almost 5k freaking words. enjoy :)

also, weird note, but there are SPOILERS for the book Atonement in this chapter, so if you plan on reading it, just skip over a few paragraphs after the book is first mentioned.

♔

Over the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving Break, Jack and I spend as much time as possible together while still keeping our relationship on the down-low from everyone else. College basketball season picks up pace and Jack's pre-med course load is insane, but between study and practice, he spends what little free time he has with me.

Both of us try not to think of how little time we'll get together a few months from now when his playoffs and away-games will consume even more of his time.

When I'm not doing schoolwork, hanging with Mya or Jack, or dancing, I'm thinking of how terrible I feel about what happened between me and Levi on Halloween. He hasn't talked — or even looked — at me since. And he never answered the text I sent the day after Halloween.

I just want him to talk to me. To stop avoiding me like I actually have a disease. I want to go back to how we were before Halloween.

The week before we're off for break, I set my eyes on straightening things out with him. I get to film class as fast as possible, almost plowing over pedestrians. Levi has been making a point of getting to class early and sitting in the crowded middle of the classroom so that when I arrive, the seats around him are filled. It's a small, silent gesture that is basically a giant middle finger to me whenever I get to class.

I walk into the classroom and immediately spot him sitting right in the middle. The seats around him are filling up quickly, and I rush over to get the only available seat on his immediate right. When I'm just a few steps away, a girl starts to put her stuff down on the desk, intending to sit there. I practically jump toward the seat, moving my body between her and the chair.

"I was going to sit here," I say with an innocent smile. I put a sharp edge to my voice, determined to get this seat.

She looks at me for a few seconds, rolls her eyes, decides it's not worth her time and goes to look for another seat. I drop the smile and sit down next to Levi, who doesn't even look up. The only movement between us is the pen twirling between his fingers.

"If only she knew that your bark is far bigger than your bite," he says, still not looking at me.

I try to hide the relief from hearing him talk to me for the first time in almost a month. "Are you done giving me the silent treatment? Can we talk about what happened on Halloween like adults?"

"Scarlett," he says slowly, grasping the pen and putting it down on the desk. "Just because you've tracked me down and cornered me doesn't mean that I have to listen to you talk."

His voice is even colder than it was on Halloween, with an impatient bite to it, and I begin to lose my courage. It's weird, awkward territory that we're in right now. I press my lips together, picking my words wisely and powering forward. "Just listen. I don't know why I didn't tell you about Jack. I shouldn't have kept such a big part of my life from you. Jack and I are just . . . complicated."

"Complicated," he says, testing the word out on his tongue. "Isn't that just the perfect word." Levi lets out a quiet laugh, leaning back in his seat.

"What?" I ask, wishing he didn't have to be so rude while I'm trying to talk to him.

He shrugs and puts his hands behind his head, leaning back and flexing his arms lazily. "Crimson, I really couldn't care less about who you date," he says cooly. "I honestly didn't think Halloween was that big of a deal."

Is he serious right now? "Then why have you been ignoring me?"

"Have I?"

"Yes, you have," I say, starting to get frustrated by his nonchalant attitude. "You haven't answered my texts, and I know you've avoided sitting next to me."

"Have you considered the possibility," he says, thinking over his words for a second, "that I was just busy with other things? And that you smell a bit weird?"

I scowl at him. "Levi, I'm trying to be serious here."

He sighs and straightens in his seat. "Fine. In all seriousness, you could fuck a different person every night and I wouldn't give a shit." He looks off disinterestedly toward the front of the classroom. "And I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I did the same."

I flinch at his abrasive language. I can't tell if this conversation is going well or not. "I wouldn't," I say curtly. "You seem to have enough groupies to do so."

I regret saying it as soon as it comes out of my mouth. The self-satisfied smirk on his face is enough to make me realize how spiteful I sound. He shakes his head and picks his pen back up. "You're stalking me now?" He asks. "You're really something else, Crimson."

"I'm not stalking you," I insist. "It's just a simple observation. A friendly observation."

"A friendly observation . . . concerning my sex life?" Levi whistles. "I'd really like to know your definition of 'friendly.' Would anal sex fall into that category? Or do you draw the line at oral?" He laughs, watching my unamused face. "Not sure if I'm ready to commit to a 'friendship' with you."

I shove his arm and turn to face forward where Professor Pavil is setting up for class. "It's impossible to have a serious conversation with you." I start getting my notebook out of my backpack.

