I get to class before Levi for the first time ever, and I'm more nervous than I've ever been. We haven't seen each other since the kiss outside the dance studio, and I'm anxious, wondering if the dynamic between us has been irreparably damaged.

My mind takes me through a slideshow of the worst-case scenarios: Levi regretting everything, Levi ignoring me, Levi leaving the country so he doesn't ever have to see me again.

Maybe I should leave the country first to beat him to the punch. Or I could just sit down.

I slide into my usual seat. Every time the door opens, my heartbeat picks up. So when the door opens and Levi actually walks through, I feel like I'm having a heart attack. But then he flashes me a calm smile, and I force myself to talk a few deep breaths.

He sits next to me. "Sad that our time together is coming to an end?" He asks.

"What?" I say, taken back.

Levi smiles, sensing my panic. He nods toward the front of the classroom. "Semester ends soon. We'll have new classes after Christmas Break."

I let out a breath. "Oh, yeah. I don't know what I was thinking," I say, straightening out my thoughts. Then I add, "And I'm not that sad. I won't ever have to see you again."

His eyebrows lift in amusement. "Really? You don't think I'm irreplaceable?"

I smile and nod. "I'll just find a new mysterious guy to annoy and steal pens from."

Levi drags his hand through his dark hair. "I don't think you'll need to steal pens from anyone else," he says. Before I can ask what he means, he reaches into his backpack and pulls out a half-empty package of black pens. The same pens he's been using and lending me this whole semester.

He reads the confusion on my face and explains, "I bought them when I realized you couldn't keep track of a pen to save your life. I really hope no one ever puts you in charge of children. Or pets."

I pick up the pack of pens and examine them. "You bought them . . . just to give to me every week?" I ask, still in shock. When I look back up at him, he looks almost shy about the admission, keeping his eyes trained on the pens instead of me. I push them back toward him. "But if you give these to me, what will you spin between your fingers during class?" I ask. "You need something to fuel your habit."

Levi looks at me for a second, processing my question. Then he braces his hands behind his head, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. "Habit?" He asks, laughing. "Spinning my pens?"

I nod slowly, wondering if he's messing with me. "Yeah. You do it all the time," I answer. "When you're bored, I guess."

He looks back at me, a smile still playing on his face. "It's not exactly a habit," he explains. I quirk my eyebrow, intrigued. He rubs the back of his neck, thinking. "I mean, I guess it could be considered a nervous habit."

"A nervous habit?" I think back to the first time I saw him twirl his pens and realize it was on the first day we met. I thought he hated me back then.

Levi nods, still looking shyer than I've ever seen. "I honestly didn't know I've been doing it until a few seconds ago," he laughs. "Do I really do it that often?"

I nod, laughing too. "Yeah, definitely."

He rubs his face in his hands, groaning. "I did it a lot when I was younger. I thought I'd gotten past it but . . . apparently not. God, you really bring out the worst in me, Crimson."

"The worst?" I shrug. "I think it's kind of cute. In a nerdy kind of way."

He feigns offense. "You think I'm nerdy? That was probably the most offensive way you could've described me."

"Are you going to cry into your pillow about it?" I frown, making fun of him. "Eat some ice cream?"

"You know what? Maybe I will," he says, and I laugh, covering my mouth to keep the noise down. He smiles at my reaction and keeps going. "Not in that order, though. Ice cream then pillow," he adds in a serious tone that makes me laugh even harder. He thinks for a second. "Then I think I'll yank one out just for good measure. Something to really take the edge off."

"You're disgusting," I say, covering my reddening face. Now the image of him . . . doing that last thing . . . is seared into my mind. I need to reverse the conversation topic. "Besides, I said the pen twirling was cute. And there's nothing wrong with being nerdy," I say defensively.

"You're right," he admits. He looks down at my crossed legs, reaching his hand down. I hold my breath until he just touches the edge of my maroon and white plaid skirt. He toys with the fabric between his fingers for a second, smiling to himself. "You have that nerdy cute thing going on too, you know. You wear this skirt a lot. I like it."

So he notices what I wear. I guess I do wear this skirt often. We both stare at where his fingers are touching my clothes, grazing the skin of my thigh slightly.

"You like the whole schoolgirl look?" I tease, rolling my eyes. "You might want to tread lightly here. Your weird kinks are already showing."

"I like it on you," he says teasingly. Then he moves his face closer and drops his voice. "And when I do let you in on what I like in bed, I assure you that you won't be complaining."

If I wasn't already flustered before, I sure am now. "I probably won't be complaining. I'll be too busy screaming in terror."

He smirks. "Oh, you'll be screaming, that's for sure."

I turn away, my face heating up.

When neither of us says anything, I can't help but think back to him pressing me up against the wall and kissing me until my lips felt like they might bleed. His hands around my wrists, the words he whispered in my ear. If that's what he's like when he's just kissing me, I can't even imagine what he'd be like when . . .

My skin feels hot beneath his hand. In fact, my skin feels hot everywhere.

