Harley was looking for a supervillain lair, after all, all great villains had one, Penguin, Riddler, Freeze...Joker, she wanted to have a lair that was kick-ass, unfortunately, she dragged you and Ivy along as well.

"Please! Please don't! Come on, I got a family!." An old man said before being dropped into a volcano, the executioner turned and waved at You, Harley, and Ivy.

"Now, that's just a staging kill, but if volcano sacrifices is your thing, this is the lair for you." The real estate agent smiled.

"I'll take it!." Harley smiled enthusiastically.

"Great!." The woman reached into her bag. LI'll draw up the papers--"

"Aah... You know, on the other hand, is the giant skull a bit too flashy for my brand?." Harley looked around.

"But the cool volcano, it has real lava!." You smiled.

"Can we see some other options?." Ivy asked.

"But Valcano...." You frowned as Ivy dragged you away from it, Harley following behind.

Timeskip...

"You'll love this one." The woman smiled as you all were standing in an open field. "A short getaway from all the major banks."

"Sounds like a dream." Harley looked around. "Where is it?."

"You're standing on it." The woman smiled looking at the ground.

"...An open field?..." you laughed. "Wow we hit the fucking jackpot-"

"I can leave if you want-" the woman spoke.

"NO!." Harley and Ivy both said.

"Please tell us about the lair," Ivy spoke before wrapping a vine around your neck. "And you, shut it!."

"Okay, so this lair is an intricate system of tunnels carved by The Mole." The woman spoke again and you laughed before Ivy shoved a vine down your throat, forcing you to deepthroat it.

"Mmm mm mm!." You gagged.

"Anyway." Harley glared at you before looking back at the real estate agent. "I mean, hey, I love it, but am I really going for a "mole lady" vibe?."

"Ah, okay. Next!." Ivy sighed.

"Mmm mm mmm mmm mmm?." You groaned, Harley, Ivy, and the real estate agent walked away from you. "Mmm?..."

Timeskip...

After Ivy came back for you (two hours later) you promised to behave, but you missed the next three lairs the woman showed them, a trailer in the middle of the desert that was inhabited by meth dealers, a carnival with crappy out-of-control rides and a pizza place that had killer robots.

You all were now in a very cold mall, it was frozen over.

"The last tenant, Mr. Freeze, did a number on the place, but the castle is perfect for entertaining."

"Hmm, not sure my nips, her buds and his small bullet can handle this cold." Harley shivered pointing to both you and Ivy.

"Fuck you." You flipped Harley off, Ivy gave you a glare and raised her hand, a vine wrapped around your leg.

"You've seen six lairs." The woman glares at Harley, now becoming impatient.

"Okay, thank you." Ivy said. "Let's just discuss this out of the cold."

Timeskip...

You all were now back at Ivy's apartment, sitting on chairs.

"A supervillain's lair is a reflection of who they really are." The woman was sitting on a chair. "So, who is Harley Quinn?."

"That's a hard question to ans--" Harley tried to answer before King Shark walked in.

"Harls, you got us uniforms!." King Shark smiled as he put down a box and opened it up, showing a bunch of t-shirts.

"Ooh, Suicide Squad!." He smiled. "Is that our name?."

"I like it." You smiled at Shark tossed you a shirt, you quickly put it on and looked in a broken mirror.

"Ugh, it's a group that keeps trying to get me to join." Harley rolled her eyes as King Shark put a shirt on her.

"I don't want to run lines with you." Dr. Pyscho came out of a different room looking pissed.

"Good!." Clayface nodded. "Because I despise that phrase, people run marathons, not lines." he raised a fist. "Actors exchange true-"

"Look what Harley got us." King Shark put Clayface and Pyscho in a t-shirt, Pyscho's was on backwards.

"Ivy, you're evicted!." Sy rolled in. "You and the circus act here need to move out faster than sauerkraut through my lower intestine."

"Yes, Sy!." Ivy groaned. "We're leaving in a minute."

"Good." Sy smiled. "I'm showing the place to-" Before he could finish, Ivy shut the door on him.

"That just cost you your security deposit!."

"You know what, why don't I come back another time?." The woman got up from her chair.

"No, sorry, sorry, don't go." Harley sat her back down. "Look, it's just Joker made the big decisions."

"Okay." Ivy sighed. "How about we ask you some questions and maybe that'll help?."

