"My fellow Americans, it's been decades since Gotham City once exemplified American prosperity." The President spoke into the TV. "But one week ago, it hit the point of no return when the Joker seized control and instituted martial law, last night, his base of operations, the Joker Tower, came crashing to the ground, triggering an 8.6 earthquake that leveled the city, sadly, Gotham is beyond saving."

All of you gasped.

"So it is with a heavy heart that I hereby declare that Gotham City is no longer part of the United States, It is civitas non grata, God bless the United States of America, and God help Gotham City." The president gave a salute before the TV shut off.

"Fuck yeah!." Harley began flipping the bird and running out of the mall.

Timeskip...

"Honk honk, motherfuckers!." Harley blew an airhorn as she re-entered the mall on a bumper car, being pulled by her two dogs.

"Home, sweet home." Harley looked around at the mall.

King was on a laptop, Clayface was reading a book, Dr. Psycho was lying on the couch, Sy was sleeping in his chair and you and Ivy were....well, doing other things...

"Good job, my little baby drivers." Harley petted her dogs. "I got a treat for ya."

She pulled a steak out of the bag and threw it at them, they began fighting over the steak.

"Now, Bud and Lou, don't you fight." Harley tossed another steak out of the bag. "There's one for each of ya."

Harley then smiled, looking at everyone else, she saw you and Ivy coming down, Ivy was wearing one of your shirts.

"Hey Ive, Hey Babe, love the new shirt." She smiled at Ivy.

"Oh, it's not new, It's Y/n's actually." She looked over at you, putting an arm around your neck and kissing your cheek.

"Well, anyways for my big babies, I brought dinner!." Harley opened the hood of the bumper car and inside was a tied-up man wearing a chef's uniform.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." You backed up. "Your dogs get steak and we gotta eat this guy?."

"Are we living in a mall or a zoo?." Psycho groaned.

"I like to think of it as both now." King smiled as he was petting a Lama.

"No, we're not eating him." Harley rolled her eyes. "This is Takashi, a sushi chef, he's got a Michelin star!."

Takashi tried running away but King grabbed him, smiling.

"I gotta admit, I was excited to eat a person, especially since I already had sushi, but I guess it's fine." He hoisted the chef over his shoulder. "Come here!."

"Takashi, would it be gauche to ask for a spider roll, or are you strictly omakase?." Clayface asked as he sat down at a table.

"Guys, are you not jazzed about sushi?." Harley looked over at both You and Ivy.

"No, no, I mean, I like Takashi's hand rolls as much as the next gal, but don't you think it's time to kinda like wrap up this party up?." Ivy asked.

"And I never liked Takashi's sushi, that guy always puts something in there that gives me issues after eating it." You chimed in.

"Okay, thanks for the info hun, that was really needed for this conversation." Ivy looked at you before looking back at Harley.

"You know, it's been three weeks since you took down Joker, there's no Legion of Doom, no Batman, Gotham is yours for the taking." 

"I am having a blast!." Harley smiled. "This is what I've always wanted, Ive...Anarchy and sushi!."

"Yeah, I mean, you definitely could've had better sushi when Gotham had refrigeration and free trade with the rest of America, but..." Ivy sighed before you began couching.

"Is this a bird?." You pointed to your sushi, Takashi just shrugged.

"Trust me." Ivy looked back at Harley. "Seriously, you're gonna be kicking yourself if you don't take charge."

"Ive, the best part of living in an apocalyptic wasteland is no one's in charge." Harley then hugged her. "Whoo!-"

"It's chaos, baby!." Sy smiled, rolling over to them. "It's like 'Nam after the U.S. pulled out."

"I don't think it's exactly like that." Harley said. "But it is pretty awesome-"

That's when bullets were being fired into the air and everyone began screaming, you dove in front of Ivy, your guns drawn.

"Hey!." A goon said, holding a gun. "You're on Penguin turf, get the hell outta here."

"The hell ya talking 'bout?." You asked.

"Penguin called dibs on the mall." The other goon glared at you.

"Uh, we've been chilling at the mall for, like, ever!." Harley glared back at them. "And dibs? There's no dibs, the city's in ruins, idiot, It's a post-dibs world, nobody owns nothing, except for me, I own this mall-"

"It's chaos, baby!." Sy shouted again. "It's like 'Nam after the U.S. pulled out-"

"Stop, stop, stop!." Harley shouted at him. "No flashbacks."

