A sigh escapes my lips as I'm done with the history assignment. I close the books shut, lean back on my chair and unlock my phone.

It's been four days since Liam and I had the conversation. Everytime I see him I automatically stop, my leg muscles get weak. He didn't come to school the last two days.

I still haven't mentioned anything to Chloe or Leo. Foolish of me to think that that's going to continue for long but, still. I haven't got my thoughts straightened out yet.

Huh, it's funny how all of this is such 'typical highschool drama' that I thought I might never be a part of.

I shove my books inside the bag and go downstairs to grab my breakfast and lunch. And leave for school. Chloe wasn't coming to school today, she didn't finish her assignments.

So it's just me and Leo. I'm hoping Leo, Jasper and I could talk about the project. As soon as I reach my locker and put some of my books inside it, I feel a presence behind me. I cuss under my breath.

"Hey" his tough, quite unhappy voice trembles through my ears.

"Hi" and I leave again. He catches the back of my shirt pulling me back to him and I bump against his strong, hard body. I turn back.

"Stay." He orders

"Really? You see I don't know if that word really works, cause the last time I said that to someone, they didn't"

And before he says anything else I leave.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

I step out of school with Leo before we part from the school gate. I walk a few steps and a sudden pull frightens me. A hand grips my wrist strongly and the other hand on my tummy while it drags me towards the direction of a car whose door was opened.

My heart starts to run at its peak but it slowly calms down when a very familiar perfume smell hits my nostrils. "Seriously?! Now you're gonna kidnap me cause I didn't-"

As usual he cuts me off before I could finish screaming "shut up. I'm taking you to my place. We need to talk."

"Really? Again? I guess you said enough last time. And as far as I remember it didn't turn out very well," I whisper the next few words "at least for me."

"Listen, I know. I was there, I remember what I said." He comes closer to my neck, his breath tickling me on the neck, "and I regret everything I said. Trust me, it tears me apart."

The rest of the drive I sit silently, looking outside of the window and sometimes at Liam by the corner of my eyes, he catches me a few times, but says nothing. I can't tell if all this is just an act.

The car stops at Liam's place. He gets out of the car , he's still holding onto my wrist. "Leave my hand" he doesn't even care to listen to me.

"Thanks man." He says to the guy who just drove us here. I know him, like I've seen him playing football with Liam a couple of times.

He gives me a smile and waves me bye. I give him a smile back.

"I said, leave my HAND!" He stops, lets go of my wrist. I sigh. He tightens his jaws, slowly walks closer, damn it he smells so good. His eyes locked into mine, he bends down and quickly lifts me up.

"Wooohpsieee, Hey! Leave my hand doesn't mean lift me up!"

"Shut it'"

Damn it!

Austin's not home, he is at his friend's place. So the house is empty. I should be happy about that shouldn't I? But I'm not, I'm nervous.

Every time I see him I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss me, everywhere. But I can't, more like I shouldn't. It just makes me more pathetic.

He carries me straight to his bedroom, oh lord. This room holds so much. He almost throws me on the bed. Okay. I get it he's mad. Or is he? Yeah, that's what I should be focusing on.

But it's not really my fault, either way. He just tells me that he wants to break up and expects me to be okay about it.

Also he's definitely keeping things from me. He has some other chick telling him that he shouldn't be with me. He has never told me about any girl really. I've never asked him to. I don't do that to anyone to be honest, I like people opening up by themselves.

I sit on the bed and push myself back, further inside the bed. "So what now?" I cross my arms and ask him, emotionlessly trying to sound mad with raised brows.

"I don't know" He says emotionlessly, yet regretfully.

"Excuse me? What do you expect me to do? Still hangout with you and stay around you after what you said the other day?!" He just keeps looking at me. "You're really gonna make me say it don't you?" I want to. I want to tell him everything about my feelings. But what then? He'll get even more awkward and might never talk to me again. "It's not a good idea."

"Evelyn, say it." He orders, fear and anger is clearly audible in his voice.

I look him in the eyes and so does he. I sigh and I go for it. "You don't feel about me the way I do, I knew it. And you proved me right. And I can't stay around you Liam because all I want to do is hold your face and kiss all over it. But you said you don't want me to stay with you." That's it, queue the waterworks.

"You really think that's what I want."

"You wanted to hear me? So just listen." and I continue "you have no idea how much you mean to me. My mum was literally after me! Saying that I should stop seeing you."

