A/N:
Y'all, I've been waiting for this chapter since I first thought of this story idea. Like, I wrote a draft of the end of the chapter in a notepad months ago.

Also, be ready for angst. It'll hit you from all sides.

TW: Crying, swearing, mild fighting, needles, anesthesia, panic attack, just... angst.

|Previous chapter:

Deceit cut me off with a whisper, a sad half-smile on his face as he spoke those words I dreaded hearing. "It's not you."|

Virgil POV:
As soon as I heard Deceit speak, I felt my breath freeze in my petal-filled lungs. "No," I whispered, shrinking away from Deceit as I started to shake. "No, no, no, no, that's not... no."

I was so lost in my mind that I didn't notice Deceit walk around to the other side of the bed.

"Virgil," he said, breaking me from my nonsensical mumbling. As soon as I noticed him, though, I flinched away from him, tears starting to blur my vision as I struggled to breathe.

"Virgil," Deceit said again, and I met his tearful gaze. "I'm not okay. You do need to worry about me."

"B-bullshit," I stuttered, scrambling off the bed and turning to pace the room, my hands reaching up and tugging at my hair. "You're literally dying. Hell, we both are. You aren't okay, and it's all my fucking fault."

"How isn't this your fault?" Deceit asked, standing up as well and coming around to stand in front of me. "I didn't fall in love with you. Neither of us can't control that. This is your fault."

"But it is my fault!" I cried, pushing past Deceit and continuing to pace. "I fucking fell in love with Roman, and then I tried to kill myself and didn't spend nearly enough time with you after that, and you fall in love with me, and everything that's happened lately is all my fucking fault!"

"Virgil!" Deceit said, walking up to me. "You-"

"No, Deceit," I interrupted, my back to Deceit as I stopped pacing. "Just... stop, okay? Can you just leave me alone?"

The hospital room was silent except for the sound of my labored breathing. In the silence, I realized what exactly I had said, and I internally cursed myself, closing my eyes as I waited for Deceit to react.

Between breaths, I heard Deceit take a breath as if he was going to speak.

"Just go," I whimpered, wrapping an arm around my stomach while my other hand covered my mouth as I tried to hold in sobs that were fighting to escape.

For the next minute, neither of us said anything, and I didn't dare turn around until I heard the soft click of my door shutting. As soon as I heard that sound, I allowed myself to break down, collapsing on my bed as sobs wracked my body.

While I cried, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, all of them about how much I had fucked up. The thoughts jumped from my suicide attempt to telling the others about my Hanahaki to not spending more time with Deceit.

After what must have been 10 minutes of crying, I felt my throat tighten as petals fought to escape my lungs. Rolling onto my side, I propped myself up with my elbow just as I started coughing. A few minutes into the coughing fit, I felt a large lump in my chest. I tried coughing weakly a few times, and I quickly found that the lump was blocking most of my airway. I quickly found myself struggling to take even the shallowest breath, and I couldn't stop myself from the panic that overtook me.

In the midst of my panic, I heard the door to my room open. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Patton walking into my room, closing the door behind him.

Once the door was closed, I jumped out of my bed and raced to Patton, wrapping my arms around him as I tried to fight for breath.

"Oh, my- Virgil!" Patton gasped as he wrapped his arms around me. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

Instead of responding, I just hugged Patton harder, needing the reassurance of having him there as I kept running out of breath.

"Virge, what's up?" Patton asked, rubbing my back lightly. "I can feel you practically hyperventilating. Are you-"

Patton cut himself off with a gasp, and Virgil could feel him tense up.

"Oh... oh, Virge," Patton whispered, and I could hear him try to keep his voice steady. "Are you having a coughing fit?"

Hastily, I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut as I gasped for breath. I felt Patton start to back away from me, but I whimpered, my hands forming fists as I grabbed the back of Patton's shirt, trying to get him to stay.

"Virge, what's wrong?" Patton asked, pulling away a few inches and cupping my face with one hand, coaxing me out of his shirt.

