I didn't see Elsa until after my exams, and when I was well into the break. I can blame myself or our inability to see or communicate with each other on my exams, I can also blame it on the cold shoulders she offered whenever we bumped into each other in any random place. I can also say that its been a long time since I walked down to the corner.

The fact that she clearly expressed her displeasure or unwillingness to communicate with me, did not stop my mind from recapturing all our moments together.

We did not date, and barely had a relationship, but  every time I saw something remotely blue, I thought of her aquamarine eyes and how they'd shine with laughter.

I thought of her childish acts, of clapping at delectable sights and suggestions. And on late night shifts at Parrot, i wondered if she wasn't missing out on her much loved hamburgers and milkshakes, which she tagged as necessities in her life.

I thought of her black and neon green headphones and whether she adhered to my warnings of reducing the volume.

I pondered over her latest collection of pebbles and whether she had stopped throwing them at the metal trash can.

✏✏✏✏

It was one day, after the initial scare of a faux rain that I left my home, and found myself standing in front of a place, that I had forced myself not to branch or approach.

I saw Elsa sitting on our rocky companion, with her knees hugging her chest with bent head.

I saw down on the other side of our rocky companion, and only when she removed the headphones did it confirm my suspicion, of her been aware of my presence all along.

We stared at each other in silence, and I found out that I was dealing badly with the sight of her reddened eyes. A series of question trailed my eyes, as I noted that she looked pale, and hadn't smiled a bit since she looked up at me.

"Huey". She croaked, and closed the distance between us.

Wordlessly, I completely remove her headphone from her head; there was no music playing. Then we hugged. We stayed in our hugging position till she pulled away.

"I don't think I can do this". She lamented and I noticed another batch of tears, running down from her red eyes. 

I wipe them with the pad of my thumb. "I think you can do anything you put your mind to".

"I am scared and you don't understand it". She croaked.  "Everyday I wake up, and I look at my mom wondering if she'd leave like my dad. He left without a goodbye and nobody was expecting it".

"I know that look, but your response wouldn't stop or solve anything, I have been getting it since he died". She sobbed, "It didn't hinder his death and between mom and i, I don't think anyone of us has gotten over his death".

"She's probably coping very hard and slowly".

She smiled at me through her tears, and responded. "You don't get it, every time something gets burnt we remember him, our house was always filled with the smell of burnt food because he'd always beeline to the kitchen, to make breakfast or dinner".

"We remember him, when the weather reports don't align with the actual weather, he was our weather man".

"We cant forget him, because every time we catch our neighbors tickling each other, our minds would go back to him. He was so good at tickling, that he propounded a name for himself, the ticklish mailman".

"How do we forget someone who wouldn't allow us go late, but was tagged the never early mailman. How can I forget all his teasing with my mum, he'd tease her senseless".

She paused and exhaled slowly. "He promised that he was going to look over my college application with me after work, but he died a few blocks away from the house".

I made a move to silence her, but she swatted my finger. "He didn't make it to the hospital, and I guess I stopped living in that moment. Our lives took a downward movement, we had to leave the house it had too much of him, I didn't finish my schooling that year like we planned, because i was hard hearing anything from the teachers and i couldn't  see past my tears ".

I was rubbing her back, and securing strands of brown hair behind her ears, as she rested her head on my chest.

"You know what I realized, you can't forget someone who gave you so much to remember". She sighed, "I want to move on, but its seems like I can't move past that day".

"I think you haven't accepted his death".

"You think so?". She accused and peered up at me.

I nodded and we basked in the silence, till she moved away to pick up her belongings and thinly compose herself. As we walked the path to her house, I noticed that her blue bag, had been with a black sling bag.

We sang a variety of songs along the way, there were mostly sad songs and all were from her. We stopped in front of her house. It was my first time walking her home,and from where we stood,  in front of the short gate, I saw the door open and a woman leaned against the door post, backing the illumination coming from inside the house.

"Huey". Elsa called softly, her face was dry now. "I think I need to go find myself".

"You can visit his grave," I suggested.

"No, I can't do that for now" she shook her head. ''I need to go somewhere where I can get a clear head, get a hang of my life and probably finish school".

"Then you need let go of your fears".

"I want to do this for myself, I want to be strong for my mother and find happiness even at his painful demise".

"Whenever you are ready". I whispered and placed a kiss on her forehead.

We hugged for half a lifetime, before she let herself in through the gate.

"Huey". She called out with a promise, "till we meet again".

Fun fact: I miss my older sister, Karen. But don't tell her I said that.