This is a translation : English is not my native language, so there might be some mistakes, feel free to mention them and help me improve, I'll be grateful.

This story take a different turn after season 3. Since I'm diverting the canon, I'll add a few years to Armin and Eren. I can : it's a fiction

Armin smells good

This is what hit him the strongest, because it's something entirely contrary to nature

Erwin smelled strongly, especially after sex, a smell he can still recall when he thinks about it for a long time, and which repelled him more than everything else, more than the moans, the contorsions, an animal thing

Now, he would give a lot to smell it one more time

Armin smells good

This is what hits him the strongest now he just detached from his body, his smell like bewitched ribbons that keep attaching him to him

It's senseless, how strong this is, like there's the void around, fear in the stomach where the ribbons tie

And nothing to give him the strengh to wake up, wash up, expel him from his room and find back the reassuring solitude, nothing but that

Armin is breathing

His big blue eyes, absurdly big, still dazed, dumbstruck, don't dare to look up on him

Look up Armin where the heck is your courage, look at me, what are you afraid of now

it's too late

Levi takes a deep breathe, like he's about to talk, but from his lips only bursts a scared sigh

&

There is something you're not told about, in the army, because it's no use in the story. You're not told that at night, behind the doors, in the nooks, everybody visits. This is not a secret, even if everybody stays quiet. You fuck fiery when you expect to die. In the Cops, you sacrifice for tomorrows you'll never know, answers you'll never read, so you don't refuse that. It lowers the pressure, it's a way of living. One last drink. You fuck because you will die tomorrow, so there is no need to make promises. This is learnt very early. The youngests guess, then imitate the eldests when comes the wish to try. And for those who don't get the silent rule, they are taught harshly : no feelings. What you want, with who you want, guy, girl, you even forget the grades, you do what you want after the carefew, as long as there is no drama on day. We don't bother.

You don't kiss

This, this is improper

the rest...

Some recruits, more envious, try to read in the lines of light which screen under the doors.

« You got your beloved friend back, don't you ? » said Levi to Mikasa

« I've always been crepped out by the way you fawn over Eren, said Jean to Armin.

- It's pretty harsh » slightly objected Armin.

Eh. He's still the one who came in Eren's room.

It was after a training day, when Eren got upset one more time. So, maybe Armin is excessively naive and believed he could talk with him to calm him down, but maybe too he perfectly knew what was about to happen, and was tempted by it. We will never know.

Eren was under the sheets, alone, and he was furiously jerking off. He hollered when he saw his friend come in, but his voice strangled when Armin bent over him. Two, three glances, gestures - how do you explain this - were enough for them to get to know what one and the other wanted. Eren bit his shoulder, coming in his hand. He kissed the bite, after the last spasm. And then Armin left, and Eren felt dumb.

The morning fter, he was still feeling dumb, and this was exactly the wrong thing to happen, so it irritated him even more. Damn, Armin, this is inappropriate, you know. I didn't need you, I didn't need things to become weird between us, didn't need to bother.

In the evening, he's the one who rusehd into his friend's room. He scowls at him. Armin doesn't serve him his naive smile, but calmly he contemplates. Contemplates, that's the word. Eren vaguely knew that his friend admired his boldness, but this is not something he cares about.

Shit. Armin ?

« Things mustn't become weird between us, Eren spits.

- It will not b...

- Your head mustn't turn upside down, Eren says, coming closer and pressing an agressive finger between his eyes, and lead you to bad decisions because of this. »

Because I don't care if you want me, actually. It was good, yesterday. I'm even tempted to do it again.

« Eren, don't you trust me ? Armin whispers, taking his wrist to push it aside, because even that, he does it gently.

- On my life. » Eren breathes.

And his veins, under Armin's fingers, whispers too : on my life

On my life I trust you, but I know you, Armin, you've got a body so delicate it's absurd for a soldier, and your mental is wider than the mountains you dream about, including the deserts, and the oceans too.

So, about feelings...

I fucking know you, Armin. As you breathe, you love.

« No feelings » warns Eren

It means : I'm unable to love

Armin has a little laugh. I know. No one is more sincere about this rule than you.