"Worth a shot." The real estate woman adjusted her glasses. "Why did you first become a villain?."

"Well, you know, it's because--" Harley started speaking.

"There you go." Ivy smiled. "You know this answer."

"Uh, well..." Harley struggled. 

"You know this." Ivy said again.

"I guess..." Harley's eyes slowly widened, she was drawing blanks. "I don't know."

"Oh, my God." Ivy sighed.

"What villain do you most admire?." The woman asked.

"I don't know!." Harley got up and started pacing.

 "Harley!." Ivy looked worried.

"Chocolate or vanilla!."The woman shouted.

"I don't know!." Harley shouted back, crossing her arms.

"Harley, I can't help you, until you tell me who you are!." The woman shouted.

"I don't know! I don't know! I don't knowwwwww!." Harley shouted but you all heard a sound and Harley froze in place, her eyes remained open and she was as still as a statue.

"Oh, shit." Ivy said. "Harley?." no responce came from Harley, Ivy waved her hand in front of her face.

"Honey, can you hear me?"

"Eugh "Dry clean only." fuck this." Pyscho finally turned the shirt around before looking at Harley. "Okay, who broke Harley?."

The real estate woman ran out of there like a bat out of hell, fearing for her life, everyone else looked concerned for Harley.

"Harley, are you in there?." You waved your hand in front of her face before snapping a few times. "Harls?..."

King Shark put his mouth around Harley, and you all freaked out.

"Whoa!." Ivy shouted. "Stop!."

"Unmouth her, fiend!." Clayface shouted.

"I was just trying to give her CPR." King Shark backed away.

"Harley, snap out of it!." Ivy snapped her fingers. "Come on!."

"Ah!." Pyscho smiled. "No response to physical stimuli."

"So what does that mean?." You asked.

"It's probably a level-four brain freeze." Pyscho smiled.

"Psycho, can you fix her?." Ivy asked. "Like, go in her brain and do the fucking thing."

"That sounds like something a doctor could do." Psycho looked away. "But not someone you just referred to as "Psycho."'

"Ugh, fine, Dr. Psycho!" Ivy rolled her eys.

"Yes!." Psycho said in a comical voice

"Can you fix her?." Ivy asked.

"Can I fix her?." Psycho laughed. "Of course I can fix her, I'm just gonna slip inside her brain, do my thing, wham-bam, thank you, ma'am and I'm done in-a two minutes."

"Oh, fucking gross!." Ivy shoved him away. "You think I'm gonna let you creep around Harley's head without us, you perv?."

"Yea, I don't trust you for a second." You stood next to Ivy.

"Indeed, you perv!." Clayface nodded.

"You're the pervs!." Psycho glared at all of you. "But, as a professional, I will tell you to prepare because this is serious, meticulous, neuron processing we're about to undertake."

"...So what does that mean?." You asked.

"Now, everyone hold hands and squeeze your butt cheeks together." Psycho said.

You all held hands and squeezed your cheeks together, suddenly Psycho used his mind powers to transport your spirits into Harley's mind, your bodies falling on the ground, lifeless, as if you were dead.

"Ahhhhh!." You all screamed as you landed in Harley's mind.

"Whoa!." Ivy dusted herself off. "Everyone okay?."

"Think so..." you got up and felt your leg crack. "...maybe."

"Where's Psycho?." Ivy asked before Psycho's head came out of Clayface's chest, he was covered in clay.

"Dr. Psycho!."

"What an ugly baby I have birthed." Clayface said.

"Does he taste like fudge?." King Shark asked. "In my dreams, he does."

"What is wrong with you?." You asked King Shark.

"I just have a habit of biting things, it's my nature." he laughed and booped your nose.

"Do that again and I'll turn you into sushi, got it?."

"Yes sir." King Shark backed away.

"Huh, Harley's brain is much cleaner and less Harley-ish than I would have imagined." Ivy looked around her friend's mind, it was surprisingly clear.

"I know!." Psycho smiled. "Because this is her Museum of Memories."

"Oh!." You saw a memory on one of the walls. "Look at this one."

"You came home late again, Nick, smelling like alcohol and whore." Harley was playing with her dolls.

"She's just a friend from work, stop breathing down my neck, Sharon." Harley moved Nick and made him push Sharon over.

