Newt woke up in a cold sweat. He had the weirdest fucking dream that just made him feel gross and uncomfortable.

He dreamed about Oben, about Tommy.

Newt dug his palms into his eyes. He dreamed about a boy with dark brown hair because that's the only thing he knew for sure about Tommy. He dreamed that he came over to Newt's house and held his hand and sat downstairs with him and he smiled and it melted Newt's heart.

"What the fuck?!" Newt cussed as he rolled over and groaned loudly. It was probably because they talked all night.

Newt squinted at his alarm clock. And sighed when it read 4:16am. He had school at 7:15 but there was no way that he'd be able to fall asleep again. His heart was pounding and his hands felt clammy. Tommy was one of his best friends, he didn't even know him in person, it wasn't right to be having dreams like that about him.

"This is what you get Newt for not knowing how to have friends," he muttered to himself as he grabbed his headphones off his night stand and plugged them into his phone. He put on his favorite album at low volume and opened his game app. He sent Del a message because he didn't know who else to talk to.

[Sang] 4:17am: hey by any chance are you awake?

Newt jumped when his phone dinged in a message.

[Delario] 4:17am: wow didn't expect a 'u up' text from you

[Delario] 4:17am: kidding kidding what's up?

[Sang] 4:18am: so like...remember a while ago when you told me that thing

[Delario] 4:19am: gonna have to be a little more specific than that love, I tell you a lot of things

[Sang] 4:19am: you know that private thing?

[Delario] 4:20am: oh are you talking about the Ki thing?

[Sang] 4:21am: yeah

[Delario] 4:22am: yeah what about it?

[Sang] 4:22am: what if I told you I might have a similar problem?

[Delario] 4:23am: you like Ki too?? I mean I won't lie I do get mad jealous when he fake flirts with you

[Sang] 4:23am: no no no no not Ki...Oben

[Delario] 4:24am: oh

[Delario] 4:24am: my

[Delario] 4:25am: GOD

[Delario] 4:25am: YESNAKCNEJWEOWEJOEFWEjoi

[Sang] 4:26am: what the fuck

[Delario] 4:26am: THAT'S SO CUTE MY BABIES OMG YES

[Sang] 4:27am: I never really did but I just had a dream about him and you know how that works

[Delario] 4:27am: and the fact that he's soft as fuck for you oh my GOD what was the dream about pls I've never had anyone to talk about this stuff with before I'm so excited

[Delario] 4:28am: wait pls don't take that as me being a weird straight girl obsessed with gay guys...I've just never had close friends before, anyways YOUR DREAM

[Sang] 4:29am: I'm sorry, it's very anticlimactic, but we were just in my basement...cuddling. It was so random and I feel like I violated him

[Delario] 4:30am: bitch he'd probably love to cuddle you. I bet he's sexy, he kinda gives off that vibe

[Sang] 4:31am: STOPKEOWE don't give me thoughts like that

[Delario] 4:32am: all I'm saying is double dates...me and Ki and you and Oben

[Sang] 4:32am: this is so bad, my heart is POUNDING

[Delario] 4:32am: it's okay I hated myself when I started liking Ki. I thought I was so weird and cliche, I mean I'm the only girl it's kinda expected that I'd start liking one of you at some point

[Sang] 4:33am: I don't think it's a bad thing, Ki's a moron but he's sweet and a good person under all his stupid jokes

[Delario] 4:34am: I agree, I really want to meet him, I want to meet all of you. I bet he gives good hugs...we have to seduce them

[Sang] 4:34am: LMAO and how do we seduce them?

[Delario] 4:35am: idk but all I know is that we are in this TOGETHER and we will get our MEN

[Sang] 4:36am: thanks I hated that

[Delario] 4:37am: come on think of the possibilities, restaurant dates, movie nights, running around parking lots at 4am

[Sang] 4:37am: you know I came for you to help me not put stupid fantasies in my head that is gonna make me like him even more

[Delario] 4:38am: come on this is a good thing Newt! He's so sweet to you and JUST you, I mean your little private server is basically a DATE

[Sang] 4:39am: well he doesn't know me in real life

[Delario] 4:40am: yeah what you guys have is better than that, he knows the real you, it's totally based on personality

[Sang] 4:41am: I'm not attractive

[Delario] 4:42am: so? Maybe he isn't either, you guys can be ugly together...okay but seriously we all get old and wrinkly, what matters is your personality and he already likes that

[Sang] 4:43am: why are you even awake now anyways?

[Delario] 4:44am: honestly? Just thinking about everything with the game

[Sang] 4:45am: I'm sorry

[Delario] 4:45am: don't start. I'm gonna try and get a little sleep before school, goodnight dude and hey?

