Hakuba had liked cats since he was a young child. Cats remained when his mother left for work. Cats remained at his side when his father denied only the slightest of body contact.
Hakuba was serious there. The closest he had gotten to a hug was an arm around his shoulder for media.
Cats always stayed with him. When he thought the world was about to collapse around him, Hakuba's golden eyes would dart over to his cat occupying his bed. Lazily sprawled out across the blanket, sharp eyes watching his every move, tail swaying around... and the detective knew that indeed, the world wouldn't collapse at least today.

His cat died due to a car accident. A month of depression for the London detective and Kuroba knew better than to prank him this time. He had tried, the first day, yet Akako had prevented him with her girlfriend Aoko (god bless these two girls) and after that, Hakuba had peace.
He didn't visit any heists.
He didn't do any social activities.
All Hakuba ought to do was to bury himself into case files just like his father... to forget the pain gnawing at his heart.

It all changed as he came face to face with a tiny creature on the school ground. If Hakuba was honest with himself, this cat looked like a spawn of satan. Black fur, smooth tail, golden-green eyes able to pierce through his soul and an attitude... The fella ignored all the other teenagers trying to interact with it and went straight for Hakuba. The halfbrit looked surprised but crouched down, careful to not scare it away.
The cat stopped, nose raised, eyes glaring deep into Hakuba's. The detective relaxed in a way. He knew this stare. God, he missed this stare.
Once the cat leaned into his touch and began to purr, Hakuba had made his decision. No collar, no registration, nothing.
"I'll be taking it with me and try to find out wether it belongs to anybody," he loudly announced and the cat willingly settled down in his arms-
Almost throning on him, staring all these peasants down.
Hakuba hadn't found any owner and that's how his misery began.

***

"What am I supposed to do? I just have to forget him. Is that the right decision?"
Hakuba turned to his cat sprawled out next to him which stared absently out of the window. Ha. What did he expect, an answer? Hakuba knew better than to frame his cat for nearly dozing off. He had been rambling about his crush on Kuroba Kaito since two months (yesterday had been his anniversary).
"I mean, he is a thief. A thief. And I'm a detective. He doesn't respond my feelings. He shouldn't respond my feelings. Bloody hell, I shouldn't have feelings!"
A yawn interrupted him and his eyes darted back onto his cat. Lazy bastard. But dear god, he couldn't resist those cute eyes.

"I'm going to tell him. Right now. No. No I won't, a gentleman doesn't fall in with the door."
His hand hovered above his phone. Should he?
"R-right. Study. He can help me study." Hakuba knew just too well this was an excuse to see him- he was above average in all subjects and so was Kuroba. Perhaps an art project? Ha! Inspiration. Hakuba had his excuse.
The male sat down next to his cat and sighed. He felt like a lovesick teenager. God, he was a lovesick teenager. Hakuba's fingers flew over the keys of his phone and just as he was about to press Send, his cat jumped at his wiggling fingers.

Study at my house, Kuroba-kun? I really need a brainstorm

Turned into

Sex at my house, Kuroba-kun? I really need a blowjob

Hakuba stared onto his phone. First came shock. Then horror. Followed by burning embarassment. Furiously, his fingers flew once again over the keys.

Gomen! Of course I meant 'study' and 'brainstorm'!!

Bump!
Again his cat jumped at him and Hakuba flinched.

Gomen! Of course I meant 'sex' and 'blowjob'!!

Kuroba read it. Oh god. Hakuba wanted to crawl into a hole and never see the sunlight again.

KID
Hilarious. I suppose you meant to say 'study' and 'brainstorm'? The art project?

Saguru
Yes!! Bloody autocorrect!

KID
Oh my god. I'm gonna screenshot this for personal entertainment. Am there in ten minutes.

Hakuba breathed out in relief. He still trembled all over and he didn't need to glance at his mirror to know his blush covered his entire face, ears and neck.
"You traitor!!" he hissed at his cat which seemed unfazed. Accusingly, he aimed his finger at the entirely black creature and was just about to rant as it patted his finger with a tiny meow.
God.
And gone was all his anger.
"You lazy and unfairly cute creature-" Hakuba grumbled and finally realized he had to prepare the materials. Perhaps they could take a break later? Popcorn was a choice, too. He knew Kuroba loved anything sweet and wouldn't be opposed to it.