"Can't breathe down what's not there, you cocksucker!." Harley grabbed a cleaver and chopped Nick's head off.

"Mamma mia!." Pyscho laughed.

"It's pretty good scene work for a six-year-old." Clayface watched on, you looked at one of her high school memories.

"Hey, here's Harley graduating." You smiled as everyone else came over to watch.

"I am honored to be the valedictorian, and I just want to thank absolutely no one." Harley then gave her entire high school middle fingers. Fuck all of ya, fuck the principal. fuck the shop teacher that looks at my ass every time I walk out of class, yeah, I see you, have a great fucking summer!."

"I basically gave the same speech at my sister's wedding." Psycho said as you all walked along, you suddenly saw Harley on a couch, watching the news.

"Harley!?." You looked shocked, she turned around and waved. 

"Oh, hey, guys." 

"Wait." King Shark's jaw dropped. "How can Harley be in here if we're in Harley, and if Harley is--"

"Yeah, I wouldn't think too hard about bringing logic for the next 20 minutes."

"We're just here to give you a hard reboot." Psycho said and slapped Harley's hand as she tried to touch a memory.

"Ow!." Harley shook her hand.

"Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, listen up." Pyscho wagged his finger. "While I find the switch, you follow hooker rules."

"No kissing on the mouth?." You and Ivy said at the same time, before looking at each other, surprised.

"I'm sorry." Pyscho corrected himself. "Stripper rules, look but don't touch, the brain will protect itself if it feels threatened."

"Is this kissing on the mouth rule allowed?." You looked at Ivy who looked away quickly, trying her hardest not to blush. "Are you blushing?..." your eyes widened.

"...What?. Me no, never, never in a million years would I find someone like you attractive...."

"Oh...okay..." You walked away.

"No...wait, damnit!." Ivy quietly facepalmed. "Why?...why am I like this!-"

"Hey, Ive, I think there's something really screwed up about me." Harley grabbed her friend's arm.

"I want to say this in just the most loving way, but, there's no way that this is just occurring to you now?..." Ivy looked at Harley before looking at you as you continued looking around Harley's mind.

"No, I mean, screwed up on top of the regular screwed up." Harley replied. "I mean, why can't I make a decision?."

"Well, we're in your mind right now, so the answer has to be here somewhere." Ivy sighed. "What do you think Y/n?."

"I think I'm going to need a smoke after this."

"Remember what I told you about smoking?." Ivy grabbed your arm. "It'll kill you."

"You must be really fun at parties..." you rolled your eyes.

"And you must be really insecure about your short little-"

"It's average size!." You shouted.

"How do you know it's short?-" Harley looked at Ivy.

"Am I only the one feeling deja vu?." Clayface asked after hearing that again.

"Umm, well..." Ivy looked around. "Uh hey, look it's your origin story!." She dragged Harley over to a memory, away from you.

"Oh, I remember this!." Harley angrily spoke. "Okay, it's when that bleached asshole pushed me and bleached mine."

The memory skipped the part of Joker pushing Harley into the pool of acid.

"Hey, it glitched and skipped over Joker pushing me." Harley looked confused before it did it yet again. "Wha-- It did it again, you see that?."

"Whoa, that's weird." Ivy looked confused.

"It's like a piece of your memory is missing." You walked up seeing it play again. "Or maybe you really did Jump in-"

"No, this is my origin story. It says so right here." Harley pointed to an engraving right next to the memory. "Look, your origin story's how you become who you are, if it's screwed up, no surprise I am."

"Ugh, let me see this." Harley walked past the line to the memory.

"No!." You shouted.

"Um, I, uh, I wouldn't do that." Ivy tried to grab Harley. "I wouldn't-- Oh!."

Harley had put her hand on the memory and the white walls turned red and an alarm went off.

"No one listens to me!." Pyscho growled running back. "Who touched something, Who did it!?." He looked around, pissed. "Was I not clear about the stripper rule?."

"I was just trying to touch myself!." Harley glared. "That is a stripper rule."

"You triggered a brain lockdown!." Pyscho shouted "We need to get out of here before-"

Suddenly, the exit door out of Harley's mind shut. "Before that happens."

"No, no, no, no, the fuck? Are we trapped in here?." Ivy looked around, looking worried. "You need to tell me right now if we're trapped in here!."

"Why?." You asked before Ivy gripped your shoulders.