[Sang] 4:46am: yeah?

[Delario] 4:46am: I'm really fucking glad that you're my friend

_____

    Newt was exhausted at school that morning. He didn't go back to sleep after talking to Teresa. He thought everything over for a while, and that meant literally everything. He thought about Tommy and the test and the people who knew he was looking for answers. He thought about what Lizzy would think of him and what he was doing. He thought about Jorge, who was dead. He thought about whatever he thought he felt for Thomas was the least important thing in his life right now.

"You look tired," a voice sounded next to him.

Newt groaned and lifted his head up from his arms. He was at his usual spot for lunch, out in the yard against the wall. "Because I am."

"I'm gonna sit," Chuck said as he did.

Newt resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Sure, why not."

"I have a question and I promise it isn't about Del, I think Aris got the hint that she isn't interested."

Newt scoffed. "Wow she doesn't like it when boys sexualize her just because she plays video games, can't imagine that."

Chuck ignored him, but Newt liked to think it pissed him off at least a little bit.

"What are you guys doing?" Chuck asked, his voice low.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I trailed you guys after you asked me to see if I could see you on the map. I trailed you guys and you basically left the game, you were still on but you went outside where the game even exists. What are you doing Newt?"

"It's none of your business Chuck," Newt grumbled as he pulled his other headphone out of his ear. He decided he really needed to listen to this.

"But it is Newt, I don't want what happened to Elizabeth to happen to you."

Newt felt his lips pull down. "Do not say her name to me ever again and I mean that Chuck you didn't fucking KNOW her."

"But I owe it to her to keep you safe. I knew at least something and I didn't tell anyone until I told you at my house. Maybe it could have helped stop whatever happened before it did. I know it probably wouldn't have but I feel guilty everyday."

Newt shook his head repeatedly. "No Chuck, you owe my sister nothing and you owe me nothing. What I do is none of your business and it never will be. We're barely even friends!"

Chuck looked a little when Newt said that, he almost felt bad. Almost.

"Why can't you just let me look out for you?"

"Because I don't want anyone else getting hurt," Newt blurted out accidentally.

Chuck was quiet for a moment. "You're going to get them killed."

"What?"

"The others, you're going to get them killed if you're not careful."

Newt felt a weird twist in his stomach. "Do you know something Chuck? If you do you should tell me now befor-"

Chuck scoffed out a small laugh. "But it's none of my business right? You're none of my business. Plus Lizzy would probably be disgusted if she knew you were even talking to me right now. That's what you want to say to me right? You want to tell me that I don't know anything and I'm just a stupid kid who thinks he's cool as shit because he's a high level. Let me tell you Newt, you are right, we are barely friends but you know what maybe I don't even want to be. You're not very nice and one thing I know for certain is Lizzy was three times the person you ever will be because at least she cared about other people."

Newt gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as he watched Chuck walk away. "Don't fucking call her that."

In reality maybe Newt should have been nicer to Chuck because little did he know that day after school Chuck was going to go home. Chuck was going to go home and call his friend and when he got no answer he was going to get on his bike and push his chubby little legs on the pedals until he got to where he wanted to go. Chuck was going to knock on the door and eventually push it open. He was going to go upstairs to the room he'd been in so many times before and see his best friend Aris at his computer desk with a bullet hole in his head.

______

Three days later everything went to shit. Clearly Newt hadn't been through enough so life wanted to torture him just a bit more.

They had a memorial service for Aris at school. It was terrible, Newt barely knew the kid but he found himself wiping his eyes and looking down at the floor. They didn't mention how he died but they did link a shit ton of mental health services at the end that Newt knew from personal experience were shit. He wanted to look for Chuck but he felt as if he not only burned that bridge but also blew up the site where it once was. Newt's heart felt heavy that day when he watched the pictures of Aris on the screen in the auditorium. He couldn't help but think that if he had moved faster he could have stopped it and Aris would be bothering him at lunch time trying to bone his friend.

Then, as if a dead kid wasn't bad enough, it got worse when Newt went home that day after school.

He threw his bag on the floor and jumped face down onto his bed. Everything was so fucked up. The worst part was that Newt felt completely helpless. What more could he do without putting more people's lives in danger Maybe he was in way over his head or maybe he was being naive and what they were doing was actually just pointless.

You can't protect anyone else if you can't even protect your goddamn.

Newt didn't tell anyone about Aris. He wasn't too sure why but he figured it probably had something to do with the fact that he blamed himself. For some irrational reason, he felt that the death was on him and that Aris was no longer breathing because of him. Of course that was pretty irrational but with what he'd been through it wouldn't be out of the ordinary.

