"Aaah ! My head !"I winced as the unbearable pain in my head made my eyes squint again.

Why is my mattress so hard ?

I clutched my head with one hand and opened my eyes.

Bhagwaan ji Ye Kia hai ?

I traced the hard mattress on which I was sleeping when my eyes shot opened.

Numbness casted my senses seeing Manik sleeping on his tummy beneath me.

With a jerk I moved back and my lips quivered seeing our clothes on the floor. 

Kal raat Kia hua ?

I removed the blanket from my laps and a gasp escape my mouth seeing blood stains on the bed sheet.

A tear of contriteness spout down my cheek and I palmed my mouth refraining the loud bulbs which threat to escape from it.

I bit my palm to control my cries while silent tears kept crawling down my cheeks.

Ye kia hogya humse Manik !

I glanced at Manik who was sound asleep beside me and more tears fell from my eyes.

Gathering my shivering body I stood up and wore my clothes and in next moment I was out of his room ,running upstairs hysterically.

I locked my room and ran towards washroom.

Tearing my clothes apart I stood infront the mirror.

Another fat tear cascaded down my cheek as I traced the red love bites all over my body which reflected in the mirror.

"Nhi ! No this can't happen ! Ye nhi ho sakta! Hum Ye nhi kar sakte! NO !"I cried while throwing bathroom accessories lying there on glass slab.

"Ye Kia hogya humse Bhagwaan ji! Ye Kia hogya humse!" I murmured and palmed my face.My hiccups echoed in the washroom and I walked towards the shower cabinet which was beside the bath tub.

Turning on the faucet I sat underneath and wrapped my arms around my knees.

The warm water kept plodding down my body  while my tears continuously kept rolling down my cheeks.

I rested my cheek on my knees and sat there torpid.

Phir ek gustaakhi hogayi humse Bhagwaan ji ! Aap Kyon kar rahe ho aisa mere sath ! Main kis mun se apni maa k samne jaongi!
Maine armaan ko bhi dhoka diya ! I cheated on him !Ye kiya hogya Bhagwaan ji ! Ye Kia hogya!

..........

"Oh god ! Mera sar! Yaar why do you drink Manik when you can't handle!" I sat on the bed with my forehead in my palms.

"Di ! Black coffee !" I yelled with half closed eyes but no answer came back.

"Di !" I shouted again but still no answer came.

Yaar kithe chale gaye di!

"Gol-gappi black coffee !"I shouted again hoping if not Di gol-gappi would answer me.

Koi sunta Kyon nhi hai meri? Di bhi jawab nhi de rahi aur ab gol-gappi bhi nhi ! Gol-gappi k bhi bohot tashan barh gaye hain Bas ek baar shadi hojaye phir main ise btaonga!

I opened my eyes with much difficulty when and at the very moment they fell on the blood stains on my bed sheet.

My eyes immediately went wide as I found Nandanis broken bracelet beside my pillow.

I love you !

I love you too!

Gol-gappi can I kiss you ?

Only one haan!

I palmed my mouth with my both hands as last night flashed infront of my eyes.

SHIT !

Gol-gappi? OH GOD ! SHIT! SHIT !

Exasperated,I pulled up my clothes and ran towards her room,skipping two stairs together.

"Gol-gappi!" I banged her room door again and again but she didn't reply back.

My heart beat turned frantic.

What is she doing inside ?

"Gol-Gappi open the door please!"I literally begged.

Ye Kia hogya humse anjaane main ! Kahin Nandani aur dur na chali jaye mughse! Nhi nhi ! Be positive Manik !

Sighing I took a deep breath  and slapped door once more,this time with more pressure.

"Fine! I'm breaking it right now!" I spoke angrily and slammed my shoulder with it.After one more try the door got open and I stepped in her room.

The running water stole my attention and I marched towards her washroom.

"Nandani !" I muttered loudly while banging the washroom door.

"Nandani ! Open the door!"I shouted again.

"For once , Sirf ek baari baat sun lo meri ! Please I beg !" A tear trickled from my eye while banging the door but the water inside didn't stop from falling.

"Nandani ! I said open the door!"I hollered while banging door hard but still silence was the only thing I got in return.

"Please ! Gol-gappi!" Two more tears trickled down my cheek as I predicted her state.

