💔 / ☁️
ajsisksnsms idk why but I've been really excited to write this one- there's not enough trans reader one-shots if you ask me- but I hope I got all this information right! please let me know if anything's wrong/needs changing!
ALSO THERE'S A SMALL BIT OF ANGST DON'T HURT ME—
requested by @killiandmz !! i hope this is okay !!
presented by: THIS MAN'S THIGH HIGH KNEE PADS- WOO BOY-

"Alright everyone, practice is over! Let's get changed and head home!"

Everyone cheered after their coach announced the end of practice and began to head to the locker rooms. Bokuto bounced over to his long time crush, (M/N) (L/N). "Say (M/N), did you see my super cool cut shot today?!" He asked excitedly.

"Yes Bokuto, it was as amazing as usual," (M/N) chuckled. Bokuto grinned and cheered. He always loved receiving praise from (M/N). The team took their showers and went to the locker rooms to pack up and leave. However, (M/N) didn't shower and change. He said he'd do it at home. And right after, he noticed something missing from his bag. "Hey Bokuto, watch my locker, okay? I have to go grab my knee pads from the gym."

"Okie dokie!" Bokuto chirped as he finished changing. He opened his locker - which was next to (M/N)'s - and was putting something away when he noticed the door to (M/N)'s locker sway open. "Ah, must've opened from the impact of my locker! I'll just close this up-!" He mumbled to himself as he moved to close it, but froze when he saw what was inside. "Huh?"
On the shelf of (M/N)'s locker were small bottles and a case of alcohol pads, bandages, and syringe barrels. Bokuto grabbed one of the bottles and quickly read the labels. 'Testosterone?' He thought to himself. He heard footsteps approaching and quickly put the bottle back, shut the locker, then went back to his.

"Thanks Bokuto!" said (M/N), who tossed his kneepads in his bag and zipped it up. "I'll see you around, okay?" He smiled warmly before leaving. 

Bokuto blinked a few times, but uneasily smiled back and waved. "Bokuto-san, we should go," Akaashi spoke up as he walked in from the gym. Bokuto nodded and grabbed his stuff, biting his lip. "Is something wrong Bokuto-san?"

"I don't think so, but," Bokuto paused and pouted. "I think I need to talk to (M/N) tomorrow."

"Are you finally going to confess?"

Bokuto's face turned red and he looked at his setter in shock. "W-What?! Me?! Like (M/N)?! Agasheee, don't make jokes like t-that!" He tried to laugh it off, turning away.

"Bokuto-san, all of us know. You're not exactly the most secretive about these things," Akaashi chuckled, shaking his head. "But if it's not confessing, then what is it?"