Levi breaks the barrier, not by saying anything, but by sliding his hand from my skirt and right onto my thigh, applying slight pressure with his strong fingers. Heat spreads up from the area of contact, and I look down at his hand, at a loss for words for some reason. My breath hitches when I look back up and catch his brown eyes on mine.

It occurs to me that I've gone from nervous to flustered in less than five minutes. All because of Levi.

"Am I making you nervous, Crimson?" He asks with a familiar teasing note in his voice that puts me at ease. "Do you want me to move my hand?" He starts moving his hand away from my leg.

I don't get a chance to answer, because Professor Pavil stands up at the front and starts his announcements. "We'll be watching The Godfather for the remaining class time since all your grades are already in," he says. "I'll be turning off the lights, so whatever you choose to do in the dark, just make sure that I can't hear you."

I swear he looks straight at me and Levi when saying that last part. Levi laughs next to me, and I realize that I'll miss this class for more reasons than one.

Pavil turns off the lights, starts the movie, and sits down at his desk, putting a sleeping mask over his eyes and kicking his feet up on the desk. I think I even see him put in a pair of AirPods.

With that insanely sexual moment between me and Levi cut short, I try to comprehend what's happening right now. It feels so thrilling—this thing that's growing between us—but it also feels like it's going very fast.

Levi's fingertips still linger on my skin. Without saying a word, I move my hand up, lacing my fingers into his. Then I pull our clasped hands into my lap, covering it with my other hand. "You do make me nervous," I say, answering his earlier question. "But in a good way. I think."

He raises an eyebrow. "What else do I make you feel?"

"Honestly? Kind of scared."

"In a good way, I hope."

I smile. "Yes, in a good way. Like I'm about to go skydiving. Or swim with a dolphin."

"Well, I'd hope I'm more attractive company than a dolphin."

"Just barely," I say. "Did you know that dolphins actually aren't as cute as they seem? They're known to hump humans."

"Then I guess I have more in common with dolphins than I thought."

I place a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing too loud. I look down and see Levi's thumb moving across the back of my hand, laced through his. I'm both elated and terrified by the fact that we're joking as if nothing has changed. When in reality, everything has changed.

I do feel like I'm about do go skydiving. But without a parachute.

Levi and I are basically shoulder-to-shoulder, and our hands are still in my lap. "Tired?" he asks when I yawn. I nod, attributing it to the dark room and smooth voices in the movie. "Because of dance, right?"

I turn my head toward him, and there's a serious expression etched into his features. "No," I say firmly. I feel a tinge of irritation toward him for bringing it up, reminding me of the fact that I haven't been able to dance since before Thanksgiving. "Not everything in my life is about dance."

"So you weren't dancing for hours yesterday?" He asks.

"No, I wasn't," I say firmly, pulling my hand from his. He takes the hint and removes the hand from my lap.

"Can we just watch the movie?" I say curtly, crossing my arms over my chest. Levi opens his mouth, contemplating replying, but ends up just turning toward the screen and leaning back in his chair. I do the same.

We spend a while like that, not talking or even acknowledging each other for the rest of class. The movie plays in front of us, but I'm sure that neither of us are paying much attention. Even though the conversation has ended, my mind is still working a mile a minute, centered on him.

With the thrill of the flirting gone, I feel too much to comprehend. Irritated. Confused.

When the hour-and-a-half is up, I pick up my backpack and longboard and start leaving, unsure of how else to proceed. I don't wait for him, though I hear him follow closely behind me. I expect him to come up and walk beside me or call my name.

Instead, all he says is, "Zeke." I stop and turn to him, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

The hallway outside the classroom is emptying, so Levi leans against the wall and crosses his arms. "The other day. You said you didn't know my brother's name. Zeke," he explains. "Short for—"

"Ezekial," I say for him before realizing how rude that must've been. "I'm sorry, I just—"

He laughs quietly. "No, no, you're right. Good job knowing your books of the Bible."

I play with the hem of my skirt, not knowing what to say to that. I realize this must be a big step for him to take, telling me this. I think for a second. "Is Levi—"

"—short for Leviticus," he says, nodding slowly. "Yeah, my parents really wanted to be unique. Went for Ezekial and Leviticus over the traditional Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. Even Micah or Ezra would've been a step up from the mouthful they cursed me with."

I imagine his name as Matthew or Micah and cringe inwardly. "No, I like Levi. It fits you."

"Glad one of us thinks so."

Then I remember what Kato said on Thanksgiving about Levi. "And you play tennis," I say, testing his reaction.

It's not good. He runs a hand through his hair. "I used to," he clarifies, and I know I've hit a sore spot again. I remember what he said on the way to Thanksgiving: In all honesty it's embarrassing, and I try my best to forget about it. "I haven't played in years."

I don't tell him that I don't find it embarrassing at all. He doesn't say anything further, and I can't bring myself to say anything either even though I'm dying to know more. The conversation fizzles out, and I drop my gaze to the hallway floor.

Though I wish he hadn't ruined the moment by mentioning dance, this is new for both of us. The question is: where do we go from here?

"What is this? Because in that one class, you made me feel probably every single emotion possible. I feel like I got whiplash just talking to you," I say honestly. We're the only ones in the hallway now. All the confusion from the past few days comes crashing down to this moment. "What are we doing here, Levi? Are we just messing around? Or is this something more?"