"'Cause I'm gonna freak the fuck out!." She began hugging you. "What's gonna happen to my plants!?."

"Girl, we need to get you friends." King Shark said.

"Oh, we wanna come with you, we're afraid you're gonna mind molest her!." Pyscho mocked everyone from the start before you all entered Harley's mind.

"Now who's the mind molesters? You!." He pointed at all of you. "You are the mind molesters!."

You all heard crying and King Shark saw a four-year-old Harley crying, looking scared.

"Ooh, are you lost, little girl?." King Shark approached the child who nodded.

"No need for tears, munchkin." He wiped the tears away. "I'll help you find your way-"

The four-year-old began grabbing King Shark and like Mario does to Bowser began slamming him and swinging him by the tail.

"Ow!. Oh!. Oh!. Get off me!. Oh, stop!." King Shark screamed. "This little child is killing me!."

Harley kicked the child version of her off of King Shark and it landed against the wall with a sickening thud.

"Why did that sweet little you attack me?." King Shark got up.

"Oh, yeah, I wasn't sweet at that age." Harley sighed. "Or any age, really, but I was a total shit back then."

"Which is why the brain sent it." Pyscho groaned. "It thinks we're intruders, and yes, if we die in Harley's mind, we die in real life!."

"Ooh, Nightmare on Elm Street rules." Clayface said as the child Harley got up, now showing yellow eyes, and then several more appeared, all of them showing razor-sharp teeth.

"...What the fuck?..." You said.  "Do you have any insights on what we should do here?."

All the Harley's leaped towards all of you.

"Run!." Pyscho shouted and all of you began sprinting away. 

"Yeah, that's what I was gonna say." You pulled out your guns and began firing several rounds into the child Harley's reloading the magazine quickly, it was ineffective as they kept getting up and chasing you. "Oh well fuck me then, we're gonna die!."

"Exit with alacrity sir." Clayface continued sprinting, a little slower than you.

"Harleys, this is Harley, stop!." Harley tried to convince the children to stop but they kept running after everyone.

"God, I hate brain physics." Pyscho groaned as he kept running.

"Hey, quit it and I'll tell you where Mom hides the makeup." Harley looked back at the evil children who were gaining on everyone.

"Damn it. I was sure that was gonna work."

"Come on." Psycho shouted. "Stop fucking around and follow me."

You saw an elevator open up and sprinted faster.

"We got an elevator!."

You reached it first and held the doors open for everyone to get in, one of the Harleys jumped at you but you shot it in the head and got inside, closing the door and breathing heavily.

"You know, in a way, it's almost, like, comforting to know that you've always been this fucked up." you said to Harley.

"Yeah, isn't it? You know, I'm starting to realize why my mother recycled so many wine bottles back then." Harley looked down.

"Fun as this has been, let's get the fuck out of here, all right?." Psycho wipped the sweat from his forehead. "There should be an emergency exit to the real world in Harley's subconscious somewhere, which I think is this button right here."

He tried to hit it but it was too short, King Shark went to hit it but he tripped over the doctor and his fin hit the wrong button.

"Okay, your stupid fin hit the wrong button, dummy." Psycho glared at King Shark as the elevator moved.

"Do not fin shame me." King Shark glared back.

"He must have hit the button to the optic nerve." Harley spoke, seeing the view from her eyes.

"Ooh, looking through the eyes of another." Clayface smiled. "Now it appears we're playing by Being John Malcovich rules."

You all saw through Harley's eyes and what you saw was Sy and a woman looking at Harley's face, Sy was shaking his head seeing all the "dead" bodies lying around.

"Another suicide cult." He sighed. "If word gets out, I'll never be able to rent this fakakta apartment."

"So let's make sure it doesn't." The woman said. "Where's the bleach and the bone saw?."

"No, no time for that." Sy looked at her. "And I'm not paying to re-carpet this place."

"So we call our explosives guy." The woman suggested.

"He exploded." Sy answered.

"Well, I guess eventually, the worms will get us all." She looked down as well. "Why not burn down the place and take the insurance?."

"A little Jewish lightning never hurt anyone." Sy smiled. "A fire, brilliant!."

"Really?."

"We'll burn the bodies in this old furnace I own!." Sy smiled happily.

"Oh, yes!." The woman smiled. "There's the Sy who armed Bin Laden in the '80s."

