The moment john pins me down, i feel good inside. I know he loves me, so i decided to let him have me tonight.

*this is where all my everloving innocence i have left, goes tf away. Here comes the  liGht  smUt*

He strips down, leaving nothing but his smooth tan skin. I want to do the same, but im... What you call 'chubby'. Im not really proud of that, and john isn't forcing me, he just doesn't know that i don't like my own body. I really only did this becuase i wanted to make our realtionship last. Yeah. I know this sounds really stupid, but he is now waiting for me. His eyes linger over to my shirt. My eyes widen. No no no no. Not the shirt.

Panic rises in my chest, as i slowly put my hands on my shirt. I don't want to do this. But if it makes my john happy, it worth it, right?

I gulp, and pull it over my head. I can feel my cheeks burn red and i wait for him to laugh at my pathetic flabbyness. But instead..

I look at him. He seems happy? Then he eyes my pants.

No. I shake my head no at him. "Whats wrong alexander? Is this to much? We can stop-" i shake my head no. I sign to him that i want to do this. But really, my self conscious was screaming at me to run and hide. This is to much. But i need to get over it...

So i pull my pants off as slow as possible. I use to cut.... So those are still there. And as i said before, im fat and these thighs of mine are thicc. I take in a shaky breath, and finally pull them off. My eyes are squeezed shut. Im not looking him in the eyes. I can't...

"Alexander... Your beautiful.." I hear him say into my ear. His voice made me shiver. I open my eyes carefully, and i see him. "No im not.... Im hideous..." I say with tears welling up in my eyes. He must be lying. Im not at all beautiful.

"Yes you are." He says back with a kiss on my cheek. "B-but im f-fat! Look at this!" I say poking my belly. "I HAVE SCARS AND- AND- I-IM-" i scream and cry at the same time. "Alex. Listen, you don't need to think that. Your a beautiful human being, your not fat. Your fluffy and i love you with all my gay heart. I don't care if there are scars. That just means you went through hard times and survived them. Your strong alex. Thats what i like about you." He ends his rant and kisses me on the forehead. I smile through my tears, and wipe them away.

"Thanks john... That meant alot to me. I love you to with all my bisexual heart." I laugh and pin him down with my arms. I lean in...

And give him all the best of a kiss i can do.