Chapter five

"You know I work hard to keep this a secret from your mother... But... She wants to visit you, today..." I widened my eyes, slowly taking my arm from Makki.
Shit, why is my life destroying itself right now?!

.

"Why are you reacting like that? It's only your mom..." My beautiful beloved said after Kimizuki went outside. "Oh you don't know my mother. It's not only my mom..." I sighed and laid back on my bed, crossing my arms behind my head. "Life's got shitty right now..." Makki looked a bit mad at me, sitting on my lap. "Hey, you still got me, Mattsun. We will work it out! I mean, how long do you already live with the tumor? I bet a couple of months. This small rebound won't keep our chin down." He was looking at me serious. Small rebound? Small?
"You're right. I'm sorry... Because of you, I don't want to leav-" He suddenly kissed me. I chuckled a bit and kissed him softly back. "I get it I get it... Sorry, I'll get better pretty soon, needing just new pills..." Makki let out a relived sigh and giggled. "That sounds much better." He smirked, when suddenly the door opened. It was Kimizuki again. "Matsu, your mother is here." She sounded hurried and looked back, if my mother was already behind her. "Shit. Makki can you-" And there she was. The shrill, panicked voice of my mother. "Kawa-kun??" My mother looked around and I shoved my strawberry aside hastily, already feeling guilty. But I couldn't care right now about that. "Mom, hey." I mumbled and stood up. As she saw me, she ran to me and hugged me tightly, nearly squeezing me to death. "I heard everything! Oh Kawa, you're still so young... I'm so sorry, I'm such a bad mother..." She started to cry and I patted her back a bit. "No no... You're a great mom..." I tried to gesture Makki, that he should leave the room, but he didn't move. I'm sorry babe, but please just go...
"No I'm horrible... God...You already increased your dose twice, why didn't you tell me before?" She looked up to me, having dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes were teary. "I didn't want to concern you... Now sit down mom, I'm fine..." I pushed her down softly and stroke her shoulder. I know realised, that Makki sat next to her. Fuck.
"Kawa-kun, wh- Huh? Who are you? Are you on Kawa-kun's university?" My mother faced Makki, looking a bit sceptical. I knew that she thought about, whether she should dislike him or not.
"No I'm not. My name is Takahiro Hanamaki. Nice to meet you. And I'm Matts-" I put my hand on his mouth. "He's a friend I met here. We both have the same fate and became friends." Even though I sounded calm, I wasn't. And my Strawberry realised it, I'm sure about that. My mother raised one of her eyebrows a bit. "Matsukawa, he's also ill? He will worsen your situation!" Now she looked angrily at me. I didn't know what to say, but Strawberry already started to talk. "Excuse me, but I'm still here. And my illness is not  catching." He had clenched his fists. My mother looked away. Oh shit.
"I was talking to my son Takahiro-san. And I don't know why you are answering for him." I can't believe she's this disrespectful right now. Fuck I have to do something. But... It's my mom...
"Your son fucked me in the ass!" He yelled and then silence. NO WHAT?!
I started to sweat a bit, my heartbeat fastened. "What did you say...?" She was calm and looked Strawberry in the eyes now. "Your. Son. Fucked. My. Ass." Makki was looking in her eyes too. Looking completely serious.
Now both turned their heads, facing me.
"Kawa, is he right?" She slowly said, her voice nearly a whisper. "Tell her the truth Mattsun." I stared at both of 'em. Being completely overwhelmed by the situation. "Uh..." I run my hand through my hair, scratching my neck. "As if my son would be with someone like... you." She mumbled more to herself. Makki widened his eyes, wanting to say something back to her, but apparently he couldn't. "That's enough... Then lie to her, you don't have to visit me again, Matsukawa." My precious and perfect beloved said, standing up and going to the door.
My reflexes were faster than my mind. I was holding his wrist, I didn't want to let him go. Makki looked at me surprised and I saw, that he had to smile. But the problem was, I couldn't talk. Like I said, my reflexes were faster than my mind. "Kawa-kun now tell me your relationship with this guy!" She was getting louder and I started to panic. "Don't touch me if you won't tell her the truth!" Makki joined her, both started to yell at me. "God damn it would you shut up?! Yes I am in a relationship with him, mother." Silence.
After a long while, what actually was only like a minute, my mother stood up, looked me in the eyes and then made a face, which I would never forget. Disappointment and disgust. At that moment I knew, I chose Makki over my one and only family.
"I knew I'm a horrible mother. My only son is gay and has a deadly disease." She shook her head a bit and went outside the room.
My heart ached as she left and I sat down on the bed. I know my mother doesn't sound lovely and warm, but she's still my mother. And I love her, we only have us both. Or well, had... And now... I ruined everything. 
I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes. Makki slowly sat next to me and leaned his head against my shoulder. He didn't say anything, but I did. "Hey, could you leave for today? I'm sorry, but... Hah... I'm not gonna lie, I just want to be alone right now, 'kay?" I didn't even look at him, ignoring the guilt and remorse I felt. That's why I couldn't see his reaction, what was good. "O-Okay... We'll see us tomorrow." He stood up and added a whispered: "Right?" I nodded, sighing a bit. "Yeah yeah, just leave me alone right now, please..." Makki was hurt, I felt that. He went outside my room and after a while, I stood up, going down, wanting to go to the cafeteria, but stopped at the notice-board.