Then, of course, I can't find a single pen in my backpack. I try to dig through my stuff as discreetly as possible, not wanting Levi to feel like I need him in any way. I eventually give up and throw my backpack down, convincing myself that I can memorize whatever Pavil tells us.

If Levi doesn't want to talk through this issue as much as I do, then why should I even try?

When Levi slides his black pen in front of me, I pretend I don't see it. "Here," he says.

"No, I don't need it."

"Come on, I know you take at least twenty pages of notes every class," Levi says. "I don't even take notes."

"No. You can go back to ignoring me." I feel wound up, frustrated by this conversation not going the way I'd planned. The thing is: I don't even know how I'd planned for this conversation to go. Just . . . not like this. He's made it obvious that he simply doesn't care.

I'm still staring ahead when Pavil starts talking and Levi takes his pen back. Fine. Good riddance.

Then in my peripheral vision, I see him scrawling line after line of notes in his own notebook — the one I've hardly seen him use all semester. "What're you doing?"

He looks up at the front of the classroom before writing down what's on the board. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"You never take notes."

"But you do," he says. His handwriting is boyish and slightly messy, but it looks like he's genuinely trying to keep up with the lecture. "I don't want you to have a panic attack later over not having today's notes."

"I won't have a panic attack." Well, maybe I might've. But he doesn't need to know that. "Give me the pen."

"What? Don't think I'm doing a good job?" Levi smiles at me and hands it over. I open my notebook and start taking my own notes, ignoring the satisfied smile lingering on his face. He leans back in his chair and watches me.

"Listen, I appreciate you making an effort to talk to me," Levi finally says, low enough to not disrupt the people around us.

"You have a weird way of showing it."

"How about I show my appreciation by letting you help me finish my project?"

I drop the pen. This is just too rich. "You'll let me help you? How very kind of you, Levi."

"I know, I know. I'm quite the philanthropist," he says. "Anyway, you're my only ticket to the extra credit."

I shake my head and turn back toward the front of the classroom, where the professor is beginning to set up his lesson notes. "Is that all I'm good for?" Then I think for a second and remember that the project is due right after Thanksgiving Break. "Fuck, Levi. Have you not finished this project because you've been avoiding me?"

"Like I said, I've been busy."

His vague responses and sporadic shifts in demeanor are killing me, but I can't be the reason he doesn't get this extra credit. "We can finish it today. I'll come over this afternoon and you can get whatever content you need."

"How about on Thursday? My roommates are doing something at my place today and tomorrow."

"I can't. I'm leaving Thursday morning," I say. But there's another option. "You can come over to my place tomorrow afternoon. I don't have any roommates."

The beginnings of a smirk make their way onto his face. "You terrorize another girl to sit next to me, beg me to forgive you, then invite me to your dorm? Alone? Crimson, I'm flattered, but—"

"The offer stands for three seconds. One. Two--"

"Fine, fine. Your place." He thinks. "Does this mean you'll give me my stolen jacket back? I bet you've been hiding it under your pillow or something. That jacket cost me a lot, you know."

"Yes, you'll get your stupid jacket back." Even though, honestly, I have no idea where in my dorm the damn thing is.

"Then deal," he says. He pauses, and I know he's about to say some shit that will push another one of my buttons.

"I'm expecting complimentary snacks, by the way."

♔

I dig through a box under my bed. "This is all I have," I say, pulling out a box of high-protein bars that Archer left here a few days ago. "Sorry, my snack supply isn't as plentiful as yours."

Levi takes the box, examining it with an indecipherable look in his eyes. "I'm tempted to burn these for you. They're disgusting."

I look at the box with him. "You've had these before? Archer only eats them after his games."

"Are you kidding? They used to force me to eat these things after every—" He looks up at me, and the look disappears. He clears his throat and puts the box down, ending his thought.

"Oh, wow," I say slowly, thinking over his words. "You play a sport? Why did I not know this?"

Levi sits down in my desk chair, running his hand through his hair. "I don't play a sport, Crimson," he says like I'm insane for even suggesting it. "Now where's my jacket?"

I groan at the obvious change in subject but trudge to my closet anyway. I dig around in the bottom under all my clothes. After much digging, I finally feel the smooth leather and pull it out with an excited declaration. "Found it," I say, holding up the wadded lump victoriously.

Levi eyes the wrinkled jacket. "Glad to know it's been treated with the utmost care. Did you put it through a meat grinder?"

I unravel it and hold it up. "No, but I did run it over with my car every time you pissed me off."

"In that case, I'm surprised it's more than a pile of scraps."