He smiles, uncrossing his arms to run his hand through his hair. "I don't really know yet. All I know is that I want to be with you," he says.

He always makes it sound so simple as if wanting to be with one another is enough to sustain a relationship. "That's great, and I think I feel the same way about you—"

"Then what's the problem?" He asks, holding my eyes with his. "If this is about Jack, I wouldn't consider that a problem at all."

"There isn't really a problem. And why do you always have to bring Jack into things?" I say. "I just broke up with him, and I don't think I can just jump into anoth—"

He steps closer to me. "You broke up with Jack?" He doesn't even try to hide the happiness in his voice.

I nod my head. "Not for you specifically. I just—I don't know what I want. And I can't figure out what I want while committed to anyone," I say. "I don't want to hurt anyone again."

"Crimson, you're not gonna hurt me," he says. "Whatever being with you looks like, I'm fine with it. Slow, fast, whatever. I'm fine with anything but staying away from you."

I don't know exactly what I want, but I don't think that I want him to stay away from me. Since the beginning of the semester, Levi has become a big part of my life as a friends and I hate the thought of losing him completely.

I don't know what we are or what I want us to be, but it wouldn't hurt to see where this could go. My walls come down the tiniest bit. "Did you ever finish The Haunting of Bly Manor?" I ask, not knowing what else to say.

Levi laughs at my random question, shaking his head. "No, I haven't watched it since the last time you were over. I BS'd the rest of my analysis," he says. "Have you?"

I shake my head. Now that our feelings are out there in the open, conversations with him make me feel so much more nervous than they ever have. I want to know more about him. He's given me a taste of the deeper side of him, and I suddenly want more.

I want to bring him closer to me. I want to know more than the name of his younger brother. But right now, the lines are so blurred between how we used to be and where Levi wants us to be.

Baby steps.

"Um, would you want to come over and maybe watch it with me? Maybe tell me more about your brother, or not, if you don't want to."

"I'd like that," Levi says, putting me out of my misery. His brown eyes gleam with amusement. "Yours or mine?"

I shrug, still feeling nervous. "Yours. You have better snacks."

"Yeah, your snacks are pretty pitiful," he says, taking my hand in his. "No wonder you're so angry all the time. You're eating the kind of shit they serve to prisoners in Guantanamo Bay."

I smile, walking next to him with my longboard in one of my hands. As we push through the double doors and step outside, I look over and see that he only has his backpack. "Did hell freeze over? The skater boy didn't skateboard to class today?" I ask.

"No. One: I'm not a skater boy," he says, nudging my shoulder with his. "Two: my board broke the other day. It's why I was late today."

"Hm," I say, considering that information. "So I guess I'll longboard and you can catch up on foot?" I tease, putting my board down and starting to get on.

Levi pulls me back from getting on the board. "Not so fast, skater girl," he says, placing his foot on the board to keep it in place. I scrunch my nose at the hijacked nickname.

"Give me your backpack," he orders.

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna rob you. Do you have to question everything?"

I do as he says. "Now get on," he adds, slinging my backpack over his shoulder and gesturing toward the skateboard.

I look up at him. "I was joking about riding it. I'm fine with walking with you."

"Hey, I'm still your skateboarding teacher. So you kind of have to do what I say," he laughs, putting his hands on my waist and lifting me onto the board. I put my hands over his, standing on it and waiting to see what he's trying to do.

I startle when Levi stands on the board behind me, making the board move under us slightly. "Oh my fuck, we're gonna fall," I say fearfully. Levi wraps his arms fully around my waist, pressing us together as close as possible. Then he uses his foot to push, and then we're moving.

"Levi, Levi, Levi," I repeat, stiff as a board and gripping his hands as hard as possible. Levi's doing all the work, holding me still, and speeding us down the walkway. I'm scared out of my mind, afraid of both of us falling. "We're gonna die, Levi."

"Don't you trust me at all?" He asks teasingly, and I shut my eyes closed. "You're fine. I got you. Look."

After we haven't crashed in the first few seconds, I peel my eyes open slowly. I'm surprised to see that it doesn't look as different as riding alone. But it feels different with Levi holding me upright, pressing tightly against me. I feel surprisingly safe with him behind me.

"This actually. . .isn't that bad," I admit, smiling as we pass by people. I laugh, not caring how stupid we look riding a longboard together. It's fun. "Have you done this before?"

"Nope. Wasn't even sure this would work," Levi admits. "Honestly, this was a pleasant surprise."

I laugh even harder. "That makes me feel a lot better about putting my safety in your hands."

"You're in good hands," he says, tightening his hold around me. I loosen my grip on him and realize the intimacy of our hands clasped together. Levi twists and turns us, but I don't feel scared at all anymore.

"Besides," he adds, "if you fall, I'll be here to catch you."

♔

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thought corner

1. Thoughts about Levi and Scarlett's relationship?

2. How do you feel about Levi opening up to Scarlett?

3. How does Scarlett's relationship with Levi compare to hers with Jack?

4. Predictions for what will happen now?

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