Phee: Alright, next song!

King George: *still sobbing in the corner*

Peggy: Should we be worried?

Phee: He'll come around soon.

[Washington:]

Ladies and gentlemen, you coulda been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here with us in New York City. Are you ready for a cabinet meeting?

The issue on the table: Secretary Hamilton's plan to assume state debt and establish a national bank. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir

Alex: Oh god, not this. 

Jefferson: Yes this? Which meeting was this?

Phee: Well, it's called Cabinet Battle #1. 

[Jefferson:]

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"

We fought for these ideals; we shouldn't settle for less

These are wise words, enterprising men quote 'em

Don't act surprised, you guys, 'cause I wrote 'em

Madison: Now I know

Hercules: Oooo this must be good!

Burr: There's worse. *eyes Laf*

Lafayette: What? 

[Jefferson/Madison:]

Oww

[Jefferson:]

But Hamilton forgets

His plan would have the government assume state's debts

Now, place your bets as to who that benefits:

The very seat of government where Hamilton sits

[Hamilton:]

Not true!

Alex: That is not true! I thought long and hard-

Eliza: We know, Alex. We know. 

[Jefferson:]

Ooh, if the shoe fits, wear it

If New York's in debt-

Why should Virginia bear it? Uh! Our debts are paid, I'm afraid

Don't tax the South 'cause we got it made in the shade

John: *coughs* Yeah right.

In Virginia, we plant seeds in the ground

We create. You just wanna move our money around

This financial plan is an outrageous demand

And it's too many damn pages for any man to understand

Alex: NOT MY FAULT YOU GUYS AREN'T ON THE SAME PAGE AS ME

Lee: Please stop having that superiority complex, you are looking to be destroyed

Seabury: Karma.

Stand with me in the land of the free

And pray to God we never see Hamilton's candidacy

Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got frisky

Imagine what gon' happen when you try to tax our whisky

Angelica: I'd imagine an entire Civil War.

Phee: *coughs violently*

Maria: Are you okay?

Phee: Mhm. Totally.

[Washington:]

Thank you, Secretary Jefferson

([Crowd (reacting):] That's my alcohol!)

Secretary Hamilton, your response

[Hamilton:]

Thomas. That was a real nice declaration

Welcome to the present, we're running a real nation

Would you like to join us, or stay mellow

Doin' whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?

King George: *snapping out of his teenage angst* Ooooo he got you good there!

Jefferson: That's all you say? YOU'VE BEEN CRYING FOR-

Madison: Thomas, calm down. 

Jefferson: Only for you.

If we assume the debts, the union gets

A new line of credit, a financial diuretic

How do you not get it? If we're aggressive and competitive

The union gets a boost. You'd rather give it a sedative?

A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey, neighbor

Your debts are paid 'cause you don't pay for labor

"We plant seeds in the South. We create"

Yeah, keep ranting

We know who's really doing the planting

John: YEAH LETS GO ALEX YOU TELL THEM

Alex: *smiles*

Laf and Hercules: *smirks*

And another thing, Mr. Age of Enlightenment

Don't lecture me about the war, you didn't fight in it

You think I'm frightened of you, man?

We almost died in the trench

While you were off getting high with the French

Lafayette: I don't know if I should be offended, or be on Alexander's side.

Alex: MY SIDE

Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the President

Reticent- there isn't a plan he doesn't jettison

Madison, you're mad as a hatter, son, take your medicine

Eacker: That's mean.

Phillip: It is.

Theo: Mhm.

*Theo and Phillip's hands touch, and then they intertwine their hands*

Eacker: *looks away*

Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in

Sittin' there useless as two shits

Hey, turn around, bend over, I'll show you

Where my shoe fits

Eliza: That is some vulgar language.

[Washington:]

Excuse me? Madison, Jefferson, take a walk! Hamilton, take a walk! We'll reconvene after a brief recess. Hamilton!

Maria: Mr. Washington, how did you take care of Jefferson, Madison, and Hamilton?

Washington: I have no idea. 

[Hamilton:]

Sir!

[Washington:]

A word

[Madison:]

You don't have the votes

[Jefferson/Madison:]

You don't have the votes

[Jefferson:]

Aha-ha-ha ha ha!

Phillip: What the hell was that laugh?

Eliza: Phillip! 

Phillip: Sorry ma.

[Jefferson/Madison:]

You're gonna need congressional approval and you don't have the votes

[Jefferson:]

Such a blunder sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder

[Madison:]

Why he even brings the thunder...

Alex: AND YOU SAY I WAS A PARROT? WHAT'S MADISON DOING HUH? *angry gremlin noises*

John: ALEX SIT DOWN! *grabs his hand*

Both: *blush*

Alex: I- what- fine. *sits down*

Peggy: And that my friends, is called gay magic.

[Washington:]

You wanna pull yourself together?

[Hamilton:]

I'm sorry, these Virginians are birds of a feather

Washington: *clears his throat* You want to repeat that again?

Alex: No.

Washington: I thought so.

[Washington:]

Young man, I'm from Virginia, so watch your mouth

[Hamilton:]

So we let Congress get held hostage by the South?

[Washington:]

You need the votes

[Hamilton:]

No, we need bold strokes

We need this plan

[Washington:]

No, you need to convince more folks

[Hamilton:]

James Madison won't talk to me, that's a nonstarter

Seabury: Maybe if you didn't offend him.

Lee: BURNED! 

Phee: Or, you can see Burr-ned

Burr: Why me?

Theo: Haha! BURR-NED!

[Washington:]

Winning was easy, young man

Governing's harder

[Hamilton:]

They're being intransigent

[Washington:]

You have to find a compromise

[Hamilton:]

But they don't have a plan, they just hate mine!

Burr: No, yours was super long.

[Washington:]

Convince them otherwise

[Hamilton:]

And what happens if I don't get congressional approval?

[Washington:]

I imagine they'll call for your removal

Eliza: Oh my.

[Hamilton:]

Sir

[Washington:]

Figure it out, Alexander

That's an order from your commander