"I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count."(verse 10)

RC's wife died of thoracic aneurysm. Widower for forty years, loneliness had been his faithful companion. He used to receive dinner invites when his wife was still alive, and they stopped coming once she was gone. RC felt isolated. Worse, he was left alone by the church to deal with his children's mourning. "The church community operates on the basis of a structure that is status. And so, they don't start to think that these children are missing a parent," he said, adding, "And not think of creating something for them ....so that, contribute to their coming to an understanding that her death is part of life."

Single parents' task is overwhelming. They exert more effort and run in deficit. They lose their self-value and worth as they go through the loss and rejection of a failed relationship. There are comprehensive long-term emotional, economic, and psychological effects of divorce on adults and children.

In Genesis 16:10, God blessed Hagar, "I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count." The church must do the same. It is not enough that the church recognizes the presence of single parents. We must help them increase. We must fill in what is lacking in their lives, whether it is in self-esteem, companionship.

As RC transitioned to single parenthood, he didn't seek counseling but relied on his faith to carry him through. Looking back, he wished the church was able to go beyond asking "How are you?" The better question would be, "How are you really going through?" The church gave him a book on grief, which he deemed was useless. He left the book on the table and let it collect dust. "What's the use of a book?" he asked, adding, "It would have been better if there was someone who read it alongside with me and prayed with me after." Intimacy for RC meant friendship. "What was lacking in my case was to have somebody to come by and talk with me at least 15 minutes. I had to draft, find a way to certain myself spiritually internally and not externally."

RC felt that the church leadership failed since they didn't see the big picture. They did not make sure that everyone was cared for. He realized that intellectual Christianity is different from the heart of God. God's love is meant to be experienced and not memorized. He wished the church would cease seeing people based on their status, single or married, rich or poor.

"Who do we gravitate to? We must change the way we see people. We must remove pride. We must include everyone," he imparted.

Short prayer:

Dear God,

Thank You for your constant provision. Thank You for Your grace that carries us through our trials. While we aspire for a complete family and fulfilling life, things happen. We know it hurts for single parents to have a constant hole in their lives that will never be filled in. There are wounds that last, just like You kept Your wounds in Your resurrected body to remind us that You are always present when we suffer, that we are never alone, and that when we pray, we are embraced by Your divine empathy. We pray that the church will be able to open its arms to these single parents that You put in our care and give them a warm embrace, so they are made aware that we see and love them.

Amen.

"There are no cripples in the kingdom of God. Someone must meet someone's needs. When someone's need is not provided, it is not because he is not asking, but because someone is disobeying God." ---RC, 80-year-old widower.