Eleven years before...

Before Max's alarm went off, his phone rang. His mother.

"Mom, I stayed up half the night studying." His first year of medical school was grueling.

"I'm sorry, but I wanted to see what time we should pick you up."

It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The Steele's were celebrating in New York. With Zach at NYU and living in Chelsea, it made sense. Even Ian was coming home for the weekend. He had graduated and was working in Boston doing something with computers.

"I have lab until three-forty-five. I can take the train. It'll be easier with the traffic."

"That late? Ian spent the night. We were hoping for an early start."

"Just go without me. I don't mind the train. I'll sleep."

"Okay. I can't wait to see you. Let us know which train."

"I can walk from Penn. It's not far. Drive carefully." It was a busy day on the highways.

Max compartmentalized his life. As he went through his class schedule, listening and taking notes, he didn't focus on seeing his family. It was especially important because he had an anatomy exam which he had studied for all night. Then in the afternoon, he had a lab. There was no rest for the weary. He hadn't told his mother, but he planned to leave Saturday morning to spend his weekend studying.

The train lulled him to sleep, and he woke as it pulled into Penn Station. When he stepped out onto 31st and 8th, a vision popped in front of him.

"Hi." Olivia's smile reminded him of everything he was sacrificing. She represented everything good in life.

She threw her arms around him and he pulled her in, holding her longer than a cousin should.

"This is a surprise."

She glowed reminding him of the first day. Although a dark NYC street in November was not like his backyard on a sunny August day, she brought her own sunshine.

"I missed you. How's school? You never text."

"I don't have time."

She touched his beard. "Apparently you don't have time to shave. It's soft."

He wondered for a nanosecond (because he didn't have time for frivolous thoughts) what his family would say about his beard.

She looped her arm around him. "Come on. Everyone is waiting for you."

As they walked, he asked her about Zach. "He's going back to Boston when he graduates this spring."

"If I'm lucky, I'll get matched for residency in Boston. If not, I'll be in my thirties before I live at home again."

"You could live here."

He liked to visit New York, but never wanted to live in the city. "No, I would hate it."

"Why? Look around. It's vibrant."

Max saw too much asphalt and concrete. He shook his head. "I'm happier in the suburbs."

His insides felt the type of uneasiness he couldn't fix as a medical doctor. He would have to change himself to make the beautiful girl on his arm happy. Max wasn't selfish, but he had too much work ahead of him to see his future.

The last block her steps became faster. With his long strides he kept up. The moment they stepped inside, his mother smothered him with a long hug. A commotion of greetings followed.

Zach stood to the side smiling. "You look like shit."

"Thanks, jerk." He pulled his brother into a hug.

"Come on. Let him in." Anita laughed. "Max, you can bunk with your brother or take the third floor. Olivia gave up her room for your parents."

"I can sleep anywhere. The third floor is fine. Zach hogs the bed."

The family sat down for a loud meal of hearty stew and warm, soft bread. "This is good Uncle Kurt."

"I had help. Livvy is my protégé."

Everyone commented while Max watched her blush. No one ever paid attention to him. Livvy and Zach were best friends. Their mother had them married in their minds. No one cared if Livvy slept on the third floor with him.

Max had been talking to Ian, who hadn't been home in months either. "You should sleep in your own room."

Anita said, "Ian doesn't mind, it's Zach's room."

Lois said, "No sense in displacing both Livvy and Zach."

Anita turned to Ian. "Darling, I'm so glad to see you."

Her son cleared his throat. "I hope you don't mind, but I promised the guys I would hang out tonight."

"It's fine. We've been invited to a theater event. We should be getting ready."

Lois said, "Michael, don't look so miserable. You'll meet Lola Lazar."

The soap opera star turned best-selling author was Anita's first successful client launching her career as an agent.

Ian looked at his sister. "How are the Dees?" He laughed at himself.

Olivia scrunched up her nose, stopping just short of sticking out her tongue. "Amanda and Melinda are just fine. Thanks for asking."

Zach laughed. "They are still Lindy and Mandy and I don't like being left alone with either."

Anita said, "Zach, I'm sure they know Livvy would be upset if you dated either of her friends."

Max said, "Are you going out with them?"

"Not tonight."

Zach said, "I'm going out."

Lois said, "We've all deserted Max on his first night."

If his math was right, one person was also staying home. "It's okay. I have to study." He always had to study. "I'll clean up. You don't want to be late."

The parents disappeared as did Ian. Zach helped Olivia carry dishes to the kitchen. "You don't mind. I'm going out do you?"

"Nah. Do you like her?"

Olivia choked. "She's using him."

"For his body?"

"No, his connections to the agency."

"Be careful little bro. Don't let her trap you."

Olivia teased. "Don't make my mother's mistake."

Max chuckled. "It turned out okay. We got Ian."

There were no secrets in the family except for his feelings for Olivia. Not even his brother knew, although he was almost sure Olivia did.

