My head is pounding. The fog of sleep and confusion clear a bit as I begin to wake up. I attempt to open my eyes, only to snap them shut when the morning light sears them painfully. I groan as I sit up, keeping my eyes shut from the harsh sunlight.

Slowly, I open my eyes to the new day. Looking around, I realize I'm in my own bed in my dorm, wearing nothing but the black lingerie from my costume. The memories from last night wash over me gently. Dancing and drinking. Jack drove me home and put me to bed. And Levi . . .

Levi probably hates me.

I don't remember much beyond that.

I stand up and almost step on Jack. I smile, looking down at his sleeping form. He's sleeping on his stomach in just in his shorts with a blanket half-covering him. His bunny ears are still on his head, crookedly sitting among his mess of light hair. As I orient myself, I stare at his back muscles that tense as he moves slightly.

I check my phone, hoping there's something from Levi. I want to explain, to apologize for leading him on. I need to tell him that there's nothing there between us. I'm with Jack.

But my only texts are from Archer.

Wanna get breakfast?
I'm hungover and
starving

What'd you do last
night anyway?

Whatever, we can talk
over breakfast

I'm on the way to
your place rn

I look back down at Jack sleeping in front of me. The last message was sent three minutes ago. Archer lives less than a five-minute walk from my dorm. I text back quickly, hoping he didn't take the car and isn't already standing outside my dorm room right now.

Can't do breakfast
Sorry

Why?
You w someone?

No, I'm just not
at my dorm

Where are you?
I'll come get you

I contemplate telling him that I'm at Mya's. But there's a good chance that Archer knows where Mya is right now, and I can't risk him being suspicious. And I'm running out of time; he could be here any second. He replies before I can think of something else.

Ah shit
You're at Levi's
aren't you?

Say no more

I won't go
all overprotective
on you so I'll just
tell you to be safe

got it?

I type out a vehement no to his assumption, then delete it, realizing that Archer will burst through my door any second if he doesn't believe my cover story. I put my phone down, unable to muster up the courage to reply to Archer.

I mean, what's the harm in letting Archer believe what he wants to believe? I've told him a million times that Levi and I are not a thing. This is his assumption, not my lie.

Instead, I open Instagram and spend a few minutes searching for Levi's account. I find it. He only follows one-hundred-and-thirty-five people but has just over two-and-a-half thousand followers. No posts.

Sucking in a breath, I check his tagged photos, not sure what I'm expecting to find. Holy shit, there are a lot of them. There are many from last night. Some with his band, some with random guys I don't recognize. Then there are . . . dozens of him with various girls. Some are just posing with him, some press kisses to his cheek, some are blatantly hanging off him with their hands pressed to his chest.

I force myself to close the app. I didn't know he was such a player.

I shut off my phone, not bothering to deconstruct the feelings I have toward those photos. It's not my problem, and I certainly do not have feelings for him. He's a friend. Why should I care?

Then I turn my phone back on and shoot a text to Levi just to clear the air.

How was the rest
of your night?

Then I shove my head into my pillow and scream, realizing how deep of a hole I'm digging myself into.

In the midst of my muffled screaming, I hear rustling coming from the floor. I sit up and watch as Jack rolls over. As he begins to wake up, his eyes flash a beautiful clear-blue beneath the sunlight, bluer than I've ever seen them. I'm the first thing his gaze lands on, and he gives me a sleepy smile.

"Morning, sunshine," he says, rubbing his face groggily. "Do you feel like absolute shit?"

My eyes widen, and I'm suddenly convinced that Jack read my mind. He knows about the horrible lie I just told Archer and the fact that I'm keeping from him about what happened last night with Levi. Because what happened between me and Levi last night was nothing, so Jack doesn't need to know.

But still, I want to answer, Yes, I do feel like absolute shit because I have no fucking idea what's going on in my head right now and I'm afraid that my emotions will drive me toward self-destruction.

Instead, I manage to stutter out, trying to hide the guilt from my voice, "Uh—what do you mean?"

Jack sits up and leans against the wall, smiling at me. "I mean, I imagine you're hungover. I had to stop you from doing your ninth shot last night." He laughs at my horrified expression. Then his face turns caring, wholly concerned about how I'm feeling. "Do you want me to get you some Advil or a Gatorade for your head? I could put on an apron and make you an omelet," he offers.