Eren loves freedom only, and if he makes friends – people who adopt his cause and laugh to his jokes – love will never be his thing.

« No feelings. » assures Armin

Nobody lies more strongly than Armin, on this rule

And this is how, upside down, you fall for a promise

Eren shudders with impatience while taking off his shirt, he almost shoves Armin to his bed. But, once they are naked under the sheets, they search for each other with caution. It's clumsy. This is not something you know how to do well, especially in this army, especially hidden, the first time

And many times, after

With no drama on day, with no love at night.

It is a strange and terribly carnal union : desperate Armin, passionate Eren, no, wait, the opposite, maybe. But maybe it lasted precisely because it was wobbly, like these eroded constructions that stand by miracle, because under the rust, the foundations are fossilized.

Their friendship looks like that

Nobody, no one else ever entered Eren's bed.

Basically, he was not really into it : he could satisfy himself pretty well alone but, fuck, it was Armin.

Armin achieved this, this must be acknowleged. He was he only one.

Eren loves freedom only, and Armin was the one who told him about it the first

One night, Levi watched the line under the door. Behind the closed wood, he heard them. Armin's moans, so tenuous, escaping from the bottom of his throat, sound like cat meows. By the squeaks, the mutters, the grunts of this stupid Eren, Levi guesses with disgust the gestures they're making to each other, and gets away.

One night, Levi heard them talk, the three of them. It was the day before the Reconquest. Mikasa was thinking about the life they used to have, a life of games, of fights and family, something Levi never experienced. Eren was talking about revenge. Armin was telling stories full of unknown words and landscapes they could barely picture in imagination. Let's start by going to the sea !

Levi sat, alone in the corner of a house, and he listened

On the day before the reconquest

Armin told them about the sea to remind them why

Since this day, Levi dreams about the sea without knowing why

And then...

« Have I ever lied to you, Eren ? »

Yes, once. The first time in my room.

I entrust it all to Eren

My dreams

My life

My whole existence !

Then, happened the most excruciating of the dilemmas, on the roof

This little burnt body of Armin and

Erwin

Erwin Erwin Erwin

Life running like the finest sand, shared between their two beings and black in Levi's head, the weight of the decision on his shoulders, his heart in the middle, punching to run away

And this brat of Eren, bawling and howling at him

That Armin is to be saved

L ook past your own feelings !

Who are you talking to, Levi ?

You were still hanging on Erwin, but his questions were not what you were interested in

You knew it since this evening when it was not a joyful and naive past, as inaccessible as it was, that was tempting you

But the other promise, reachable

Eren wake up ! You're going to see the ocean !

The future.

Erwin, you had all my loyalty

I always trusted your judgement and

You left me this ultimate choice

A gift, a burden

Give up on your dream and die

After that, Armin didn't go around Eren's room often anymore

Levi doesn't now what they said to each other, and he doesn't give a fuck

Not often anymore but it still happens sometimes, when they need to remember they're alive

One night, Eren browsed all of Armin's skin, under his hands, all of his skin, like he was checking if the burnt was totally recovered, or like he was so blinded by revenge he could only recognize him like that

He ended on his lips

It was the last time

Remember they are still alive

Something like that, probably

Something Levi never really understood

He gave himself to Erwin, sometimes, yes. It was a gift like an other, which the eldest never claimed for, by the way, he was far to elegant for that, elegance of the soul. But Levi knows men. He noticed the glances, the repelling tense of desire. He felt offended first, vaguely amused then, and, very quickly, jaded because, really, how stupid and low men are. They're too predictable. Then, almost by charity, he came to visit him, one night. Maybe he was curious too, finally. He prefers to think of it as a gift. The sensation was not really unpleasant, Erwin would have never done something unpleasant, it was not his fault if the smells, the fluids, the body parts were dreadful to Levi. He clenched his teeth and as soon as it was over, he promised to himself : nevermore, scrubbing his skin with a porous stone. But it seems he actually liked Erwin, because he did it again a few times. Sex was a funny gymnastic, for nothing very much in the end, or something he never understood. Sometimes, he felt that something bigger than pleasure was wrapping Erwin up with a halo, and trying to grab him too, so he turned his head from his ardent eyes and from his kisses, always aborted

