Phee: Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been dreading (or waiting for)

Alex: The Reynolds Pamphlet

Entire theater: *lets out a groan that shakes the entire world to it's core*

John: AKA, Alexander Hamilton being the dumbest shit alive

Hercules: AKA, Alexander Hamilton without his squad of best friends to tell him no

Lafayette: AKA, Alexander Hamilton not having father to watch over him.

Alex: Ok you little fucking shits I get it.

[Full Company:]

The Reynolds Pamphlet

Seabury: Ooh I love this beat!

Lee: EXPOSE HIM MUHHAHAHAHAHAHHA EXPOSE HIMMM

Washington: Sorry for my rabid child he's had just a bit too much sugar today.

KG3: I have rabid children

Peggy: Are we sure you aren't the rabid child?

[Jefferson/Madison/Angelica:]
Have you read this?

Phillip: I'd be surprised if you didn't read it.

Theo: Pip, don't be mad.

Eacker: It's past.

Phillip: Weren't we about to DUEL for this shit?

Eacker: Well amongst other things but like... that's in the past.

Theo: Enemies to lovers

Eacker: Friends to lovers

Phillip: WHAT AGENDA ARE YOU ALL ON????

Theo + Eacker: the agenda of love~

[Burr/Jefferson/Madison:]
Alexander Hamilton had a torrid affair
And he wrote it down right there

Angelica: On the topic of love, lovebirds

Phillip: WHAT???

Maria: That is not love. That is a red flag. That is like, a wildfire.

Peggy: Am I your forest?

Maria: Peggy you don't have leaves???

[Madison:]
Highlights!

[Hamilton/Jefferson:]
The charge against me
Is a connection with one
([With James:] James Reynolds!)
For purposes of
Improper speculation
([With Burr:] My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife)
For a considerable time
With his knowing consent

Eliza: The more I recall the more my heartrate rises.

[Madison/Burr/Jefferson:]
Damn!

[Hamilton/Jefferson/Madison:]
"I had frequent meetings with her
Most of them at my own house."

[Burr:]
At his own house!

[Madison:]
At his own house!

Lee: OK WE GET IT, IT WAS AT HIS HOUSE OH MY GOD

Seabury: Darling, I thought we were against Hamilton?

Alex: Hey???

Lee: No, I'm against repetition, not just Hamilton

Alex: Thanks?

Lee: Also I feel lowkey bad for him he's shitting on himself at this point it's actually crazy to see this downfall

Alex: I hope you die.

Lee: You first.

[Deep voice:]
Damn!

[Hamilton/Jefferson:]
"Mrs. Hamilton with our children being absent
On a visit to her father."

Eliza: Had to drag me into it. 

[Madison/Burr:]
No...

[Company:]
Boooo!

Alex: Alright ok, it was a very well-written piece of literature you know???

John: ...

Eliza: ...

Angelica: ...

Hamilsquad: ...

Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republicans...

Maria: ...

Washingdad: ...

Peggy: ...

Leebury: ...

OT3 (Pip, Theo, Greggy): ...

Washingdad: ...

KG3: I'm not sure if we're forgetting anyone, but just know we all are disappointed in you.

[Madison/Burr:]
Have you read this?

Philip: Thanks to you assholes, yes, we all have.

KG3: I haven't!

Phillip: Great! Don't.

[Jefferson:]
Well, he's never gon' be President now

[Madison/Burr:]
Never gon' be President now

Angelica: Respectfully, are you two Jefferson's parrots?

Lee: stinking repetition no originality MY sammy could write better

[Jefferson:]
Well, he's never gon' be President now

[Madison/Burr:]
Never gon' be President now

[Jefferson:]
He's never gon' be President now

[Madison/Burr:]
Never gon' be President now

Alex: I GET THAT.

Burr: No, let's let your stupid decisions sink in more.

[Jefferson:]
That's one less thing to worry about

[Jefferson/Madison/Burr:]
That's one less thing to worry about

Washington: Retire, they said. It'll be fun, they said. The children will be fine, they said. 

Washington: *steadily getting redder in the face*

[Angelica:]
I came as soon as I heard

[Jefferson:]
What?!

[Hamilton:]
Angelica

[Company:]
All the way from London?!
Damn

Angelica: For my sisters? Always.

[Hamilton:]
Angelica, thank God
Someone who understands what I'm struggling here to do

Peggy: I'm sorry in WHAT WORLD did you think ANGIE was here for you???

[Angelica:]
I'm not here for you

[Ensemble:]
Oooooh!

Theo: Burned. 

[Angelica:]
I know my sister like I know my own mind
You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind
I love my sister more than anything in this life
I will choose her happiness over mine every time
Put what we had aside
I'm standing at her side
You could never be satisfied
God, I hope you're satisfied

Seabury: I love the callback to Satisfied! 

[Jefferson/Madison/Burr (Ensemble Men):]
He's never gon' be President now
(Never gon' be President now)
He's never gon' be President now
(Never gon' be President now)
He's never gon' be President now
(Never gon' be President now)
That's one less thing to worry about
(That's one less thing to worry about)

Lee: *descends to dante's 9th level of hell*

[Ensemble Women (Ensemble Men):]He's never gon' be President now (He's never gon' be President now)[Jefferson/Madison:] Hey! At Least He Was Honest With Our Money! ([Hamilton:] Hey! At Least I Was Honest With Our Money!)

Hercules: Oh man, our State Treasure did a major whoopsies, and all I can say is 'At least he was honest with our money!"

Lafayette: Major fuck-up of the decade.

Theo: Listen. If I had a wife like ELIZABETH HAMILTON, I'd be groveling all the time.

Eliza: Thank you?

Theo: How do you like your women? Younger? 

Burr: Theodosia Jr what the actual fuck---

Theo: Just kidding I like her son

Eliza: WHICH ONE???

He's never gon' be President now (He's never gon' be President now)He's never gon' be President now (He's never gon' be President now)[Jefferson/Madison:] Hey! At Least He Was Honest With Our Money! ([Hamilton:] Hey! At Least I Was Honest With Our Money!)That's one less thing to worry about

Lafayette: Non non, Alex, you do not get to talk

Washington: If God shall be the cure for my madness, I will be a nun forever.

Jefferson: Ok Mr. Dramatic

Washington: If God does not strike me down this very instant I shall do it myself.

Madison + Burr: D:

[Full Company:]
That's one less thing to worry about!
The Reynolds Pamphlet

KG3: Now now Hamilton, son---

Alex: Not your son

KG3: Son. Typically I enjoy a little gossip to stir the masses, but this??? Darling if you were British I'd teach you all there was to know about our governmental system, our economy, our societal norms, give you the true British treatment.

Alex: Not your son. 

Jefferson: Is that the only thing you have to say about that???

[Jefferson/Madison/Burr:]
Have you read this?
You ever see somebody ruin their own life?

Eacker: Now I have

Phillip: *jumps eacker*

[Company (except Hamilton/Eliza):]
His poor wife

Eliza: Nope. Do not drag me into this shit. Not my circus, not my monkeys

Phillip: Mom. He is THE monkey.

Eliza: Not my circus, not my monkeys.