Max didn't know what to expect as he drove into the country. Dover wasn't foreign to him because their private high school pulled from a large radius. He hadn't expected a farm or a defiant Olivia. She looked so beautiful and innocent in her long cheerful dress. It didn't match his mood. Then his small head woke up and wondered what she was wearing underneath her dress as his eyes lingered on her swollen breasts. He shouldn't want to put his face in them and breathe in her scent.

Instead, he was the pecker who kept his distance. Hearing her say he was her only one soften him for a second until he realized the truth. No matter how much he avoided it, he was going to have a new title. He worked half his life for the title of MD and intended to earn more letters after his name. Max never wanted to be called dad, but a life was growing and he was responsible for it. A cold sweat cover him as he thought about so many things that could go wrong. First, he had to face his parents. It was worse than his very first live incision.

Max had been on call and only slept for a few hours each night. He felt depleted. What could he give a child? A few hours a week and every third week he would have to walk away if his phone rang.

So much of their conversation was about Olivia's job and her staying. He felt overwhelmed. The whole time he kept thinking that he had condoms in his drawer. During his years of training, he had envisioned his future life as somewhere between random hookups with the Steph's of the world and married with a kid. That outcome had meant standing by while Olivia fell in love and moved on. She didn't follow the rules. He hadn't followed his own rules. The truth was, if they were alone in a room, he would want to taste every inch of her.

The drive to his parents' house was too short. He had settled nothing in his mind. Lois looked up from her phone. "Another long day." He nodded. "Did you eat?" Nodding again, he hadn't, but didn't trust his stomach to hold down food. Sleep. He just needed sleep.

"Goodnight." He would wait to see the disappointment on their proud faces.

Procrastination was his friend as he avoided talking to his parents all week. Feeling pushed against the wall, Max attempted to come to terms with his fate. He thought of Ian's father who did the right thing and he was still a teen. Olivia wanted something different from her young mother, she wanted the complete package, a family. When Max left the office on Thursday in time for a swim before dinner, he questioned his logics.

With his balls in a proverbial vise, he contacted the leasing agent and switched from his one bedroom. Only a three bedroom was available which pissed him off to have a bigger place than he needed with a higher rent. An office might be useful since he could complete documentation away from the hospital. He spent Thursday night catching up on a week of notes.

Olivia had texted him asking if he told anyone. He had an anvil hanging over him ready to drop on his head. Instead of breaking the news to his parents, he made plans with his brother. Just us, he emphasized. He took the subway to meet Zach by his brother's work on Friday.

Zach was sitting at the bar when he arrived. The restaurant had a large busy bar area. Zach smiled. "You're done working and the sun's up."

"Office hours today and I'm not on call."

"I enjoy having you around. Did you want the dining room or stay in the bar?"

He looked around. The bar was loud. Maybe no one would overhear. "Can we grab the table in the back?"

Zach nodded and led the way. Max needed a stiff drink and ordered a scotch straight up.

Zach teased. "Tough week."

Max's lips were a straight, thin line. "You could say that."

Zach sat forward. "Did you lose a kid?"

The older brother shook his head ignoring the irony. "It's nothing like that." The server put down their drinks and turned away. Max took a long sip and let it warm his throat and chest on the way down — liquid courage. He cleared his throat. "I need you to promise me you'll keep a secret. I mean you can't tell Lilli."

"Yeah. I can do that. I kept my feelings for her secret for two years."

Max laughed despite his nervousness. "That's different. You were too chicken. Promise?"

"Yes. What's going on?"

"I, um, talked to Olivia."

Zach leaned close. "Did she tell you who the pecker is?"

Max sighed. "She didn't have to. I knew. Remember, she was my plus-one for...?"

"Fuck! Max, she was just supposed to be your date. You weren't supposed to." Zach ran his hands through his hair. "You slept with our Livvy."

"I was so stupid not to use a condom."

"I'd say. Mom and Dad and Uncle Kurt! Do they know?"

He shook his head. "I'm telling you first. It's a tough thing to sink in. I never planned to have a kid. I wanted to be an uncle to yours."

"Now I'm going to be an uncle. Tell me again why a smart doctor forgot to use a fucking condom?"

He sighed. "I thought she was on the pill like she was before."

"Before? What before? When? Are you dating?"

"No, no. It was only once a long time ago. I was in med school and afterward she dated your friend."

"David?" Zach closed his eyes. "All these years it was you!"

"Me?"

Zach sighed and took a drink. Max followed his brother, draining much of his glass.

"I never knew what happened with David, except he said she didn't like him enough. Ever since David, she would go out once or twice with guys, but never more. She never had sex with any of them. It's because of you."

Max looked down. He knew Zach was right. He finished his drink.

Zach grabbed his arm and squeezed. "She loves you, doesn't she? I know it was never me. Fuck! For how long?" Max shrugged. His brother stared at him. "What candy did Duff give you that day in the basement?"

Max's gut churned. "Do I have to answer?"

"You just did. It was lemon. Do you love her?"

"I don't want what she wants. My career..."