"Let's do this." Sy clapped his hands together.

"Close slutty Casper's eyes, will ya?." The woman looked at Harley. "Feels like she's watching me."

"Sure thing, baby." Sy put his hands over Harley's eyes and that's when everything went dark for all of you in the elevator.

"I can't believe Sy used to be like a spy." Ivy rubbed her arm. "He's so Gross."

"You're looking for gross." Harley nodded. "Yeah, that's it."

"What's "Jewish Lightning"?." King Shark asked.

Perhaps Black Lightning's Israeli cousin." Clayface answered.

"Who the hell is Black Lighting?." You asked confused.

"Excuse me!." Pyscho shouted. "But am I the only one who heard that they're gonna burn our fucking bodies?."

"So, stop yapping and do something!." Harley picked the short doctor up so he could hit the correct button, the elevator moved to a different part of the brain.

"Harley, welcome to your subconscious." Pyscho smiled as the doors opened, revealing a carnival with a bunch of Jokers in ringmaster outfits at various rides all offering you a chance to play some games..

"Step right up."

"Guess your Wi-Fi password." 

"Wack-an-insecurity." 

"Try your hand at a game."

"Take your chance."

 "Step right up."

"Ugh, are you shitting me?." Harley groaned.

"So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're not over your ex-boyfriend." Ivy sighed. "I mean, are you sure that this glitch is just in your origin story?."

"Yes, you, young lady, the one with the smeared lipstick who is still clearly obsessed with me." one of the Joker pointed at Harley. "Try your luck at a game of skill?."

"What's the game?." You asked, Harley glared at you.

"Win Daddy's Love!." The Joker smiled.

"Yeah, don't bother with that one." Harley smirked, walking away.

"Oh, I know it's rigged." King Shark also walked away.

"Come on!." Pyscho looked around. "Everybody spread out and just look for the emergency exit, all right?."

You looked around and checked a tent, that's when one of the demon Harleys tackled you and tried biting your neck.

"AHH, GET IT OFF ME!!!." You screamed.

Ivy used her vines to chuck the demonic Harley into a few of the Jokers before helping you up, that's when more began chasing you again.

"Come on!." Ivy shouted, holding your hand and you two ran away, the other four following you, you ran in every direction but came to a dead end, and they all surrounded you.

"We are trapped!." Clayface weeped. "What I wouldn't give for a deus ex machina right now!."

Just then, someone from behind you all managed to take out a few of the Harleys with ease, he was wearing a dark clock so you couldn't see his face.

"Follow me." A voice said "I know the way." He quickly darted down in another direction.

"Sorry, you didn't get that machina you were talking about." King Shark looked at Clayface. "But at least, that guy showed up out of nowhere to save us for no reason."

You all followed the mysterious stranger who somehow made you all run faster and get away from the demon Harleys he ran through a tent and it led you to the emergency exit that you all were looking for.

"Hey, hey, this is it!." Pyscho panted before looking at the stranger. "Thank you for helping us... whoever the fuck you are."

The mystery man removed his hood and revealed himself.

"Oh, my God!." Harley squealed. "It's 11-year old Frankie Muniz!."

"...Who?..." You asked.

"Hi, Harley." Frankie smiled.

"He knows my name." Harley blushed. "I could die!."

"Yeah, this isn't creepy." Ivy looked at you, and you simply shrugged.

"No, it's not like that at all." Frankie smiled.

"Yeah, you know, I had a major crush on him when I was a kid." Harley smiled.

"Well, I guess that's different." You say, looking at Harley now.

"Yeah, you know, I was planning to kidnap him, marry him then once we hit puberty, I was gonna tell him that I was taking birth control, but then, like, not take it, and I get pregnant with his kid!."

"And back to creepy." You and Ivy say at the same time.

"Yeah, I know what's going on here," Psycho smirked. "He was Harley's truest love, so, some small, sane part of her brain sent her a vision of him to help us."

"That's right." Frankie smiled again. "Good luck, Harley." He flipped the hood back up.

"BTW, all those times you stared at my poster in your bedroom, I was staring back."

"I knew it!." Harley smiled.

"Take care." Frankie ran off.

"Can you believe that!!!!!?." Harley shook you, happily.

"No, I really can't!!!!!!!!!." You shouted as she shook you, you felt like you were about to vomit with how fast she was shaking you around.

