I rest my chin on my hand, staring at my computer screen as I pick out my classes for next semester. My mind barely processes the words I read on the screen as I scroll through the options.

It's almost a relief when there's a knock at the door.

That split-second relief from not having to concentrate evaporates when I see Archer. Without saying anything, I attempt to swing the door shut, but he catches it with his hands and easily pushes it back open.

"Come on in, I guess," I say curtly when he walks in and sits on my bed. I sit back down at my desk and pretend to be captivated by my computer screen. "I'm busy."

"No, you're not."

"You're right, I'm not. I just want you to leave," I bite out, closing my laptop and turning toward him with an impatient look on my face. My phone buzzes with a text but I ignore it. "You all lied to me."

He breathes out. "We didn't lie to you."

"Yes, you did. You all did," I say. "This whole time, you all knew exactly where Dani got the drugs the first time, and none of you thought to tell me. My own family."

"I thought we should tell you," he says, matching my volume. "In the beginning, when we saw how hard you took Dani's overdose, I agreed that we should wait to tell you about Jack's part in it. But after I found out that you and Jack were involved, I made sure that Jack knew that I disapproved of him keeping it from you."

I stare at him for a second. "All those terrible things you said about him . . . about him not being who I thought he was . . ."

He looks relieved that I've connected the dots, that he can finally be truthful with me. "It was about this," he explains. He drops his gaze to his lap, shaking his head. "At first, I thought . . . I thought that Jack wanted to keep this from you because he didn't want you to be overwhelmed. But when I found he liked you as much as he did, it started to seem like he was lying just so he didn't lose you."

My throat begins to burn as I contemplate why the hell Jack would keep something like this from me. "What about Mom and Dad? Dani? How could they . . ."

"Scar, you have to understand that no one blames Jack. The only thing I can hold against him is that he didn't tell you sooner," he explains. "So Mom and Dad . . . even though they didn't blame him, I think they knew that you would blame him if you knew. Even Dani thought it would be better to not have you know."

I remember how self-loathsome and confused I was after Dani's overdose, and it muddles my mind to even think of how much more confused I would have been if I'd known about Jack's involvement. What he's saying makes sense, but knowing that my family collectively kept this huge secret from me still hurts.

For a fraction of a second, I even think of whether Jack and I ever would have dated if I'd known what he'd done.

"I just need to be alone right now," I say quietly, still not looking at him. "You can't understand the confusion that comes with knowing your entire family lied to you."

"We didn't lie to you, Scar. We were trying to protect you—"

"By lying to me," I finish for him. "Yeah, I get it."

Archer scoffs. "What's gotten into you? You weren't like this when you left a few days ago. Why are you mad now, huh? When did you start calling us all liars?"

"When I realized that I shouldn't be so quick to believe everything others tell me," I say. "Hard to know who to trust."

Archer leans back on the bed and looks at me like he's seeing a stranger. "So you don't trust me anymore? Or anyone in our family? I've tried explaining why we did what we did."

"All I'm hearing is that you all decided what was best for me without even acknowledging how I might feel," I say, remembering what Levi said at The Bunker. They didn't respect me enough to tell me, so why should I give them the time of day?

When he doesn't respond, I turn to him and realize he's giving me a long look. "What happened to you?" He finally says. "Since New Year's Eve, you won't answer Mom and Dad's calls. You're mad at everyone, even Dani. She was in the hospital, and you're ignoring her. When did you get like this?"

I don't know, I want to say, but my mouth won't break the seal. I don't know how any of this happened. Instead, I just say, "I just need to be alone right now. Okay?" I say, tiredness lacing my quiet voice.

But my brother doesn't move, and I feel his stare linger on me. I sit back at my desk and open my laptop, ignoring him.

"If you're gonna lose trust in anyone, it should be that Levi kid. Not us," he says, still standing behind me. "Are you still talking to him?"

