It breaks my heart to see him cry.

_

Carina's POV

THE SAME DAY.

"Babe, please eat", Mike said as he put a sandwich in front of my face.

I looked at the sandwich and it smelled pretty good.

I was hungry, but I didn't have an appetite.

"No, thanks", I mumbled.

He put the ceramic plate on the counter in front of me and sat on one of the bar stools next to me.

"Carina, I'm sorry. I know it's totally wrong what I did, but I just did it to have you back", he said and I looked at him.

"Carina, I'm really sorry that I messed up back then. I cheated on you and it was the worst mistake of my life. I let you go when I had you and I didn't even realise what I did. When my last girlfriend cheated on me, I realised what I put you through. I'm sorry, Carina. I just couldn't get you out of my head", he said as he hung his head low and sighed deeply.

"The company that I work for in England, moved me to work in another branch of theirs over here, in Ireland and they've allowed me this place and a car. I come back everyday and I have no one to be with. I'm alone, Carina", he said with his head still low.

Where is this conversation heading to?

"One day, I was walking around the streets until I came across your cafe and that changed me completely. I saw you and I realised that you're the one I need in my life. You're the one that I need to be with in this place which we can call home. You've always been the one, it's just that I was fucking blind to not see it earlier", he said as he made eye contact with me.

His eyes showed so many emotions. Emotions which I couldn't recognise.

"I didn't know if you were single or not, but you know what a selfish guy I am. I saw you and in that minute I knew you had to be mine, again. So, I tried to get back to you, but you punched me in my face and kept pushing me away from you", he said, never breaking eye contact.

I gulped as his stare grew intense.

It were these eyes that I once loved. It were these eyes that I once wished to see among the many others.

"Maybe that's where I'm supposed to be, away from you. But, I don't want that to happen. I believe everyone deserves a second chance to make up for the times they've messed up. And I didn't mess up, I fucked up", he said and I had to bite my bottom lip.

"Don't bite your lip, it's drives me nuts", he said when he noticed it.

I let go of my lip from between my teeth and he focused his gaze on my eyes.

"Don't you think that I deserve a second chance? To make it up to you for all the times I've made you cry, for all the times when I forced you to give into me, for all the times when I didn't give you enough love and for the time when I broke your heart by cheating", he said as a tear escaped his eye.

I didn't realise a tear escaped my eye too, until Mike wiped it off my cheek.

"I'm sorry, Carina. I don't want to be the person I was back in highschool. I want to be a better person, I want to be different person, for you", he said focusing his eyes back on mine.

"I really need you to forgive me", he said and lowered his eyes.

At this point I felt so many emotions.

I felt happy because Mike realised that he was wrong and wants to change, I felt angry because he's put me through a lot, I felt sad because he's crying and the Mike I knew wouldn't even shed a tear.

Well, maybe he's really changed.

"Mike", I whispered and he slowly looked at me.

"Look, you've put me through a lot. You literally cheated on me while all I did was love and adore you. These past years haven't been easy for me. It hasn't been easy enough to let go of the love I had for you, but then I found the courage to let go and I did. I've moved on, Mike. I've moved on from the fact that you broke my heart, I've moved on from the fact that you cheated. Of course, I was mad at you, but I forgive you now", I said and smiled towards the end of the sentence.

He blinked at me as he stared with wide eyes.

It made him look funnier.

"So, you forgive me?", he asked in surprise.

"Yes, I forgave you", I smiled and he smiled too.

"But..", I add and his smile instantly faded away.

I made eye contact with him before I could speak.

"That's doesn't mean that I can love you again", I said and he closed his eyes.

"I will forgive you for everything that you've done. I will even accept you back in my life, but I will never be able to love you because...", I trailed off as I was at a loss of words, again.

He opened his eyes and looked at me again.

"Because?", he whispered as his eyes began to fill with many tears that would shed anytime soon.

"Because things will never be the same between us, Mike. Things will never be the same because at the end of the day when you don't answer my calls or texts, you might be busy with your work or any emergency, but I'm going to have a thought at the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe you're cheating on me. And I don't want that to happen, Mike", I said voicing out my opinions.

"I would want our love to be confident where no matter what happens I trust you that you're still faithful and committed to me. And after what's happened in the past, I don't think I'll be able to trust you with my love again. I loved you with all of my heart, Mike, and all you did was crumble my love and trust", I sobbed, remembering my past.

His eyes widened, but then they looked sad.

"But you said you'll forgive me", he whispered as he held my hands in his.

I felt warm as he covered his palms around my hands.

"I said I'll forgive you, but I can't forget what you did", I said as I took my hands out of his grip.

He didn't make an attempt to hold my hands.

"Mike, maybe if you'd come earlier into my life, if you'd come even a day before I met Niall, then maybe I'd consider what you're saying. Although I'm saying I can't trust you, I would take the chance of risking everything and be with you. But, not now. Not after I met Niall", I said and I saw his eyes turn dark.

"Niall has been my only friend since the day I met him and he's always made me feel better. He's made all of my mental pain go away and he makes me so happy. He's made me want to trust people again, the trust that you once broke is fixed by Niall", I said gently as I tried not to be too harsh.

He closed his eyes as soon as the words left my mouth.

It made me sad to see him like this, vulnerable.

The Mike that I knew back then was a ruthless and heartless guy who just did things for his own benefits.

But today, I saw a different Mike.

I saw a Mike who was weak and vulnerable. A Mike who was crying to get back one of his many exes.

"It breaks my heart to see you like this, Mike. I'm sorry, but I had to tell you this. It's just that, I loved you too much and you shattered my heart, but Niall has fixed it and made me love him more than I knew I was capable of loving", I said and he nodded his head 'no' with his eyes still shut.

"But, Niall is in the situation that he is in, only because of me. He's battling for life and death only because he came to see me over and was returning back to his place. So, I would do anything to save him, because he doesn't deserve to die. He deserves to live although it might not be with me", I said as another tear escaped my eyes.

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"You promised to donate your blood to Niall if I'd come back to you. You did as you promised and now it's my turn to return my promise", I said and his eyes widened.

I wiped a few more tears that I didn't know had fallen.

"I'm willing to be with you, Mike. But, you must know that my heart will always belong to Niall and things will never be the same between you and me".

He looked hurt, his eyes said it.

"And probably Niall's heart will always belong to me, because I know he'll be only half a heart without me".

_

A/N:

Alright, so this chapter was really difficult for me to write and I cried. It just feels personal, because I felt few of these emotions and it's crazy.

Well, see y'all in the next chapter!

Lots Of Love
-Carita D'Costa❤️