But Armin

Armin is definitely a whore for feelings

(Nothing less is recquired to chose Eren as your night companion)

he looks like nothing

he looks like everything

His messy estim, his enthousiasm more contagious than the plague, his imagination striking like a spell, his cleverness that doesn't stop at the impossible

Not to mention the most absurd : this sensitivity which is nothing fragile, which is, on the contrary, his most solid part of humanity

That is a thing that does scares Levi, impresses him

Scares him

So generous it's awakening his own one, buried a long time ago but never muffled well, he can feel it bumping in his burning guts

I didn't know it was possible, didn't know it could, after so many years, resurface

no :

surface

The song of his moanings sometimes drills the solitude of his nights, in the memory, the (day)dream

And it digs the wish to understand

To let himself grab by this halo he refused to Erwin ; why, do we know

The wish, this repelling tense

The desire

chokes him with indignation

And he knows Armin feels it

One night, Armin is on the threshold of his room

There neither, no one ever entered but if one is able to defy the walls, it's definitely him

The Colossal

The lights are off, he barely sees the slightly lighter edges of his hair, his long legged silhouette, and when Levi hears his breathe, it feels like he's quenched himself

Armin is waiting. It's not an hesitation. He's waiting for an permission, or a refusal.

He gives a hand. Levi steps back

to let him come in

What am I doing

Armin

comes closer with caution

In the dark

Clumsy, because this is not something you know how to do well – even after a few years with this brute of Eren

Clumsy because he's still full of shyness, but this is not a weakness

He gives a hand, Levi steps back

Taking his wrist, with tenderness

Is he holding him back, is it already an embrace ? This is unsure

Armin caresses Levi like you would tame an animal

For a long time, eyes closed, without taking off his clothes because he observed, analysed, understood all the paradoxes without having to be explained. Levi already feels the sweat sticking to his shirt, and he wants to tear it out, or stop everything, but the effervescence rising under Armin's hands is holding him back. Worse, the young man touches his neck with the tip of his nose, without any hesitation, without any disgust. He smells him and the scent of his blonde hair goes at the same time to his head. He didn't think it could be like that, he didn't know. Armins slips his hand inside his pants and caresses him, for a long time, like you would tame an animal. Supported against the cold stone of the window sill, his forehead against his, Levi holds his breathe, not knowing if he wants this to stop quickly or to extend. And, after a while, he slips his hand too. His hands, actually, because the other one finds the back of his neck and keeps pushing him against his head. Armin's breathe draws waves on his cheeks, in his half open mouth.

And after a while, he takes off Armin's jacket, then his shirt, and Armin does the same to him. Waves of melted heats pour like waterfalls against their skins so close. Distraught, they tighten each other to hold them. Their hands and mouths rush on it, they do anything, and they do it well, hips seeks for hips, arms twitch around the ribs to hold tighter, thoughlessly tight, beyond any restrain

I didn't know it could be like this

Take me, Levi grunts against Armin's skin

Take me, this is what he used to do

I want to know how it feels when you want it

I want to recall him

take me

Never, he has never felt as naked as this time, when Armin's naked body slips between his open legs

Armin never played this part with Eren, Levi can feel it in his worried, emotional flesh, but he doesn't give a fuck

Armon doesn't have a sunny body, and he doesn't smell like honey or vanilla, all this stupid stuff :

You wouldn't know him

His skin glides under Levi's stunned hands like the labyrinthine relieves of a seashell

Of which fractals roll up, more and more delicate, and infinite

A distant and rare treasure, indecipherable

Something so inaccessible you preferred to do as if it didn't exist

&

And his depht

His depht

&

Armin smells good

This is what hits him the strongest now he just detached from his body, his skin demanding him again already, his limbs agitated by little shivers, spectrum of a too big pleasure

Levi takes a deep breathe, like he's about to talk, but from his lips only burst a scared sigh

And Armin lifts up his head to kiss him