[Handplates chapter references: Have you played that cool new game, Filled with predetermination, Conflict is imminent]

It was the middle of the night.
Sans sat on his mattress, studying his journal.
He was surrounded by chips bags, a little trash here and there and some empty soda cans.

The zip drive and the small flower box were also sprawled out in front of him.
He desperately tried to find connections to all of these things and strange occurrences.

Sans's eyes kept flickering through his writing, scanning each line carefully and repeating some of its key words:

"déjà vu...seeing memories...current timeline...1-s, 2-p..."

What does all of this mean? It was difficult to wrap his head around anything.
His eyes trailed back to the small flower.
This flower.
What was it made of..?
Why was it glowing – even if it was just faint?

Sans slowly reached out for it, picking it up and rotating it in his palm.
No doubt, there was some kind of magic infused with it.
He could feel it and it somehow made him feel slightly tingled in response, like his soul was resonating in some way.
But why would it?
Why would it be...connected to him? It all didn't make sense.

With another sigh, Sans put the box away again and got off the bed.

He wouldn't find answers sitting around. He had to do something...he had to understand the discoveries he had made on this PC device before it shut down.

A sudden idea struck his mind. It was one that made him feel uncomfortable but he needed to find out what was going on...for his own sanity and maybe to protect Papyrus if it ever came down to it.

He wouldn't have to know what happened, what he had seen.
He shouldn't have to deal with this at all – he is happy.

So Sans had decided this mystery was his burden to carry.

He headed towards the door of his room and pushed it open, peaking around the corner to see if Papyrus was anywhere to be found.

The hallway was quiet, the lights were still on but from the looks of it, Papyrus was sound asleep in his room.
It didn't feel good to go behind his brother's back but Sans thought it was necessary.
It was something he had to do and that only he alone could do.

He hesitated one last time, taking a shaky breath before he teleported himself back into the work room.

The bright lights from his room were replaced by an almost oppressing darkness.
Sans could barely make out the silhouettes of the machine but he found the slot for the zip drive once again to reboot the PC.

The screen lit back up again, bathing the entire room in an almost painfully sharp hue of blue.
The same warning windows popped up again, he entered the same password and he initiated the same rendering process.

𝚁𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙲𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙴𝚡𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚊...

. . .

. .

. . .

The vibration of Sans's phone startled him and his attention shifted to the small device instead.
It almost gave him a heart attack, considering what he did felt like he was betraying Papyrus's trust in every way imaginable.

He had received the phone from a friendly monster called Alphys and they got along rather well, so obviously one of the first numbers he ever got on this device was hers.
She was kind of awkward but that was somehow part of her charm.

Nothing about her felt threatening, which put Sans kind of at ease and her interest in science was refreshing.

Sans had someone to actually talk to about all these books that he learned things from.

It's been a while since they had texted – usually Sans was kind of too lazy to reply – but they had occasional friendly conversations nevertheless.

He picked up the phone and skimmed through the messages:

𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐬, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐥

𝐢 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩!

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞-𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞. 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭! 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ^^;
𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐬! 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝!𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞!

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭. 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰? 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 <𝟑

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞! 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥! 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬.

𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐥 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟!! 𝐬𝐨! 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐥 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!!

𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞, 𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐱_𝐱 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞...𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐨

𝐨𝐡 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲...𝐢 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 ^^;

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐞? 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥! 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐡𝐚

𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭! 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞!! 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥.

𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞!!!

Sans's hands trembled uncontrollably as he read these messages. These things...they sounded way too familiar.

Could it be that- No, how would that be possible? It doesn't make sense but...it sounds just right.

It felt like Sans's world was falling apart when he realized but he did not dare to make this thought his final conclusion.
It couldn't be.
There can be other options.
He'd just have to dig a little more...
But-

it's funny.

Sans's eyes widened as he looked back at the screen again and he felt his heart rate increase once more.

He almost dropped his phone as he stared directly at a colorful layout, consisting of lines and what seemed to be routes, intricately woven together into a complex system.

His eyes dimmed as he scanned the different areas, his mind immediately connecting the dots.
His breath hitched as he looked at the blue and orange hearts on the screen.

for some reason...

finding out there's something or someone out there that's controlling everything we do...

using us to do...SOMEthing, i dunno what...

something about that seems...

familiar.

A rush of panic overcame him but he could not do anything, remaining frozen on the spot and looking at the blue and orange lines that were slowly but steadily threading itself through the system.

Sans felt...helpless.

And this feeling – it didn't feel new.
It felt familiar.
Like he had been through it so many times before.

His eyes landed on another suspicious looking spot, that was slightly hidden in the corner.