"Let's go." Pyscho sighed. "There's two geriatrics trying to burn our bodies before NCIS, comes on."

You all opened up the exit door.

"Come on, come on." Psycho was sweating.  "They're probably heating up the furnace right now."

"Is that--" Harley looked across a river and saw a large island.

"Repressed Memory Island?." Pyscho filled in her question for her. "Yeah, that's where you keep all your screwed-up memories, trust me, you do not want to go anywhere near it."

"Ive, remember the glitch in my origins story?." Harley looked at Ivy.

"Oh, so you think it's like a repressed memory or something?." Ivy looked at Harley.

"Right." Harley nodded. "And it's on that island."

"Oh, then we gotta go." Ivy nodded back.

"And what did I just say about going to that island!?." Pyscho shouted. "We are all going to be burned to death if we don't leave your mind right now!."

"Okay, fine." Harley began walking towards the Island. "Then you go, I'm not leaving, in the real world I'm still catatonic, drooling all over myself."

"Okay, she made her choice." Psycho looked at the rest of you. "Let's go."

"I'm going with Harley." Ivy followed her friend.

"Of course you are." Psycho rolled his eyes. "She's your only friend."

"That's true." Ivy continued walking "But that's by design".

"..Oh so I just don't exist then." You folded your arms. "I see how it is."

"Because she's the only human being I think is worth a shit." Ivy continued. "Well...one of the two people I think are worth a shit." she slowly smiled at you...and you could see that she was blushing, not even trying to hide it this time.

You smiled at Ivy, feeling touched, you went to hug her but she stopped you.

"Hey, Clayface, how many acting jobs did you get before Harley gave you one?." Ivy looked at Clayface

"Well, I filled in for the dog that played Air Bud, when he was run over by me the second to the last day of shitting." Clayface smiled. "You know what? I'm in."

"And, Psycho, who took you in when literally, the worst people on the planet turned you away?." Ivy looked at Pyscho who growled.

"Fine!." The doctor folded his arms. "I'm in."

"And, King Shark, let's all remember the time--" 

"I'm in!." King Shark smiled.

"Oh, thank God, 'cause I had nothing." Ivy smiled looking at you. "Y/n-"

"Save it..." You smiled. "I'm in."

Ivy smiled and hugged you tightly, you couldn't see it but her cheeks were bright green from how much she was blushing.

"We'll have fun!." you all heard the evil child Harleys speaking now from under the docks. "Hey, come play with us."

Suddenly all of them popped out from underneath Harley and tried attacking her.

"If I go down, I'm taking all you little shits with me!." Harley gripped a loose plank of wood.

You grabbed Psycho and chucked him like a bowling ball at the killer children, taking them out.

"Hey!." Psycho glared at you. "that was not the plan, tiny dick!."

More of the Harleys were behind all of you and you, Ivy, Shark, and Clayface backed up by Harley and Pyscho on the docks.

"We might be fucked." Harley gulped. "You guys totally should have left."

"Harley Quinn, it has been the utmost pleasure to serve in your company." Clayface sighed and walked up to the Harley's.

"Clayface, no!." Harley shouted before Clayface morphed into Frankie Muniz.

"Well, hello, it is I, Frankie Muniz!." He said before running through the Harley who chased after him.

"I love you, Frankie." They all shouted.

"Ah, screw this." Psycho looked at the Island across the river, in the water were a bunch of sharks. "Now, how the hell are we gonna get to that island?."

You all looked at King Shark and he nodded, jumping into the water and you all hopped on him and he began swimming.

"I cannot believe this. I mean, it is just the most unlikely set of circumstances that would put me about 70% shark, in a situation that pretty much demands a mostly shark man." He laughed as he quickly swam to the other side.

"Oh, we made it!" Harley clapped as she began running inside, Pyscho following her, you were going to go before Ivy stopped you.

"Hey...can I talk with you for a second?." She smiled.

"Sure, what's up?." You smiled.

"Well...I do care about you...a lot...as well as Harley...you both helped me through a lot...you were actually very kind to me back in Arkham and you were the first guy I actually could be comfortable around, you were actually really funny, for an assassin."

"...Aww." You smiled and hugged her again. "Thank you...you mean a to me as well..."

"R-Really!?." She asked, her eyes widened then she smiled, then blushed.