Lung cancer gathering!
Meet new people with the same fate as you! Laugh and joke with them!

Where? Community hall next to the Hospital
When? 02.04.20XX at 6 pm.
Age? 18+

We're looking forward, I hope you too, stay positive:)

Even though it sounded a bit ridiculous, I'm mean on the flyer was a lung with a smiling face, it resembled more an invitation to a preschooler's birthday, than an actual gathering for people with lung cancer, I really thought about going to that gathering with my strawberry. That's why I took the flyer.
After I took my food, I saw Kimizuki eating, so I went to her and sat in front of her. "Hey..." I mumbled as I bit in my sandwich. She was reading some documents and ate a slime like pap they call food. "Oh Matsu-kun, thought you would stay with your boyfriend." She giggled a bit, completely forgetting the incident with my mother. "Well, he had to go... But I have a question." Kimizuki stopped giggling, looking at me surprised. I didn't ask her questions very often. "Yeah sure." I took a deep breath, staring at my sandwich. "Could I donate an organ..?" My voice was only a whisper, but in the quiet cafeteria, it sounded like I just had screamed it. "What? Matsu, your tumors' spreading had begun a cycle in your body. It's nearly impossible!" She laughed a bit and shook her head. "Nearly? That means it's possible! If my lungs aren't afflicted, that means..." Kimizuki stopped laughing and was serious now. "You're talking about your pinky with lung cancer, right? Matsu-kun, your body is nearly full of cancer cells, even though they aren't aggressive right now. Your boyfriend would die, if cancer cells are in your lungs." I had to interrupt her again, I won't give up.
"You said if and nearly. That means there is a chance. Please Kimizuki...I... Really love this boy.." Silence.
Suddenly she let out a sigh, showing me that she gave in. "Okay, let's go to the WBCT (whole-body computed tomography)." Deep inside me, I smiled happily and brightly. Maybe I can save my sweetheart...

~Short Hanamaki  POV~
The next day

I really felt bad because of the whole Mattsun's mother thing. God damn it, it's all my fault... He really loved his mother. I hope I can cheer him up today. I looked at the mirror, putting as much concealer as I could. The chemo is really sucking the life out of my body, but the worst is already over. I took my pills and sighed a bit. I don't want to die anymore because of Mattsun... I'm even kinda afraid of it now...