I smile and lay it on my bed, smoothing it out with my hands. "Nothing a little tender loving care can't fix."

Levi leans over and picks it up. "I think your tender loving care has done enough damage." He examines his jacket further. "If this is how you treat things you love, I wonder how Bunny Boy is still in one piece."

The conversation halts at the mention of Jack — not to mention, Levi's unflattering nickname for him — and I clear my throat awkwardly.

With his jacket in hand, he focuses his attention on the pile of books lying on my desk. All the books Jack has given me. I like reading his red highlighted passages before doing to bed, but I always come back to the first book Jack gave me. I think it'll always be my favorite.

Levi picks it up, and something about seeing him with the book in his hand feels wrong. Like two separate universes crashing together.

"Atonement. You've read it?" He asks, feeling the red bookmarks with his finger. Jack's other bookmarks in Atonement were just for character and plot analysis, so I took them all out. Except for the red ones: the ones that mark passages about Robbie and Cecilia. The ones that reminded Jack of me. When I read them, I like imagining Jack reading the same words a few weeks earlier.

"I haven't read it yet. But from what I read, I think I understand the general plot of it," I say honestly. He sets the jacket back down and flips through bookmarks, no doubt reading over the romantic words. I feel a sort of possessiveness over the marked passages, but I hold myself back from taking it out of his hands.

That book is mine and Jack's, and it strikes me how wrong it feels to let Levi look through it.

His eyebrows furrow, and I think he's putting the dots together — why I have a bookmarked book that I haven't even read yet. Who must've given it to me. "You know they don't end up together, right?" He finally says, shutting the book with a sharp thud.

"What?"

"Cecilia and Robbie," he elaborates, putting the book down. "I hate to spoil it, but they both die during World War II. That passage about Robbie reflecting on Cecilia's words is the last time he's alive in the book. He dies in his sleep. They never meet again."

The part he's talking about is the part that Jack read to me. It's just a book, but it saddens me. "I don't—I didn't know that," I say awkwardly. "It's still romantic. Even though he died, his last thoughts were about her. It's still a love story, though a tragic one."

Levi laughs. "I don't think anyone would call it a love story, Crimson. A war story, yes. A love story, not quite."

I really don't know what to say to that. It's just a discussion about a book, but there's something more lingering behind his words. Thankfully, my phone buzzes right then. Dani spams my phone, and I try to keep up with her texts.

Are you excited
to come down?

What time will
y'all be here?

You better bring
me a present

And that pink
shirt. I want
to wear it

I'm so excited
to see you!!!

I answer all her questions and tell her that I'm excited to see her too. Just reading her messages makes me buzz with excitement for coming home. I just want to hug her.

I feel Levi watching me as I smile at my phone. "Is that Bunny Boy?" He asks, crossing his arms.

I give him a look. "His name is Jack," I remind him with a little more edge to my voice than necessary. "And no, it's not him. It's my little sister telling me how excited she is about me coming home."

I finish texting Dani and sit on my bed, focusing my full attention on Levi. "Are you going to see your brother over Thanksgiving Break?"

He shakes his head slowly. "My brother isn't going to be home for Thanksgiving," he says stoically. "I don't think I could handle being home with just my parents, so I'm just not going home this week."

"Then what're you gonna do while everyone else is gone?" I ask. "Are you going home with a friend?"

"Nah, my apartment is off-campus, so I'm just gonna stay there for the week," he says.

I stare at him, looking for any trace of humor. "Are you serious? Levi, you can't spend Thanksgiving alone."

"A Thanksgiving alone is better than a Thanksgiving with my parents, so I'm good," he says, and I believe that he means it.

I'm so overcome with how sad that is, and I don't think about my next words. "Come home with me and Archer. For Thanksgiving. You're my friend and I don't want you to be alone for the holidays."

His head snaps up from staring at something on my desk. "What? Look, it's not that serious. I'm fine staying here."

"Well, I'm not fine with you staying here alone. It's depressing," I say. "My parents won't mind. I'll text them right now that I'm bringing a friend home. They won't even question it. Well, my dad might be a bit wary, but he'll get over it."

"Crimson, you really don't have to."

I hop off my bed defiantly. "No, I don't. But I want to. And you can't say no."

Levi laughs at my insistence. "I'm pretty sure that I can."

"No, you really can't," I say. "You're coming and you're going to have a great time. My family is great. They'll like you."

"I'm not worried about them liking me. I'm just not sure that I want to meet the two people that raised an invalid like you. Or if I want to meet their two other offspring," he says. "For their sake, I hope they're nothing like you."