"Of course." He mumbles under his breath.

"You know what's the worst part. I can't. Stay. Away from you! Gohhdd it aches me to not be able to touch you, to not be able to feel you touching me, to not be able to laugh and joke with you, to just hug you and feel your arms wrap around me." And I catch my breath.

He slowly crawls up and comes close, really close. And when there's almost the difference of a single finger between our lips, he pulls my leg in a flash and I slip, my head bumps onto the bed, which was obviously not hurtful.

He hovers over me, scanning every inch of my face, lips, neck and the rest of my upper body. "I tried." His voice starts to shake. "Trust me I did. But you don't know how big of a risk it is"

"Then tell me" tears start rolling down "I don't care about the risk Liam, I don't"

I feel like my heart is breaking into pieces. "I can't let you do that, Evelyn you're too valuable." I close my eyes and tears start rolling down my cheek.

"But I can't stay awa-" he cuts me

"I can't imagine being away from you either." My heart almost pauses. I look up at him with tears blurring my vision. His eyes are shut, I gently hold his face.

The tears in my eyes start to fall, he looks at me and a soft sigh escapes his lips seeing me in tears. "Don't do that. Please". He leans forward and smashes a kiss on my lips. Like something has been holding him back.

I wish you would've left her sooner. I don't know if that text will ever exit my mind. And now I'm way too afraid to confess to him about it. For god knows what reasons he says he wants to be with me.

And I wanna believe him, I'm fine with closing my eyes and unseeing the truth. He says he can't imagine staying away from me. That's all I wanna believe. I want to feel good in his arms.

"Did I do something?" I blurt.

He pulls a little away "why?" His eyes glancing right into mine.

"No, uh. Nothing." I blabber. His eyes are still locked in mine. I know in my mind that this is toxic. But what is this feeling that I can't deny.

I want to leave him. No I don't want to. But I should. I can't.

He leans closer and his lips gently brush over my cheeks "you've no idea how much you mean to me." His breath making it hard for me to not kiss him on his f-ing lips.

"Don't say that." I can't just listen to all this and then think that he's not in love with me as much as I am. "You probably shouldn't say things like that to me. It makes me-" I cut myself. No no no no waterworks! No waterworks.

"Makes you what?" He asks, while giving me soft kisses on the face, then on the neck, on the collar bones. He pulls away and looks me in the eyes.

I gulp. I keep looking into his eyes to see if he knows what I'm talking about but all I can see is cluelessness. How can he not understand? He knows what he's doing. He should have told me the truth by now.

I'm going to tell him about the text. I don't want to, but I should. But what if he says that my doubt is true. What if- , I realize that I'm gonna break into tears really soon. What if, he says that there's actually another girl that he loves.

And I choke up tryna stop the tears from coming out but they do anyway.

"Evelyn what is it?" he holds my face and deeply sighs "tell me what have I done" he gently rubs his thumb on my cheek "it makes you what?"

"It makes me wanna believe in you." My voice cracks and I let go of the tears. "It makes me wanna think that you actually like me. Your words make me wanna fall in love with you."

"So you've not?" the words escape his lips in the form of a whisper. His eyes gets cold and his grip on my waist gets stronger.

"I don't know Liam. I wan-" I almost scream.

"But I have." He deadpans.

"Liam. That's not fair, you know how intensely your words affect me. Or maybe you don't. But don't- " Please please hold me close to you and don't let me go.

I move away from him. So that he doesn't see how much it hurts me to keep him away. How much it hurts me to ask him not to tell me that he's falling in love with me.

I turn the other way around "not tell you what? That I'm falling in love with you?"

"Liam please." I try to keep him shut. But apparently that doesn't work.

"What's not fair Evelyn, the fact that I feel about you this way?" He comes closer.

"Liam, you need to STOP! Just for ONCE! Please-" and yet he cuts me off again.

"I can't! Evelyn!" He comes even closer, I can feel his presence right behind me. His hands wrap around my belly and he pulls me closer to him. His lips brushes behind my neck, his breath falls behind my ears.

"I'm not letting you leave me no matter how much you ask for it." He places soft kisses on my shoulder, my neck and then he licks it a little, sending shivers down my spine.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N

woop! Easyyy..... there'll be more... I promise. I hope you're keeping up with all the drama. It's really getting crazy. More crazy is about to come in the next few weeks. 

Keep an eye on the announcement folks cause something interesting is coming up! 

Until the next chanpter... Toodles!