She then turned back to the goons.

"So you go back to the Penguin and tell him to go screw himself."

Without Warning King ran up to one of the goons and bit his head off, the other goon ran away.

"Hey, Takashi." King smiled. "Can you incorporate this into a rainbow roll?."

Takashi looked like he was about to vomit.

"Light on the rice." King chuckled. "I'm watching my figure."

"Harley, this is what's going to happen if you don't take control." Ivy sighed. "Every one of these assholes has an army of goons that they're just gonna keep sending until they take over the city."

"I think you may be catastrophizing." Harley rolled her eyes before more goons showed up.

"Hey!." One of them shouted. "You're on Two-Face's turf."

"Don't make that face at me." Harley glared at Ivy then sighed. "Fine, I'll deal with it."

She then walked over to you, grabbed your arm, and started dragging you out of the mall.

"Hey!-" You shouted.

"You are coming with me!." Harley dragged you along the floors of the mall.

"Why?." You asked.

"In case I need backup...and you are also my/Ivy's boyfriend."

"Fair enough." You sighed and Harley dragged you out of the mall.

Timeskip...

You and Harley walk into the bar you two first had sex in, seeing a bunch of goons drinking, you kick open the doors.

"Listen up, goons!." Harley shouted.

"Excuse me, I identify as a hench." One of the goons said.

"Listen up, goons and henches, the world we know has ended-" Harley began speaking again.

"Uh I identify as a-" He didn't even finish before you cut his head off.

"Anyone else feels like talking over her?." You held the head up high, everyone shook their heads.

"The Justice League is kaput, the Legion of Doom is doomed, and Joker's had his last laugh." Harley smiled. "This is our chance to even the playing field."

"You!." Harley pointed at someone. "Who do you work for?."

"The Riddler." The goon answered, showing the question mark uniform. "Obviously."

"But why?." You asked.

"He's right, what have those assholes ever done for you?." Harley growled. "Joker treated me like shit, until I decided I'd had enough and took him down, and look at me now, it is time to rise up!."

"Everyone should be their own villain." Harley smiled. "Don't work for the Penguin, be the Penguin."

A goon raised his hand.

"Over here, the hench..." You pointed at him.

"I've got a two-part question for ya." He said. "Are you saying we should become the Penguin, or that we should do stuff like him?."

"Up to you, goo..." Harley corrected herself. "...hench."

"Look, what the lady is saying is this is New Gotham." You stood on a table. "The power isn't held by the few, it's up for grabs, so everyone should go get some!."

Everyone began cheering and ran out of the bar, stealing doors off of cars and causing mayhem.

"Nice speech, you can talk almost as good as you kill."

"Yeah, I know..." You smirked.

"So, you wanna have sex again?." She asked.

"Right now?." Your eyes widened.

"It's been so long since we've done it here and this was our first time together..." She frowned. "Please........."

"Fine, but you are the bottom this time, I had bugs trying to get somewhere they aren't supposed to go." 

Timeskip...yes, I know, still no lemon, moving on.

Two-Face and his goons walked into a bank, all of them armed with guns.

"Everybody on the floor!." Two-Face shouted.

"No, yous get on the floor." A goon pointed his gun at him.

"Phil, the fuck is going on?." Two-Face glared.

"Hey, I'm Steven, I'm the shift manager." A worker rose from the desk. "Uh, are we being robbed, or are you? Also, the bank was just robbed 15 minutes ago by someone who said he was, quote, "Penguin-like."

Timeskip...

"Two-Face double-crossed by his own goo--" A news reporter said before the broadcast cut to Riddler on the screen.

"Citizens of New Gotham, riddle me this..." Riddler began before another person took up half of the screen

"Citizens of New Gotham..." A riddler intern spoke up.

"Craig?." Riddler glared. "What the hell are you doing?."

"Who is this Craig you speak of?." Craig asked. "I am the Inquizitor-or-or--"

"Craig, get off the air!." Riddler shouted.

"Here's a quizzy quiz." Inquizitor said. "Who's not my boss anymore?."

He then pointed to Riddler.

