(This might've turned a bit OOC for Juvia, but I never liked the reaction she had at the manga, too flawless. I wanted her raw feelings.)

#

Juvia looked at Gray, who stood next to her, as he stared at the apartment's door for a long time and she squeezed his hand, with his other he held the keys in a tight grasp. The moment he looked at her, Juvia could see he was scared; they didn't know what was behind the door.

"Are you alright?" She asked in a whisper.

Gray nodded. "Yes. I'm just not sure what I expect."

With slow movement so he could stop her if he wanted to, Juvia stepped in front of him and gently took the keys away from him, when Gray didn't say anything, the blunette turned to face the door, inserting the key.

She looked over her shoulder – he was so tense Juvia hesitated but he gave a nod, giving her permission and she opened the door.

The apartment was a very simple one and Spartan, no personal adornments; it almost seemed no one ever lived there. The living room only had one old couch, the kitchen only had a refrigerator and a microwave. In the bedroom, a double bed so old Juvia was afraid it would give in at any moment and an old desk.

"This is very... bare." Juvia said. "It doesn't look like he stayed here a lot."

"Yes." Gray agreed and started to open the drawers of the desk and stopped with a frown, getting Juvia's attention. A moment later he took a laptop from inside and Juvia was surprised to see it was a very new model. Gray looked at her, frown still in place, and he walked towards the bed and Juvia did the same, both of them sitting on it.

Gray opened the laptop, started it but groaned in frustration when he saw he needed a password to get in. "Damn it."

"Was there anything on his phone to give you a clue about his password?" Juvia asked.

"Nothing at all." Gray shook his head. "Let me try my mother's name." Gray quickly typed 'Mika' but it wasn't right. "My name, perhaps?" He typed it, but it was wrong again. "My mom's birthday?" Try. Fail. "Mine?" Fail. "His?" Fail. "The date he got married?" Wrong. "God dammit." Gray grew frustrated with each attempt and Juvia had to put a hand on his forearm.

"Gray-sama, calm down." She told him. "Juvia knows it's frustrating but he wouldn't have told you this address if you couldn't be able to see whatever he wanted you to see." With an annoyed groan, Gray typed something else and failed it again. With a sigh, Juvia pointed to the fingerprint scanner. "Try that."

"I don't think so." Gray rolled his eyes.

"Your father was all around in the dark net telling secrets from a secret cult for years and he never got caught. Do you really think he wouldn't be able to get your prints and somehow make you have access to his laptop?" She raised an eyebrow and saw the moment she accepted her reasoning and put his thumb on the scanner.

It took a few seconds, but it logged in.

"We're in!" Gray said, surprised and then looked at her. "Holy shit." Juvia just smiled. "Remind me to always listen to you."

"Oh, Juvia will."

"Now let's see what he had in here." Gray started to look through the files and sighed when he saw cryptographied files. "I guess I'll have to get someone to look at these files as fast as I can."

"We'll deal with it later." Juvia told him. "Let's see what else he has in there." Gray nodded and started to go through the folders until he saw one with his name. With a frown, Gray opened the folder and there were many more inside, each named after a year.

"What's inside of these?" Gray asked and opened one dating thirteen years back and was surprised to see pictures of himself clearly taken from afar and by someone obviously hiding. His hair was too short and he was wearing a white simple shirt and an army pants. He appeared to be playing soccer and having a good time if the shots of him smiling were any indication. He looked so young the pictures were probably taken a few months after he joined the army. "What the hell?"

"You look so young, Gray-sama." Juvia said.

"That's because I was." He told her without moving his gaze away from the screen and going through the pictures that changed to him doing drills with other recruits. "I was eighteen when these were taken." His frown deepened. "There are some videos in here."

"Open one of them." Juvia told him and Gray nodded, clicking on the file.

Juvia expected a video of Gray's training but instead they were showed a younger version of Silver, the video had poor quality but they could hear and see him well enough.

