Phee: Hello guys! Today we're... pretty okay.

Peggy + Maria: *being closeted gays*

Phee: Let's just get going. Anyways, we have a special guest with us! 

Squider: *poofs in the room* Hello! 

Alex: *screams and jumps into John's arms* WiTCH

Laurens: AlEX yoU'RE sQUISHinG mE

Phee: Let's just get going... again. 

Hamilsquad + Burr: *trying to grab Alex off of Laurens*

[Burr:]

Ah, Mister Secretary

[Hamilton:]
Mister Burr, sir

[Burr:]
Didja hear the news about good old General Mercer?

Alex: *gets off of John* Yes?

[Hamilton:]
No

Jefferson: I thought you said yes?

Alex: This is the past Jefferson. THE PAST-

Washington: No. Calm down children. Jefferson, Hamilton. Sit down. 

Squider: *whispers to Phee* Are they always like this?

Phee: More or less. 

[Burr:]
You know Clermont Street?

[Hamilton:]
Yeah

[Burr:]
They renamed it after him
The Mercer legacy is secure

Lafayette: Don't say that! That's Hammy's trigger word. 

Hercules: *is restraining Alex*

Alex: Isn't this a little... overboard? 

Burr: I'd have to take Alex's side. He was actually was very polite about it. I think. My memory's a bit fuzzy. 

Theo: *pats Burr's head* Poor old man. 

[Hamilton:]
Sure

[Burr:]
And all he had to do was die

[Hamilton:]
That's a lot less work

[Burr:]
We oughta give it a try

[Hamilton:]
Ha

Eliza: Remember how we said "Stay Alive" back in that one song? Yeah. Please do that. 

Laurens: 'Polite' you say, Burr?

[Burr:]
Now how're you gonna get your debt plan through?

[Hamilton:]
I guess I'm gonna fin'ly have to listen to you

Lee: That's a shocker. 

[Burr:]
Really?

[Hamilton:]
"Talk less. Smile more."

Burr: *dryly* Ha ha

[Burr:]
Ha ha

Jefferson: Parrot 2.0

[Hamilton:]
Do whatever it takes to get my plan on the Congress floor

[Burr:]
Now, Madison and Jefferson are merciless

[Hamilton:]
Well, hate the sin, love the sinner

Seabury: Indeed. *clasps hands together* God loves all, and if you repent your sins-

King George: I forgot that he was a bishop. 

Lee: SSHHHH. Listen to Sammy talk! 

[Madison:]
Hamilton!

Madison: Ohhh. This night. 

[Hamilton:]
I'm sorry Burr, I've gotta go

[Burr:]
But...

[Hamilton:]
Decisions are happening over dinner

Madison: Oh it's this night. 

[Burr:]
Two Virginians and an immigrant walk into a room

[Burr and Ensemble:]
Diametric'ly opposed, foes

[Burr:]
They emerge with a compromise, having opened doors that were

[Burr and Ensemble:]
Previously closed

[Ensemble:]
Bros

Jeffmads+ Alex: We ain't bros. 

[Burr:]
The immigrant emerges with unprecedented financial power
A system he can shape however he wants
The Virginians emerge with the nation's capital
And here's the pièce de résistance:

[Burr (Ensemble):]
No one else was in
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
No one else was in
The room where it happened (The room where it happened)
The room where it happened
The room where it happened (The room where it happened)
No one really knows how the game is played (Game is played)
The art of the trade
How the sausage gets made (How the sausage gets made)
We just assume that it happens (Assume that it happens)
But no one else is in
The room where it happens (The room where it happens)

Squider and Phee: *aggressively claps* 

[Burr and Company:]
Thomas claims

[Jefferson:]
Alexander was on Washington's doorstep one day
In distress 'n disarray

Alex: I WAS NOT

Angelica: He claimed. Jefferson claimed. Dumbass. 

Alex: Ah. I'm not listening to him though. *covers ears*

Squider: 0-0

[Burr and Company:]
Thomas claims

[Jefferson:]
Alexander said

[Hamilton:]
I've nowhere else to turn!

[Jefferson:]
And basic'ly begged me to join the fray

[Burr and Company:]
Thomas claims

[Jefferson:]
I approached Madison and said,
"I know you hate 'im, but let's hear what he has to say."

[Burr and Company:]
Thomas claims

[Jefferson:]
Well, I arranged the meeting
I arranged the menu, the venue, the seating

Phee: Not gonna lie, but the fandom thinks you gave them macaroni and cheese with a small table for two and Alex just sat under the table or something

Squider: Fanart?

Phee: And a Tumblr post I think. No I don't have Tumblr I found it online. 

[Burr:]
But!
No one else was in

[Burr and Company:]
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
The room where it happened

Maria: This is really good!

Eliza: I guess Burr got all of the good songs in the musical!

Phillip: Some good music right here. 

Eacker: That's some good shit right there. 

Theo: Where did you learn that-

Eacker: I overheard Alec say it before he poofed away.