Bokuto calmed down and sighed. "I.. Oh, it's nothing! I was just going to ask something!" He cheerfully played it off, grinning widely. Akaashi nodded and continued to walk with him. 'I just hope I don't get a bad answer. There's no way though, right? This is (M/N) I'm talking about!' Bokuto thought.

~~~

The next day, the tale seemed to repeat itself. Bokuto and (M/N) stood alone in the locker room, and while Bokuto was tugging on a new shirt, (M/N) was packing up his bag. Bokuto glanced at his locker door and sighed. "Hey (M/N)! We've known each other for a while, right?" He piped up, smiling a little.

"Hm? Yeah! Since first year," (M/N) replied. "Why?"

"Well.. you know you can trust me, right?" Bokuto tried to not be too straightforward; he wasn't sure how (M/N) was going to respond to the fact that he had snooped in his locker, even if it was by accident.

"Of course, I know that Bokuto," (M/N) said. He raised an eyebrow and stood up straight. "What's up with all these questions?"

"W-Well, uh.." Bokuto trailed off. He took a deep breath in and then blurted everything out. "Your locker door opened on its own yesterday so I went to close it and I accidentally looked inside and saw a bunch of bottles and a case inside! And I read the bottles and they said testosterone and I got worried; are you okay?! Are you getting addicted to steroids or something?! I was just really worried, but I didn't wanna ruin our friendship because you're really important to me, but your health is even more important! And if coach finds out, you could get kicked from the team! And all your scholarships could go away! And I just want the best for you, and don't even get me started on how much I-!"

"Koutarou, would you calm down and shut up?"

Bokuto looked back at (M/N) with a blush, eyes wide. (M/N) seemed a bit hurt, but there was also a small, sad smile on his lips. "No, I'm not getting addicted to steroids. And coach already knows. Uhm.. I've wanted to tell you for years b-but I-I know your f-family isn't the most supportive of people like m-me.."

"Like you?" Bokuto repeated.

(M/N) sighed and sat down on the bench behind him. He pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the side. Beneath it was a (F/C) sports bra. Bokuto could see breasts, and whatever was in Bokuto's hand fell to the floor. (M/N) turned away and grabbed something from his bag, took off his sports bra, then changed into the other item. When he looked at Bokuto again, his chest was basically completely flat. (M/N) let out a shaky breath. "Bokuto, I'm transgender," he said softly.

"Y-You're.. you're a girl..?"

(M/N)'s heart shattered. He looked back up at Bokuto, who's eyes were wide and his skin pale. "No.. I'm a boy," he murmured. He tugged his shirt back on and grabbed his bag. "I was just b-born in the wrong body. And.. and if you can't handle that, then.. I'm sorry, but I suppose this won't.. this friendship can't continue. Good night Bokuto," he spoke. His voice cracked towards the end, and he left in a hurry.

Akaashi walked in a few minutes later and found Bokuto sitting on the bench, head in his hands. "Did the confession not work out?" Akaashi worried, sitting down next to his older friend.

"Did you know?"

"Know what, Bokuto-san?"

"That.." Bokuto's voice was soft and quiet for once. This is Bokuto we're talking about; he's never soft and quiet. He's loud and boisterous. But in that moment, it felt as if all that cheeriness had left his body. "That (M/N) was a.. a girl..?"

Akaashi took a deep breath and sighed. "I.. always had an idea that he was trans.. but it's not my business to know that," he replied quietly. He stood back up and grabbed Bokuto's stuff. "Let's go."

They walked out the gym and school campus together, Bokuto being oddly quiet the whole time. Suddenly, he sat down on a bench on the sidewalk. Akaashi sighed and joined him. "It's w-wrong, at least that's what my parents always say.. so why do I still like him- her? Them?" Bokuto groaned.

"Bokuto-san, even if you don't understand it, you must call (M/N) by his pronouns and name," Akaashi said like a scolding mother. "It doesn't matter what your family believes. Personally, I think you need to reflect on this on your own, and not with their mindset. I hope you figure it out, because you are the captain of the team, and (M/N) is basically your right hand man, aside from me. Now let's go."

'Akaashi sounds protective,' Bokuto noted as he stood up and followed Akaashi. They got on their usual train and reached their station, where they then separated after Akaashi gave Bokuto his bag. Koutarou went home and sighed as he closed his front door.

Now, you're probably thinking, 'Wow, Bokuto is really out of character! He'd probably be really accepting!' but that simply isn't the case. Bokuto was accepting; he was accepting of his own sexuality, of other people's sexualities, and he was even accepting of all sorts of body types - he thought everyone was beautiful. That was how he was raised. But his parents had also raised him with the ideal that transgender people weren't right. That trying to change the gender God gave you is wrong.

He knew this. So why did he feel so guilty?

"Koutarou, hi! How was school?" His mother greeted with a sweet smile from the kitchen. He walked in and sat down at the table, seeming exhausted. "Oh, is everything alright?"

"Mom, is it wrong for me to like someone different?"

His mom paused her cooking and looked at her son. He certainly wasn't the Koutarou she was used to. She set down his dinner plate and sat next to him. "What do you mean honey?" She asked. "Do you mean you like a girl? Not a boy? That you're bisexual?"

"No but.." Koutarou groaned and laid his head down on the table. "Why is this so hard?!" He whined, his emo Bokuto mood starting to come into play.

"C'mon Kou, just tell me."

Koutarou held his head up and started to eat. "Well.. you remember (M/N)? That guy I really like?" He began to say, and his mother nodded with a smile. She liked (M/N), he and her got along wonderfully. "Well, he told me today that h-he's.. transgender," his voice broke into something softer.

His mother blinked a few times. "Really?" She said. But to his surprise, she didn't sound mad. Just surprised. "Well.. how do you feel about that?"

"Confused! And scared! And kinda mad?!" His energy began to return as he continued to eat. "Like- you and dad said being transgender is wrong! But I really really really like (M/N)- heck, can I say love?! Maybe?! And then, there's the problem that he didn't even tell me! AHSINEKSIWDJDDOS MAMA I'M LOSTTTT!" He cried out like a child, tears pricking in his eyes.

His mother chuckled and pat his head. "Calm down Koutarou," she said. He looked at her and pouted. "Listen.. just because your father and I don't accept those people doesn't mean you can't. I think you need to really think about this, okay? You're old enough now to form your own thoughts."

"But how..?"

"Do research or something, I don't know," She laughed as she stood up. "And tomorrow, you better take (M/N) his favorite snacks and some flowers to apologize."

"How did you know-?!"

"You're my son," she snorted. "I know everything baby."
She headed to the living room, leaving Koutarou to his own thoughts. He finished his dinner and got up, then headed to his room. He started looking up articles, blog posts, speeches, and more about being transgender and transgender people. He even read fanfiction of his favorite characters to help himself grow more comfortable.

By the end of the night, he said to himself, 'It doesn't matter if (M/N)'s trans.. he's a boy! And he's the boy I love!'

~~~

The next day, Bokuto walked into school with a bouquet of (favorite flowers) and some (favorite snack). He walked to (M/N)'s classroom and gulped, poking his head in. (M/N) was nowhere in sight. He rushed in, put the flowers and snack down on his desk, then quickly left.

That afternoon, Bokuto watched as (M/N) walked into the gym with a smile on his lips. He held his gifts in his arms, taking them to the locker room and putting them somewhere safe. When he walked back into the gym, his eyes met with Koutarou's and his smile fell. "Agashee, he hates me now!" Bokuto whispered to his setter, facepalming. "I'm an idiot!"