I went to the hospital, still wearing the shirt Mattsun left at my place and smiling happily. As I went inside, I already saw the nurse, whom I talked to yesterday. "Oh, hey Takahiro-kun, what are you doing here?" Kimizuki smiled a bit tired. Huh? Did something happened? Why is she so tired?
"I wanted to visit him, he usually is waiting outside, is everything okay?" I had to admin, I was worried as hell. "Well, he doesn't look very good, so don't be frightened, but I'm sure he can go outside." She yawned and sat down. I only nodded slowly, mumbled a hurried 'Thanks' and went upstairs to Mattsun. As I opened the door, he was already awake, watching TV.
"Kimizuki, I still wa-" he stopped as he saw me and smiled immediately, what made me happy. But his appearance didn't make me happy at all. His normally a bit darker skin was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. How could this happen in only one day?
"Mattsun..." I went to him and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders  and pressed me closer against his body. "I have something for you..." I smirked a bit and took out a paper, what made him chuckle softly. "Now I'm curious." He said as he took the paper from me. I giggled and looked at him eager.
"Makki..." Mattsun mumbled quietly and I saw that he was touched and happy about it. Yes!

~Matukawa's POV~

I was touched, even though it's a bit ridiculous.

My To-Do list ♡

1. Tell him your name✔
2. Go to the bridge in the park by night
3. Go ice skating
4. Steal clothes from a shop
5. Give him a real kiss ✔
6. Make out in public areas✔
7. Make pictures in a photo booth
8. Rent an expensive as fuck car for a day
9. Go on a playground
10. Fall in love with him✔

I chuckled a bit and slowly stood up. Makki upheld me, so I didn't collapse. "We're gonna do all those points, I promise." I looked at him and he smiled brightly, kissing me once. "Ah and I have something for you too.." I took out the flyer and gave it to him.
He raised an eyebrow as he read what stood there. "What is this? Do you really want to go there Mattsun?" He laughed, folding the flyer. I remained serious and nodded. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but let's go there anyway..." My Strawberry apparently realised that I meant it like I said it. He chuckled a bit. "Yeah okay. If you want to..." I nodded satisfied.

.

"Mattsun...There are so many people with lung cancer... It's really weird... Look some of them are wearing a breathing mask..." Makki sighed as he saw the crowd of people. "Don't worry honey, I'll get us some drinks, search for a place to sit, yeah?" I kissed his cheek, what made him blush a bit. "Okay... But don't take too long..." He mumbled a bit uneasy, searching for a place to sit.

I went to the 'bar' and ordered two drinks, when suddenly a man started to talk to me, he was in his mid fifties. "Are you also a patient or just a friend, or family?" He said, ordering a beer. "Uh... My beloved has lung cancer, stadium 2a.. And you?" I mumbled, taking my money out of my pocket. "My wife, stadium 3. Oh man... I'm just giving you a tip. Leave her. It's not worth it... I love my wife, I really do, but I wouldn't go through it again... The cancer took her beauty and self-confidence. And most of all, her beautiful voice and laugh..." His voice got quieter with every word and he stared on his beer. I didn't now what to say or to do, so I remained silent. "Well, just saying. Leave her, you will get hurt..." The elder man bowed once politely and went back, where he came from. What the hell was that?
I shook my head and went to Makki. I'll do anything for him, he will survive.

The gathering was pretty funny. I saw, that Makki enjoyed it. They made jokes and everyone laughed, with a hoarse voice and coughing though.
"Thank you so much that we went to this gathering. It was fantastic!" His face shined with happiness, what made me smile. I took his hand and went outside the hospital. "I knew you would like it..." I kissed his cheek softly and we both went for a small walk. His fettle improved since that gathering.

.

