jupiter | eden

. . .  

It had been over two months since I last saw my family.

Father and Little One wrote me letters and I wrote to them back via messenger hawks. I missed them terribly. The only thing Mother had written was me out of her life.

The Northern Tribe had attacked our tribe and killed our livestock. They had either mistaken a Warrior for livestock or done it on purpose, but one of our men had been killed in cold blood; thus, war was waged.

It had taken me a while, but I had gotten the respect of the other Warriors. They initially didn't take me seriously as I was a female, but with one on one fights in human form and the animals of our ancestors with me, and they recognized me as a Warrior.

I was stationed with Haakon in the Upper East Mountainous area and my job was to be his right-hand Warrior.

It was a unique position, as he never spoke to me outside of giving me orders. I wondered why I was his right-hand man when he never spoke to me as he spoke to the other Warriors, and then found out he had personally requested his father, the Tribe Leader, to station us together.

It made no sense to me, but at the moment, I was a Warrior, someone who was responsible for the safety of our Tribe, so feelings were out of the equation.

I always noticed him staring at me over the fire, though. His eyes smoldering like the fire in between us.

We had little moments that I cherished. Little moments that I locked up in a little crevice of my abused heart. When he asked me to pass something, he'd make sure our fingers purposefully touched. When we would march, he'd make sure his shoulders brushed mine as much as possible. When we transformed into the animals of our ancestors (something extremely private as only Warriors who explicitly trusted each other showed their painful transition process), he'd wait for me to transform before doing so himself. 

It warmed my cold heart.

I thought after he helped me transform, he'd be more willing to speak to me, but I was wrong. He ignored me. It hurt. But I was a Warrior, I'd endure.

. . .

It was my fourth hour on lookout in the snowy cave during our fifth month at war, and I was borderline passing out when he roughly pushed me to the wall and kissed me.

It was rough, urgent, abrupt, and belligerent.

I was paralyzed for exactly .15 seconds (becoming a Warrior had honed in the importance of seconds as anything can happen) before I realized his slightly chapped lips were pressing against my own. It took me exactly .15 seconds before I realized his scruff was scratching me on my cheek (but I loved it). 

It took me exactly .15 seconds before I realized one of his hands was gripping my ebony hair and the other arm was casually wrapped around my back, his hand sprawled across my hip. It took me exactly .15 seconds to realize his electric brown eyes were heatedly gazing into my green ones before closing in ecstasy.

After those .15 seconds, I got the feelings in my fingers back and I dragged my hands from laying uselessly by my sides up his body to grip the back of hair. The noise he made when I did that curled my toes (you're a Warrior! Stop this!) When I tugged lightly on his soft hair, he groaned out "Cornelia" in such a way that made me blush. 

When he saw how enthusiastically I responded, he quickly heated up the kiss and the modesty within me (the one that had disappeared because being a Warrior with a bunch of men meant no modesty at all) shyly oozed from me.

I could feel my cheeks turn red and my blood thundered. When he pulled back to take in a much-needed breath, I accidentally let out a squeak and he roared in laughter.

Resting his forehead against mine, he stared into my eyes. After a while of staring, the embarrassment made it too much (my face was still blood red, blast it!) and I lowered my gaze from his.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to do that for?" He questioned lightly and I shook my head no.

"Ever since I was seventeen," he disclosed and I abruptly stared at him again.

"Y-" I cleared my throat. "You've been avoiding me since then, how was I supposed to know?"

He let out a pained groan and lightly bumped my head with his. "I was an idiot."

"But we've been partnered up for five months and you've still avoided me," I muttered and looked away again.

"If I spoke to you more than our orders, I would've done this a helluva lot earlier," he grinned sheepishly. "The boys got sick of me constantly asking them what to do," he laughed lightly.

"I've wanted to do this for years," he deadpanned, jokes aside.

"Years?" I squeaked in disbelief.

"I should've asked for your hand the moment we turned eighteen. My father decided I needed to learn more about the Tribe and its customs, so he ordered me to stay away from you," he make a tisk-ing sound. "You distracted me."

"You could've told me," my voice hitched. "I would've understood."

"It wouldn't do for the eighteen-year-old male Successor to fraternize with an unmated eighteen-year-old female," he bit his lip and my eyes were drawn on the organs that were attached to me moments before.

"You're Lord Haakon and I'm just a Warrior," I swallowed painfully; I did not want to do this, but I had to. 

"Please marry me, Cornelia," he pleaded with wide eyes. "Become the Tribe Leader's wife, my wife."

"You were betrothed to my sister," I deadpanned, my throat tightening. 

"It wasn't my choice," he breathed to me, the sincerity dripping off his words. 

"We shouldn't be doing this," I pulled away and walked away from him, my heart disappearing.

. . .

I refused any contact with him after that day. We were still partners and I still did my duty as his right-hand man, but I refused to speak to him outside of official orders. It hurt, it hurt badly, but I did not need him. 

He threw me away once, how did I know he wouldn't do the same again?

During our sixth month at War, we were given orders that meant our deaths. They were orders from our Tribe Leader and he had faith Haakon and I would be able to complete the mission; thus, we were dispatched.

It was quiet, too quiet as we made camp on the snowy ledge. We had been on lookout for a couple of days and our mission was going by without any problems. That should've been sign number one something was wrong.

It was night time and we were sitting around a campfire when he looked at me and said, "Cornelia."

At least, that's what he would've said had the arrow not pierced his chest. I grabbed my sword in defense and jumped in front of him, protecting my Love with my life. Suddenly, with a roar, the archer transitioned into a Black Bear and stalked in front of me.

I brandished my sword at him but he roughly slapped it aside, twisting my arm. I knew I didn't have enough time to transition into my Panther, and that was my mistake- the hesitation.

"Cor-" Haakon gurgled, but I held my stance. My arm was throbbing, but I did not care. I would die protecting my Leader. The Black Bear came running at me and it sacrificed its own life and body slammed into us, pushing all three of us down the ledge.

Before falling, I head Haakon shouting, "I love you, Cornelia!"

I was too terrified to say anything back.

Haakon grabbed me and pulled me to his chest, his lips kissing my head.

My last thought was, "maybe I can have him in the afterlife."

. . .