Eventually, the house was quiet. As quiet as it could be for the city. The kitchen sparkled, and he found Olivia in the den. It was a small room with a comfortable sofa and the TV.

He sat down on the sofa. "I thought you would be out too."

She shook her head. "I didn't want to leave you alone."

"I'm glad you're home." He patted her knee.

"Do you have to study or do you want to do something?"

He shook his head slowly. "I can take a night off."

"Do you want to watch a movie or I don't know?"

He chuckled. "I don't remember the last time I watched a movie or any TV, really. You pick. I might fall asleep."

"I don't know how you do it. I mean I study and take my classes seriously, but I have free time too."

"What's free time? Talk to me when I'm thirty. Longer really if I go into surgery."

Olivia's eyes grew wide. "I guess the blood doesn't bother you."

He laughed. "I would be in big trouble. You know what I do in my lab, right?"

She covered her eyes. "Zach told me. Gross. I honestly don't know why I like you. We're so different."

He smiled. "Opposites attract." He reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear. "I still remember the way you looked that first day. I didn't know what to make of you and then you walked over to the diving board."

"And my mother had a heart attack because she didn't know I learned how to swim. Now I'm the strongest swimmer in the family."

"Do you still swim?"

She smiled and nodded. Her lips were dark pink and he couldn't look away from them. She swam, while her brother climbed rocks. "Zach works out at the same gym where I swim."

"Are all the girls chasing him?"

She smiled. "Why does everyone think he and I?"

"Do you mean our mothers or the rest of the world?"

"The rest of the world."

"Because he's a good-looking guy and you two are inseparable. You know I'm just as handsome."

She shook her head. "I think you are more handsome. He's too perfect."

"He has a scar."

She pushed his shoulder. "I don't mean like that. With Zach, his eyes stand out, but with you, it's your entire face. It's kind."

"So you think I look kind?" She looked up at him. He felt like he could look right through her blue eyes into her heart.

He reached up and caressed her cheek. "You are beautiful." His finger lightly traced her soft lips, and she sighed. He couldn't stop himself if he tried. He lowered his face to hers. "Beautiful." his lips took hers and she leaned against him. It felt like every moment they spent together for the last nine years led to that moment. It had never been a question of if but when. Alone on the sofa in the den, they explored each other's mouths. She wasn't the most experienced girl he kissed, but he liked her innocence. As sweet as their first kiss had been, kissing her way past puberty was much better.

She smiled. "No lemon."

He held her flush against him. His jeans were tight and failed to hide it. "You know this can't be."

"Why?" She looked at him with her enormous blue orbs.

"Because I have years and years of school. I can't have the distraction. You need to date and find someone who deserves you."

"What about what I want?" she cried.

"What do you want?"

She bit her lip. "I want you. I want you to be my first."

"Shit! Never?" She shook her head. "Not at camp?"

"No. That was Mandy, not me."

"I don't know." He wanted her desperately, but it would make walking away so much harder.

Her hand slipped down to his zipper. She touched him and even with the fabric between them, he couldn't control his response.

"I'm not a kid anymore. I'm the oldest virgin in the state of New York."

He laughed. "I doubt that."

"It's not funny. I've read plenty of books. I know what I want."

"Real life isn't like books. I don't want to hurt you."

"You could never."

"No. I think that's the only thing I will end up doing."

"Then I deserve it because I want sex and I want it to be you."

"Why couldn't you like Zach?" She didn't answer, some things were just the way they were. "I don't have anything. Maybe Zach has."

"I've been on birth control since I was seventeen. My mother never wanted history to repeat itself."

"Livvy, you don't know how much I want to, but I'm afraid it will be a mistake."

"How can it be a mistake?"

She slipped her hand into his pants. The touch of her warm fingers caused him to suck in air. She smiled. His lips took hers in an urgent kiss. He couldn't think coherently about his need for her. "Not here. Upstairs."

Olivia loved to watch figure skating. Years ago, Max spent a Saturday night watching with her. Olivia was a virgin, but Max had never made love before. Being with her, he felt like they were a skating pair totally in sync and anticipating the other's move. In bed, she was the girl on the diving board.

He kissed her temple. He didn't have sex with girls who needed to be held afterwards, but Olivia did.

"Was I? Was it okay?"

"Liv, you were perfect."

She looked up and smiled at him. He kissed her lips. "Get dressed. We should go watch TV, in case someone comes home early."

That was where their parents found them. Livvy was stretched out with her feet on his lap. He had his eyes shut.

Olivia sat up. "How was the play?"

Both mothers responded at once. He yawned and walked upstairs to bed. He slept through both Olivia and Ian coming to bed.

After Thanksgiving dinner, he went back to New Haven. Being with her and not touching her was too hard. She didn't ask him to stay, which was just as well. By Christmas, she was dating a guy from school. He sealed the memory in his heart along with the secret that he was her first.

A secret revealed ⭐️⭐️⭐️