{Handplates chapter references: You were not the same after that, In an isolated system}

It was dark and quiet in the cell as 2-P once again shrieked awake from another nightmare.
His eyes darted up to your face as he attempted to shift closer to your body but the subtle tingly sensation that he was feeling whenever you touched each other was not enough to calm his shaking form.

It's been several days where he had desperately clung to you at night for any comfort but he could not take it anymore.

This silence. This distance to his brother was killing him and he slowly reached his breaking point.

2-P's bones started to rattle as he began sobbing and crying again, causing you to stir awake as well. 1-S slightly shifted on the bunk bed as well, taking a small breath. 

"cmon, bro, you gotta breathe", 1-S finally said quietly. He sounded just as defeated as his brother. There were dark circles under his eyes. A sign that he also was not comfortable with sleeping by himself.

"IF- IF I SAY YOU WERE RIGHT, WILL YOU STOP HATING ME?", 2-P blurted out and tried to wipe his tears away that uncontrollably rolled down his cheeks.

1-S sat up and turned to his brother, who was still sat in the corner of the room and being held by you: "ah jeez. i don't hate you."

"I JUST- I DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU SAID – YOU SAID I WAS...YOU ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD BEFORE, WHEN I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL ANYTHING BUT THIS TIME, YOU..."
In his desperation, 2-P's eyes started glowing orange and he scurried to his feet to close the distance between him and his brother.

"it wasn't the same, we could have-"

"I KNOW BUT, BUT I'D ALWAYS BE THINKING ABOUT, HOW WE LEFT HIM, AND YOU'D, YOUR SOUL – I WANT TO SAY WHATEVER WILL MAKE YOU STOP BEING MAD AT ME BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.."

2-P shouted, his voice was desperate and he could barely control his trembles: "I...I WISH HE WAS DEAD!"

1-S shook his head, averting his eyes and sighing deeply: "jeez, you don't have to do that"

"I-I WISH HE WAS...I WISH I'D LEFT HIM.", 2-P buried his face in his hands, trying to convince himself that he actually meant these words.

"don't say that. you're just gonna work yourself up again. and i know you don't mean it."

2-P protested: "I-I DO! I REALLY... I REALLY..."

"you don't mean it. it's not in you."

1-S sighed and put his hand on his chest, thinking for a moment: "it's in me, and it's in him, but it's just not in you. i guess that's how you were made.
...and it wasn't really fair to ask you to in the first place, i guess. it's just... we were so close, were so close to getting out of here, and never getting hurt again, and... i'm just sick of seeing you get hurt, you know?"

1-S looked up at 2-P again, trying to explain his feelings. There was a glint of desperation in his eyes but he also hoped he could make 2-P understand.

"sometimes i hate him so much for it it scares me, and seeing you heal him, it... thinkin' about it still makes me mad. he doesn't deserve it. he doesn't deserve someone like you carin' about him after everythin' he's done."

"SHE CARES TOO."
2-P suddenly looked over at you and you looked between the two of them in surprise and confusion.
Was this the good kind of attention or the bad kind? What were they talking about?

"it's not the same. i dunno what her deal is and maybe we will never know until we figure out how to talk to her properly. but you got all this faith in him and he ain't ever gonna pay it back to you. you're too good for him. anyone is too good for him. and..."

1-S's voice became quieter and his eyes trailed towards the ground: "i really would've let him die, if i was out there, so maybe you're too good for me too."

2-P's eyes widened as he spoke these words.

"i dunno. i don't get it. i don't get how you can be like that. i think i really messed this up."

2-P raised his plated hand and looked at it before closing it and trying to speak up: "...I DON'T GET HOW YOU COULD LEAVE SOMEONE TO DIE, EITHER. BUT I DON'T THINK THAT MAKES YOU BAD.
JUST BECAUSE YOU COULD OR...YOU THINK YOU COULD....THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU WILL, RIGHT?"

2-P was searching his brother's face for reassurance and continued talking: "YOU COULD MAKE A GOOD CHOICE INSTEAD. AND I KNOW YOU'D MAKE A GOOD CHOICE."

