A/N:

Strap in everyone, it's about to get kinda angsty for the next few chapters.

If I have missed any triggers PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me!!!!

Trigger warning: self-hate, self-harm, mentions of past self-harm, suicidal thoughts

|Previous chapter:

I tried my hardest to get the thought out of my head, but it wouldn't budge.

What if I'm wrong and I don't hate him.|

Virgil POV:

As soon as Patton left, I turned my attention to the soup he had brought me.

It was tomato soup, my favorite, but I couldn't bring myself to have any appetite.

I knew I had to eat at least a little bit of it for Patton's sake, so I picked up the spoon and started eating.

About halfway through the bowl, I heard some shouting from the kitchen.

My curiosity got the best of me, and I wanted to go see who it was. Patton must have put something in that soup because I suddenly had the energy to get up and run a mile.

I tip-toed down the hallway and peeked around the corner into the kitchen. There was Roman sitting on the island with an ice pack on his head speaking rather harshly to Patton.

"-bothers Thomas enough as it is. At least now he won't be able to offer his mopey-dopey input for a while. I don't like him."

Hearing that confirmed my suspicion that if Roman ever found out that I was dying he would be happy.

I ran away, barely able to see where I was going. My vision was starting to blur from the tears that were frantically falling down my face.

I made it to my room and slammed the door before I collapsed on my floor, coughing up many petals. I couldn't be bothered to hide them.

It wasn't long before thoughts rushed into my head.

He truly hates you. Nothing's going to change that. You were so stupid for falling in love with him. You'll only ever be an annoyance to him. Get that in your useless brain now.

Getting up, I stumbled into my bathroom and dug through my drawers, trying to find a friend I haven't seen in years.

It took me a while, but after a few minutes, I was able to find my little box. I sat on the floor and opened it, seeing the row of blades, some bigger than others.

I had been clean for over a year, and it had felt nice, but this was just too much.

See, you're weak to even consider cutting. If you could actually handle this you wouldn't even have this box.

I don't even know why I kept it. I think it might have been in case something like this ever did happen.

Look at them, all shiny and clean. Just imagine what you could do.

I picked up the smallest blade out of the box and put the rest on the floor next to me. I rolled up my sleeve and lightly pressed it to my arm. My hand was shaking, but I couldn't stop myself.

I dragged the blade across my skin, smiling slightly at the thin line of red that appeared where the blade had been.

I made more cuts, each one getting progressively deeper than the last until I had ten cuts on my wrist. I got up off the floor and cleaned my arm, surprised at how easy it was for me to remember the routine I had for cleaning up.

Once the bathroom was clean, I grabbed the box and some bandages and put them in the drawer of my bedside table.

"For those days when I didn't have any energy," I told myself, getting back into bed.

I knew that this was a bad habit to get back into, but who cares, I'm gonna die anyway. So what if it's sooner than I expected.

A/N:

So that got kinda dark kinda fast. You can thank my mind for coming up with this while I was in the shower. I was gonna post this tomorrow, but I couldn't wait for you guys to read it. Tell me what you think in the comments and feel free to vote!!

Again, if I missed any triggers, please tell me. Your guys' mental health is my top priority. If you or anyone you know is suicidal or even thinking about suicide, please call the following number depending on where you live; 

US: 1-800-273-8255
Australia: 131114
Canada: 514-723-4000 (in Montreal); 1-866-277-3553 (outside Montreal)
Mexico: 5255102550
UK: 08457909090
Netherlands: 0900-0113
Czech Republic: 549-241-010
Austria: 017133374
Italy: 06-3377-7740
Serbia: (+381) 21-6623-393
Romania: 0800 801 200
Lithuania: (Child line) 116 111; (Youth line) 8 800 28888; (Hope Line) 116 123; (Women's line) 8 800 66366; (Russian-speaking) 8 800 77277 
Finland: 09-731391
Indonesia: 500 454
Malaysia: (06) 284 2500
Japan: +81 (0) 3 5286 9090 (Befrienders International, Tokyo); +81 (0) 6 4395 4343 (BI Suicide Prevention Centre, Osaka)
Ireland: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate); +44 (0) 8457  90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Cuba: 532 348 14 49
Philippines: 028969191
Sweden: 4-631-711-2400
Germany: 0-800-181-0771
Brazil: 188
South Africa: 0800 567 567
Spain: 902500002
France: 01 42 96 26 26
Belgium: 1813
Poland: 116 111
Norway: 815 33 300
Sweden: 020 22 00 60
Hungary: 116 123

Also here's a link to a website that lists a whole bunch of numbers for each country: http://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html

So many people care about you guys. You're all such beautiful, incredible people. The world needs you around.

Until next time,

Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

~death_by_fanfic