"Yeah, of course...You and Harley were the only two people I connected with, I felt like I could open up and be funny around you two and it felt really nice, and I knew you both went through some hard shit and I just want you to know...whatever happens...I'm here for you, for whatever reason..." 

This made Ivy's heart melt, she had a big smile on her face.

"Is there a reason as to why you are looking at me like tha-" Before you could finish, Ivy kissed you on the lips, wrapping her arms around you, your eyes widened but you didn't resist and kissed her back, after a few seconds, you both pulled away.

"Is it me, or is it getting kind of warm around here?." You smiled and she blushed madly.

"Hey, what are you two doing!?." Pyscho yelled. "Come on!."

You and Ivy followed him inside and caught up with Harley.

"Why does it look like Arkham?." Harley walked around, seeing her suppressed memories behind locked cell doors.

"Because your sick brain is trying to lock up memories so vile that you repress them, so do not look-okay, why do I even try?." Psycho saw Harley going up to one of the doors and opened it.

"When's Daddy done with his business meeting?." child Harley watched from the window as her father was getting beaten up by mobsters and robbed while her mother was drinking wine.

"That's enough." You quickly pulled Harley away from the door and looked at the next one.

"If you violate the restraining order again, Mr. Muniz will take legal action." Harley read the paper and crumbled it up and blew a kiss to the poster.  "See ya soon, Frankie."

"So that's why I went to juvie." Harley smiled.

You all heard maniacal laughter and opened the next door, it was Harley's origin story, with Harleen now looking over the railing into a pool of acid, the Joker was standing next to her.

"Here we are, puddin'." Joker smiled. "Dive in as Harleen Quinzel, and rise as Harley Quinn...My beautiful creation."

"Okay, look, here it comes. Here's when that piece of shit pushes me in the acid." Harley glared, watching on.

"If you love me, then jump!." Joker smiled. "And you'll be mine forever."

"A dream come true, puddin'." Harleen smiled...before...jumping into the acid, all on her own.

"Wait!..." Harley's jaw dropped before she fell to her knees. "No!."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Ivy hugged her. "Are you okay?."

"This whole time I thought he pushed me." Harley looked sad. "That it wasn't my choice...But it... it was."

"Whoa, so you told yourself it was out of your control?." You looked at her, then back at the memory again.

"Yeah, because it was easier to blame him than accept the truth." Harley looked down.

"And the truth being, what, exactly?." Ivy asked as Harley looked back at Joker's smug grin, suddenly she glared at him.

"That it was always my choice." she quietly spoke. "That I was in control all along."

Suddenly, she got up and smiled. "And I still am."

Harley walked up behind Harleen and possessed herself as the memory started again.

"If you love me, then jump." Joker smiled. "And you'll be mine forever."

"Hard pass." Harleen folded her arms.

 "Wha-- what?." Joker looked shocked.

"I said no, idiot." Harleen shouted.

"But you have to jump, you can't change this." Joker chuckled. "I mean, it's already happened. It's your origin story!."

"Wrong." Harleen glared at him. "It's not my origin story, My real origin story didn't happen here."

Suddenly the scene changed from ace chemicals to Joker's lair.

"It happened in your lair." Harley smiled. "Uh, I wasn't wearing this costume."

You and Ivy smiled, watching this unfold.

"And believe me, I wasn't saying you were a dream come true." Harley ripped off her doctor's outfit and was now in her new look again. "I was saying, "Go f*ck yourself!"'

"Harley, stop this nonsense. I--" Joker laughed before Harley pointed her bat at him.

"I know you think you created me, but no one did!." She hit him in the chest. "My f*cked-up parents didn't make me the way I am, neither did Jessica Sarner when she fucking lied to the whole camp and said I lost my virginity to a horse!." He hit Joker in the balls with her bat. "A horse!."

You and Ivy looked at each other, smiling, seeing Harley stand up for herself again.

"Or, those cops who questioned me for hours about what happened to Jessica Sarner." Harley glared at Joker. "And you sure as hell didn't fucking create me, puddin'."

"Yeah?." Joker slapped her. "Well, I named you."

"You got Harley Quinn out of Harleen Quinzel?." Harley rolled her eyes. "Nice work, genius!."

Then Harley swung her bat and it connected against Joker's face, knocking a tooth out.

"You didn't make me, Joker." Harley stood over him. "I made myself."