It was nothing but a single word, which wouldn't be that strange if there were more words in this chart or whatever it was.
But it being the lone variable on this monitor made it stand even more out: NULL, it said.

i don't feel surprised.

i don't know what this feeling is.

or if it's even a feeling.

Sans averted his eyes, slowly looking down at his hands.
He still could not believe it.
His mind was going crazy, his thoughts racing through his head as he tried to comprehend his discovery. This changed EVERYTHING.

is any of this real?

is anything i've ever done, or thought, or felt...was any of that actually real?

or was it all....planned?

controlled?

made by something i can't even see, or maybe even understand.

It felt like the walls were closing in around Sans and the darkness seemed to start swallowing him whole as his thoughts kept spiraling.

does it even matter when i can't even tell the difference?

Sans's broken eye dimmed, the dark socket a stark contrast to the violent blue glow of his eye that was still intact.

It was an instinctive reaction.

A desperate attempt to try and comfort himself by glowing.
It did not do much to ease his mind.

In fact, for the first time in his life, it felt like it did nothing at all.

does anything matter?

Does it really matter?
It was hard to tell. Was his own life actually his own?
Or was he just there to fulfill someone's or something's purpose?

The questions were becoming overwhelming. His thoughts grew darker as his heart continued to drum in his chest violently.
He gripped his skull anxiously, as if trying to keep the thoughts and questions from overflowing but no matter how much he tried to think of something else...it was too much.

what even is "real"?

or any of us even people, or are we just...

things...

That word rang in his mind.
He did not like this implication at all. Something about this – all of this – felt so familiar, it was terrifying.

He did not want to be reduced to only that word.
He wanted his feelings to matter, his thoughts to be validated but...what would that even mean if his own thoughts...aren't even his own?
What about him was actually, legitimately him?
Was there anything that was not constructed?

A sudden noise behind him caused Sans to quickly turn around, his eyes flashing an intense shade of purple.

He was startled as he saw Papyrus stand right there in the doorframe, looking at him with a stern expression and Sans could feel his heart drop.

Papyrus immediately took a few steps into the room, his eyes flickering to the monitor for a moment and then to the giant picture of the same monitor being projected onto the entire wall behind it.

"h...how did you know i..."

"YOU WEREN'T ANYWHERE ELSE!", cut Papyrus in, his voice loud and clearly irritated.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT THIS MACHINERY THING WASN'T WORKING.", he asked, a hint of hurt in his voice.
It was evident that he felt betrayed.

"uh...it wasn't. then i found something in the workroom and-"

Papyrus cut into Sans's rambling, bending over slightly so he was the same height as his brother and looked him in the eyes: "AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?? WHEN DID YOU FIND SOMETHING?"

Sans did not know what to say.
He could not stand lying to his brother but the telling the truth wasn't exactly comfortable either.

Sans avoided the eye contact almost immediately, scratching the back of his neck.
Somehow facing his own brother was suddenly more nerve-wrecking than the discovery he had made.

"uh... a... while ago. i, uh...", Sans replied nervously. He tried to get a hold of himself, shaking off the anxiety and guilt before shifting into a more casual and laid back stance.

"i didn't want to tell you until i knew the whole story."

Papyrus seemed even more infuriated by that, throwing his arms up and yelling: "I'M HAVING A LOT OF DIFFICULTY SEEING HOW THAT COUNTS AS US FIGURING THINGS OUT TOGETHER, BUT FINE! FINE!"

He leaned down to his brother again, frowning at him and stemming his hands on his hips: "WHAT'S THE WHOLE STORY THEN, SANS?"

"uh..."

Instead of letting Sans talk, Papyrus continued rambling, clearly hurt by his brother's actions: "I RECALL YOU SAYING BEFORE THAT IT WASN'T IMPORTANT AND WE DIDN'T NEED TO REMEMBER ANYTHING AND WE SHOULD JUST FORGET ABOUT THIS WHOLE PLACE, THAT ALL WE NEEDED WAS EACH OTHER, BUT YOU DIDN'T REALLY NEED ME TO FIX THIS MACHINE APPARENTLY."

Papyrus pointed at the machine, trying to understand his brother's intentions.
Sans knew what he had said and he meant every word of it. He wanted Papyrus to be happy and he really was.

Maybe he was just selfish, keeping this to himself and maybe this suggested how much Sans contradicted himself but...this was something that he had to do.
For himself.
He wanted Papyrus to stay happy and live his life – just like he currently is – without having to deal with any of his...explorations.
He did not realize it would end up hurting Papyrus more.

"SO IS IT IMPORTANT OR NOT?", Papyrus finally asked, making Sans shrink inwardly.
He nervously grasped his arm, trying to create some distance between himself and his brother.