Phillidosia: UM-

[Burr:]
No one else was in

[Burr and Company:]
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
The room where it happened

[Burr (Company):]
No one really knows how the
Parties get to yes (Parties get to yes)
The pieces that are sacrificed in
Ev'ry game of chess (Ev'ry game of chess)
We just assume that it happens (Assume that it happens)
But no one else is in
The room where it happens (The room where it happens)

Washington: So it happened but it didn't happen? 

King George: That's what they're saying dear Washy-boy! 

Washington: Aren't you like, 6 years younger than me. 

[Burr and Company:]
Meanwhile

[Burr:]
Madison is grappling with the fact that not ev'ry issue can be settled by committee

[Company:]
Meanwhile

[Burr:]
Congress is fighting over where to put the capital

[*Company screams in chaos*]

Phee: If Alec were here I bet he'd say mood so I'll say it for him. Mood. 

[Burr:]
It isn't pretty
Then Jefferson approaches with a dinner and invite
And Madison responds with Virginian insight:

[Madison:]
Maybe we can solve one problem with another and win a victory for the Southerners, in other words

[Jefferson:]
Oh-ho!

[Madison:]
A quid pro quo

Phee: Also what's a quid pro quo?

Squider: I dunno. 

Madison: It's a Latin phrase meaning an exchange of goods or services. 

Phee + Squider: I see. 

[Jefferson:]
I suppose

[Madison:]
Wouldn't you like to work a little closer to home?

[Jefferson:]
Actually, I would

[Madison:]
Well, I propose the Potomac

[Jefferson:]
And you'll provide him his votes?

[Madison:]
Well, we'll see how it goes

[Jefferson:]
Let's go

[Burr:]
No!

[Company:]
...one else was in
The room where it happened

Maria: I like the music. 

[Burr and Company:]
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
No one else was in
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
The room where it happened

[Burr:]
My God!

[Burr and Company:]
In God we trust
But we'll never really know what got discussed
Click-boom then it happened

[Burr:]
And no one else was in the room where it happened

[Company:]
Alexander Hamilton!

[Burr:]
What did they say to you to get you to sell New York City down the river?

Jeffmads + Alex: That's a secret. 

 [Company:]
Alexander Hamilton! 

[Burr:]
Did Washington know about the dinner?
Was there Presidential pressure to deliver?

Washington: ... No. I did not. 

[Company:]
Alexander Hamilton!

[Burr:]
Or did you know, even then, it doesn't matter
Where you put the U.S. Capital?

[Hamilton:]
'Cause we'll have the banks
We're in the same spot

[Burr:]
You got more than you gave

[Hamilton:]
And I wanted what I got
When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game
But you don't get a win unless you play in the game
Oh, you get love for it
You get hate for it
You get nothing if you...

[Hamilton and Company:]
Wait for it, wait for it, wait!

[Hamilton:]
God help and forgive me
I wanna build something that's gonna outlive me

Angelica: So America isn't enough? 

Eliza and Peggy: *covers their mouth with hand* Ooh.

Alex: What is this, insult Alex time?

Jefferson: Glad you caught on buddy. 

[Hamilton/Jefferson/Madison/Washington (Company):]
What do you want, Burr? (What do you want, Burr?)
What do you want, Burr? (What do you want, Burr?)
If you stand for nothing (What do you want, Burr?)
Burr, then what do you fall for? (What do you want?)

Peggy: Nice drop in the music. 

Phee: It's called a beat-drop, I think. 

Peggy: Very cool. 

[Burr:]
I
I wanna be in the room where it happens
The room where it happens
I
Wanna be in the room where it happens
The room where it happens

[Burr (Company):]
I (I wanna be in the room where it happens)
Wanna be (The room where it happens)
In the room where it happens (The room where it happens)
I (I wanna be in the room where it happens)
I wanna be in the room... (The room where it happens)
Oh (The room where it happens)
Oh (I wanna be in the room where it happens)
I wanna be (Where it happens)
I wanna be (Where it happens)
I've got to be, I've got to be (I wanna be in the room where it happens)
In that room (The room where it happens)
In that big ol' room (The room where it happens)

[Company:]
The art of the compromise

[Burr:]
Hold your nose and close your eyes

[Company:]
We want our leaders to save the day

[Burr:]
But we don't get a say in what they trade away

[Company:]
We dream of a brand new start

[Burr:]
But we dream in the dark for the most part

[Burr and Company:]
Dark as a tomb where it happens

[Burr (Company):]
I've got to be in the room... (The room where it happens)
I've got to be...
(The room where it happens)
I've got to be...
(The room where it happens)
Oh, I've got to be in
The room where it happens... (The room where it happens)
I've got to be, I've gotta be (The room where it happens)
I've gotta be
In the room (I wanna be in the room where it happens)
Click-boom! (Click-boom!)

Phee: And now it's the end of this song!

Burr: *claps*

Phee: And now it's time to say bye to our lovely Squider. Say bye!

Everyone: Bye Squider!

Squider: Bye everyone! *dusts out of existence*

Alex: witch. 

(A/N: was supposed to publish this yesterday but like... i forgot to hit the button??? fucking idiot i am)