I don't want to keep entertaining Archer by answering his questions, but I can't help myself. "Why do you even care?" Then sarcastically, I add, "Did he happen to know about Jack and Dani too? Seems like everyone knew besides me."

"I think he knows a lot more than he lets on. And I don't trust him," Archer says vaguely. "And I don't think you should either."

I scoff. "Just because you were hiding a secret from me doesn't mean Levi is too," I fire back. "And unlike you guys, he didn't make me feel crazy for being upset over being kept in the dark for over a year. So yeah, maybe I trust him a bit more than the people who lied to me."

"That's what you're calling your family now? Just 'people'?" Archer repeats. "You've cut off your entire family, and now you're listening to the guy that made a short film about our family's trauma and kissed another girl in front of you. Come on, Scarlett."

"What are you trying to say?" I bite out, staring at my laptop. "Because you're really wasting my time right now bringing up all this bullshit."

"I'm saying that if you're going to start questioning everyone around you, start with him. I mean, how much do you know about the guy? Besides that he enjoys making out with other girls and doesn't like talking about his past," he answers. "You heard him around the campfire. He's a pro at avoiding questions."

"You don't even know him."

"Exactly! And I'm sure you don't either." Archer pauses as if contemplating whether he should go on. "Can you even say for certain that he wasn't the one that put the bag in the piano?"

I bolt up and swivel to face him, feeling like I've been slapped in the face by his accusation. "What did you just say?"

Archer rolls his neck impatiently. "Don't tell me you haven't asked yourself where that fucking bag came from. Who's to say it wasn't the complete stranger you invited into our house over Thanksgiving Break?"

If he's trying to make me angry, it's working. "Who's to say it wasn't your saint of a best friend. Or ex-best friend, I should say," I spit, rendering Archer silent. I doubt he's even considered that possibility before.

"Like I said," I continue, reveling in the fact that he has nothing left to say, "just because you all lied to me doesn't mean Levi is too. I wouldn't have told you about me and Levi if I knew you'd use our relationship against me. So from now on, stay out of my fucking business."

I sit back down victoriously, waiting to hear the door shut behind him. But I don't even hear him move. I sigh, wondering what the hell he wants now.

"Something's changed in you, Scar," he says quietly, and all the anger has left his voice. Now he sounds almost . . . sad. "I don't even recognize you anymore."

Before I can respond to his outrageous statement, the door slams shut, and I'm alone again.

I don't even turn around to acknowledge his exit; I just stare back at the computer screen, attempting to finish what I'd sat down to do. But my mind is still stuck on Archer's words, unable to focus on picking out my classes for next semester.

Archer doesn't know what he's talking about; I know Levi just as well as he knows me. He's from Virginia. He used to play tennis but quit because of how much he hated it. He has a brother. And his parents are . . . not in the picture?

I think back to all my previous conversations with Levi, realizing that he has never really mentioned much about his parents. I tell myself that this is because they didn't treat him or his brother very well, but a nagging part of me can't help but dwell on the unknown.

Levi doesn't owe me anything, I repeat to myself. His past is his to disclose.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to see what information is available about Levi online. I tell myself that this isn't prying; this is just research. Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I type into my computer's search engine.

Levi Easton

A million results pop up concerning a million different Levi Eastons. It takes a bit of combing, but I find a few articles about my Levi, all written in the past two years. They're all about his band: nothing about his life before college.

My cheek starts to hurt as I type in Levi's hometown along with his name.

Levi Easton Arlington Virginia

That narrows down the search results, but this time, none of them are the Levi I'm looking for. There is no information on Levi in his hometown. Weird. Confused and feeling increasingly guilty for digging so deep, I close out the tab and lean back in my seat.

My phone buzzes with yet another text, but I ignore it, invested in the task before me. I sit back up straight and type in my own name and hometown, just to see if my search engine is working properly.