"You!-"

"We're cutting in live from Penguin's casino and looks like I'm the big winner today." Harley cut in the broadcast by smashing open several cases from Penguin's casino. "Come and get it, New Gotham!."

Now, everywhere you looked, crime was being committed, and nobody was safe.

Timeskip...

"Are we all here?." Penguin lit up a cigar, he was in a room with Riddler, Two-Face, and Bane.

"We're missing one." Two-Face said before the door was frozen, then kicked open by Mr. Freeze.

"Your door is inoperable." Freeze spoke.

"It's a pull!." Penguin face-palmed.

"Uh... My bad." Freeze sat down next to Two-Face.

"This guy..." Harvey rolled his eyes

"Gentlemen, thank you for coming." Penguin stood up. "Let me cut to the chase, Harley Quinn's goon rebellion is destroying our way of life-"

"Stupid coffee machine!." Bane was punching the coffee machine with his fists. "It's impossible to figure out, we need goons!."

Riddler tapped the button on the side with his cane and the coffee machine started up.

"Well... well, I loosened it up." Bane frowned.

"Can I ask you a serious question?." Two-Face looked over at Bane. "Why are you so stupid?."

"Incredibly, Bane is right." Riddler said. "Not about the coffee maker, but we need goons, now they all think they're us, If everyone's a villain, then no one is.

"And we need to get them back in line." Two-Face slammed his hands on the table. "We need structure, right fellas, we can't run organized crime-"

"Uh... I'm not in organized crime." Freeze put his hand up. "I'm actually trying to find a cure for my wife's terminal illness."

"And how are you funding that?." Penguin asked.

"Uh." Freeze slowly put his hand down. "Through organized crime."

"Exactly... which we can't do with Harley leading this insurrection!." Penguin took his cigar out of his mouth. "We need to get her on board and get our goons back!."

"Uh... one note, one small note." Bane frowned. "Maybe we should have invited her to this?-"

"What?." Riddler growled.

"Shut it, Bane." Two-Face slammed his fist on the table again.

meanwhile...

"Oh, come on, let me pet you!." King chased a porcupine around the mall. "I want to teach you love."

"Hey Takashi, you're gonna freak!." Harley tossed the chef a small bag of white stuff. "I got the last fresh ginger in Gotham just like you asked!."

"Ginger!." Clayface cheered. "Hip, hip, hooray!."

"Holy shit!." Psycho growled. "It's about time, what took you so long?."

"Hey, you know, it's pretty rough out there, okay?." Harley glared at him. "I had to fight five new question-based villains."

"...Yeah..." You wiped the blood from your mask off. "more like I fought them, you grabbed the ginger and ran."

"It was a team effort, babe, I'm the brains, you're the brawn." Harley winked at you.

"Uh, Harley, a word." Ivy pulled her to the side.

"Is it "congratulations"?." Harley smiled. "I stopped all the villains by liberating the goons."

"Harls, this was your chance to control the city, but now instead of like five big assholes trying to run Gotham, we've got a thousand little assholes to deal with."

"Ugh, you worry too much, Ive." Harley rolled her eyes.

"Um, you know, I think I'm worrying like the perfect amount, to be honest." Ivy said to Harley, she then looked over at you and smiled, sitting on your lap.

"How are you feeling?." She asked you.

"Fine, at least now that you are sitting on my lap." You smiled before the two of you started kissing.

"Hey, you two are starting without me?." Harley frowned before looking at an invitation, she quickly opened it. "Harley Quinn, you are cordially invited to attend the inaugural meeting of the Injustice League."

"What is the Injustice League?." You asked in between kisses from Ivy.

"I believe it is a play on "Justice League." Clayface answered. "Boy, will they have a juicy lawsuit on their hands."

"Wonder Woman is very litigious." Psycho sighed. "Trust me."

"This is bullshit." Harley crumbled up the letter. "The city's supposed to be chaos!."

"You know, I'm trying to be less of a know-it-all, so I'm just gonna read." Ivy glared at Harley and walked away, before turning around and coming back.

"I can't, it's killing me, I told you so, okay, whoo!." She smiled. "Now I'm going to go read."

Harley folded her arms and then looked at the invite.

