A/N who's up for some angst?? Well if not...do not read.
Paring: How about Lams. Why would I do this to my otp?! Omg, just found out this is super sad, if you can't take depression maybe you might want to skip this.

John's P.O.V.

Tonight is my last performance at the nightclub I've been working lately. I've decided it was time to try bigger. Alex is supposed to meet me there so we can celebrate, but things have been weird lately.
And I have come to one main conclusion; he cheated.
Though I insides feel like they're being ripped out when I think this, it's the most likely reason. I hope, no, I pray that I am wrong.
I shove a these thoughts into the dark corner of my mind where they often lurk. I need to focus on a song that will really be a finale. My phone rings while I'm in the middle of a good thought. It's Alex.
"Hey." I say in a somber voice.
"Hey, I'm not gonna be able to make it to your show tonight, I have work late at the office." He says with zero emotion.
"Of course you do, whatever, it's not like this is my last performance or anything." I say with complete sarcasm.
"I don't have time for your crap! Goodbye John!" He says before hanging up.
"Goodbye Alexander..." I whisper to myself.
I go through my playlist, find the saddest song there and play it. I fall asleep crying, singing the lyrics to myself.
When I wake up I have two hours until my performance. I stretch and quickly change my clothes. I put on black jeans, a white t-shirt, and my black leather jacket. I pull my messy curls into a quick ponytail and throw on some shoes.
I'm driving down the highway when I decide to listen to the radio. That song comes on again. I try not to cry...I don't want to cry...but I do anyways.
I wonder if he ever truly loved me. Did he really cheat? Ha. I must sound crazy, having a full blown conversation with myself. That's not weird at all.
I don't even realize I was already at the club, I kinda just sat in the car for a few minutes. During this time I decide what song I want to do for my finale.
When it's time for me to get on stage a grab a stool to bring with me, today feels like a sitting day. The music starts.
Say something, I'm giving up on you I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
As the words flow out my mouth something inside me begins to shrivel, slowly deteriorating into ash.
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
There's a line coming up that always burns me, like someone just took a white hot branding iron and jabbed it in my heart.
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye.
He's the one that I love, but it's time to say goodbye.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something...
When I get to the last note something in me finally snapped, it broke and crushed and burned and ached. I felt...broken.
The crowd cheered but it all faded into the background. Nothing but ghosts to me.
I walk off the stage. It finally happens. I break.
I drop to my knees and sob, I sob so hard my whole body shakes. I am nothing. He doesn't love me for a reason, I am worthless. He's given up on me, way before I could give up on him.
Say something....