Days past quickly. My fettle, however, worsened even more. I got skinnier and some of my hair were already falling out. We made everything on my Strawberry's to-do list. The day after the gathering, we went ice skating and realised that I was really horrible in it. Makki had to hold my hands, while we skated. We even fell on the ground cliché like and made out on the ice, we even ignored the people, who were staring at us. The other day we went to a shop, putting on some expensive clothes and then we just ran out of the shop, until now, they didn't catch us. The third day we made those pictures in a photo booth, we even made out in it while it was taking pictures. I love those photos. On the sixth day we rent the car. I was driving and Makki ordered me to wear sunglasses, while driving. He said I looked pretty cool. And after driving through the city, we went to the playground, going on a slide and swing together. We even built a sandcastle. The children there were mad at us, but we didn't even care.
Every point was made, except of point two. I saved this one up.
My condition is pretty bad, like I mentioned before. I even have to take the wheelchair now. But that wasn't what I wanted to tell you. Today was the day. You will find out what I mean.

Makki pushed the wheelchair through the park. The stars were already shining brightly and nearly no one was in the park. He wheeled me to the bridge, where he stopped. "We're here... It's so romantic Mattsun, don't ya think?" My precious strawberry chuckled a bit, leaning on the bridge parapet, looking at the small river. "Mhm..." Was the only sound I made, as I took a deep breath and slowly stood up. My legs were trembling and I clung on the parapet. I even started to pant a bit. Great.
As Makki realised it, he widened his eyes in shock, wanting to help me, but I raised an arm. "No... I have to make this alone..." I mumbled and took out a letter from my pocket. "Read it..." He took it slowly, looking at me a bit confused, but also curious.

"Dear Makki, or my precious, crazy little strawberry, we aren't together that long, only 2 months, but it feels like years to me. I immediately  in love with you... Your appearance, your voice, your looks, yes, even with your clothing style and horrible jokes. I love everything about you... But we have to be realistic... I'm not feeling well lately... But we shouldn't e-end like this... I want to be together with you....forever, that even rhymed-" He chuckled there a bit.
"I'm not a man of many words..." He started to make longer breaks, tears started to fill his eyes. "B-But..." He slowly lowered his hand, looking at me, crying. I was on my knees, trembling like crazy, but not falling over. I opened a small box where another small piece of paper was. "Take it out, sweetheart..." I whispered, he nodded hasty and took it. As he read it, the look on his face changed into confusion. "Tattoo parlour...? What?" I chuckled a bit. "You know...I want to be together with you, even after death. Not the till death do us part shit. That's why I want to tattoo our wedding rings. If death is taking me, he won't take my ring, he can't. So... If you'll come to me, not so soon please, we will be married, even in heaven... So Hanamaki Takahiro, do you want to marry me and make me the happiest man in the world...?" It really was hard for me to stay on my knees like that. Makki's eyes widened a bit, he laughed loudly, cried even more and nodded hasty. "Yes, yes billions of times yes!" He collapsed on his knees and hugged me tightly, kissing my whole face. I started to laugh a bit. "Then let's go... Let's do it now." I smiled at him, again he nodded hasty and kissed me once with his whole passion.

.
.
.

~Hanamaki's POV~
(Now till the end of the story)

The way to the hospital was my daily route now, because Mattsun can't go outside anymore. He's laying in his bed, got an infusion an sometimes even needs a breathing mask. It's really hard to look at him. He even wears my beanie with pompoms, just because so I don't have to see his bald head, but I love him anyway, more than anything else. And he's my husband now.
I had to smile brightly, looking at my tattooed wedding ring. I had Matsukawa's name and beautiful floral tendrils around my finger. It's already eight days ago.
As I went to Mattsun's room, I saw Kimizuki. She smiled at me. "Hey, Hana-kun, I have some news from Dr. Hayashi. He has a lung for you... We could make an operation in one or two weeks... I know it's surprisingly at short notice, but think about it..." She wasn't looking at me and went back down to the reception. Why so sudden? I thought I wouldn't get a lung...