The teens did take a break later on and Hakuba noted with amusement that the popcorn he had made never left Kuroba's side.
The magician looked tired. No wonder, KID had held a heist and Hakuba knew for sure (thanks to unnamed yet very reliable sources) he had had both Kudo and Hattori on his heels this night. A chase of madness for hours.
Both laid on Hakuba's bed, sprawled out all over it. Kuroba flat on his belly, Hakuba next to him yet propped up on his ellbows. It wasn't long that he noticed the thief had fallen asleep.
Oh dear Lady Luck.
Kuroba was most likely a light sleeper and thus, Hakuba did his best to move slow... slowly his arm towards the Kaitou's shoulder's. Just once, just once he wanted to hold him in his arms.

Yet his cat spoiled his plan as it settled down right on Kuroba's back, where his arm was about to go.
Hakuba stared at his smug pet as if it had killed his entire family. Sadistic little pest. Nevertheless, Kuroba snuggled up to him and Hakuba's heart calmed. Now, just a few minutes with his one and only-
His cat began to move.
"Dear Kami-sama, I beg on you, stay bloody still...!" he silently prayed while his cat shifted from his lower back up to his shoulders and back down.
Too late. Kuroba opened his eyes and scooted a little away from his blond friend who internally screamed. Why?!

***

Three days later, Hakuba was on the edge. He wanted to ask Kuroba out. The detective knew for sure, without this rejection he wouldn't be able to continue.
But he had to practise. First things first, in front of his mirror. But his face turning into a marvellous shade of red distracted him so much only meaningless words sputtered out of him.
Fine then. Audio instead. Perhaps if he heard himself, he was able to check how it sounded- Hakuba planned to keep his dignity, after all.
"Y-you... uhm... Kuroba-kun... w-well... Oh god Saguru how on earth do you think you can keep your dignity here?! This is just like exposing a culprit, now you're exposing feelings! Oh my god I'm a bloody failure."
He took a deep breath and tried it again.
"I-I love you- N-no, that's too blunt. S-see, I have liked you since- Gah that's weird, too! I-I just want to say, I can accept KID too- j-just in case you agree but you don't have to! I mean, I- argh!!"
Hakuba made an utter fool of himself and recorded those painful four minutes of stuttering countless 'I love you', 'Please go out with me', 'We can pretend this never happened' and 'KID isn't bad either'.
At the end, he started to cry in despair and was glad he had stopped the audio. Hakuba hadn't realized this matter would shake him up so bad- He needed a tea.
The London detective threw his phone onto his bed and left.

Ten minutes later he returned and his eyes landed upon the innocent cat patting his cellphone display.
"No. You didn't."
Hakuba hastily snatched his phone away and stared in shock at it.

Audio sent

Three missed calls from: KID

"Oh. God. OH GOD."
Hakuba's breath started to quicken. He was in full blown panic mode. Oh bloody god. Kuroba had heard the audio. Oh god.
"YOU BLOODY TRAITOR!!" he yelled at his cat which ran with a hiss out of his room. His phone rang again and Hakuba whipped around. No. Please. He started to pray silently as he slowly picked up the call.
"...m-moshi-moshi...?"
"Hakuba-kun, seriously, if you were going to send me an audio like that you could have called me, too."
"...r-right. Just- j-just reject me already."

Awkward silence.

"What gave you the idea I would reject you?"

Shocked silence.

"You're joking."
"I solemly swear, I am not. Ice cream at the café near your house? We've got things to talk about."
Hakuba stared at his phone. This was a dream, this was way too good to be reality.
"Uh... Yes... Sure... Kuroba-kun I swear if you are going to glitterbomb me-"
"Geesh just hurry up already! I'll be waiting. See you in a minute."
Hakuba swore he had broken his own record time of dressing proper enough and leaving the house.
His satan's spawn of a cat might have earned him a little luck at least today.