Eleven years before...

Olivia wiped a tear as she rolled on her back and stared up at the ceiling. Ian looked for her a few minutes before, but she pretended to be napping. He was leaving in the morning, and she wanted to spend time with him. Her mind was exploding with memories of Max. The love she had for him multiplied as he gently made love to her. Even inexperienced, she knew it wasn't sex. Sex didn't involve the closeness she felt or him staring into her soul.

Her tears weren't because of what they had done, but because he left. He would have the excuse of studying or his schedule for years. Olivia would be almost thirty when he finally became a surgeon. She sat up and sucked in a deep breath. It was time to be brave and accept what she couldn't change. Throwing herself at him would only hurt more every time he stepped back.

Her eyes were glossy, but they weren't puffy. She ran a brush through her long hair. With a jagged breath in, she straightened her back and left the third floor.

Without access to her own room, her tears had been silent, except in the shower. Friday morning, she woke early to swim. Long after she lost count of her laps, she pulled herself out of the water. Her goal had been to hurt from the overexertion. Physical hurt was better than what she felt in her heart.

"Here she is." Her mother smiled. "Ian was going to play for us."

"It's probably out of tune," Olivia scoffed. "No one has played piano since Ian moved to Boston."

"Because you never kept up with lessons." Ian pointed at her.

She laughed. "I hated them."

She sat next to her mother who put her arm around her, and Ian's fingers flew across the keys.

Anita whispered. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm just tired."

"You'll have your room back tomorrow."

After Ian played, the evening continued with conversation. She looked around the room and felt Max's absence, joking and teasing caused her to smile. Her family was his family, so she would see him again.

She swam again on Sunday after her brother left early with Lois and Michael. In the pool, she vowed to stop acting broken. She would live her life and reach her goals while waiting for Max to finish school. The only way to succeed was to go back to treating him like a friend.

Zach had the internship, but when Olivia had a break between classes, she went to the agency. Sometimes she helped by making copies and filing, other times she observed. Her internship would officially begin over winter break. Some teased her by calling her the boss's daughter. There was an intern named, Jocelyn, who acted passive aggressive towards her. She complained to Zach.

"She's nice to me."

Olivia groaned. "She's probably in love with you."

Zach had one girlfriend in his almost four years in New York. She broke up with him and his heart stung. Ironically, he had been breaking hearts all over the city by just being friends with girls. Just friends should be a four letter word.

Zach protested, and Olivia sighed. "She gives me the look." Zach laughed. "It's not funny. They all want to kill me because they think you and I are together."

Zach put his arm around her. "I love you like a best friend and sister. The best part is I'll love you forever."

Did Max feel that way? Would he love her forever, but not the way she wanted.

Except for being friends with her, no one at the agency knew about Zach's connections. She had a target while he flew under the radar.

"Smile at her. Make her swoon. Women swoon every time you look their way. It's a hardship I'm sure."

Kurt appeared and looked from one to the other. "Zachary, don't you have work to do?" Zach nodded and walked away. "Livvy, if you're going to hang around make yourself useful. Liza needs help."

Liza was Kurt's assistant. She had been working for him since Anita's promotion. Unlike most assistants who took the job to get ahead, she was a dedicated executive assistant.

Olivia followed her stepfather to his office suite. Liza looked up from her typing.

Liza looked up. "Olivia. I keep forgetting you're not a little girl."

She smiled. "Haven't been for a while."

"I know, but I remember when you and your brother used to visit the office on teacher workshop days."

"Ian stayed home, because he hated it."

"But you didn't." The warm smile made her feel twelve again.

"I've recruited Livvy to help with the party planning."

Liza looked surprised, but her face quickly relaxed. "Thank you. We have so many contracts and the party requires attention."

"What can I do?"

Liza held up a paper with a list of bulleted items. As she scanned it, her heart pumped faster. "You trust me?"

"Absolutely." Kurt answered. "Consult with Liza as needed." He pointed to a desk just outside his suite.

She almost skipped to it. Excitement bubbled up at the prospect of making the Dwyer Mitchell Christmas party the best one ever. The fact she only had three weeks didn't bother her in the least. Maybe Max would come and see her dressed up and realize he loved her.

By the end of the day, she had the caterer fax her the selection of appetizers. She had a lead on the party favors and she confirmed with the string quartet. Most of her tasks were phone calls which Liza didn't have time for. She knew Kurt was in the middle of a major negotiation for his best-selling suspense writer.

A major sticking point for Sam Mazzarelli was the number of books he wanted to write a year. They had discussed it at dinner. Her mother thought it was nice he wanted a balanced life. Kurt didn't quite agree. "Readers love him. He needs to seize on it."

"Life isn't always about success. It's about family. I've sacrificed enough for my career. Sending Livvy to camp was never an easy decision. I remember the first time I left her. I cried the entire way home."

"But she loved it." Kurt patted his wife's hand.

Olivia winced as Zach opened his mouth. "She was one with the woods and the dirt."

"Shut up!" One day, they would forget about her past. Maybe when Alzheimers took over.

As she looked at the menu, she thought about Kurt's client. Would he attend the party? She would like to see the handsome man in person.

She left for her last class with the list and the caterer's information. At home that evening, Kurt told her mother and Zach about her project.