I went into Mattsun's room, he was watching TV. The look on his face was even more tired than usual, but as he saw me, he started to smile, his face lightened up. "Hey sweetheart..." His voice was a quiet whisper, but I understood him, sitting down next to him and taking his hand. "Hey Mattsun... And? Feeling better...?" I took his hand, kissing it and stroking it softly with my thumb. He chuckled a bit. "Are you making a joke right now? Dying is pretty shitty, but oh well... Guess God will take me soon... Or Satan, don't know yet..." He laughed quietly and closed his eyes. I wished I could laugh too, but somehow I couldn't, tears started to stream down my face, without me noticing it. I let go of his hand and hugged him tightly, burying my face into his chest and crying into it. "Hey... Makki, don't cry... Don't do this to me..." He mumbled, wrapping his skinny arms around me and softly stroking my back. "I'm sorry M-Mattsun...I want to l-laugh and smile... But I-I can't... You don't deserve t-this... I should-" He interrupted me with a kiss. I felt a rush of tingling, running through my whole body.
"No one deserves this. And especially not you, Hanamaki." He looked me deep in the eyes and I calmed down a bit, nodding slowly. "I'm sorry... But it's so unfair, why you? You were the one who showed me the right path... And love... And... God damn it..." I let out a frustrated sigh, looking away. He was still holding my face, softly whipping away my tears. "When you're in a garden full of flowers... Which one do you pick...?" He chuckled a bit, smiling at me. I widened my eyes, looking at him again. "The most beautiful one..." My voice was a whisper, and Mattsun nodded. "Your speech, my dear." He took his hands from my cheeks, laid back again and closed his eyes. "That's all too depressing... I want to die with your laugh and smile Makki... Not with your tears..." He said quietly, taking my hand, still letting his eyes closed. "I'll try... As long as I'm trying, don't die... Promise...?" I mumbled, pressing his hand a bit. He chuckled again and nodded. "I promise, but I don't know if I have to lie to you..." That was when I smiled a bit. "Oh c'mon, you wouldn't lie to your wife would you? You remember your wife, right?" I laughed a bit and he opened his eyes again, looking at me. "Of course. Her name is on my finger and it was pretty fucking painful and expensive." That made me laugh even more and Mattsun chuckled softly. "That's my baby..." He whispered and kissed my hand. I smiled at him. "You're such a charmer..." Carefully, I laid down next to him, watching out for the infusion and snuggling up his scrawny hip and chest. "I have good news for a change... I'm gonna get an organ donation, the operation would be next week... I don't know if I should do it..." I mumbled. Mattsun didn't look at me, he was staring at the ceiling. "...Do it..." He whispered after a really long while. "You sure..?" He nodded, again, after a while. "Is everything okay Mattsun?" I was a bit concerned. When he faced me, I saw the most beautiful smile I ever saw on him. "Please do it Makki."
I was so touched, that I didn't even have to think about it again. That's why I nodded, kissing him once. "I'll do it... But stay alive 'kay? Promise me. I'm gonna give you the best blowjob ever!" I laughed a bit and Mattsun chuckled. But didn't say anything.
We both chatted through the night, laughing and having fun.

It was the last time we spoke and laughed together. Mattsun didn't break any promise. He didn't promise me to be alive after my operation, he stayed alive until he heard me laughing and finished every point on my list with me. I still remember the day, when I realised the lung was from him.

"Kimizuki, where's Mattsun? Did he get a new room?" Because of the preparations of my operation, I hadn't had seen him for two weeks. It were the most horrible two weeks in my life. I was really concerned and even a bit panicked. Kimizuki looked at me. She had red swollen eyes and dark circles under them. What?
"Sorry Hana-kun... But you have to get ready for the operation.." She said quietly, rubbing her eyes. Huh?! "First I want to see Mattsun!" I said serious, crossing my arms. I never saw Kimizuki like that before. She was irritated and just pushed me into a room, which was apparently my room. "Now get ready." With this sentence she closed the door. What the hell...? I only want to see Mattsun before the operation...
I sighed a bit and took off my clothes. I went to the small shower, taking a shower and after I dried myself up, I put on the scrub shirt, which was laying on the bed. That was when a nurse came in with a wheelchair. I sat down and she drove me to the surgery.