"It says I can bring someone along..." She read the bottom part, crumpled it up again, grabbed your arm, and dragged you out of the mall again.

"Aww, come on." You complained. "I don't want to go to this thing, I'll get bored."

"I'll get you an ice cream if you behave." Harley glared at you.

"Deal." You smiled.

Timeskip...

"Hey, fuckheads." Harley pushed the doors open, dragging you in behind her, you were licking your ice cream. "Look at that, gang's all here."

You slowly looked at the other members that were invited.

"Freeze, been a minute." You smiled. "How's your wife doing?."

"She's still frozen in solid Ice, HeadHunter." Freeze glared at you. "However, I am grateful you killed the man responsible for causing the lab accident in the first place."

"Yeah, it was no problem, he cried like a bitch when I pulled all his teeth out-"

"Anyway, Bane, good to see you on your feet after the Legion went boom." Harley smiled at Bane.

"Luckily I was away, dog-sitting for my Aunt Linda's girlfriend." Bane smiled. "We're very supportive."

"Aw, that's nice." Two-Face rolled his eyes.

"So, what's the deal?." Harley asked. "You guys get invites to this Injustice League dealio too?."

"Actually, Harley..." Penguin pressed a button and a banner dropped down showing the injustice league logo.

"Tada!."

"Wait, wait." You paused, taking a second to lick your ice cream. "You guys are the Injustice League?."

"We had time to get a banner made, but not enough to find one more executive chair?." Bane frowned, he was sitting on a folding chair while everyone else had comfy chairs.

"Oh, again with the swivel chair." Two-Face sighed.

"Your recklessness forced us to band together to restore order in the criminal underworld." Riddler pointed to Harley. "There's gotta be a hierarchy."

"Exactly!." Two-Face pounded his fist on the table. "It goes supervillains, sidekicks, goons that went to Harvard, and then goons."

"Okay." Harley growled. "That's just the same old shit."

"Yeah." You nodded. "This is a chance to do something new...also this is really good ice cream."

"Much gratitude for the segue." Freeze sighed as Penguin unrolled a map of Gotham. "Feast your eyes on new...New Gotham."

"Hey look, there's you right there Harley." You pointed at Harley's spot with your Ice Cream, she gripped her bat and swung it with all her might, destroying both the map and table.

"Hey!." Penguin shouted.

"Where did this map come from?." Bane picked up the two halves of the map. "I'm still on a goddamn folding chair."

"Jesus, Bane." Riddler sighed. "We all thought it would be funny if we gave you a folding chair...and we were right!."

"Oh, I see your joke now." Bane looked at his tiny chair. "Your... jest will be avenged."

"Anyway... we've divided up Gotham." Penguin looked at Harley. 

"Each of us will control a territory where we make our own rules." Two-Face smirked.

"Which you could have seen if we still had the map." Penguin glared at Harley.

"Guess which part was gonna yours?." Riddler smirked. "Hint, the bad part."

"I took out Joker, so I make the rules." Harley growled. "And this shit won't fly, it ain't happening."

"Told ya." Two-Face sighed before Freeze took out his ray and blasted Harley with it, Freezing her in place.

"Harley?..." You looked at Harley who was now completely frozen.

"...As for you HeadHunter, well, we'll pay you to be our assassin, what was your price range again?." Penguin pulled out his wallet.

"It depends on the type of person." You answered. "If you are after some government officials, that's gonna cost an arm and leg, and second, I'm not leaving here without Harley!."

"Fine, suit yourself." Penguin took out his umbrella and shot at you, you ducked the bullet and started firing some of your own, the villains scattered around the room, first Riddler tried to attack you with his cane but you blocked it and kicked him in the balls, you then tossed him into Two-Face who collided with the wall, Penguin tried to stab you before you avoided it and headbutted him, sweeping his legs and punching him in the face.

You slowly looked over at Bane.

"Alright, alright, you win...also what flavor was this?." Bane picked up your ice cream cone, before you could answer, Freeze froze you with his ray before kicking you out of the door, sending you flying down the steps and colliding into a wall, luckily it was enough to break the ice and free you.

"I'm coming for you Harley!." You shouted before a bunch of henchmen dragged you outside and tossed you outside the gates, you tried to get back in but you were zapped every time you touched the gate.

