A/N Why am I such a depressing writer? I don't know. Not song based, just pure emotions.

Alex P.O.V
I sat curled into a small ball on the cold ground. More tears rolled down my cheeks as his words ghosted through my head.

Mistake. Screw up. Good for nothing.

It's nothing I haven't heard before, but it feels like each time I hear those words more and more of me breaks. It hurts even more when it's somebody who you think will always have your back, and love you no matter what. My own father, who I thought I would never see again. He came back after he heard of my mother's death.

He said that we only had each other now and that he was sorry for walking out on me. And for some stupid reason I believed him.

He drank a lot, he was hot headed, and only cared about himself. He would sometimes beat me and break things. Sometimes he would scream for no reason. He blamed me for everything.

Accident. Idiot. Worthless.

To him, I don't matter. I probably never did, and I probably never will. To him, I'm just there for his service, and even though I try, I can never do what he wants right.

Sometimes he apologizes and gives me an excuse, but I already know his niceness is just temporary.

Stupid. Useless. Bastard.

It's bad enough I already have little self confidence, but does that stop him from breaking me to rubble even farther? Nope, he continues to do this day in and day out. And I take it like the nothing I am.