Immediately, articles concerning the dance awards I received pop up, along with a few pages listing some of my academic achievements. National Merit Semifinalist. Sophomore Class Treasurer. Regional Second Place Soloist. Etc. Etc.

I try Dani's name and our hometown, and even more pages pop up, all mentioning her endless academic awards, dance achievements, chess championships, or math competitions.

So the search engine isn't the problem. So why isn't anything on Levi before college coming up?

Coming up blank on ideas, I get the idea to try one more name. A name I shouldn't even be thinking about.

Slowly, I type in Jack's name and our hometown, not even knowing what I'm expecting to find. Definitely articles mentioning his basketball career. But other than that, I don't know why I'm curious to look up his name.

Just as I predicted, I see several articles published by various news outlets in our hometown, congratulating him for committing to a D1 basketball team and even tracking his college performance. Jack has always been somewhat of a star in our hometown, loved for his athletic abilities and universal charisma. It's no surprise that that hasn't worn off since he left for college.

I'm about to exit out of the tab when I spot a startling search result. An obituary. I click without thinking. My eyes scan the article, posted a week ago.

Dillon West passed away unexpectedly this past Thursday due to heart complications. Dillon was born in Asheville, North Carolina, and was a beloved father, husband, friend, and son. He is survived by his wife, Pamela, and his son, Ryland. He is also survived by his daughter and son from a previous marriage, Haley Menza and Jack Griffin.

My whole body freezes. Jack's dad passed away? Does Jack know?

Immediately, I log into Facebook and search for Dillon West. Scrolling through his page, sure enough, his last activity was about one week ago, and his feed is littered with tearful messages from friends and family.

What a wonderful soul, taken too soon. Rest in peace, Dillon.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever—Psalm 73:26

RIP to a great man

Heaven got a good one

Pushing aside every terrible thing Jack's father has done, I can't stop the flood of sadness that rushes through me at this news. Despite their terrible relationship and estrangement, I know this news will devastate Jack if he doesn't know already.

As I feel for Jack and his family, my eyes linger on the messages.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever—Psalm 73:26

A Bible verse.

Leviticus.

Leviticus is Levi's full name.

Of course, how could I have forgotten? Why didn't I think of searching his full name?

Not getting my hopes up, I type Leviticus Easton into the search engine again, leaving out the hometown this time. My mind spins with intrigue when three pages of results come up. I smile as I scan through a few articles describing Levi's tennis achievements, his rise up the USTA youth rankings. Judging from the sheer number and depth of these articles centered on him, Levi really wasn't joking when he said tennis was his whole life.

He was really good. Like, on-track-to-be-a-professional-athlete good.

I'm still in shock by Levi's talent when I come across an article that really knocks the breath from my lungs.

PARENTS STILL REELING FROM DEATH OF FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD SON AS TOWN SEEKS ANSWERS

I click on the search result and read as fast as I can, confused by what I'm seeing.

Ezekial Easton, son of Leslie and Jeremiah Easton, was found unconscious in his bedroom early Wednesday Morning by his older brother, Leviticus. The eighteen-year-old reports waking up to a strange noise coming from his younger brother's room and--

I tear my eyes from the article when I hear my dorm door swing open. My eyes wide with surprise, I come face-to-face with Levi.

"Hey, Crimson. You busy?" he says, flashing me a lazy smile. "You've been ignoring my texts. I was trying to talk to you about coordinating our classes. Looking forward to another semester of annoying you in class."

My tongue feels thick in my mouth, whether from guilt or surprise. Sitting on my bed, he squints at my computer screen. His smile wanes as he sits up to get a better look. "What're you reading?"

♔

voting

jack

levi

thought corner

1. What do you think of Archer's reasoning about why they kept the secret about Dani and Jack from Scarlett?

2. Does Archer have any reason to distrust Levi? Should Scarlett listen to him?

3. Should Scarlett have researched Levi online? What do you think Levi's reaction will be?

♔