I rest my chin on my hands, looking down at him amusedly. "Just an apron?"

He shrugs. "Your wish is my command."

I would really like an omelet. And to see Jack in an apron. But I smile and shake my head. "No, I'll have to pass, though. Thank you, though." Then I get off my bed and join him on the floor. Jack leans in and kisses me, pulling me out of my mental spiral.

When he pulls away, I focus on his eyes and forget what I was ever worried about. "I'll never get tired of that," he says, and the dreamy look in his eyes makes me melt. "Good thing you feel better. Because I have a lot planned for us today."

I can't believe I forgot what today was. "Oh! The lake!" I remember excitedly. "Of course I'm excited," I say honestly. I get giddy at the thought of me and him, alone on a boat in the middle of a lake in the middle of nowhere.

After sitting on my floor for a little while, talking and kissing until the sleep has fully left the both of us, we start to get ready and pack for our day. We leave my dorm and stop by Jack's dorm quickly, careful to make sure mine and Archer's car isn't there, to pick up a few things.

"I think we're good to go," Jack says as he slides back into the car. I put on some music, and Jack takes my hand and kisses my knuckles quickly. "I get to have you all to myself for the entire day. No cell service, no Archer, no distractions."

"Sounds like the start of a horror movie," I say as we start driving.

"A romantic horror movie," he clarifies, bringing my hand to his lips again while still keeping his eyes on the road. "I'll kiss you just before the serial killer hacks us both to death. It'll be great."

"I wouldn't want to get hacked to death with anyone else," I say. "And the possibility isn't too unrealistic if Archer finds out about us. Did he ask you about where you were last night?"

Jack nods, and his expression turns slightly sad, and I know we both feel the guilt of lying to him. "I just told him I went to The Bunker and met up with some guys from the team. The guys I introduced you to last night will probably tell Archer that they just saw me with some random girl. He'll assume I stayed with her. He just won't know who she really is."

I want to feel happy that our cover stories are pretty air-tight, but I just can't bring myself to be happy about deceiving Archer so easily. It shouldn't be this easy. Jack and I hold each other's hand tightly and reassuringly, reminding ourselves why we're putting ourselves through this. For each other.

For the rest of the car ride, I read the annotations of the most recent book that Jack gave me: Call of the Wild by Jack London. It's definitely not a romance, but Jack still found passages that reminded him of me, even if taken completely out of context.

There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive.

In the margin next to that one, Jack wrote, Every moment I spent with you. And I have to admit that the passage is the closest anything has ever come to describing how I feel with Jack.

But there's one in particular that makes my heart beat faster.

Love, genuine passionate love, was his for the first time.

Does him marking this passage for me count as our first L-bomb? I read over it several times, willing myself not to smile too wide. I try not to ponder it for too long, instead shutting the book and watching the road ahead of us, enjoying the comfortable ecstasy of the moment. Still, I can't help but repeat that line over and over in my head while thinking of the man next to me.

We arrive outside a small, homey-looking building on the lake. Inside, Jack talks with an old man sitting behind a desk. While he does that, I peruse a display of tacky souvenirs with names written on them. I look through the selection of keychains, trying to find my name. The man gives Jack keys to the boat, a whistle, and a small float and sends us on our way.

"Find your name on one of them?" Jack asks me as we walk outside to the dock. I shake my head as he takes my hand in his.

"No, they never have my name," I say, frowning.

There are several boats lined up along the dock, and I'm surprised when Jack stops in front of one of the largest bowriders. I'm still admiring the sleek vessel as Jack effortlessly lifts me into it by the waist, then gets in himself.

"You look cute in a life-vest," he says as he watches me strap one on. I laugh, "I don't feel very cute."

"Then you'll just have to take my word for it," he says, sliding his own on without putting on the straps. I have to admit, he also looks really cute in a life-vest too.

"Do you even know how to drive this thing?" I ask after we put our stuff down. I sit in the front end, watching as Jack settles down in the driver's seat.

"Have some faith, Scar," Jack says, flashing me a cocky grin. He apparently knows what he's doing, and he maneuvers us through a narrow channel that's supposed to feed into the lake. When we do reach the lake, the view takes my breath away.

