|| Let me tell you 'bout someone special
She's kinda perfect and I wish she knew ||

"Goshiki!" You wrapped your arms around him and squeezed him tightly.

"Oh hey! Shall we go?"

You and Goshiki had planned to hangout at a local café. You and him have been spending a lot of time together but the feelings remained unrequited.

|| Told me that she thinks she has to settle
But I know that ain't true ||

You nervously picked at the lid of your drink, "Hey, you know.. my ex, right?"

"You mean that jerk right?" Goshiki's expression twisted into one of annoyance whenever your ex was brought up.

"Yeah.. that one," you knew that you shouldn't keep falling back to them but you never found the will to walk away, "we're kinda back together now."

|| She used to laugh at all the trouble we got in
Always finding ways to break the rules ||

Goshiki almost knocked over his drink as he stood up from his seat abruptly, "you're kidding."

He would've scolded you for going back to them over and over again, but he simply couldn't find it in himself to be angry at you.

"Goshiki..?"

|| Lately I don't see her smile as often
I think you know it's you ||

Goshiki has known you for years. Way before you met them. He was your best friend but that was all you saw. You used to be so cheerful, you used to laugh so much more before you got into that relationship.

No matter what he told you. You'd only deny it saying that they made you happy. He wanted to believe you, but he knew you more than they could ever.

|| Don't take this the wrong way
I want you to be happy
But it's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

"But they keep hurting you, (F/n). Don't you think enough is enough?"

"I-I know! This time is diff–"

"You keep saying that! Is it really?! I'm tired of hearing you say that they've changed but it all ends the same way."

You placed your hand over his as he slumped back into his chair, "I know, and thank you for always being there for me, but this time I really want to believe them. I really do love them."

|| Spending all of my time
Dancing on this fine line
It's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

It really hurt. Just when he was starting to think your ex was fading from your mind. The truth was that they never left. There was no room for him in your heart.

He remembered the first time you introduce him to them. At first they were just a friend, but he had to watch you fall head over heels over them.

|| I know you like the back of my hand
I want you more every day and
It's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

"Are you sure?" Goshiki lightly squeezed the tips of your fingers with his, "I don't like this."

"Just give them a chance. Just one more. If they hurt me, you can yell at me all you want. You can tell me that I was an idiot!"

He would never yell at you, but he would be sure to tell you 'I told you so.'

|| We can talk until three in the morning
The sun'll rise I never want it to
Feelings for you came without warning
Ever since we met it's only you ||

Forcing a smile he laughed bitterly, "Damn, they're going to take my best friend away from me again?"

You punched him lightly, "Of course not! You'll always be number one to me!"

"Right?!" He gave you a reassuring smile despite the swelling he felt in his chest knowing damn well that he'd only reach so far as 2nd place.

|| Don't take this the wrong way
I want you to be happy
But it's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

"I guess I'm not surprised they'd come crawling back to you."

"Sorry, It must be pretty frustrating for you too," you smiled sweetly.

"It's okay, as long as you have no regrets."

|| Spending all of my time
Dancing on this fine line
It's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

"Well, I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah, of course," He gave you a quick hug and bid you goodbye. He probably wouldn't be talking to you any time soon. Playing pretend isn't easy. If he slipped up and you found out his feelings for you, it'd all be over. Even if it was just as friends, he didn't want to lose you.

|| I know you like the back of my hand
I want you more every day and
It's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

A part of him wished they'd hurt you again so you'd finally see that they weren't the one for you. That you'll come back to him for good, but another part of him hated seeing you get hurt.

|| Cause now I gotta play pretend
All you gotta do is let me be your man
Got a hold on me like quick sand
It's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

He just wants you to be happy, and if you found that happiness with someone else then he'd just have to grit his teeth and bare it.

That's how much he loved you.

"It's okay, It'll be okay. You're going to be just fine," He buried his face into his pillow as he dug his nails into his mattress, "don't you dare breakdown."

That night Goshiki had cried himself to sleep knowing you were dreaming of someone else.

|| Don't take this the wrong way
I want you to be happy
But it's hard to watch you fall again
Cause now I gotta play pretend ||

Song: "Play Pretend" by Alex Sampson

A/n
It's been a hot minute..
Well, not much changed since I still don't update frequently heh. It take awhile for me to find the motivation to write. I'm debating whether I should open up requests again so I'll be thinking about that. (Since i'm running out of ideas :P)
It may be too late to say happy new year but I hope everyone is doing alright:))
Bye bye