Phee: Good day to everyone, and Happy Pride month!

Everyone: Hello! Happy Pride Month!

Phee: *In a whisper* I told them to do that

Alex: Witch-

Eliza: Alex!

Alex: She's talking to no one again!

Peggy: Let's continue! *hugging Maria*

Maria: *Smiles*

[Burr:]

There's nothing like summer in the city
Someone under stress meets someone looking pretty
There's trouble in the air, you can smell it
And Alexander's by himself. I'll let him tell it

Jefferson: No. No.

Phee: Fun fact, this was actually the first major sex scandal of American politics!

Everyone: ...

King George: Woo! Yay Hamilton! You were first!

Washington: That's not a good thing-

Seabury: Let him have his moment.

Lee: At least he's not crying.

[Hamilton:]
I hadn't slept in a week

Washington: You could have had a break!

Lafayette: Poor Alex, he's facing the wrath of Washington.

Hercules: Rest in peace, my friend.

John: We'll miss you!

Alex: G-guys! Burr, back me up!

Burr: Fun fact, I actually was Maria's lawyer in their divorce!

Alex: Not the time Burr.

I was weak, I was awake
You never seen a bastard orphan
More in need of a break
Longing for Angelica
Missing my wife
That's when Miss Maria Reynolds walked into my life, she said:

Maria: Couldn't this entire scandal be prevented if Hamilton wasn't such a workaholic?

Peggy: Oh yeah! Wow, Maria, you're so smart!

Maria: *Blushing* Thanks Peggy

[Maria:]
I know you are a man of honor
I'm so sorry to bother you at home
But I don't know where to go, and I came here all alone...

[Hamilton:]
She said:

[Maria:]
My husband's doin' me wrong
Beatin' me, cheatin' me, mistreatin' me...
Suddenly he's up and gone
I don't have the means to go on

Eliza: Admittedly that is very nice of you.

Eacker: Yeah.

Phillip: Very nice.

Theo: What entrails after after that... is not.

Eacker: Nope.

Phillip: No sirree.

[Hamilton:]
So I offered her a loan, I offered to walk her home, she said

[Maria:]
You're too kind, sir

[Hamilton:]
I gave her thirty bucks that I had socked away
She lived a block away, she said:

[Maria:]
This one's mine, sir

[Hamilton:]
Then I said, "Well, I should head back home,"
She turned red, she led me to her bed
Let her legs spread and said:

[Maria:]
Stay?

[Hamilton:]
Hey...

[Maria:]
Hey...

[Hamilton:]
That's when I began to pray:
Lord, show me how to
Say no to this

Phillip: It's very easy dad! Just say no!

Eacker and Theo: OOOO HE GOT YOU GOOD!

Alex: Now the kids are ganging up on me.

Angelica: You're lucky that it's not all of us.

I don't know how to
Say no to this

But my God, she looks so helpless
And her body's saying, "Hell, yes."

Maria: How does a body talk??

Peggy: I'm not sure...

[Maria:]
Whoa...

Peggy: *gay panic* wow-

[Hamilton:]
No, show me how to

[Hamilton/Ensemble:]
Say no to this

[Hamilton:]
I don't know how to

[Hamilton/Ensemble:]
Say no to this

[Hamilton:]
In my mind, I'm tryin' to go

[Ensemble:]
Go! Go! Go!

[Hamilton:]
Then her mouth is on mine, and I don't say...

[Ensemble:]
No! No!
Say no to this!
No! No!
Say no to this!
No! No!
Say no to this!
No! No!
Say no to this!

Washington: We haven't said anything... is this is a record.

Lee: We're just all disappointed in Hammy boy here.

Alex: Excuse me-

Lafayette: Mmmm do I sense a lawsuit coming

Hercules: Yes I believe having almost 8 kids with Eliza here wasn't enough

John: Mmm unfaithfulness

Angelica: Right on the big black box

Eliza: How wonderful. I thought you said that you were mine?

Peggy: How dare he.

Maria: I will not say anything, because I was involved and it would be hypocritical.

Seabury: This is karma for when you attacked me.

Lee: And me.

Alex: I didn't attack you-

Jefferson: You kinda did.

Madison: Yeah, I'm sure they're traumatized.

