A/N so this is just based off of this amazing song from Heathers, but not exactly like it. That sounds confusing, you'll see.

Alex's P.O.V.

It's time for Big Fun! Yes, I needed to reference to the godly creation called Heathers, it was absolutely necessary.

Today is the HamFam's friend day thingy...we really need to get an official name for that. Anyways, Hercules picked and of course he picked to new Pride Bar that opened up. He's really excited, but so am I, Lafayette, John, Peggy, Maria, James, and Thomas(ew).

I know what your thinking, 'What about the straight ones in the HamFam?' This bar lets straight people in as long as they support LGBTQ+. (I love that when I type that in a orainbow flag pops up🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈😍😁😁)

Right now I'm buttoning the last button on my shirt and waiting for John. I love the man but he takes longer than The Schuyler's to get ready.

"Come on Babe! We're gonna be late." I call towards the stairs. I hear footsteps from above me.

"Almost ready!" I hear him yell down. I grab the car keys and wait by the door. A few minutes later I hear the thud of footsteps grow louder. I see the most beautiful man alive step down the stairs.

"Aww, Babe! You look gorgeous." I smile at him putting my hand out for him to take. He blushes and takes my hand. I press a quick kiss to his cheek then pull him out the door, locking it behind us.

I open his door for him and close it behind him when he gets in.

"Aw, such a gentleman." He says with a snort. I fake gasp then mumble 'rude' under my breath.

We begin following the G.P.S. to the bar, attempting not to get lost. When the annoying voice announces that 'We have reached our destination' I look up to see a small brick building with the words 'Pride' painted in R.O.Y.G.B.I.V. on the glass.

I look at John a smile at the excitement on his face. We both climb out the car and walk in through the door. The first thing I notice is how much rainbows are used here, it's pretty impressive. The next thing I notice is that the rest of the HamFam is already at the bar getting drunk without me. How rude.

Out of nowhere I feel a large strong arm wrap around my shoulder and turn to see one of my best friends, Hercules.

"Oh yeah! My Otp just arrived!" He yelled obviously tipsy.

"Hey Herc." I say with a smile, John had already walked over to the bar and ordered our drinks.

"Jefferson brought weed." Herc not so subtlety whispered to he. I looked at him and we both began laughing. Why? I have no clue. I wonder if drunkenness is contagious. I walk over to the bar with Herc following me and sit down next to John. He already has an empty beer can sitting in front of him and another in his hand.

"Slow it down Hon." I tell him he nods and continues his conversation with Peggy. I call over the bartender and order a beer. I pop open the tab and take a long sip. Ahh, the buzz feels good.

About forty something minutes later I've drake four can of beer and I'm feeling kinda drunk.

But let me explain something. There are six types of drunks, The Happy drunk, The Angry drunk, The Sleepy drunk, The Touchy Feely drunk, The Philosopher drunk, and The Random drunk.

For example, John is a random drunk. He once told me that I have a beautiful foot, and that I would make an amazing Cinderella. I had no clue how to take that so I said thank you.

Laf, he's a touchy feely drunk. One time he walked up to a random stranger and began to grind on them. Herc was fuming. Which on an odd note, Herc is actually a happy drunk so I was surprised he could get so angry.

I'm not sure what I am for two reasons, one, I'm already to drunk to realize what I'm doing and two, from what I know I'm like a mix if all of them, minus sleepy. When I drink I will be up all night.

As I look around I realize that we are pretty much the only people here other than the workers. At the moment Thomas, Lafayette, and Herc are outside getting higher than kites, Peggy and Maria are making out in the corner, James is sleeping in one of the booths across the room, Eliza is arguing with a rainbow sticker, and John, Angie, and I are still at the bar.

Well, Angie and I are sitting at the bar. John is laying on top of the bar with one arm draped over his face.

"Alex," he says not sitting up.

"Yeah Babe?" I respond with a smile.

"You would tell me if I was dying right?" He asks in a serious voice.

"Of course Hon." I say looking at Angelica confused. She shrugs her shoulders.

"Ok...Am I dying?" He asks sitting up looking at me.

"Um, no babe." I say trying not to laugh.

"Ok good, because there's something I need to tell you before I die." He says taking my hand.

"But babe I just told yo-" I am interrupted by John's finger on my lips.

"Shhhh...last week, I took the last cookie out the cookie jar." He says looking ashamed. Angie and I share a look and both burst out in laughter.

"It's ok baby, I still love you." I say through my laughter.

"Good!" He says then sits up. He looks around and then tilts his head like he's listening to something.

"Uh Hon, whachya doin?" I ask him confused.

"Listening to the call of the turtles. I must be off, my love, the turtles need me!" He yells then jumps off the table and running towards to door.

"Wait, John!" I yells before I see him stop at the door. I quickly follow him. He's pushing at the door.

"The door seems to be stuck." He says grunting from pushing so hard. I begin laughing to hard that I can't breath.

"What's so funny?" He asks with an arched eyebrow. I hold my side as I point to the words 'Pull' printed on the door. A look of clarity crosses his face as he pulls the door. Before he can run out I grab him by the collar of his shirt.

"Hey! Let me go, there are turtles that need saving!" He says struggling against me.

"John why don't you go lay down with James?" I offer because I know drunk John loves to cuddle sleeping people.

"Yeah!" He says then goes over to James, climbing next to him and getting comfortable.

Now that he's taken care of for the night I decide to go outside with the stoners. I already see the clouds of smoke surrounding Thomas's car. I walk over and climb in the backseat next to Herc. I look at Thomas who's in the front seat with the blunt.

"Is that weed? I want a hit." I say making another reference and at that they all begin to laugh. Thomas passes it back and I take a deep breath, feeling instantly relaxed. I then passed it to Herc who was smiling like an idiot.

"Did you ever think that straight girls are actually gay and straight guys are lesbian?" Thomas asked looking at the ceiling.

"Where'd you come up with that one from?" I ask confused.

"Well think about it, when your gay, you like guys, and when your lesbian, you like girls." He says taking the blunt back.

"Hmm, I never thought of it that way..." I trail off. I look at Laf who is eyeing Herc up. Ew, I already know this is gonna get sexual.

"I see that look in Laf's eye, I'm out." I say opening the car door.

"Peace Ham chop." Thomas says before I shut the door and see Lafayette climb into the back. Phew, I'm glad I'm got outta there. I walk back inside and throw a sleeping John over my shoulder.

"Mmm, where we goin Lexi?" He asks with a sleepy voice.

"Home." I say pulling out the car keys. I know, don't drink and drive, but I don't feel that tipsy anymore.

I lay John down in the passenger seat and buckle him in. Then I climb into the drivers seat. The drive home took about twenty minutes.

I climb out of the car and take John out. I carry him upstairs and change him into some comfy clothes, then lay him down in bed. He sighs in contentment and begins to snore softly.

I change into some pajamas and go to brush my teeth. When I get back John was sitting up in bed looking at me.

"What're ya doing John?" I ask as I sit down next to him in bed. He looks at me then jumps on top of me. "Uh, John?" I ask. I feel him snuggle into my chest.

"Stay still Lexi. You move, I bite you." He says completely serious.

"Uhh," I start but stop when I feel teeth sink into my side.

"Ow! John!" I say shocked.

"I warned ya. Now go sleep." He says like a pouty child. I chuckle softly then begin to run my fingers through his hair. Drifting to sleep with John purring like a cat.

A/N hahaha this was so dumb lol. John should bra turtle super hero though. It's undeniable.