Soundtrack credits: The Bitch is Back -Elton John; Chain of Fools - Aretha Franklin; Judy's Turn to Cry - Lesley Gore; Please Mr. Postman - The Marvelettes

The Bitch Is Back

Briarcliff looked exactly as she remembered it. Imposing brick edifice of doom. Jude lingered on its lowest step, fretting. Shachath paused a few steps higher, looking back at her companion. "Judy?"

A heavy sigh. "Are you sure this isn't hell?"

The dark angel smiled. "You aren't doubting yourself, are you?"

"Just my sanity."

"That's not in question." Shachath looked up, gazing at the pristine firmament of Briarcliff. "You'll find it as you left it, I believe."

"How is that possible? With the time that's passed?"

"Does it matter? You're stalling, Jude."

A glare. But Jude seemed to gather her strength. She looked down at herself, white sundress swaying beneath her knees. A tisk. She closed her eyes. When she opened them, Shachath was gone, and her old habit brushed the top of her booted feet. With sure steps she approached the double doors and - with a mere thought - swung them open wide. An echoing bang announced her arrival.

The bitch was back at Briarcliff.

The entryway was indeed just as she remembered. In fact, perhaps even moreso than she remembered. Her last days here, as Betty Drake, were little more than a blur wrapped in a murmur. Her heels clicked against the marble floor. Almost wistfully, her fingers caressed the dark wood of her 'Stairway to Heaven.' There had been a time when she'd truly believed in it...

She was tempted to call out to Mary Eunice. To simply call out in general. To break the stifling, overwhelming silence. But something else kept her quiet: some odd sense of sanctity, as if the souls trapped here deserved at least the peace of quiet if naught else.

She had one foot on the bottom most step when motion caught her eye. Sharply, she turned. Just there. To the left. Someone had moved. Or something. Just a shadow it seemed, but dark. She blinked, checked her vision. There was no one there. Odd. Suddenly the sharp memory of a drunken night, a film, missing patients and that...thing...in the hallway. She shook away the vision. A vision from a bottle.

She looked up to the landing and began her ascent again when -

"Who's there?"

She whirled toward the voice, a flashlight shining from dimness, clicking off in the light. "...Frank?"

The security guard squinted. "Sistah Jude?"

She stepped down, went to him, forehead creased. "Frank, what the hell are you doing here?"

He was close to a smile seeing her. It nearly broke her heart. He shrugged. "Guess I'm like all the other poor bastards stuck in this shithole...Jude. But you...I never expected to see you back here. Not now. Not like this."

"Frank, God rest yar soul." She embraced him. It took an awkward moment, but he embraced her back. "What about Claire, Frank? Yar wife? You could be with her! Frank you've got nothing to atone for here!"

He held her suddenly at arms length. "I don't think it's that simple." Shook his head. "Besides. I can't leave them here."

"Who?"

"You know." He gestured to nothing. "Little Sister. Shelley. The Monsignor."

Jude's head spun suddenly. She held Frank's arm for support. "The Monsignor?"

"Yeah. Poor bastard. He can't handle this shit."

She stepped back. Sat on a step, cradling her forehead for a moment, pushing away the anger, the hurt, the images, and shamefully (sadly) the concern. "Where are they?"

Frank looked up and around loosely. "Meh. You never really know. The Monsignor stays in his office and chambers mostly. Or the chapel. Shelley wanders around kind of -"

"Where is Mary Eunice? Have you seen her today?"

"Nah. Not today. But she avoids me, anyway. Go figure." He regarded her for a moment. "Is that why you're here, Sistah? For Mary Eunice?"

"Apparently, I'm here for all of ya." Jude stood, feeling tired already. "But I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do with ya."

"What can I do to help, Sistah?"

Jude raised her arms in a helpless, dismissive shrug. "I dunno Frank. I suppose just...tell them I'm here if you see 'em. So it won't be such a surprise."

"Will you be in your office?"

"Not if I can help it." She was already walking away. "Guess I'll be wandering, too, for a while."

"Jude." She paused, looked back at him over her shoulder. His face was half in darkness. "Ya gotta watch out for the shadows."

Now she turned fully toward him, a brow wondering. "The shadows?"

"Scares the hell out of Little Sister. And Shelley." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Me, too, honestly."

"What are they?"

"I don't know." He winced, remembering an encounter. "They're just...shadows. Maybe people once? Maybe patients? They kinda creep up on ya. Get in ya head." A shiver. "We don't usually see 'em during the day, but ya never know. Just run if you see 'em. And call me, 'kay?"

Jude felt a chill herself. "Sure thing, Frank." His keys rung as he walked away.

The common room hadn't changed, other than being cleaner than she remembered. The jukebox was still there. She smirked at it, brushed fingers across it as she passed. It whirred to life.