2-P attempted to crack a small smile but 1-S only frowned in response: "see, i don't get how you do that. have faith in these things that just...hurt you."

2-P extended his hand towards 1-S, his voice soft as he spoke: "YOU'RE MY BROTHER. I TRUST YOU. I KNOW YOU'D MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
EVERYONE CAN MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE, IF THEY JUST TRY... I KNOW THEY CAN.
I KNOW YOU CAN.
EVEN IF...YOU HURT PEOPLE, OR DO BAD THINGS...THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU STILL CAN'T DECIDE TO BE GOOD INSTEAD.
YOU CAN ALWAYS BE GOOD. NO MATTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
AND, IF IT'S TOO HARD TO BE GOOD..."

There was a determined look on 2-P's face as he continued speaking: "THEN I'LL HELP YOU. YOU CAN TRUST ME TOO."

1-S's eyes turned dark as he looked at his brother with utter disbelief. A small chuckle erupted from his chest and he shook his head again: "...i just don't get it. ...he, me and him BOTH don't get it. god, we really are the same."

The realization made 1-S tear up and he held his head, trying to control his crying.

"YOU'RE NOT THE SAME, BROTHER! YOU CARE ABOUT ME!"

Those words pulled 1-S back out of his headspace and he stared at 2-P for a long moment. "YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT'S CARED ABOUT ME. SINCE DAY ONE."

"...yeah...you too."

"I'M SORRY I DISAPPOINTED YOU."

"i'm sorry i asked you to do somethin like that. it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway...nothing ever does..."

1-S sighed and looked back up at 2-P, who had his arms open for a hug.

1-S carefully hopped off the bunk bed and walked up to him. He sunk to his knees right in front of 2-P and fell forward, letting 2-P catch him and fully embrace him.

1-S buried his face in his chest as 2-P gently caressed his skull and back, whispering words of reassurance to him: "WE'LL GET OUT OF HERE SOMEDAY, I PROMISE. SOMEHOW."

There was a stretch of silence when both enjoyed the comfort that they had longed for so long.

"ok."

.

.

.

"Where is he? He's been late more and more often lately...I'm starting-"

The door slid open with a small buzz and Gaster stepped into the room, interrupting Asgore as he spoke to Alphys.

'I'm here, my apologies...I got caught up in something. I should have all the readings you requested.'

Silence fell upon the three as Gaster looked into the faces of Asgore and Alphys and he nervously readjusted the strap of his bag around his shoulder.

Alphys covered her snout in shock as she saw Gaster and Asgore had an equally worried expression on his face.

Gaster did not quite understand what the fuzz was about, his gaze shifting between the two monsters: '...Is something wrong?'

He attempted to appear as nonchalant as possible but every fiber of his being hurt. He was on edge, the pain in his limbs not subsiding.

It's been a while since 1-S had dragged him into the lasers but he did not have the will to heal himself.

As ridiculous as it sounded, he felt as if he deserved it. He had paranoia and self-hatred constantly nagging on his conscience ever since this incident.

Maybe this was what he could suffer through to at least somewhat atone for what he had done.
Or maybe it was just to feel something. That he is still here.

"D-Dr. Gaster, w-what happened to your face? I-it's cracked..."

Gaster instinctively reached for one of the cracks in his skull, his fingertips tracing along the edges: 'Oh...oh nothing. Just an accident. I don't want to discuss it.'

Asgore pointed at the patch on Gaster's sleeve as he raised his hand to his head: "And your coat..."

Internally Gaster cursed himself for making them realize so fast. Not like he could have done anything about the literal cracks in his skull – admittedly, he was so consumed in his thoughts, he forgot that they existed.

He felt as if his entire life was breaking apart, just like he did.
A suiting reminder of his failures. 

But he could have at least attempted to hide the patches on his lab coat better.

Too late now.

'Ah, yes I had to do some repairs...thankfully I still had the sewing box the quee-'

Asgore's gaze lowered and Gaster immediately wished he hadn't mentioned her. It was still a painful topic.