"Damn!." You sighed. "Alright, if Harley won't be able to lead the crew, looks like it's up to me!."

Timeskip... 

You had arrived back at the mall, tired and out of breath.

"So, how did the meeting go?." Psycho asked as he was looked over at you.

"Harley's in trouble, she's a solid block of ice thanks to Freeze and the rest of those assholes..."

"What!?." Ivy threw her book down.

"We gotta save her!." King quickly ate the sushi he was given and also ran over to you.

"Do you know where's she being kept at?." Clayface asked.

"I assume one of their lairs, possibly Penguin's fancy fucking bar and casino place-"

"The iceberg lounge." Sy answered.

"Right, whatever, all I know is Harley is encased in a giant block of ice, we just need to find her, get her out of there without damaging her in any way, and avoid all the guards that will try and kill them."

"I don't suppose you have a plan?." Psycho asked.

"Oh trust me..." You smirked. "I've got several..."

...Two months and over 200 failed plans later....

"I quit." You groaned, holding an icepack over your right eye. "Someone else be the brains of the team, I'm just the brawn."

"Can we please try mine, I've had an idea since your 69th failed heist." Clayface smiled.

"Fine, just as long as I don't get shot again." You groaned.

Timeskip...again...

Penguin walked into the Iceberg Lounge, a smile on his face.

"Hey, Mr. Penguin!." A man greeted him.

"Good to see you, Mr. Penguin!." A waiter smiled.

"How ya doing tonight, Mr. Penguin?." A lady asked him.

"Fine, fine." He smiled, then walked past another female.

"Hey, sex upstairs later?." He laughed before stepping into an elevator. "It's good to be the Penguin."

"Mr. Penguin, good to see yo--" another waiter greeted him before Penguin shot him with his umbrella.

"Okay, that's too many people saying hello to me." He growled. "It feels disingenuous."

"I actually meant it..." The waiter said as he died before the elevator reached the top floor.

"Why so blue, Harley?." Penguin smiled looking at the ice sculpture of Harley. "It's a party for Christ's sake!."

"Monsieur Penguin, uh, what can I get for you?." Clayface, disguised as a waiter spoke with a very bad French accent.

"Where's Jeffrey?." Penguin looked around.

"You kil... killed him?." Clayface said.

"Oh, that does sound like me." Penguin nodded.

"Would you like some champagne?." Clayface poured him a glass. "To celebrate your taking back the city, perhaps make a little toast to your magnificent self?."

"Mmm, why not!." Penguin smiled and began walking towards the stage.

"The bird has taken the worm." Clayface whispered into an earpiece.

"Tweet, tweet." Psycho said. 

"Tweet, tweet." King whispered.

"We're here." Ivy said as you and her were by the blackjack table.

"And?." Clayface awaited for the words.

"And I'm not saying "tweet, tweet." oh sh-"

"She said it!." Clayface smiled. "But one birdie left..."

"Tweet, tweet, baby." Sy smiled, he was on the stage, playing the piano as Penguin jumped onto it.

"We're ready." Clayface smiled. "Let's hatch this egg."

"Hit me again." You looked at the dealer before Ivy grabbed your face and made you look at the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen!." Penguin smiled. "We're killing it, we put down the goon rebellion and they're thanking us for it...We carved up the city and they're thanking us for it."

"Sy, smoke, smoke!." You shouted into an earpiece.

"Right, on it." Sy pressed a button and smoke began coming out of his chair.

"So I'd just like to raise a glass and..." Penguin continued his speech as you all started moving towards Harley.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!." Penguin shouted. "You all back there, sit down. I'm talking."

You, Ivy, King, Psycho, and Sy sat down quickly.

"Stall Sy, stall." Clayface whispered.

"As I was saying... Eh... Uh..." Penguin continued speaking.

"Hey, excuse me!." Sy interrupted. "We got a birthday boy tonight-

"What?." Penguin glared at him.

"And a one... And a two." Sy started playing Happy Birthday. "Happy birthday to you!." 

"Okay Psycho, nice and easy." King said as he slowly got the sculpture on the flat end before you all covered it with a tablecloth.

"Easy, Careful." Ivy warned as you all started moving it. "Careful!."

"Happy birthday dear...Penguin." Sy smiled. "Can I call you Penguin?."

