Alec: IT'S MAH DAD'S SONG!

Phee: He's not your biological father dude.

King George: Or am I?

Everyone: ...what?

[King George:]

You say

The price of my love's not a price that you're willing to pay

Laurens: Uh, duh?

Alex: I'd be willing to pay the price for Laurens' love.

Laurens: What did you say?

Alex: I said I'd be willing to neigh the tides for Orin's dove!

Laurens: WHat?

Alex: Let's move on.

You cry

In your tea which you hurl in the sea when you see me go by

All Male Revolutionaries but George Washington because he is a polite boi: *Cheering loudly*

Why so sad?

Remember we made an arrangement when you went away

Peggy: No, no I don't.

Now you're making me mad

Remember, despite our estrangement, I'm your man

You'll be back, soon you'll see

You'll remember you belong to me

You'll be back, time will tell

You'll remember that I served you well

Oceans rise, empires fall

We have seen each other through it all

And when push comes to shove

I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!

Phillip: That's creepy.

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da...

Maria: Freaky

You say our love is draining and you can't go on

You'll be the one complaining when I am gone...

Alex: Spoiler Alert, we won't

And no, don't change the subject

'Cause you're my favorite subject

My sweet, submissive subject

My loyal, royal subject

Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

You'll be back like before

I will fight the fight and win the war

Washington: Well...

King George: *Huffs*

Seabury: You tried your best, your majesty.

King George: Thank you peasant man.

Lee: *About to throw hands*

Phee: If you start fighting I will take away your food privileges.

Everyone: *Holds food closely to themselves*

Madison: We like our food a lot.

Jefferson: Don't you dare take away my- *looks at candy* Snickers?

Phee: No fighting.

Washington: Do you really not know your people's names?

King George: I don't think you can either.

Washington: Actually, I can. That's Hercules, my first child. He's a good child, and he makes clothes, which is cool.

Hercules: *Proud*

Washington: Then there's John, he's very gay, and likes nature a lot. He says save the turtles a lot too.

Phee and Alec: *Have a flashback* Yeah. Cool.

John: UwU

Washington: Then there's Lafayette, the sassy french man. He's good in battle. You can see why he's my favorite.

John and Hercules: *Sputters*

Lafayette: Thank you father! *hugs Washington*

Washington: Then there's Alex, he likes to read and write, which is cool. He's also bad-tempered and sassy. He doesn't like me calling him son.

Alex: THAT'S CORRECT!

Washington: Then there's James, the sick boi, and Thomas, his bodyguard. Thomas and Alex make me have a heart attack everyday, but I still love them. James needs special attention though, which is fine by me.

Jefferson and Madison: *small yay*

Washington: There's Aaron, he's like the middle child, but I make sure to give him equal allowance/attention. I have neglected him in the past though.

Burr: That is true.

Washington: There's Eliza, Angelica, and Peggy. Best ladies out there, wish I could have them in the war, would have won earlier.

The Schuyler Sisters: *Poses*

Washington: There's Lee, which is on my naughty list since he is always not listening to me.

Lee: Fair enough.

Washington: I have now adopted Maria, she is a nice girl, with a bad past.

Maria: *shocked* T-thank you.

Washington: Then my grandchildren, Theo and Phillip. They are the best.

Theo and Phillip: You bet we are!

Washington: And I'm taking custody of Seabury because Lee and him are obviously in love and I don't want a Romeo and Julian situation.

Eacker: Wait, Romeo and Juliet?

Phillip: No, Romeo and Julian. They're gay.

Eacker: I'm gay for you.

Phillip: You are?

Eacker: Uhhhh...

Phee: Continue the song please-

For your love, for your praise

And I'll love you till my dying days

When you're gone, I'll go mad

So don't throw away this thing we had

'Cause when push comes to shove

I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love

Eacker: That's even more creepy.

Phillip: For once, I actually agree with you.

Eacker: Yay -w-

Phillip: But we have to talk about what you said earlie-

Eacker: cOnTinUe, ShAlL wE?!!?!?!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat-

Everybody!

[Full Ensemble:]

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da da da da

Dat dat da ya da!

Everyone: *Singing and laughing*

Alec: Next song then!