"..." I opened my mouth, trying to speak, but the lump in my lungs blocked any air from escaping. Frustrated with myself, I started crying again, tears pouring down my face. Frantically, my hands came up to my chest, and I tried to gesture to Patton what I wanted to say.

"Can you not breathe?" Patton asked, placing his steady hands on my shoulders.

Nodding, I pulled in a short, shaky breath, which turned into me letting out a violent cough. As I coughed, I could feel whatever was in my airway dislodge and move higher up in my throat. Getting out of Patton's grasp, I raced over to the bathroom attached to my room. As soon as I got in there, I collapsed on the floor, leaning against the sink as I continued coughing.

After a few more coughs, I felt whatever was in my throat fall out of my mouth. Opening my eyes, which I didn't remember closing, I looked at the floor, and my heart dropped as my gaze rested upon a singular red rose that laid surrounded by a scattering of smaller petals.

"Oh my god," I heard Patton gasp from behind me. While I was coughing, I hadn't heard him approach the bathroom. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that Patton had one hand pressed over his heart while the other was resting against the doorway. His face seemed to be very pale, and his eyes were wide open. "Virgil, is this the first flower you've coughed up?"

Still surprised by the rose I had coughed up, I nodded slowly, not trusting myself to form words. Slowly, still in a slight daze, I stood up, using the sink to help hold me up. As soon as I was standing, Patton walked over to me, wrapping an arm under my shoulders.

"Let's get you back to your bed," Patton said, slowly leading me out of the bathroom.

As we were walking, I thought about the rose. From the little research I did about the disease, one of the things I learned was that coughing up a full rose was a sign that the disease was very far advanced and that I don't have very much time left.

Suddenly, my thoughts went back to the rose Deceit coughed up when we were talking. As soon as I realized what that meant, I stopped dead in my tracks, making Patton stop with me.

"What's wrong, Virgil?" Patton asked, worried as to why I had stopped.

"Deceit. Deceit, he... he coughed up a flower earlier," I said, looking at Patton with wide eyes. "Flowers mean that the person doesn't have much time left."

As soon as I started speaking, Patton got a sad look on his face.

"I know," Patton said, glancing to the floor. When he looked back up to me, I could see that he was trying not to cry. "He said that he doesn't want to get the surgery."

"Bullshit," I said quietly, not caring that Patton was in front of me. "He has to get the surgery. I will not let my best friend die because he's too much of an idiot to realize that."

"Virgil," Patton said quietly, taking me by my shoulders once more. "One, language, and, two, this is Deceit's choice to make. And I know you care about him, but this is the choice he made."

"Goddammit," I muttered, shuffling over to my bed and flopping onto the mattress.

I could faintly hear Patton walk over to the bed, the mattress dipping as he sat down next to me. One of his hands rested on my back, rubbing gentle circles into it.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. During that time, I thought more about the rose and whether or not I wanted to get the surgery. Thinking, I tried to come up with pros and cons of both solutions. The pro to not getting the surgery was that there was a chance that Roman would fall in love with me, but there was always the con that he might not and I would end up dying. That con led me to the pro of getting the surgery, which was that I wouldn't die. And my attempt was enough to prove that I need to live.

That thought alone was enough to seal my decision.

"I want to get the surgery," I said, feeling Patton flinch beside me at how suddenly I spoke.

"A-are you sure?" Patton asked, and I could hear a faint waiver in his voice.

"I am," I said, rolling onto my back so I could see him. "I can't die. I learned that lesson from my attempt. I want to get the surgery."

Patton was silent for a few seconds, thinking over what I had said. After a while, he nodded solemnly before pressing the nurse call button. "Alright."

We sat in silence for two or three minutes before a knock sounded at the door. "Come in," I called, moving to sit up in my bed.

While I was readjusting my position, the door opened, and Picani came in wearing scrubs.

"What do ya need Virgil?" Picani asked, walking across the room and sitting in the chair next to my bed.

