TW: Very, very, very briefly mentions suicide attempt, some tears

|Previous chapter:

How many panic attacks has Virgil had with no one there to help him?

The thought horrified me, and, because I'm a prince, I vowed that Virgil would never be alone when he is most in need of help.|

Roman POV:

I stayed in Virgil's room while he was sleeping to make sure he didn't wake up and do something stupid.

Virgil stirred after about an hour of sleep. He looked so calm and peaceful as he stretched and rubbed his eyes. When he saw me, he froze, and I couldn't blame him. He probably thought I was gonna insult him or something.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"Well," I started, looking down at my hands, which were folded in my lap. "I originally came because I wanted to talk to you, but then you had a panic attack. I didn't want to leave you alone in case you woke up and did something to hurt yourself."

I looked back up at Virgil and saw him staring at me, eyes wide and unblinking. I looked back down at my hands, worried that I messed something up. Neither of us said anything for a few seconds, and it freaked me out. I had no clue what Virgil was thinking, and it scared me.

Eventually, Virgil shifted his weight on the bed and spoke, causing me to look up at him.

"That's... considerate of you," he said slowly. "But why do you care whether or not I get hurt? You've made it pretty clear that you can't stand me."

I blinked a few times, trying to figure out how to respond. What I had been planning to say came to mind, but I dismissed it, instead choosing to say whatever happened to slip out of my mouth.

"Virgil," I said slowly. "I do care about you. And I know I didn't act that way earlier, but that was when I saw you as this scary, broody, emo dude that was just screwed up everything I tried to do."

I heard Virgil inhale sharply, and tears started forming in his eyes. Running over what I just said in my head, I realized that I had been incredibly stupid in my wording.

"But I realized that's not who you are," I said hurriedly. "Deceit told us some of what you've had to go through, and that made me realize that you're trying your best, just like the rest of us."

Virgil scoffed, "Yeah, cause you saying that I should stay in my room is so considerate."

I sighed. "That was said during a time where I was stressed out and very emotional. That was also before I had that realization."

"Wow, so kind," Virgil said sarcastically.

He tried to say something else, but he doubled over in a coughing fit. It worried me to see so many petals coming from his mouth. Surely he must be getting close to having to decide whether or not he'll do the surgery.

When Virgil finished coughing, he opened his mouth to speak again, but I cut him off.

"Wait," I said calmly. "I wasn't done. When you tried to kill yourself, I felt so helpless. There I was, a prince for goodness sake, and I wasn't able to slay what was troubling you. And then I read your letter..."

I trailed off, not knowing how to finish that sentence. I could feel a lump starting to form in the back of my through, but I refused to let myself cry.

Swallowing it back, I continued. "That letter made me realize just how much of an ass I had been towards you, and I am incredibly sorry. I was constantly belittling you, and for what reason? You disliked the "original ideas" I had for a video? So what, they were stupid and completely unoriginal anyways. Besides, you were doing what you were supposed to be doing, and that's keeping Thomas safe. I couldn't see that through my giant ass ego."

At that point, I had tears in my eyes, but I had to finish my thoughts.

"I get it if you hate me and never forgive me. Heck, I hate myself, but I couldn't let these thoughts go unsaid."

As soon as I finished speaking, I hung my head and let the tears slide down my cheeks. Virgil didn't speak, and we sat in silence, except for the occasional sniffle from me.

After a while, I felt Virgil hesitantly place his hand on my knee.

"Hey," he whispered. "Don't worry. I forgave you a long time ago."

"Y-you did?" I whispered back in shock. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders as soon as I heard him say that.

"Mhm," he hummed, nodding his head.

"Why?" I whispered, desperate to know.

"That's... complicated..." he murmured, drawing the hand that had been on my knee back into his lap and looking down. As soon as his had wasn't touching my leg, I missed the comforting touch.

"Oh," I sighed. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

He looked back up at me. "I do want to tell you, just... not yet."

"That's okay," I said. "You can tell me whenever you're ready."

"Ok," Virgil said meekly.

We sat in a comfortable silence. Even though Virgil had forgiven me, it would still take a while for me to be able to forgive myself.

After a few minutes, Virgil yawned, which made me wonder how late it actually was.

Glancing around his room, I found a clock in the corner.

10:33 pm

"I guess I should probably let you sleep," I said, turning to look at Virgil.

I chuckled softly when I saw him buried under a pile of pillows.

"I mean, sleep would be nice," he said, letting out another yawn.

I scoffed, laughing slightly, "Are you implying that you want me, Prince Roman, to leave your presence?"

"Yes, now leave," he said, but I could see him trying to hold in a laugh.

"I just might," I joked back, getting up and crawling out of the fort.

Walking across the room, I paused when I reached his door. Turning to face him, I winked. "Good night, friend."

With that, I walked out of his room, making sure to close the door behind me.

Virgil POV:

"Good night, friend."

As soon as Roman closed my door, I let out a sigh.

Of course. Of course, he only sees me as a friend. Why was I so stupid to think that we could maybe make things work between us?

Rolling over so that my back was towards the door, I closed my eyes and fell asleep, but not before a tear crawled down my cheek. 

Hey y'all.

So, what do y'all think of Roman apologizing to Virgil? 

I have so many ideas for future chapters and I want to be able to write them and for y'all to be able to read them because there are some twists that I came up with that you won't see coming and I'm so H Y P E D.

Until next time,

Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals!

~death_by_fanfic