Trigger warning: Rape and other various dark topics.

Hello guys. As you can see, I haven't been writing in this book now and I have several reasons. I left the fandom by now, and have educated myself on things I now wish I had never wrote as a kid.

I don't like what I have written. I hate what I have written in this book. I don't care if it was fictional, but what I wrote here was absolutely fucking disgusting of me. I hated that I had portrayed someone's persona who I looked up to and used them for my shipping purposes. Even writing this makes me feel nauseous. I hate that I written this, I have no other excuse expect that I was young and was in that fangirl phase.

I had realized that what I wrote was wrong, I had use a very topic such as rape to write my fan girl desires. This book has been a great memory at first but it also has turned into one of the worse ones. If this book has helped you in your dark times, I'm happy that I had made you smile but I won't be writing things in here anymore, and will be later deleting these oneshots.

I'm sorry but having this still up makes me sick, I don't want people to read this and get triggered despite me putting trigger warnings. I should never write rape here as a 'smut' oneshot. It absolutely sickens me that I did do that just for the fan girl desires and therefore, will be deleting all of them as soon as possible. I've learned now that I should never *ever* fucking right rape as something to be fantasied about, never wrote it in a way to get some cheap smut fic. I never should've romantizes it and that's on me. I was young and stupid, so incredibly stupid.

Please, rape isn't something to be romantized about, something that should never be for a cheap smut fic. It is a topic I cannot relate to but I know that to victims of it, it is incredibly triggering to read about it in such a manner I had wrote in on. I am so deeply, deeply sorry for the victims, I was young and wrote headfirst because my mindset thought it was all fictional. But I learned that even fictional, it's still wrong to write such things in a romantic way as if it was something normal.

Thank you for reading. I hope my words reached out to people. I'm sorry for the people who loved this book but I'll be deleting all chapters. Thank you for reading.