Seabury: I'm not-?

King George: Ssh-

Lee: DON'T SHUSH MY SAMMY

Burr: 👁👄👁

[Hamilton:]
I wish I could say that was the last time
I said that last time. It became a pastime

Eliza: Um- excuSE me-

A month into this endeavor I received a letter
From a Mr. James Reynolds, even better, it said:

[James:]
Dear Sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health
And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth
In the pockets of people like me: down on their luck
You see, that was my wife who you decided to

[Hamilton:]
Fuuuu...

Angelica: Finish that word. I dare you.

[James:]
Uh-oh! You made the wrong sucker a cuckold
So time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled
And hey, you can keep seein' my whore wife

Peggy: HOW DARE YOU CALL MARIA A WHORE

Phee: DISRESPECTFUL BITCH. RESPECTFULLY DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH YOU UTTER DISGRACE AND EMBARRASSMENT TO THIS PLANET. YOU ARE WASTING PRECIOUS AIR AND CAUSING GLOBAL WARMING. DIE.

Angelica: Global-?

Phee: It is not your problem yet.

Angelica: Alright then?

If the price is right: if not I'm telling your wife

[Hamilton:]
I hid the letter and I raced to her place
Screamed, "How could you?!" in her face

Peggy: DON'T YOU DARE YELL AT MARIA.

She said:

[Maria:]
No, sir!

[Hamilton:]
Half dressed, apologetic
A mess, she looked pathetic, she cried:

[Maria:]
Please don't go, sir!

[Hamilton:]
So was your whole story a setup?

[Maria:]
I don't know about any letter!

[Hamilton:]
Stop crying
Goddammit, get up!

Peggy: So you have chosen... death?

Madison: Father please restrain Peggy she's going to kill Hammy

Washington: Um- huh- alright- what-

Jefferson: Are you not our father? Mr. George Washington? Father of 15? Grandfather of 3? Hellooo?

Washington: what is life.

Phee: Ha mood.

[Maria:]
I didn't know any better

[Hamilton:]
I am ruined...

[Maria (Hamilton):]
Please don't leave me with him helpless (I am helpless — how could I do this?)

Eliza: Please don't drag my song into this 😃

Maria + Alex: Sorry Eliza

Just give him what he wants and you can have me
(I don't want you)
Whatever you want (I don't want you)
If you pay (I don't)
You can stay

[Maria (Hamilton) {Ensemble}:]
(Lord, show me how to say no to this) {Say no to this}
Tonight (I don't know how to say no to this) {Say no to this}
('Cause the situation's helpless)
Helpless
(And her body's screaming, "Hell, yes.")
Whoa!

Seabury: ... This feels unholy to see

Lee: Cover your eyes, my dear Sammy. Cover your eyes.

Jefferson: *Covering Madison's and his eyes* Noooo I do not seeee. I am Thomas "Blind" Jeffersonnn. I do not seeee.

Madison: Thomas... please uncover my eyes I am a grown adult.

Theo, Phillip, and Eacker: *Has blanket thrown over them by Angelica and Eliza*

Everyone in general: *covering their eyes*

(No, show me how to say no to this) {Say no to this}
How can you say no to this? (How can I say no to this?) {Say no to this}
(There is nowhere I can go)
{Go! Go! Go!}
(When her body's on mine I do not say...) {No!}
(Yes) Yes {Say no to this! No!}
(Yes) Yes {Say no to this! No!}
(Yes) Ye-ye-yes {Say no to this! No!}
(Yes) Yes {Say no to this!}
(Say no to this...)
(I don't say no to this) Don't say no to this
(There is nowhere I can go)
{Go! Go! Go!}

[James:]
So?

[Hamilton:]
Nobody needs to know

Jefferson: And somehow everyone knew. Wonder why.

Madison: Because we bullied him into doing it?

Burr: Think the correct term is "Peer Pressure"

Jefferson: Details, details

~~~

A/N: Hey y'all! Thanks for hanging around! I'll try to finish this as soon as possible, then I'll accept requests!

I know the look on Hamilton fics are a bit changed now, but don't worry, I'll still continue this fic! As long as there are requests and people reading this, I'll update!

also because i hate leaving things unfinished-