"But you can't change your memories!." Joker looked up at her. "This isn't Eternal Sunshine rules."

That's when the pool table from the first chapter landed on top of Joker and he was underneath it again.

"My mind." Harley glared at him. "My rules."

And with that, Harley walked off back through the door and you were all back in her museum of memories

"Sanity restored." She grinned.

"Hell yeah." You shouted, playfully punching her arm. "Good on you Harls, putting that bastard in his place again.

"Thanks, gang." Harley smiled at all of you. "I owe you everything."

"Wait?." You stopped walking and looked around. "Has anyone seen Clayface?."

"No!." Pyscho shouted. "Because her little psycho shits killed him!."

"Did not!." The child turned back into Clayface. "Apologies for the disguise, I had to "go native" to thwart Harley's younger demons."

"Oh, we're just glad you're alive." Harley hugged him.

"Thank you, frie-- Oh, I'm getting hard!."

Everyone back away from Clayface.

"Please!." Clayface put his hands up defensively "My phallus is not erect, it's my leg."

"Oh, no, he's in the furnace!." King Shark screamed.

"Come on! Come on! To the exit, now!." Pyscho screamed as the exit door to Harley's mind opened, you all ran through it.

"And a one and a two..." Sy was about to toss Pyscho's body into the furnace before you all snapped awake.

"They're still alive." The woman shrieked. "Damn it, Sy, this is Peru all over again, I'm outta here." she walked away.

"What do you mean, "Outta here"? Where're ya going? Where're ya going?." Sy asked.

"I'm done with this sh*t." The woman continued walking away. 

"Don't be done." Sy frowned. We're in the middle of a thing."

"No, I'm at the end." The woman walked out of the door. 

"You were always a quitter!." Sy shouted.

"Oh, and you tried to kill us." Ivy glared as all of you got up, also pissed off.

"Nonsense!." Sy tried rolling away before you pulled him out of the chair. "What are you-- What are you doing?."

"I'm gonna put a bullet between your eyes old man." you grinned.

"You looked cold." Sy lied. "So I did what any good citizen would do, I brought you to a dead mall and heated you up in an abandoned pizza oven, you're welcome, we're done here." 

Harley looked around the mall and slowly smiled...she had found it...the perfect lair.

"This is it." Harley smiled. "Guys, we found it."

"What?." You asked, putting Sy back in the chair. "Like hepatitis?."

"No, our new lair." Harley smiled. "Look, it doesn't matter what it is, 'cause the lair doesn't define us, we define the lair."

"Uh-huh, can we define a different one?." Pyscho cringed. "This one's gross."

"No, this one's free." Harley smirked before Sy rolled in front of you all at the speed of light.

"The hell it is." he grinned. "This premium shopping destination runs 100 grand a month-"

Harley pulled him out of the chair, looking pissed.

"I'm offering a dollar, and I won't kill you right now for trying to burn us alive."

"Deal." Sy grinned. "On one condition."

"What could you want, old man?." You smirked.

"You let me come along on some of your heists." He smiled. Lugging around your dead husks made me feel alive again, I want back in the game, baby!."

"Well, you did manage to carry six bodies to a pizza oven, I mean, that's not nothing." Harley put her hands on her hips, thinking for a second. "Deal."

The two of them shook hands before Sy's robotic arm came off. 

"Sorry!." Harley quickly tried to fix his arm.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry." Sy grabbed his arm. "It happens all the time."

He slowly rolled over to a box of tools. "Anyone have a Philips head?."

You looked around the mall, sitting on a staircase, and began twirling a knife when someone came up to you, it was Ivy.

"Hey...so...um...that kiss..." she quietly spoke.

"What about it?." You asked smiling.

"I...um...well...this may come as a surprise but....I...uh...well...I...just..." she was trying her hardest to get the words out but she was stuttering and her face was turning bright green again. "...I....like.....you....okay, like...really...really like you...what I said, about me not ever finding you attractive...it was a lie...a big, dumb, stupid lie, I just have a hard time expressing emotions...and well...I'm hoping you feel the same..."

She looked away, almost nervous.

"Please don't walk away from me, that's all I ask, I can understand if you aren't into m-"

before she finished you grabbed her and kissed her on the mouth, nobody else saw it as they were looking around the mall, Ivy's eyes closed and she kissed you back, blushing madley.