Chain chain chain

Chain of fools

She bobbed her head as she explored the abandoned room, picturing faces. Kit Walker (her heart warmed). Lana Banana. The Mexican. Margaret. Kevin. Milton. Dolly. Clyde. All ghosts now, she supposed. But gone. Not here. Not trapped. Good for them.

For five long years

I thought you were my man

But I found out, I'm just a link in your chain

There was a pack of cigarettes abandoned on a table beneath this window. Jude lit one, looking through the glass and grating onto the grounds.

Oh, you got me where you want me

I ain't nothin' but your fool

Ya treated me mean

Oh you treated me cruel

Lowly, she sung along to the lyrics, staring out at a misty day. And there, just beyond the tree line - a black streak ducked under a low limb, making its way toward the kitchen entrances. She squinted, remembering Frank's words, but a flash of white reassured her this was no shadow. Her hand slapped against the window. Cold hope. "Mary Eunice!" Knowing the nun couldn't hear her, she turned to make for the kitchens, but drew up short and with a sharp shriek as she nearly slammed into "Shelley!"

"Yeah. Shelley."

Chain chain chain

Chain of fools

The blonde patient was exactly as Jude remembered her, as well. Head half shaved, gown askew. And she looked particularly...pissed off. Jude had to step back as Shelley stepped forward, a rough poke to the shoulder. "And just where the fuck have you been, Sister Holier than Thou? Huh? Where've you been while we've been rotting in this hell?!"

Jude grabbed the hand that was about to poke her again. "Shelley, stop."

Every chain has got a weak link

I might be weak child, but I'll give you strength

Oh, babe

"Or what? Huh?" Another step forward and Jude was backed against the window. "You'll lock me solitary?" Shelley scoffed. "Shave something else? Or my favorite: how about a nice firm caning for old time's sake, Judy? Show me what you got."

You told me to leave you alone

"I'm here to help you, Shelley." Jude raised a hand between them. "Listen ta me -"

My father said come on home

Shelley slapped the hand away. Jude was surprised the blow stung. "You have no right to walk in here like some fucking merciful savior. You of all people. The most hypocritical -"

"Take it easy, Shelley," Jude felt her own ire firing.

My doctor said 'Take it easy'

"Take this easy, bride of Lies!" And Shelley landed a solid blow. Jude saw it coming, but could only turn her head. Her wimple and hair absorbed most of the blow. The black fabric knocked loose, obscuring her vision. She tossed it aside with malice.

Oh but your lovin is just too strong

She never would have imagined such strength in herself. Both hands pressed hard to Shelley's sternum, sent the woman toppling over a table, awkwardly sprawled over a chair. "I told ya to take it easy, Shelley." She stood over the ex-patient, catching breath, shaking with anger and...something else.

I'm added to your chain chain chain

But Shelley did not take it easy. Instead, she blew hair from her eyes, smirked murder, and flung herself into Jude's legs with a wail. Jude felt it best to simply go with the fall. She imagined leaping into the lagoon near her cabin, and when they slammed into the jukebox, she almost heard a splash... And the music switched with a loud skip.

Cause now it's Judy's turn to cry

Judy's turn to cry

Judy's turn to cry

Cause Johnny's come back

To me!

She managed to grab hold of Shelley's hair, wrenched her head back. "Shelley, I don't wanna beat yar ass today. But I will, I swear ta god." She tasted a little blood in her mouth.

Shelley was swatting backward, trying to dislodge the nun, grunting. "One more fucking person beating my ass in this place isn't a surprise, bitch!" She managed to get hold of Jude's hair, fisting and twisting the curls until Jude screamed at the pain. "You have no idea what I went through in this hell hole and I'm still here rotting for Frank to tell me YOU'VE shown up to save me?! What a fucking JOKE!" And she flipped the taller woman with ease.

Awww when Judy left with Johnny at my party

And came back wearing his ring

I sat down and cried my eyes out

Now that was a foolish thing

But Jude still had a hair grip of her own, and Shelley wailed as she was pulled to the ground as well. Head on the floor, she sobbed while Jude tried to catch her breath. Neither woman willing to release their grips, Jude simply let her wrist twist a shank as she rose to her knees. "You fucking psycho," she muttered. Spat a little blood. Controlled the tears in her own eyes, head still held close to Shelley's. "You think I wanted to come back here for yar sorry ass? I had perfect peace! Perfect peace that I walked away from -"

"Like you walked away from us!" Shelley pushed up, too, arm shaking bracing herself, face so close it nearly touched Jude's. "You shoulda kept your perfect peace, Judy. Cuz we're beyond it, and you're wasting your fucking time!"

