Lani Liu sometimes wonders what would happen if they somehow found Sarah Cameron. How they would have to pull her dead body out of the ocean, and peel the wet clothes from her before redressing her in something warm again. How she wouldn't look like her beautiful best friend anymore but a pale corpse accidentally washed to shore. Lost at sea would be crossed from missing posters, and the missing posters would be replaced with funeral announcements. Condolences would roll off the tongues of strangers that watched her grow, apologies for her family and friends. For her best friend. People would pretend they knew her but no one really knew her...not like Lani did.

Lani looks at herself in the mirror each morning, dressing herself in presentable clothing and applying eyeliner and blush and mascara and any jewelry she can find in order to appear normal. To appear that she hasn't been crying or hasn't drowned her sorrows in expensive tequila for multiple nights in a row. Pretending she's not continuing on with her life when her best friend doesn't even get the chance.

Because as her best friend floats lifeless around the ocean, Lani dips her toes into it just barely each day. The waves whisper sweet nothings and calming assurances that there's hope. Sarah Cameron might be out there somewhere, waiting to come home. That she'll forget Lani ever said that stupid thing to her before she ran away with her boyfriend. That everything could just go back to normal. She asks the waves to tell her a story: a story of a girl washed away by a storm but only to return with a heartbeat. The waves twist around her feet, like they're holding her and comforting her even though she can't feel her toes anymore. Numb just like her heart.

And the waves comply. She actually comes home, and she's not dead.

It's then that drowning in alcohol and standing in the cold ocean to become numb don't really exist anymore. Lani finds comfort in her friend's warmth — in her life. She finds comfort in a Pogue she thought she hated but she thinks he might have this sort of map to her heart. Like he knows which roads to take and which have cracks. Like he knows how to keep the blood flowing through her heart, holding her close to his chest, making the desire to forget everything completely nonexistent. He treats the cruelty of her heart as a garden, holding her close and pulling the weeds as they come.

Because whenever she feels the cold returning, he holds her tight and everything's OK again.

introducing...

🍒 chase sui wonders as lani liu

"JJ, she's a Kook, man. You can't expect her to be, like, remotely nice or anything. Just saying. Like, I'd rather hang out with a dead body for three hours than spend two minutes with her. She honestly scares me."

"You don't know her, Pope, OK? She's...different."

"Oh, my God. You're a cliche?"

"I'm serious! Yeah, she's got fucking issues and might drink a little bit too much and might swear like a sailer but who doesn't? Pope, man, when it's just me and her...like, I swear it's different. She puts up this fake fucking image for everyone but once you get passed it, she's like a fucking goddess, man! Like I would literally get down on my knees and just —"

"Whoa, OK! Keep the vivid description to yourself."

TW: mentions of alcohol and drug abuse, death, self harm, strong language, and sexual content. Please be advised before reading.

DISCLAIMER: i do not own outer banks or any of the characters. all rights belong to the respective creators. i do, however, own lani and her storyline. please respect the work i put into this.

AN: hi bitches im back w a season two jj fic!!

before you ask, yes i haven't updated my other fics in awhile...yes, i just started grad school...yes, i will try my best to update as often as i can...no, i am not writing smut for jj and lani...they are like sixteen (doesn't mean it can't be implied but i'm not comfortable writing it)...anywho, let's get started yeah?

thank u to my beautiful friend wiIsons  for the moodboards!! she is a god when it comes to graphics i swear. xoxo ily

gifs and header were made by me, so please do not steal them. I worked hard on them.

thank u lauren and vividparacosm  for listening to my endless ranting about lani because she is my baby and i love her with my whole heart

if you have any immediate questions of concerns, please leave a comment here or send me a message! thank you!