When I woke up the first thing what came to my mind was: Mattsun, I'm alive. I was so happy, but because of the anesthesia, I still felt a bit dizzy.
As I felt a hand on my arm I had to smile a bit. "Honey... You're so cute, you waited the who-" It wasn't Mattsun's hand on my arm though. A sleeping Kimizuki started to cuddle with my arm, rubbing her wet cheek against it. Did she cry? On my account?
"Hey...Kimizuki..." I whispered, softly shaking her. "Mhm...?" She slowly woke up, yawning. As she realised, that I was talking to her, her eyes widened. The look on her face told me, that she was relived and sad at the same time. "I'm glad you made it Hana-kun... Your body accepted the new organ..." She smiled, but still sadly. "Yeah... But where's Mattsun? Is he sleeping near this room?" Kimizuki's smile faded away. "I should give you this..." She whispered as she gave me a letter and a key.

Hey honey,
I'm really missing you right now... It's so lonely and boring here, even the sun won't come out without your smile. Makki, I have to tell you the truth, I'm not feeling very well and I'm pretty sure I'm going to die after this letter... So let me say:
The key, Kimizuki gave you (hopefully) is the one to my flat. In my flat should be a box, which is packed with some of my clothes, old pictures, yearbooks and stuff. Everything can be yours if you want to. I let Kimizuki draw cash from my account, it's all yours. If she didn't take it, I mean... Nurses don't earn much money, do they? But anyway. I hope you can do something with my trash.
Shit, I'm kinda afraid of death... But you now what I'll do then? I'll look at my tattooed wedding ring with the most beautiful name in the world and all my worries are gone.
So... Let me finish by saying... I love you Makki, more than anything. And don't cry for me, I would be pretty sad... I would not only be sad, but feel guilty too if you would loose your laugh because of me. I'll watch you from above all the time. I'm sure even when you're showering so watch out! I'm sorry, this should be serious... Go to your garden and pick the most beautiful flowers for me.
I managed to save you, I can die in peace. Please don't visit me quickly in heaven. Have a great peaceful life...

Love, your Mattsun~♡

I didn't even realise what I read there. "Wait... When did he..." She interrupted me sadly.
"Don't you now your organ donor...?" She whispered, not looking at me
My eyes widened in shock, I put my hand on my neck, staring at the ground. But then I started to laugh a bit, without a hoarse voice. "Oh c'mon, that's such an tumblr post right? You say that and now Mattsun will come out the bathroom or a hidden door right? Right?" I laughed, but it was panicked and nervous. Kimizuki only shook her head sadly, adding nothing to it.
That was when I got my first mental breakdown.

After that day, I needed a therapy, because I couldn't handle it. I even stopped smoking because of the fact, that this was Mattun's lung. I wouldn't destroy his lung. On his funeral were only some of his old friends, Iwaizumi, Kindaichi and Kunimi, they all were haunted by guilt, I saw it. They were kinda okay, I told them about us and our whole story. I hope you're not mad at me because of it honey... They neither freaked out nor were disgusted. We even went together to his flat, looking through old yearbooks and pictures he left me. We are spending some time together now.
But his mother wasn't there. I hated this bi- Sorry, no curses. Apparently she committed suicide, I don't now. I moved in his flat. I was only wearing his clothes, reading the books he read and am now even looking for a job, his friend helped me with it. And every time I missed him, I thought about the things we made, looking at the pictures out of the photo booth or others and then on my tattoo. At night I would look in the sky and I'm pretty sure I found the star, which is Mattsun. I'll talk with him every night.
Mattsun was buried next to his father's grave. I visit him every day, brining him the most beautiful flower I picked up in the park.

THE END

4938 WORDS!!!!

I'm so sorry that it took me that long to update. Hope you're not mad at me >.<
And I finished the short story with my meme bros, yaaaay....
Okay not yay, nearly cried, even though I wrote it myself T^T

Hope you enjoyed it anyway...And we will see us in the next chapter of The lost forest spirit or/and Hybrid, love ya guys, bye~♡