He quickly tried to change the subject: '...Well, I tried to fix it. Anyway, about the Core-'

Gaster reached for the bag and opened it, pulling out several papers.

"What happened?", Asgore asked once more but Gaster just straightened up the papers and flicked through the pages with his fingers: 'I told you, I don't want to discuss it.'

"You were limping when you came in. You're even shaking now. You're still in pain, aren't you?"

Gaster's eyes shifted to his hands. They were still trembling.

His mind started to panic, as he tried to think of any reasonable excuse.
He could not tell them what had happened. How he got almost killed by his own creations.
Gaster rather wanted to lock himself into his room and just think about everything that had happened to him but he did not have the time to worry about himself.

His condition was anywhere near good, the small amount of healing that 2-P had given him was only enough to keep him stable for the time being.

He thought not showing up after this incident would have caused more suspicion but now Gaster wasn't sure if being here with them was a good idea altogether.

They were too perceptive.

The papers rustled slightly as his grip on them tightened, Gaster's defense fully up: 'This meeting isn't about my personal health. If we're not going to talk about the Core then I might as well leave.'

Yes, leave. Run away. That's what he was best at after all.

Asgore persisted: "When did this "accident" occur? How serious was it?"

Alphys extended her hand, attempting to reach out for Gaster: "I-I can do my b-best to heal you if you want-"

Gaster clenched his jaw, his gaze focused on the papers in his hands. He finally turned away, bagging the papers again as he headed towards the door: 'Fine. Call me when you want to be serious. I have work I need to get back to.'

He could not bear looking at them. And he was also unable to answer any of these questions. He wished he could be honest with them but it was to keep them safe. To keep them untainted.

"D-Dr. Gaster-"

"W.D. Gaster, you will answer me when I speak to you.", the firm voice of Asgore made Gaster visibly flinch and he stopped in his tracks, his back still turned to them.

"Are you still wounded, and how severely?"

Gaster did not dare to look into Asgore's face, his magic hands doing the talking for him instead: 'I'll deal with it on my own. It's not your concern.'

"You are being extremely childish right now. What would [Y/N] say if she saw you like this? Would you lie to her like that too? Come here.", he demanded.

'It's not your concern-', he was interrupted as Asgore shouted, this time more angry: "Come here!"

Asgore grasped Gaster's hand and he desperately tried to break away from him but Asgore was too strong.

He lifted Gaster off the ground, his free hand carefully closing around Gaster's upper body to keep him supported in the air as he started to scold him: "Why is it so hard to get you to take care of yourself?"

'Stop-', Gaster struggled against him, trying to get his hands off him but to no avail.
Asgore's hands started glowing green as he began to heal him.

Gaster continually begged him to stop with his signs, his whole body fighting against him. 'stop, stop-'

They were getting too close. His blue hands dissolved, Gaster's entire body trembling as he made a decision he hated himself for.

Within a swift movement of his free hand, Gaster had summoned a wall of blue and white bones, successfully making Asgore let go of him and creating distance between them.

Alphys and Asgore gasped in shock, backing away from the attack that was directed at them.

Gaster fell to his knees, holding his ribcage as he tried to withstand the pain. His body was trembling, he could barely keep himself up.

His eyes were fixated on the ground and he tried his best not to break down and cry:

After a small struggle, he managed to get back onto his feet, slowly walking away from them.

Gaster did not sign these words to them.

He just tried to convince himself. What had happened at the lab earlier had stirred something up in him and he did not know what to do with all of these feelings.

And these two caring about him didn't help.
He can't turn back.
He has to do this alone.

Gaster moved through the door and into the hallway. As soon as the door closed, he no longer attempted to hide the limp in his step.

He stumbled sometimes, leaning against the wall for support and clutching the fabric of his shirt when his chest started aching.

Gaster desperately tried to blink away the tears that built up in his eyes and clenched his teeth as he continued moving. He reluctantly pushed himself off the wall and limped further down the corridor.

Asgore turned to Alphys: "I'm worried about him.
He can't keep this up much longer... He just can't."