It sounds like I'm convincing him. "They aren't. Dani and Archer will like you too. Especially since you're mean to me. They love making fun of me."

He's silent, considering his options. When he looks at my hopeful expression, he can't hide the smile on his face. "As long as the snacks at your house are better than the ones you—"

I cup my face with my hands, in disbelief that I actually convinced him. My cheeks begin to hurt from how hard I'm smiling. "I'm. So. Excited," I say.

"Yeah, yeah," he says, getting up. "Before you implode from altruistic ecstasy, can we finish this project? I want to start putting it all together over break."

"Yes, yes," I say, still drunk on excitement. I watch as he gets his camera out of his backpack. As he takes the camera out, a large pile of twenty-dollar bills tumble out along with it, falling onto a pile on my floor.

He quickly picks the cash up and drops it back in his backpack. "You never saw that," he says, flashing me a quick wink.

"Sure," I say slowly. "But when you meet my parents, don't mention that you're a drug dealer."

"I'm not a drug dealer," he insists as he sets up the camera.

"Hm, are you a street racer?" I ask. "My dad used to street race before Dani was born. Cash rewards."

He raises an eyebrow. "Crimson, I don't even own a car. But yeah, street racing is definitely my thing.  How are those critical thinking skills coming along, by the way?"

"No need to be snarky. So then what do you do for that money? Shake your ass on a pole?"

"No, that's your boyfriend's job," Levi says. "And if you don't mind, I'd like to keep some of my mystery." He finishes setting up the camera on the tripod. "You ready?"

I nod. He starts recording and asks me a series of questions. Who is your dance role model? What spurred you to start dancing? If you could do only one type of dance for the rest of your life, what would it be? Fortunately, none of them trigger an emotional response like before, and the recording goes pretty smoothly. Except for the fact that Levi somehow gets me to laugh between every question and it takes me a few seconds to gather myself before we can continue.

We have two questions left when there's a knock on my door. Levi curses. "You've gotta be kidding me. The universe does not want me to finish this."

I laugh as Levi lets out a creative string of curse words as I get up to answer the door. The smile freezes on my face when I open the door.

"Hey, baby," Jack says. He holds up a book with tiny red bookmarks sticking out of it. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. "Just finished it."

I take the book and reach up to kiss him quickly. "Thank you, I'll read it over break. You came all the way here to give it to me?" I ask as it dawns on me how bad this looks. Levi sitting in my dorm room. Oh no.

"I also got us some food on my way here," he says, holding up a bag from a local Thai restaurant that he took me to on a date. He must've somehow remembered when I said that I loved their food. "And I just missed you. I thought we could spend some time together before you left on Thursday. We could start the second season of You."

I smile at him, genuinely happy that he's here. I just wish that he came at a time when no one else was here. "That sounds great, but I'm kind of in the middle of a project—"

"Crimson, come on," Levi says from the corner of my dorm, far enough away to not hear our conversation. "My camera only has enough battery for about ten more minutes of video."

Jack's eyes flash down to mine, filled with confusion and jealousy. Then red-hot anger. He leans to the side and looks past me into my dorm, no doubt trying to catch a glimpse of the other guy. "Is someone in there with you?"

Then he looks down and sees Levi's skateboard leaning against the wall outside my door. The lie I told a few weeks ago about who taught me how to skateboard looks absolutely awful, and Jack's face holds a million burning questions.

"It's just for a film project. It's due right after Thanksgiving Break so we had to do it today. In my room," I try to explain quickly. Saying it out loud, I realize that I could have handled this situation better. "It's really not what it looks like."

But from the dark look in Jack's eyes, it doesn't matter. His emotions and shock from the situation have taken over, and I can tell he can't hear me.

"Who is this guy?" Jack asks, bracing himself in the doorway and giving me a questioning stare. I feel Levi walk up behind me, gauging the situation. Jack's demeanor has changed instantaneously — the affectionate vulnerability is nowhere to be found.

I open my mouth but no words come out. I just turn and look between the two of them, at the explosive way they're sizing each other up.

"A friend," I finally sputter.

I watch as a muscle flexes in Jack's bicep. "Whoever he is, I think it's time for him to leave," he says, looking back at me.

Levi steps forward, placing himself between me and Jack. Like he's protecting me from him. But I don't need protecting, certainly not from Jack.