"I want to get the surgery," I said as soon as he had finished speaking.

"Oh," Picani said, reaching up to adjust his glasses as a look of surprise briefly crossed his face. "Well, I suppose we can fit you in the schedule tonight. You haven't had anything to eat or drink recently, have you?"

"Not all day, I think," I said, trying to remember the day. "'Cause this morning was dealing with the nightmare, and I didn't have breakfast, and then I collapsed."

"Perfect," Picani said. "We can do the surgery as soon as you want."

"As soon as you can," I said, briefly glancing over to Patton as he let out a squeak.

"We can do that," Picani replied as he stood up. "I'll have a nurse come prep you for the surgery."

"Okay," I replied as Picani walked out of the room.

As soon as Picani was out of the room, I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning back into my pillows.

"What are you thinking, Virge?" Patton asked quietly.

"I don't know," I replied, cracking my eyes open slightly. "Just... kinda glad that I've made up my mind."

Patton nodded, closing his eyes for a few seconds. "I just hope this all works out in the end for everyone," Patton whispered.

"Me too, Patton. Me too," I whispered back, my mind immediately flashing to Deceit.

We sat in silence for a few minutes until a nurse walked carrying an IV drip.

"Hello, Virgil," she said softly, walking over to my bedside and setting the bag for the IV on the rack.

"H-hi," I stuttered, my anxiety starting to creep in as I realized that this was actually going to happen.

"My name's Valerie," she said calmly, her attention shifting from the IV to me. "I'm going to be hooking you up to an IV so that we can get you on anesthesia."

"W-will it hurt?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

"It'll only hurt for a bit when I put the needle in," Valerie answered, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. "If you want, you can hold Patton's hand while I'm putting it in."

"O-okay," I whispered, grasping one of Patton's hands in my right hand as Valerie started getting my left arm ready for the IV.

"Hey, Virgil, look at me," Patton said as Valerie took the needle out of its package. "Just focus on me right now. You're doing awesome, kiddo. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Patt," I whispered, closing my eyes as I felt the prick of the needle in my arm.

"There you go!" Valerie hummed, wrapping some cotton bandages around my arm. "The IV's in, and now we just have to wait for the anesthesia to kick in."

"A-alright," I murmured, still holding Patton's hand as I shifted so that I was lying down in my bed.

We were all silent for a few minutes as Valerie messed with something on the computer next to my bed. Patton, still holding my hand, ran his other hand over my arm, which greatly calmed my anxiety.

"Okay," Valerie said after clicking something on the computer. "The anesthesia should be starting to kick in soon."

I nodded, already feeling a little foggy.

"Virgil, I need you to count down from twenty, okay?" Valerie asked, turning a knob near the bag on the rack. "When you reach one, you should go right to sleep."

"Okay," I whispered before starting to count. "Twenty, nineteen, eighteen."

As I counted, I noticed that each breath took more and more effort.

"Seventeen, sixteen, fifteen," I continued, gripping Patton's hand. "Fourteen, thirteen, twelve."

I never got to tell Roman that I love him.

A single tear fell from my eye as I kept counting. "Eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven."

I looked at where Patton was sitting, seeing a sad smile on his face as he softly rubbed the back of my hand. As I was looking at him, my vision went slightly out of focus, the edges going black for a second.

"Six, five, four, three, two."

Was it my imagination, or was that last breath easier than any I've taken in months?

"One."

Valerie was right, and my vision was rapidly fading. Before I went under, the last thing my brain registered was Patton squeezing my hand one more time.

A/N:

So... how much do y'all hate me after this chapter???

Lol, anyway, there are only two more chapters plus the epilogue, and then this book is over. The thought of that makes me really sad.

On a much brighter note, I was in New York for the past week and a half, and my fam surprised me with tickets to my favorite musical:

Dear Evan Hansen!!!!!!!!

So I got to see that, and, like, just thinking about that still makes me giddy.

Until next time,

Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals!!!

~death_by_fanfic