The intensity of tears turned more deep as I continued to bang door,being tired I fell on the ground with my face plastered at washroom door.

"Ek baar baat tou karo na mughse ! Main janta hn k k..al ra..at jo hua Wo nhi hona chahiye tha lekin hum ek baar baat tou kar sakte hain na!" I cried more while tapping the door when suddenly the clicking sound peeked in my ears.

I stood up hastily from the floor as the door got opened.

"Gol-gappi!" A whisper escape my mouth as I found her colourful face colourless.

Is she regretting whatever happened between us!

She walked past me and sat on the round chair infront of her dressing table.

She fished out cocoa-butter lotion in her palms and rubbed it smoothly on her palms only as she was wearing full sleeves shirt.

"Any work Manik ?" Without glancing at me she spoke and I licked my lips trying to gauge her mind state.

In two steps I rode towards her and kneeled down infront of her.I tried to hold her palms but she jerked my hands away so I just kept my hands down and spoke,

"I'm sorry gol-gappi! I know how you are feeling ! Main manta hn k kal raat jo hua wo sahi nhi hua lekin hum ek dusre se pyaar...." My words left incomplete as she stood up from the chair with a jerk.

"Manik ! Please I'm not in a mood ! I've lot to do ! Abhi jokes crack mat karo! Aur wese bhi kal raat? Kia hua kal raat ?Nothing happened last night!"She jerked her shoulders plainly while searching for some book in her bookshelf but her words stole my calm.

Nhi Manik ! Your anger can ruin it ! Calm down ! Aaraam se baat kar !

Inhaling and exhaling some deep breaths I walked towards her and touched her shoulder from behind when she flinched away instantly making my hand still in air.

My heart pierced into two halves seeing that how she disgusted my touch.

"Mmm..anik! Go ! I want to study !" She stuttered with low eyes while moving back and I lowered my hand which was in air only to curl it hard.

Breathe in breathe out ! Breathe in breath out !

I licked my lips and spoke softly again,
"Nandani ! Please ! Listen to me! We can't run away from reality ! Main manta hn,I agree that whatever happened between us shouldn't have happened,the time wasn't appropriate,we weren't  in our senses but still i don't regret it because I love you and same goes with you too!Tum bhi tou mughse pyaar karti ho na!" I spoke and she rolled her eyes but didn't look at me for once.

"Kis ne kaha! I don't love you Manik ! Stop bugging me !"She again started searching for some book when I held her palm and pulled her harshly towards me. Grabbing her both palms behind her back I pulled her more closer.

"Meri ankhon main dekho!" I ordered calmly tinted with anger.

"Just leave me Manik ! Problem Kia hai tumhari!" She shouted while struggling when I pulled her more closer.

"Do you regret whatever happened between us last night?" I asked softly hoping her answer would be negative but the words she chose boiled the flowing blood in my veins.

"Kal raat ! Kal raat ! Kuch nhi hua kal raat! Do you understand Mr.Malhotra ! Nothing happened last night !" She snarled while jerking away from my grip and was about to turn when I grabbed her shoulders and pinned her to the bookshelf behind.

"Nothing happened ? NOTHING HAPPENED ?" I roared and she shivered.

Enough ! I can't be calm ! She loves to steal my patience!

"BTAON MAIN KIA HUA KAL RAAT ?"I roared again and she shivered more.

"Manik.leave.me!" She gritted whispered while pushing my chest with her shivering palms when I pulled her more towards me,digging my fine trimmed nails in her shoulders.

"NO ! IM NOT LEAVING YOU !NOT UNTIL YOU ACCEPT THAT WE MADE LOVE LAST NIGHT! DID YOU HEAR ? SUNA TUMNE ?
WE.MADE.LOVE.LAST.NIGHT!" I  pressurised each and every work with clenched teeth and pushed her angrily behind.She fisted her palms near her chest tightly being scared.

"KUCH YAAD AYA MISS NANDANI KHURANA? KUCH YAAD AYA TUMHE ?" I shouted while holding her jaws to make her look in my eyes and believe me she whimpered when she looked at my red eyes.

A tear fell from her already swollen eyes and I left her jaws only to run a hand in my hair.

"Last night we didn't made love instead we did a mistake ! Gustaakhi thi hamari!" She whispered and my eyes shot up at her.

