOT A BAD PERSON, HE'S-"

Subject 1 immediately cut him off, his eye sockets entirely black from the anger and frustration he felt towards his brother and the man who kept them imprisoned.

He raised his hand and pointed at the handplate, pointing at it: "not a bad person except for these. open your eyes!! can't you tell, he's not going to stop, why would he? what has he ever done for us except-"

2-P continued to hold his head, his body trembling hard as he kept trying to deny anything that Subject 1 said.

Suddenly, he lets out a long gasp. 2-P brings his hand to his chest, feeling as if his heart almost stopped.
His shoulders twitched uncontrollably as he tried to catch his breath, tears still streaming down his face.

The gasp soon turned into multiple short and labored breaths, his chest rising and falling unevenly as panic filled his entire being.

1-S immediately stopped talking and rushed up to him, holding his hand tightly.

"woah, woah, woah hey, are you okay?"

2-P does not respond, his fingers digging into the fabric of his robe and still breathing unevenly.
His eyes glowed in orange as tears kept falling.
His hand trembled when he held onto his brother's hand tightly.

"jeez, calm down, calm down. hey, can you hear me?"

1-S's was right next to 2-P but in that moment it felt like he was miles away, his voice distant and muffled.

2-P felt as if his whole brain was overloading as he tried to compose himself but to no avail.

Subject 1 picked up on his emotional state, pulling him closer into a hug and soothingly running his fingers over his skull.

2-P held onto him desperately as if he was his last lifeline, ragged breaths escaping his mouth.

1-S glowed in blue for him as a last attempt to calm him.

"hey shhh, shhh calm down, come on. deep breaths, okay? i'm scared too, alright? but we're okay. we're both okay. i'll figure something out. don't worry. calm down."

2-P finally managed to somewhat catch himself, hugging his brother even tighter, but his voice was still shaky and his shaking uncontrollable:

"IT CAN'T, HE CAN'T-

THERE HAS TO BE GOOD IN HIM. THERE HAS TO BE, THERE JUST HAS TO BE....
HE HAS TO STOP, HE HAS TO STOP. HE HAS TO.

HE...HE...

IT WON'T GET ANY WORSE THAN THIS...

RIGHT...?"