" I want to have a baby"

Well that cracked me up.
Out of knowhere I begin to laugh hysterically . Arthurs joke getting the best of me. Arthur lets out a sigh of anger as he gently tilts my chin up.
My laughter stops as I stare into his eyes.
He wasn't kidding.....
Arthur was being serious. He actually wanted a child?! How and since when did Arthur come to this revelation? We just got married two months ago. We still haven't figured out what happened to proto. What if proto was hiding in the darkness; just waiting for me and Arthur to get so comfy. And then that's when proto intends to attack. WHEN WE LEAST EXPECT IT.

" Marianne. "
He grabs my hand gently guiding it to his head. A frown forms on my face as I rub his soft brown hair gently. Arthur closes his eyes: enjoying the warmth of my touch.
He grips onto my wrist gently. As if to identify that I was his property. I belonged to Arthur.

" We've come so far Marianne Carter Lynn. Dont you think it's time for us to live our lives happily ever after like we deserve?"

Something about arthurs words cause me to snap instantly. Happily ever after?!
Is this what Arthur really thinks about our relationship? Just some overrated Disney (TM) fairytale?!

Without hesitation I begin to yell. The words come out all bundled up as I rise to my feet. Backing away from Arthur angrily.

" Is that what you think this is Arthur?! A fucked up fairytale?! We'll guess what?! In every fairytale someone dies!!! I lost half of my friends, my parents!!!!! Josh Jake deangeline!!!!!! I lost half of everyone that meant everything to my so called fairytale.
I FUCKING MISCARRIED TWICE!!!!
Protos still out there! I'm not stupid!!! He's waiting for us to get all lovely dovey and create a family! Just so he can fucking ruin it like general 48 and Leon did!!!"

Arthur rolls his eyes as he takes a puff of his vape. As if he could care less about my emotional words.
Arthur  scoffs as he takes a second puff.
" Your overreacting."

That's it.
I'm done here.
Without warning slap the fucking vape out of arthurs hand. Arthur rises off the couch grabbing my wrist hard as he pushes me. Slamming me smack dab against the wall.
" WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

Arthurs voice was loud and anxious. This so called argument was getting heated: fueled by unresolved anger and violence from past tense.

" GET THE FUCK OFF!!"
I scream angrily as I push Arthur off. But Arthur didn't back down . I let out a scream of pain as he yanks my hair.

" OWWW!!!!!"

My fists connects to arthurs face hard. My anger getting the best of me. Arthur lets go of my hair. He falls to his knees wincing in pain. Holding his throbbing eye as he grunts in pain.

I back away from Arthur. Slowly towards the kitchen counter. i was angry; having a withdraw from my depression medication. My body felt weak and sluggish but I ignored the pain.
I grab the machete from the kitchen knives set. Arthur was on his feet. His eye was bruising due to my punch. His eyes widening as I point the knife to my chest.
Tears streaming down my face as I sob.
" STEP ANY CLOSER AND ILL STAB MYSELF TO DEATH!!"

I WAS SHAKING, MY FACE RED WITH ANGER AND MY ANXIETY RISING WITHIN.

Arthur stares at me intensely as he slowly puts his hands up. As if to reassure he wasn't going to interfere.

"Okay! I won't come any closer mari....
Just drop the knife babe"

"DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO !!!!"
MY VOICE WAS LOUD AND FULL OF FEAR.

Arthur bites his lip as he stares at me terrified.
" Marianne
                   DROP
                           THE
                                KNIFE"

I finally gave up. My anxiety overwhelming me as I drop the knife. Staring down at the floor I sob mid stand. Arthur runs up to me. Kicking the knife away from us as he catches me. Arthur catches me as we both fall to our knees.

" I got you mari your okay"
Instantly I wrap my arms around Arthur as he does the same. His warm causing my sobs to worsen.
Shutting my eyes I sob in arthurs arms.
Just drowning in my sorrows.
BEGGING GOD FOR FORGIVENESS.