"Kurt, what a wonderful idea! Livvy, I have faith in you."

When Kurt smiled at her mother, she felt the emptiness inside her. "I have the caterer's information."

Zach licked his lips. "Let's pick out some good food."

Anita scolded. "We're not having nachos. We need elegance." She looked at the selection. "Cranberry brie tarts are festive."

Kurt said, "Nothing sloppy. I always end up with a dirty tie."

"I vote for potato chip tortilla bites."

"That's unique." Anita agreed. "Are you two going together?"

"I thought Zach should ask Jocelyn."

"No, thanks. You should meet David."

"The intern you've been hanging out with? Was he there today?"

"He had class. Will you be at the office Friday afternoon?"

She nodded. "I have a party to plan."

Olivia impressed Liza with her efficiency. She was filing for her when Zach found her just before five. "Come on. Let's go out."

They entered a classy bar filled with suits. She wished she was legal to drink. Drinking Diet Coke made her feel like an imposter in the grownup world. No wonder Max didn't want her.

Thankfully, Jocelyn wasn't there, but David was. He was a very good-looking blonde.

"You two together must have girls crawling around you like ants on a crumb." Olivia winked as Zach laughed.

David's smile must stop hearts. She felt a slight murmur in her injured organ. He looked at his phone. "Jocelyn is meeting us."

"She hates me."

"Why? She's a nice girl."

"Olivia thinks all girls hate her because we're friends."

"Just friends? You talk about her a lot."

Olivia winked. "You do, Zachy?"

Zach rolled his eyes. "Best friends."

David smiled. "Good. I'll help Jocelyn like you."

"How?" Olivia asked.

David smiled. "Go out with me and she won't be jealous."

Olivia shook her head. "I don't need a sympathy date."

"No, sympathy involved."

Zach smiled like it was his plan all along. "Leave me to fend for myself."

Olivia could do worse than David. Maybe Max would hear she had a date. She smiled. "Okay. I'd like to go out with you." The two men smiled. "Are you hoping to get hired by the agency?"

David shrugged. "I'm not a very good intern. I enjoy learning about the agency and making contacts, but I might go home and write."

"Where's home?"

"Upstate."

"In a few years, I can be your agent." Zach beamed.

Olivia laughed. "It'll take more than a few. It did even for my mother."

"And she married the boss," David said.

Zach laughed. "Even interns hear the office lore."

Olivia's back straightened. "They've been happily married for nine years. Lola Lazar made my mother's career. I'm best friends with her daughter."

Zach took out his phone. "I'm texting the Dees for protection."

Her friends would encourage her to date David. She looked at him. He should be on a billboard. She needed to forget Max, and David was the perfect candidate.

"What do you write?"

"I'm working on a mystery."

"Make sure women will like it. They'll buy your book on your good looks alone."

He blushed. At least he wasn't conceited. He turned out to be funny. After Lindy and Mandy arrived and Jocelyn left to meet friends, it was nonstop laughter.

Olivia ended the night with a kiss and a date the following evening. Zach acted like a peacock for setting her up.

Olivia was nervous the evening of the Christmas party. She wanted everything to be perfect. David smiled at her. He looked impeccable in his suit. Unfortunately, Max stayed in Connecticut since he had an exam the next day. She would see him at Christmas. As she danced with David, she wished Max would see her with a handsome date. Zach took their picture, and she planned to post it.

David's hand on her hip felt nice, but didn't give her butterflies. She laughed with him and Zach. In a weird way, he fit into the vacancy Max created. Olivia took a sip of David's drink wishing it were past her birthday and she could have her own.

Zach smiled. "We're going to celebrate on your birthday. Maybe we can get Max and Ian to come."

Olivia shook her head. "They're busy. We'll see them for Christmas."

They were going to Wellesley for Christmas, but coming home for New Year's Eve. David was going home too.

"We'll plan something special for New Year's Eve." David nipped at her ear.

She didn't know if she was ready for something special. The memory from Thanksgiving was still fresh. Any time David's hand moved up her thigh she pushed it away. She respected him for not pressuring her but knew she was on borrowed time.

Two months later, the night of her birthday, neither Ian nor Max could come, but they went to a swanky bar with the Dees. The cocktail menu overwhelmed her with words like gin, vodka, rum, daiquiri, margarita, martini. Then she saw a lemon drop martini and smiled. The lemon drink was like Max's concoction, but better. He sent her a text wishing her a happy birthday; even her brother had called her.

The following week, she pushed David's hand off her thigh, and he sat up. "You know I like you." She nodded and looked down. "If you really liked me, you would want me to be your first." She opened her mouth and shut it. What could she say? "I'm leaving in three months. Maybe we should enjoy the time left as friends before my balls fall off."

She smiled as she wondered if it were possible. "I just can't. It's me not you. Please keep the why between us. Tell Zach, it's because you're leaving."

He nodded. "I'm leaving and decided it was best before I hurt you."

"Did I hurt you?" She felt sad.

He shook his head. "I was never staying."

"Don't let this ruin your friendship with Zach. He likes you."

David smiled. "He's my agent."

"I hope it happens for you both."

He nodded. "I'll take you home."

Neither spoke and she went straight to her room. Zach tried to find out what went wrong. She told him David was leaving and she didn't want a broken heart. She feared that was here fate.

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