It's a beautiful cloudless day, and the blue sky contrasts the dark blue water. Bright green trees surround the shoreline. I sit up on my knees at the front of the boat, taking in the way the sunlight reflects off the water and leaves.

"I could get used to this," Jack says. When I turn around, I see him sitting lazily in the seat, steering the boat with one hand. He has sunglasses perched on the top of his head, so I can see him staring right at me. "This view."

"So cheesy," I say, still feeling blood rush face to my face. Then I turn back to the direction we're headed, feeling the warm wind on my face. Drinking in the beauty of this day, I hardly notice when the boat stops in the middle of the lake.

"Message from the captain," Jack says, deepening his voice and standing up. "We have arrived at our destination."

After helping him drop our anchor, I sit down on one of the seats, pushing my sunglasses up to get a good look at him. "You're a captain now, huh? What happened to the whole doctor act?"

He reaches into the bag he brought and takes out the captain's hat from my Hugh Hefner costume. After taking his sunglasses off, he puts the hat on his head and stretches out on the seat across from me, groaning from the feeling of the sun on his skin. "I'm whatever you need me to be. As Captain, my word is final."

"Oh? And what does my captain say?"

"Hm," he says, thinking. Then he stands back up and pulls his shirt up from the back. "I say that we have too many clothes on."

I pull my tank top off slowly, messing up my hair. When I catch Jack staring, I say, "Captain's orders, right?"

"Right." Then he helps me out of my jean shorts, letting his hands linger on my skin before putting the shorts down on the seat. "That's better," he says when I'm in only my bathing suit.

I pull the captain's hat from his head and place it on my own. "There, now I'm the captain," I say. Then I pull out a tube of sunscreen and place it in his hands. "First order: help me put sunscreen on."

To begin, Jack just holds my face in his hands and gently applied sunscreen on my forehead and nose. Then to my chin, neck, and cheeks.

"I think that's enough on my face, Jack," I laugh.

He applies more. "I don't want you to burn."

I give him a look and move his hands away from my face. Then I turn around and hold my hair off my skin. Neither of us says a word as he moves his hands in circles over my body. I hold my breath as his fingers slide the straps of my bikini down slightly to work the sunscreen onto the skin there. Then he kisses my neck and shoulder before covering them as well. When his hands leave my body, I don't move.

"You missed a spot," I say innocently. Jack pauses for a second, then slowly slides his hands on the skin around my skimpy bikini bottoms, massaging the sunscreen into the one place he missed. Not that I'm complaining. Then he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close against his naked torso and putting his mouth next to my ear.

"Any more spots I missed?" He asks. My answer is drowned out by a jet ski driving past us. The driver whoops and hollers at the sight of Jack wrapped around me. Jack moves me behind him and flips him off. I just laugh.

With the moment interrupted, I turn my sights on taking advantage of this beautiful opportunity. "Can we go swimming here?"

Jack looks around. "Not here. If you want to swim, we should get closer to the shoreline. Somewhere shallower." He considers me for a second. "More secluded . . ."

"Well then what are we waiting for, Captain?" I say, settling back into my seat and waiting for him to start the boat back up.

Jack laughs and flicks my hat. "Last I remember, you deemed yourself the captain," he reminds me. I groan. "Come on, help me get the anchor and I'll teach you to drive this thing."

"Don't I need a license?" I ask, already knowing the answer. "Like Spongebob?"

"I won't tell if you don't."

When the anchor's back in the boat, Jack sits me on his lap in the driver's seat. I place my hands on the wheel and he places his under mine. When we start moving, I'm startled by how little I have to do. I just steer.

"Aren't there gears I need to be changing? Buttons I need to be pressing?" I ask, suspicious of how easy this is.

Jack rests his chin on his shoulder. "You're not captaining the Titanic, baby. It's automatic," he explains.

"If I was the captain of the Titanic, it would've sunk a lot sooner," I say.

"Eh, you're still the hottest captain I've ever seen," he says over the sound of the wind blowing past us. With his lips staying so close to my skin, I'm genuinely concerned that I may crash the boat.

We find a nice sunny spot not too close to the shoreline and drop anchor. I plug in my phone to the boat's AUX and blast music from its speakers. We jump into the water together. The water is way too deep for me to stand, so I cling to Jack to stay above the surface. He doesn't seem to mind at all.