Well it hurt me so to see them dance together

I felt like making a scene

Then my tears just fell like rain drops

Cause Judy's smile was so mean

"You're not beyond anything, you stupid little slut! So you're either gonna help me help you, or I'm gonna kill your dead ass again right here and now!"

"Try it!" Shelley suddenly released Jude's hair, scrampled away out of Jude's clutch and up to shaky feet. "Do me a fucking favor! After what you sent that monster Arden to do to me! And your pocket priest and your little penguin minion?!"

Cause now it's Judy's turn to cry

Judy's turn to cry

Judy's turn to cry

Cause Johnny's come back

To me!

"Goddammit Shelley I don't know what Arden did to you! Or - or Monsignor Howard!" She rose, too, feeling bruises starting to form. "But you don't know what they did to me, either. And I assure you we're on even ground there."

They breathed heavily, facing off. "I don't believe you." Shelley panted. "How can you not know? Every decision in this hell box was yours."

"Not true!" Jude shouted. Her fists clenched in anger and she staggered toward the patient, Shelley standing her ground. "I ended up in this hell box just like you, Shelley."

Oh one night I saw them kissing at a party

So i kissed some other guy

Johnny jumped up and he hit him

Cause he still loves me that's why

Shelley shook her head. "No way."

"Talk ta me." Jude said, raising her hands.

So now it's Judy's turn to cry

Judy's turn to cry

Judy's turn to cry

Cause Johnny's come back

To me!

Shelley struggled. She looked to the door, looked back to Jude. But her hands relaxed at her side. "I don't trust you."

Jude laughed ironically. "I'll just have to make you trust me, then. Earn it. Right?"

"Why?"

Fight out of her, Jude fell exhausted on a nearby couch. She gestured to the table near Shelley. "Pass those smokes, will ya?" Shelley didn't move. "Oh, come on. Smoke with a nun. Live a little, Shelley." She patted the stained cushion beside herself. "It'll be fun and enlightening. I promise. If you don't like what I have ta say, we can resume our rousing bout of fisticuffs, and I'll defenistrate a nymphomaniac."

Shelley was slowly approaching, still cautious. "What does defenistrate mean?"

"Sit down, or I'll show you."

Shelley seemed to find wisdom in those words and sat. As far from Jude on the couch as possible. Jude tossed the cigarettes at her. "Ow!" She caught the box against her chest.

"Now." Jude offered a light. Shelley hesitated before leaning forward and accepting, eyes never leaving Jude's. "Tell me what Arden did to ya."

"That fucking lunatic cut my legs off! Injected me with something! Then your pet nun put me out in the woods to die like a dog. I crawled off somehow, hoping someone would just...help me." She flicked ashes onto the floor. A grunt. "No such luck. I ended up back here. Freak that I was."

Jude listened, not with surprise. "I'm sorry, Shelley."

Shelley's lip curled. "Doubtful. Know what your boyfriend did?"

Jude's jaw clenched. "The Monsignor was far from my boyfriend."

"Oh come on. Everybody knew you worshiped the ground he walked on. Practically licked his boots like you were in heat."

"What did he do?" Jude's eyes narrowed. She ignored Shelley's insults. Not important. What was important was that she detected no falsehood.

"He murdered me," Shelley whispered. "Wrapped his fucking rosary around my neck and -" She made a sudden strangling sound.

Jude cringed. Her eyes stung and she looked away. "I'm sorry for that, too."

"So now I get to wander these hallowed halls for all eternity, I guess." Another flick. Jude was quiet, so she continued. "Every now and then, I see him. Staring at me from some doorway like a the guilty son of a bitch he is. If I try to confront him, he runs scared. A cowardly dog." She regarded Jude boldly. "Still wanna be his bird?"

Jude's eyes flicked up, registering shock for a second. But she shook her head. "My purely professional relationship with Monsignor Howard ended...abruptly, shall we say." Flick. "In a way, he murdered me, too, Shelley."

"In a way..."

Jude leaned forward. "After Arden and the...demon living in Mary Eunice fried my brains, yar favorite priest locked me away in the holiest of holes here. Took away my name. My dignity. My faith. Everything."

"You died here, too?"

"No." Jude stomped her cigarette. "I was saved. Redeemed. I guess that's why I'm the one who gets to be here now." She gestured grandly. "Ta-da! Yar rescue party!"

Shelley blinked a few times, waiting. "So...what do you do? To get me out?"

Jude's arms fell. "I don't rightly know yet."

"Pffft." Shelley tossed her cigarette butt over her shoulder. "Some fucking rescue party."

Jude scowled. Thought a moment. "Ya have yar legs back, I see."

Shelley looked down at them. "Yeah. I guess that's one good thing."

"Want yar hair back?"

Suspicion. "Yeah?"