"cmon bro, lay off..", he mumbled quietly, feeling Papyrus's intense stare digging into the top of his skull.
If he didn't feel small before, he definitely did now.

"i was just lookin around and i found it by accident...i was going to tell you..."

Papyrus narrowed his eyes, his arms crossed in front of his chest: "REALLY?"

"...yeah...sure i was..."

Papyrus accepted that response for now, turning his head to look at the display: "THEN WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE LINES? WHAT'D YOU FIGURE OUT, SANS?"

Sans followed Papyrus's gaze, his heart twisting in his ribcage as he took in the image in front of them.

The colors were shimmering so softly and peacefully but what these different patterns and lines indicated was anything but that.
How could he tell his brother that nothing that they know is....real?
How would he react?
Would that break him?

"uh...it's...", Sans focused on something, anything on the floor in front of him, rather looking at nothing than this horrible screen.
He was visibly squirming, shifting from one leg to the other and back again and nervously shoving his hands into his pockets.

"uh..."

It felt like Papyrus's gaze was burning him, his heart rate increasing once again like it did so many times before tonight.

Finally, he took a deep breath and lifted his head again to look his brother straight in the eyes.

"it's...it's nothing, actually.", Sans chirped, shrugging playfully and giving his brother a small wink.

"just a bunch of junk. corrupted data. missing pieces. you know the story. big waste of time, heh. figures, right?"

There was a moment of silence that stretched between them, Papyrus's face dropped just so slightly.
His jaw was slightly opened, just staring at Sans in stunned disbelief or surprise.

Did Papyrus believe him?
Did he manage to convince him?

"...YOU'RE LYING TO ME?", Papyrus finally breathed, his face twisting into a hurt expression and he grasped the fabric of his shirt over his chest as if Sans's words had struck him inside.

Sans's face immediately shifted into one of panic: "what- no-"

But Papyrus didn't let him finish. Tears were now welling up in the corners of his eyes and he put his hands onto his chest to make Sans clearly understand who he was talking to.

"YOU'RE LYING TO ME! YOU SAID THAT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER, THAT WE'D FIGURE THIS OUT TOGETHER, AND NOW YOU'RE LYING TO ME?"

"i'm not-"

Papyrus blocked off Sans's feeble attempt to ramble any excuses, pointing back at the monitor: "DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS OR NOT?"

Sans wished for nothing more than to disappear right now.
He could potentially but he knew it would only make things worse but he was insistent to protect his brother.

"it- it's nothing-"

"NO IT'S NOT, I SAW THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE. WHAT IS IT, SANS? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? TELL ME! IS IT ABOUT US? IT IS, ISN'T IT! WHY ARE YOU HIDING IT FROM ME?"

Sans was so close to breaking. He could not stand the way Papyrus looked at him.
He hated keeping secrets from him but he did not seem to be willing to understand that this was only to protect him. To keep him happy.

Sans panicked, desperately trying to think of anything that would deescalate the situation.

It was as if something suddenly snapped. Like a switch was turned on and Sans somehow did not find himself trembling anymore.

No nervousness, no more squirming.

He was calm.

He put his hands behind his head, leaning back rather casually as he smiled at his brother brightly: "it's nothing. just a bunch of nothing, so it's nothing to worry about, heh. just forget about it."

Was that finally convincing enough? Did he put on a good enough act to let Papyrus let this all slide?

When Sans cracked his eyes back open again, the first thing he noticed was how Papyrus stared him down, betrayal and utter disappointment written all across his face.

He breathed heavily, trying to keep himself composed but Sans could clearly see that he was trembling...and then those tears. Those silent tears that creeped up into his eye sockets again.

"FINE!", Papyrus shouted, his eyes flashing an intense hue of orange.
It almost looked like they were on fire.

"I DON'T NEED YOU! I DON'T NEED ANYONE! I'LL FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF!", he continued to yell angrily, stomping out of the room.

Sans immediately took a step after him, calling his name but he just violently turned to Sans again and screamed: "AND WHEN I DO I WON'T TELL YOU. AND THEN YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN SOMEONE YOU TRUST DOESN'T TRUST YOU!
WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE THINKS YOU'RE STUPID!"

These words were like several jabs through Sans's heart.
That was the opposite of what he wanted to happen.

He just wanted to protect him.
To keep him safe.
Happy.
Not...

Sans helplessly watched as Papyrus disappeared into the darkened hallway and he attempted to hurry after him: "papyrus, wait! that's not..."

But as he rounded the corner, his brother was already gone, leaving him alone in this dark place.

"that's not why i...", Sans still tried to explain himself but his voice faded out as he looked at the closed door.