"Bullshit! That's not the question I asked. How would you feel if another man took her as his wife, slept with her every night, made her come in his bed?" Max tightened his hold on his glass. "If any of those things happened with Lill, I would never recover. Love is hard to describe, but my wife is embedded in my heart."

"Medically, that's not possible."

"You're a jerk. You're going to be tied to Olivia the rest of your life. If you love her, don't blow it. If you don't, please do not hurt her."

"Can you be my brother and not her best friend for just a little while?"

Zach looked at him for a long moment before his face softened. "You're going to be a father. Do you know when?"

"She didn't say, but around the first of the year. Do you have any idea how many sick kids I've seen? It's a lot easier not to get too involved."

"You're involved. Mom is going to freak and then she'll go shopping. If she's in New York and you're here, you'll be repeating history."

"She's not in New York. She said she's moving here no matter what."

"What about her job?"

"She claims she's just the boss's daughter. I know she inherited a lot of money."

"In an offshore account?"

Max shrugged. "I couldn't say, but her father settled with the government. He didn't die a wanted man."

"Olivia never told me. I suddenly feel like I don't know her."

"You do too. She loves you."

"Not the way she loves you."

Max didn't bother to deny it. He groaned. "How the hell do I tell Mom and Dad?"

Zach chuckled. "Man, I don't know, but I'd be worried about Uncle Kurt."

"He'll hate me."

"Unless you do the right thing."

"Fuck. I switched my one bedroom for a bigger place."

Zach smiled. "I can't wait until I can tell Lilli."

Max barked, "You promised."

"I know. This is a bigger deal than the pregnancy leak. You must have freaked when I told you."

"You think?"

Zach smiled. "You made a life. I wish Lilli was ready, but she would kill me if I suggested it."

"You'll be a better father than me." Max would only let his kid down.

"I don't believe you. Sure you worked hard to become a doctor, but you deserve a life and love."

Max bit his tongue before he started an argument. Feeling pushed in a corner, he was ready to lash out. The pattern he had fallen into was failing him, since he had permanently taken up residence in the corner.

The brothers finished their drinks, and Zach left to go home to his wife. Max had to go home to his parents, aka the firing squad. He could procrastinate all weekend, but the stress was eating him from the inside out. On the train, he texted Olivia. Zach knows.

The minute he walked in the house, his mother jumped up and hounded him. "You're late. Did you eat?"

At thirty-three having to answer for himself, his skin felt itchy, and he took deep breaths. Controlling stress including annoyance was paramount in the OR.

"Actually, I met Zach for a drink. I'll grab something."

"There are leftovers. I never know if you'll be home."

He sighed. "I should have texted. I'm so used to being on my own."

Lois frowned. "And you will be again soon enough."

Moving into his apartment suddenly felt complicated.

Lois's face brightened. "How are Zach and Lilli?"

He stuck his head in the fridge. She was right behind him when he straightened out with a container of something he could never make for himself. "Mom, I can heat it up. Sit."

His dirty clothes kept showing up on his bed clean and folded. As much as he had hated the laundromat, he could wash his own boxers in his mother's utility room.

"It was just Zach, but he's still happy as a lark." Whatever a lark is.

"You'll find yours."

He froze, taking the dish out of the microwave. "Hey, dad." It was a tradeoff. His father might calm his mother, but he hated the look of disappointment in Michael's eyes.

Michael looked up from his book. Lois studied his face, as he sat down next to her. "I want to talk to both of you."

Michael cleared his throat as he stood and walked to the table. "Okay."

"This isn't easy. I messed up. I should know better, and I'm sorry."

"What is it, Max?"

He took a deep breath. "It was me. I'm the one who is responsible for Olivia."

The words were out, and he watched in slow motion as they landed. Each face reacted like a flip book of emotions.

Lois found her voice first. "How did this happen?"

His father's disappointing voice went right through him. Max hadn't heard it since he broke curfew when he was in highschool. Ironically, he had been having sex with Erin in the back of his car. "It's obvious how it happened, but I don't understand why it happened."

He felt like a lobster boiled in hot water. "It was consensual."

Michael banged his fist on the table. "It damn well better have been."

"None of this makes sense. You and Olivia? You aren't Zach."

"Mom, Olivia has never liked Zach."

Lois shook her head. "Suddenly, she picked you." Max couldn't respond. There was nothing sudden about it. "And what about the pill? Anita has been bragging history would never repeat itself. She put Olivia on the pill in highschool."

"Apparently, she stopped it without telling me, but I didn't ask. That's on me."

"It doesn't matter how it happened. What matters is that you'll do the right thing by her."

"Your father's right. We'll need to plan a wedding."

"I'm starting a new career. I never said we're getting married, and it was never in my plans to be a father."

"It doesn't matter because you are."

"My brother may never speak to any of us ever again."

"I need to tell Olivia you know. Please let her tell her mother on her own. This is not gossip. It's my life."

"Damn straight it is."

Max stepped away without clearing his plate. He needed air, so he walked onto the deck. He texted Olivia two words. They know. The hum of the pool filter lured him, so he stepped out of his pants and shed his shirt. Memories flashed before his eyes as he dove into the still water. Everything was easier when Olivia was his friend. The last time they got along and didn't have sex was JJ's wedding. 

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