Newt tried to close his eyes but everytime he did the same words flashed behind his eyelids. The one sentence that told so much about what they were dealing with. The one sentence that made Newt realize that they weren't just playing a damn game anymore.

Do you miss your sister Issac?

Newt's eyes burned as he squeezed a pillow tight to his chest. He wasn't going to cry. He didn't deserve to cry because Aris couldn't anymore. Newt wanted it all to stop. He wanted to find Thomas and run to his house and beg him to hold him until it all went away and everything stopped being so damn shitty all the time. Newt let out some deep breaths and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

He stared at the lock screen for a long time, debating on if he should text Chuck or not. Chuck would probably tell him to fuck off or worse but Newt wanted him to know he was there. He wanted him to know that he'd been through a similar thing and it never gets better but it does get easier.

Eventually Newt unlocked his phone and let out a deep breath. He couldn't blame Aris' death on himself. There's no way he could have tried to prevent it or even know that it was coming. They called it a suicide, but Newt knew. It was the same situation as Lizzy, everyone was too scared to admit that they knew it was something bigger but Newt knew and Teresa knew and Minho knew and Thomas knew and Eden knew and now Chuck knew. Chuck had to know. A kid like Aris doesn't just randomly kill themselves. Newt couldn't decide if more people knew was better or worse. On one hand the truth could be out which could possibly lead to some answers but on the other hand who gave a fuck what some kids thought. Also what evidence did they have? A dead kids journal and weird strings of code that might not even be code?

Looking past the horrible event, something still wasn't adding up. Why would people want to kill kids for playing a game? Was it even about the game? At this point Newt couldn't even tell. Nothing made sense. Newt's phone was buzzing with tests from the garage but he didn't feel like talking just then, he'd get back to them soon. Right then he just needed to sort his head out because it was a fucking dumpster fire up there at that moment.

Newt dropped his phone onto his stomach and grabbed Lizzy's book again. There was another part that'd been bugging him since the day Aris' died when he locked himself in his closet and re-read it cover to cover again. It was a small portion but it was there.

Lizzy had written about the room with the colored spots but she never got the quiz, maybe because she didn't have a group. It didn't make sense that it was different for them than it was for her but on the other hand, Lizzy did this alone and with no guidance from a journal. Lizzy had gotten a letter too, but it was different from the one Newt got. Hers gave her an address that she unfortunately didn't write down. When Newt got to the page he was looking for her let his finger trail down the soft graphite on the rough old pages.

Small, scribbled on the bottom of the page were light pencil marks that made Newt's skin break out in goosebumps due to how vaguely creepy it was.

whatever you do. don't trust the girl.
______

"Please don't cry T, it's gonna be okay," Thomas said softly into his mic.

Newt had that twisty feeling in his stomach again where he knew something was wrong but he wasn't sure what yet. He may have been denying it to himself as some weird protection mechanism but his stomach never lied to him, his stomach always knew when it was bad.
Teresa wasn't sobbing loudly but it was obvious that she was crying.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm kinda worried too," Newt said softly.

Thomas was quiet for a long moment. "Yeah, I am too but I'm trying to be the positive one here."

"I don't want you to be fucking positive!" Teresa practically screamed. "I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on! I want someone to tell me that it's o-okay and mean it!"

"Okay woah take a deep breath for me," Newt said carefully. He wasn't good at these situations yet always got thrown into them. He was barely able to handle his own emotions let alone other people's.

"If you wouldn't have told us about your fucking sister!" Teresa screamed again. "This wouldn't be happening!"

Newt's stomach dropped at that. Ouch. Low blow.

"Woah Teresa, you don't mean that!" Thomas said quickly. "You're just upset an-"

"No, she's right," Newt agreed softly. "You guys felt an obligation to help because you're my friends and now you're all freaked out, I know you don't sleep at night Tommy. I regret telling you too. I didn't think it would be like this. I don't think that any of us did and I'd hate myself if anything happened to you guys because it would be on me. All of this is on me."

Teresa took in a shaky breath. "No, no Thomas is right. I didn't mean that, I just word vomit when I'm panicking."

"If you did mean it," Newt said carefully. "I wouldn't be mad at you."

"No, no Newt seriously I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

Newt swallowed hard. "It's fine. Forget it."

"I'm just really fucking worried," Teresa admitted softly.

"I know, we are too, I promise," Thomas said quickly.

That sick feeling came back to Newt's stomach again because he knew this was bad, this was really fucking bad.

No one had heard from Minho in three whole days.