You slowly began moving the sculpture towards the door.

"Happy birthday to you!."

"All right guys, let's go." You whispered as you all continued moving.

"It's not my birthday." The penguin looked confused.

"And many more!." Sy continued to sing.

"I said it's not my birthday," Penguin shouted. "And can we lighten up on the damn smoke?."

The smoke slowly cleared.

"As I was saying... thanks to me, and of course everyone's favorite ice sculpture, Harley Quinn."

When the lights turned on the display table, the sculpture was gone, Penguin looked around before seeing Ivy, King, Psycho, and You all pushing it out the door, with you motioning him to suck it as you left.

"Stop them!." Penguin shouted as guards began to chase you down the halls.

"All right, we gotta make this extraction as gentle as possible." Ivy began running past you, holding your hand. "We can't rattle her because her life is in the balance, okay-"

King tripped the block of ice and collided with a wall and everyone, including the guards, winced in pain.

"Okay, this is not a good start." Ivy ran over and removed a cracked part of the sculpture, the part covering her face.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!." Harley began screaming. "Oh, hey, Ive."

"Harls!." Ivy smiled. "You okay?."

"How are you feeling?." You asked.

"Get me the fuck outta this!." Harley shouted.

"Everybody stand back!." Sy rolled over to the side of the ice block and turned his wheels into turbo mode.

His chair rocketed him and Harley down the halls while the rest of you began kicking the shit out of guards along the way.

"Somebody free my swinging arm!." Harley shouted.

"Fire finger, flame begin!." Sy activated his robotic flame finger and burned off Harley's right arm, her bat still in her hand.

She was able to take out five guards by breaking their knees with her bat while the rest of you kept demolishing the rest of them.

A group of them was at the end of the hallway and Psycho used his telekinesis powers to launch the ice block at the guards, taking them down as if they were bowling pins, the doors shut from the other side as guards surrounded the rest of you.

Timeskip...

After tossing around guards and making the halls turn from bed to red, you all entered into the room, looking for Harley.

"Hey Harley, are you--" You looked over and your eyes widened.

"Ooh, yikes." You saw the end of Harley's bat in Penguin's head.

"It's about to get way more "yikes." babe." Harley pulled the bat out of Penguin's head and he collapsed on the ground, dead, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

"Yeah, that was definitely more "yikes."" King looked at Penguin's body.

"Can we go get coffee?." Harley smiled at you and Ivy.

Timeskip...

All of you were at a different bar, getting some drinks, well, Harley had a coffee.

"They put me on ice and an hour later the goons crawl back to the bosses?." Harley sighed.

"Harley, this might come as a shock to you, so I wanna... I want to say it as delicately as I can--" Ivy looked at you then back at her. 

"You've been iced for two months!." You said.

"Two months!?." Harley shouted. 

"Um... Well, we've been we've been trying to break you out the whole time." Ivy put a hand on her shoulder. "And hell, I got shot twice-"

"Four times for me." You sipped your drink.

"I never got shot, but I did put a lot of personal projects aside trying to save you." Psycho looked over at Harley.

"I never realized how much we relied on your leadership before." King groaned. "I mean, I don't want to say things were a disaster in your absence, but they weren't not a disaster."

"In fact, things got so dire we finally got desperate enough to try the talking block of mud's stupid plan." Sy looked at Clayfce.

"Which was a rousing success!." Clayface bowed. "You see, usually Penguin only hires the most distinguished waiters, which is why I had to develop my Francois character...He was born... to a scullery maid--"

"Okay, thank you!." Harley stopped him. "So, in the last two months, did I miss anything other than Clayface's long-winded backstories?."

"Harley, just come with me." Ivy took Harley outside and motioned you to follow her, which you did.

"So after the goons fell back in line, the Injustice League carved up the city." Ivy leads Harley outside.

"They call it new New Gotham." You walked alongside them.

"Which is... I mean, I can't even..." Ivy looked around the city...

"You were right all along, Ive." Harley looked at her. "I shoulda taken control from the start...Riddler, Two-Face, Freeze, Bane, I'm taking 'em all down...And when I'm done, Gotham is gonna be... mine!."

When Harley raised her bat in the air, lightning struck.

"Cool." You and Ivy smiled.