"Yes, yes you are," Akaashi sighed. "Just talk to him in the locker rooms. Apologize. I don't know if it's the best time to tell him how you feel, but I doubt you'll listen to me. Good luck."

Bokuto nodded. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he did know he was going to make this right.

When practice was over, Bokuto and (M/N) stood next to each other as they packed up. "So uh.. did you like the flowers?" He asked, cracking a small and weak smile.

"Yes," (M/N) responded quietly, glancing around to make sure nobody was around before taking his shirt off. He changed into his binder. "Whoever sent them was very nice."

"I-I'm glad you like them," Koutarou mumbled. "Because uhm.. t-they were from me. As an apology."
(M/N) cocked an eyebrow and looked at his friend. "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I was just thinking like an old man," he chuckled dryly. "But.. I went home and looked some stuff up. And I don't know your uh.. circumstances? Is that the word? I don't know what those were for you, but I saw what transgender people have to do! And that stuff- I could never do that!"

(M/N) shut his locker and looked at Bokuto, eyes a little wide. "What do you mean?" He mumbled. "You're Bokuto Koutarou.. you can do anything."

Bokuto grinned and shook his head, then took (M/N)'s hands in his. He looked into the boy's (E/C) eyes and laughed. "No way! Do you know how brave you have to be to do all that stuff?! Telling your parents, changing your name and pronouns, and giving yourself injections?! Dude, I would've passed out trying to give myself a shot! I'm a wimp with needles!" He said cheerily.
(M/N)'s cheeks flushed a bit pink. "And of course, you being brave enough to wear a sports bra and binder.. those must suck! And by the way, you better be taking care of yourself! I had no idea that binders could make breathing harder!"

(M/N) laughed and nodded, tears developing in his eyes. "Sometimes I feel like the weight of the world is on my chest," he whispered.

Bokuto smiled and squeezed his friend and crush's hands. "It's your world, and I'm lucky to be in it," he said softly. (M/N)'s eyes widened as tears began to slip down his cheeks, a smile gracing his perfect lips. "I don't expect you to forgive me right now. But.. I just wanted to say that I think you're the manliest man I know, and I love you for that-!"

They both froze.

"Did you say you..?"

"Oh my God! I'm sorry!" Bokuto squawked, covering his mouth. "I ruined this! Damnit! I'm the worst friend and captain ever, ughhhh!" He whined, hitting his head against the locker next to him.

"Koutarou, you m-moron!"

Koutarou looked at his best friend, who was now sobbing and smiling widely. Were those.. happy tears? Bokuto got a little worried. "You absolute m-moron! I l-love you too!" He laughed weakly, trying to wipe away the tears on his cheeks.

"(M-M/N)?"

(M/N) jumped at Koutarou, who quickly caught him in his strong arms. "I wanted to tell you for so long, and when you said that stuff yesterday.. I got so scared I'd lose you..!" He sobbed, broken heart trying to reassemble itself. "I thought.. I thought you'd hate me! B-But you- you really looked up all that?! For me?!"

"Of course I did!" Bokuto exclaimed, pulling (M/N) out of his chest and looking into his eyes once again. "I'd do anything for you! And what kind of best friend am I going to be if I don't know what you go through, or how to help you?"

"Best friend?" (M/N) chuckled. He wiped his tears away and raised an eyebrow. "That's all we are? After you just said you love me?"

Bokuto blushed and rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I-I mean I f-figured that you wouldn't want to date the idiot that was a complete a-asshole to you yesterday.. plus, I had gone through your stuff before that, when I saw the bottles.."

(M/N) giggled and kissed Bokuto's cheek. "I've liked you since last year, Kou. I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you about myself. I guess we both messed up, huh?" He said. Koutarou smiled bashfully and nodded. (M/N) smiled and grabbed his bag and flowers. "Now, let's get Akaashi and get you guys to the train station, okay?"

Bokuto nodded and closed their lockers, then grabbed his bag. But before (M/N) could leave, he yelled, "Wait!"

(M/N) turned around, then felt something brush against his nose and lips. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but those few seconds were bliss.

"I'm so happy (M/N)!" Bokuto exclaimed as he hooked his arm around (M/N)'s shoulder. "Do you know if you're ever gonna have the top surgery? I'd be happy to help you pay for it! Ooh, and bottom surgery, whenever you need that! Not that you need it, but I just wanna know whatever's comfortable for you!"

(M/N) giggled and leaned his head into Koutarou's chest, feeling the muscles beneath. "It's okay Koutarou. Baby steps, Kou, baby steps. I'm just happy you've accepted me," he said softly.

Koutarou relaxed and warmly smiled. He kissed (M/N)'s head. "Of course. You're the boy I love, (M/N)."

~ ♡ ~
sjdisjsskxosjx i really like this one,,, and I hope you guys do too !! and i hope I got everything right!!
you guys mean a whole lot to me, and i always want to make sure you guys feel happy/comfortable/safe here !! if you need to talk to me, my discord is astrid#2031 !! im more active there now !!

next up: kuroo/tsukki x insecure! male reader