"Gustaakhi thi ! Kal raat ko jo hua  hamare darmiyaan Wo gustaakhi thi!" She muttered slowly while silent tears kept crawling down her cheeks and I looked at her with unbelievable eyes.

Don't do this gol-gappi ! Mar jaonga main !

A tear descended from my eye and I stepped towards her.

"Tumse mohabbat karna tou arzoo thi meri aur tumne ise bhi gustaakhi ka naam de diya!" Another broken tear fell from my eye as she pushed my chest.

"Chale jao Manik ! Dur chale jao mughse !" She cried while pushing my chest and I stumbled back being aghast.

"Tumne kaha tha k tum mughse pyaar karti ho ?" I muttered while looking at her with teary eyes when she palmed her face crying bitterly.

"Nhi kar sakti Manik ! Nhi kar sakti! Wo waqt chla gaya!"She cried and fell on her knees.

"Ishq ka koi waqt nhi hota Nandani !Main ishq saalon pehle se karta tha tumse lekin ehsaas hone main der hogayi iska matlab Ye tou nhi k mughe mera ishq pane ka haq nhi !" I sat infront of her and removed her palms.

"Manik !" She cried and in next moment fell on my chest to cry.

"Tum Kyon nhi samaghte ho Manik ? Kyon nhi samaghte?"She cried while hugging me more tightly and I smiled.

"Because I love you Gol-gappi! Main nhi reh sakta tumhare baghair! Meri hojao na!" I cried while hugging her more tightly and I felt her tears falling more rapidly down her cheeks.

"Nhi Manik ! Main nhi ho sakti tumhari! Ab der hogayi na , koi hamare rishta se razi nhi hoga! Koi hamara ishq qubool nhi karega!" She mumbled in my neck while crying loudly and I broke the hug.

"Main Sab ki khatir apna ishq qurbaan nhi kar sakta !" I held her cheeks firmly but she shook her head.

"Maa ka dil toot jayega Manik ! Wo nahi bardaasht kar payengi!" She cried and palmed her face again.

"Main baat karunga bua maa se ! Bas ek baar haan tou bolo! Mera sath tou do main sab ko mana lunga!" I removed her palms and she looked at me with her innocent eyes.

Suddenly she stood up and turned her back towards me.My heart died hundred deaths as i understood her gesture.

"Meri do mahine baad shadi hai Armaan k sath ! Agar tum mughse sacha ishq karte ho tou in do mahino main kuch nhi karoge,mughse aur Armaan se dur rahoge!" She spoke while wiping her tears but didn't turn to face me.

My lips quivered as another tear fell from my eye but I rubbed my eyes harshly with the back of my palm and stood up.

"Ok !" I muttered plainly and she turned being shocked.

"Main in do mahino main na tumhare qareeb aaonga! Na us Armaan ko kuch karunga!" I spoke nonchalantly and her eyes held more shock.

"Lekin tumhari doli uthi na is ghar se tou sath main meri arthi bhi uthegi! Main maar dunga khud ko ! Phir tum guzar lena apni zindagi Armaan k sath !" I spoke aggressively and without glancing at her tears-filled eyes left her room,slamming the door behind loudly.

"Aaaahh!" Lastly I heard her scream and I know she must be throwing things here and there.

I closed my room and walked towards my bed when my eyes again fell on the bed sheet.

Broken beads , blood stains shook the red nerve of mine and I pulled away that bed sheet.

"It could've been beautiful but you spoiled it gol-gappi! You spoiled our first love celebration! Dil tod diya tumne mera! Manik ka dil tod diya tumne!" I threw away that sheet in a corner and cried while falling on the mattress.

I'll suicide !

The first thought came in my mind and I wiped my eyes but they became teary again.

"If you won't be mine I'll suicide ! Main khud ko maar dunga agar tum meri nhi hui tou ! Mughe mere ishq ki kasam!"I muttered cryingly with determination and looked at my beating nerve which directly connects to my heart.

Cheer dunga main apni dharkano ko lekin tumhe kisi aur ka hote hue nhi dekhunga!

......
Just remember one thing that it is not the end ! Baqi jisko samagh aagaya Wo intezaar kare aur jise apna khoon jalana hai Wo khoon jalaye! 😜

P.S : A surprise is there in next update !

Stay tuned !

New wanderer!