After trying and succeeding at the Dirty Dancing overhead lift, we climb back into the boat, limbs warm and tired. Jack gets out the sub sandwiches and water bottles we brought.

"So how's your sister?" I ask as I stretch out on the warm seats of the boat. Jack hands me my sandwich and I dig in. "I haven't seen her since you tore your rotator cuff in junior year."

That was three years ago, and Haley was so preoccupied with taking care of Jack after his surgery that I hardly got the chance to speak to her. But from the times I remember her hanging out with us when we were younger, Jack's older sister is a great person.

Jack leans back on his forearms, not yet eating his sub. "Haley's good. She's about to get married, actually."

"Really?" I ask, surprised that I haven't heard of this yet. "That's great. I didn't even know she was dating anyone."

Jack shrugs. "Yeah, he's a nice guy." Then he turns to me. "I was actually hoping you'd be my date to the wedding."

I beam, moving closer to him to rest my chin on his shoulder. "Hm. And what would being your wedding date entail?"

He lays back down so my head is resting on his chest. His fingers run through my wet hair as I continue eating my sub. "It's one of those outdoor wedding somewhere in the middle of the woods. So being my date would mean staying with me overnight . . . in a cabin . . . alone. How does that sound?"

"Just as serial-killer-y as you bringing me to this lake in the middle of nowhere," I say, looking up at him with a mouth full of food. "In other words, it sounds perfect."

"It's not for a while, though. Sure you won't change your mind by then?"

"I'm sure," I say. His hand wraps around my wrist tenderly before he brings my hand up so he can take a gigantic bite of my sub. I laugh and pull my hand away. "You literally have your own."

He chews a few times and smiles. "Yeah, but stealing yours tastes so much better."

I try to act mad but still let him take another bite of my sub. When he's done with that one, I hover the sub over his face, pulling it away just when he leans up to take a bite. I laugh at the betrayed look on his face, right before he catches me by surprise and succeeds in taking another bite.

After Jack has finished my sandwich, I try to remember what we were talking about. "Are Haley and her fiancé visiting you and your Mom for Thanksgiving?"

Jack gets quiet for a second, holding our laced hands against his chest. "Nah," he says, looking down. "It looks like my family actually isn't getting together for Thanksgiving this year. Haley is staying with her future in-laws and Mom has to work. She's pretty much going to be working twenty-four-seven at the hospital that week."

I flip over so I'm on my stomach, looking at him. "I'm sorry," I say, even though it isn't my fault. His mom has an awful schedule working as a nurse, but I know how devastated he must be to not be able to spend the holiday with her or his sister.

He smiles lightly, moving on from the sadness quickly. "It's fine. It just means I get to spend Thanksgiving with the Maddox family. I even managed to snag a reservation in one of your guest bedrooms."

My jaw falls open. "Holy shit, you're joking. Jack, that's great!" I exclaim, sitting up. "Archer invited you? Mom and Dad are okay with you staying with us?"

Jack nods. "Yeah, they didn't like the idea of me hanging with you guys and going back to an empty house. But I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have been okay with it if they knew about you and me," he says.

"We'll take what we can get," I say, hugging him excitedly. "I've never been more excited for Thanksgiving Break. Even though it'll be a pain to hide our secret from everyone else."

"Totally worth it, in my humble opinion," Jack adds before turning over and pressing his lips to mine. "I'll just have to hold myself back from doing this to you every time we're in the same room," he says between feathery kisses on my lips, cheek, neck, forehead.

"Don't think this is gonna make me forget about you eating half my sandwich," I say between his kisses, even though he technically bought all of today's food. "You still owe me half of yours."

"How about," he says, thinking, "every kiss makes up for one bite I took from your sandwich?"

I shake my head, curling my fingers in his dirty blonde hair. "That's not how this works. You can't repay your debt that easily."

"So how does this work?"

"You have to kiss me and give me your entire sandwich."

"My entire sandwich?" He asks, still kissing me. "That can't be right."

I frown at him. "Sorry, I don't make the rules."

Jack just laughs and rolls on top of me, caging me underneath him. I laugh, and we let our fondness and attraction for each other take over — for once, not afraid of anyone catching us.

♔

thoughts?

jack

levi