"Who do you think you are, dude?" Levi spits, getting in Jack's face. "Look, Scarlett was just helping me out with a proj—"

"I'm not your dude," Jack bites, and I want to tear my hair out of my head. This is going downhill very fast. Jack turns to me.

"Scar, we need to talk," he says lowly. Then loud enough for Levi to hear, "So can you please get this kid to leave."

"Hey, you don't get to come in here and start ordering her around," Levi says harshly. "You don't control her."

"And you think that you do?"

"Neither of you controls me. So just stop. Both of you," I exclaim, putting my hands on both their chests and pushing them apart firmly. But neither of them back down.

Jack laughs condescendingly at Levi. "Look, I don't even know you, and I really don't care to. So I think it's in your best interest to take this opportunity to get the fuck out of here."

Levi smirks, scanning his eyes up and down Jack. "But I know you. You're the guy who wore the sexy Playboy bunny costume unironically. I really wouldn't be talking if I were you."

Jack drags his tongue on the inside on his cheek, rolling his eyes. "And who do you think picked that costume out for me, huh? Read the fucking room."

Things escalate even further when Levi puts his hands on Jack's chest and pushes, attempting to get him out of the room. From what I've been able to tell, Levi's pretty strong and much taller than average, but Jack six-and-half-foot frame has about four inches on Levi. And he's pure athletically-trained muscle. Jack barely budges, smiling at Levi's failed attempt.

"Don't," I warn Jack, knowing that he isn't one to back down after being provoked for a fight. Over the years, I've witnessed how seriously Jack reacts to people putting their hands on him. It usually ends with blood that isn't his.

"I don't think that's a game you want to play with me, little guy," Jack says through clenched teeth, not heeding my warning. Then he steps forward before I can stop him and pushes Levi right back. Hard. Levi falters backward, and I catch his arm, trying to steady him. But Levi's already back up, taking steps toward Jack.

"Jack, stop," I demand, but my plea falls on deaf ears.

"You really wanna make this physical? Because I promise that it won't end well for you," Jack threatens, advancing toward Levi slowly, and I fully believe his threat. But there's murder in both their eyes, and they look like they're going to escalate things even further. And once they start up again, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop them.

"I'll knock you on your ass, tough guy," Levi spits.

Jack smirks, putting his hands behind his back and shrugging his broad shoulders. "I'd really like to see you try. It'd be the last thing you ever do."

"No, the last thing I'll do is pound your fucking face in—"

"Just stop! Both of you," I yell, pressing my hands harder on their chests and pushing them apart even more. I feel both their breaths under my hand and realize how fucked out this situation is.

Thankfully, they both back down this time. They both look down at me, and I'm fuming. "That was disgusting," I say, enraged by their stupid show of testosterone. "Levi, this is Jack. Jack, this is Levi. My friend."

Now Jack refuses to look at Levi. "I don't need to know who he is, Scarlett. I just want him to get the fuck out of here."

Levi laughs, crossing his arms. "Hate to break it to you, Jack, but out of the two of us, I'm the one that she actually invited here. If anyone isn't welcome, it's you."

"Actually," I interrupt, "at this moment, neither of you is very welcome in my dorm. You both know exactly who each other are, and you're still acting like children. I think I want to be alone right now."

They both take a second to process my words. Then Levi sweeps his hand forward, gesturing for Jack to leave. "You heard her."

Jack rolls his eyes and backs up. To me, he says, "Just call me later." He's wound up, his muscles incredibly tense, but he still stops to bend down and press a quick kiss to my forehead before leaving.

I turn to Levi. "You too. I'll answer the rest of your questions at my house."

Levi gets his stuff without saying another word. He's walking out of the door with his mouth pressed into a hard line when I catch his forearm. I sigh. "Meet me here on Thursday, okay? I'll text you the details."

He nods in acknowledgment and heads down the hallway. As I watch him walk down the hallway, I realize that I didn't tell either of them that they'd both be at Thanksgiving. I can only hope that their disdain for one another will lessen in the coming days.

My friend-who-may-have-feelings-for-me and my semi-boyfriend spending Thanksgiving in the same house. I doubt they'll cause problems around my family, but even if they do, I'll be able to handle them.

At least that's what I tell myself.

When I sit back down on my bed and take a deep breath, I notice something slung over the back of my desk chair.

Levi forgot his jacket again.

♔

voting

jake

lewis

thot corner

1. Thoughts about Jack and Levi's confrontation? Was anyone at fault?

2. Predictions for what will happen over Thanksgiving?

3. Have your views of either Levi or Jack changed? How so?

4. Thoughts on Levi's mysterious past?