Jude leaned forward again. "Picture it in yar head. Howevah you want it. Good?" A nod. "Close yar eyes. Make it happen." She watched Shelley's eyes clench closed tightly. Waited. "Ok. You can open them now. There's no timer."

Shelley opened her eyes. Reached up to find a full head of sleek, shoulder length blonde hair. Her expression was mystified. "Did you do that?"

"You did that." Jude pointed. "Why don't ya change out of that disgusting gown?" Shelley clenched her eyes again and Jude chuckled. "Don't strain yourself. It's not a bowel movement."

Shelley looked down to find herself in a long, swirl skirt. A bohemian peasant blouse. Strings of glass and wooden beads.

"Nice."

"Holy shit," Shelley breathed slowly.

"Nah, I don't see a rosary in there," Jude commented.

Shelley stared at her, gaping. "Did you just...make a joke?"

Jude shrugged. "I got jokes."

"What else can I do?" Shelley asked excitedly. "Can I just...close my eyes and be in Paris?"

"No." Jude shook her head. "That's the part we have to work on." She rubbed at the side of head where Shelley had wrenched her hair. "If Paris is yar peace, Shelley. I'm sure we can get ya there. We just have to...work on it. Figure it out together."

"What about food?"

"What about it?"

"Like...if I just want a big plate of cheese and crackers."

"Sounds delicious."

Shelley blinked more easily this time. Cheese and crackers were on the coffee table. "Amazing." She moved the plate between them. "Want some?"

They shared cheese and crackers. Quietly chewing for a moment. Jude blinked. Reached behind her and extracted a pint of bourbon. "Hm?" She offered the bottle to Shelley. They shared that, too, sipping right from the bottle. "And how about some music?" Jude asked. "Too quiet in here."

Shelley considered for a moment. Blinked. The Marvelettes:

Wait!

Oh yeah wait a minute Mr. Postman

Jude grinned. "I love this song!" She gave an appreciative clap and stood, swaying a little. Shelley watched her, alternately amazed and amused. Jude looked down at herself. Blinked. "Much better."

Shelley whistled at the purple swing dress and heels. "Watch out there, sister!"

(Is there a letter in your bag for me) Please, Please Mister Postman

(Why's it been a very long time) Oh yeah

(Since I heard from this boyfriend of mine)

Jude gestured to Shelley. "C'mere."

"Unbefuckinglievable," Shelley muttered. But she rose, more than happy to dance with this new and improved Sister Jude. They were a little awkward at first, the two women bent on destroying each other only moments earlier. But it was a great song, and soon they sang together, falling into step beside each other.

There must be some word today

From my boyfriend so far away

Please Mister Postman, look and see

Is there a letter, a letter for me

Shelley kicked the volume up a notch, eased a little closer to Jude and bumped her hip. "I'm not into chicks or anything, Sister. But...You could smoke a ham with that body."

Jude laughed. "Yar not so bad yourself, Shelley. Now that ya got a full head of hair, at least."

"Hey!" But Shelley was smiling.

I've been standin' here waitin' Mister Postman

So patiently, for just a card, or just a letter

Sayin' he's returnin' home to me

Please Mister Postman (Mister Postman, look and see) Oh yeah

"Hey!" The women turned from their dance to see Frank standing in the door. "What the hell is going on in here?!" He squinted. "Shelley?"

The music stopped abruptly. "Hi, Frank."

"What the hell are you wearing?" He was approaching them. "And who the hell is -" He froze a few feet away. "Sistah Jude?"

"Hi, Frank."

A sharp exhale and Frank removed his cap, scratching his head. "Aye, aye, aye..." He replaced his cap. "I can hear that music box all the way in the kitchens. Keep it down." Jude was fighting a smile, but Shelley looked at her feet. "And...Shelley, ya oughta be in your gown."

"But!" Shelley looked up now, ready to defend. "Judy taught me this!"

"Taught you what?"

Jude stepped forward. "Frank."

"Sistah..." He struggled a moment. "Where's ya...where's ya habit?"

"I broke the habit," she replied quickly. "Sit down, Frank. I think things will be secure long enough for us to...chat." She turned to their couch. "And we've got cheese and crackers and...well, there's a little bourbon left."

Frank was staring at the seams up the backs of her stockings. "Bourbon is contraband," he murmured.

"So are those legs," Shelley hissed in his ear.

Jude resumed her place on the couch. "Frank. Some rules are going to change around here."

"Oh?" He finally sat, looking only slightly uncomfortable.

Shelley perched on the arm of the couch behind Jude. She produced another pack of cigarettes, lit two at once and passed one to Jude. Jude propped her feet on the coffee table. "Thanks, Shelley."

Frank chewed a cracker. Took a swig of bourbon. Looked at Jude and shrugged gamely. "Welcome back, boss."