"Today I received these pictures of you in the army, Gray." Silver says, looking at the camera and Gray took in a sharp breath. "I had hoped you would give up, that you would turn out to have a boring profession so you would be safe." Younger Silver sighed. "But instead, here you are, shining and getting attention because of your skills. I feel conflicted because even though I wanted you to stay away from all this mess, I am so proud you are making an impression." Silver chuckled, and his eyes seemed far away as if he was lost in thought. "Your mother would've said something along the lines of me being too much of a peacock and teaching you to be one too. She always told me she just put another Silver in the world." His laugh was sad, then. "But I don't want you to be like me, Gray." Silver said. "I want you to become better, to have a life. When I started these videos, it was so I could remember myself when Keith's grasp became too intense, so I would come here and record a message to you. I had people taking your pictures too so I could feel a bit in the loop of what your life is, and... you make me proud, son. You'll probably never see any of these videos, but if you ever do, know that every step of the way, I was watching from afar, trying to make the world a better place for you." Silver dried a couple of tears that rolled on his cheeks. "You are the only thing that makes me hold to my sanity now. Become better than me, son." He said. "Don't waste your life. Don't sacrifice what I did, and just... be happy." With a sigh, Silver apparently reached for the camera and the video was cut off.

Juvia blinked fast, trying to control her emotions and she saw Gray stare at the scree with his eyes wide. "Gray-sama?" Juvia asked and he finally looked at her and he was confused.

"He..." Gray gulped. "He kept up with my life." Juvia put her hand over his. "He knew what I was doing, he cared and I never knew."

The blunette brought him closer to her in a hug. "He wanted you safe, you were just a boy when your mother died and you were adopted soon after." She told him. "Keith... he did some awful things to his mind, as you told me. Silver-sama felt it was safer for you to stay away from him because it, Juvia thinks."

"I wouldn't have cared." Gray's face was hid on Juvia's shoulder. "I wouldn't care he was crazy or whatever, I wanted him."

Juvia caressed his back in a soothing manner. "I know. Juvia is not saying it was the right choice, but it was the choice he made." She told him in a low voice and just held him for a couple of minutes until he finally stopped hiding his face. His eyes were red when he looked at her and Gray dried the corner of his eyes. "Let's see if there's anything else in here." Juvia suggested. "Then we go back to the B&B and you can watch all these videos and we'll go through the photographs. Juvia will contact someone she knows about the cryptographied files. Does it sound good?" Gray nodded. "Alright, then. Let's go."

#

It was early morning when Juvia felt the bed move as Gray lied next to her, his arms bringing her closer so her back touched his chest, his face hid in her hair and one of his legs between hers. She was trapped but didn't care.

"Did you sleep at all?" Juvia asked, her voice rough from sleep and she felt him move his face away from her hair.

"No."

"Gray-sama..." She started with a sigh.

"I've watched them all." Gray told her and Juvia stopped talking. "All the videos he made, Juvia. I know I should've watched them slowly to savor it or whatever, but I... I wanted to know my dad." His voice trembled. "He went through so much, but he always made the videos. They were not too long, like the one we saw, but they said enough." Juvia grabbed his hand, the one that was on her stomach. "He talked about you too."

"Huh?" Juvia looked over his shoulder.

"You said you knew him but didn't remember from where, right?" Gray asked and Juvia nodded. "He said he met you at the waiting room while I was getting surgery after the Games. He said you two talked and that he liked you."

Juvia frowned and tried to remember the day of the shooting – those memories were too painful, so she tried to not think about it too much. But she remembered. 'My... my son was brought here. I don't know how he's doing yet.'

"Oh!" Juvia gasped. "I remember him now. After you got shot, I was such a mess. Juvia remembers thinking she knew him from somewhere. And she does, you two look a lot alike."

"Yeah." Gray agreed. "He even has a file on you and he still had been getting pictures of me and there's a lot of us. Way too many pictures, by the way."

"Really?"

"Uh huh." He hid his face on her hair again.

"Juvia will need to look at those pictures." She told him.

"Why is that?" Gray asked.

"Well, you hate to have your picture taken so I don't have a single picture of us." Juvia sighed. "And now you say your father has a supply of them? Juvia's gonna through them all and select the ones that are not too creepy looking, print them and display it like a normal couple does." She felt Gray chuckle and she was happy to hear it.

"Really?" He asked. "When were we ever normal?"

"The pictures were taken by some private investigator your late father employed to follow you. That's the not normal part."

That time Gray's laugh was louder. "Well, damn. I guess it is." Juvia turned around in his arms to look at him and after a few moments he had stopped laughing. "Thank you for being here with me."

"Nowhere else Juvia rather be." She told him. "As long as you want Juvia with you, she'll be there with you."

"I know you will." Gray sighed. "I don't know where this is going, but I will destroy everything Zeref stands for."

"Yes." Juvia agreed. "I know you will and Juvia will help you in any way she can."

Gray looked at her for a few moments before he nodded. "Thank you."

"Now go to sleep." She told him and Gray put his head on the pillow while Juvia snuggled up to him. "We'll think of what to do later." Juvia pulled the blanket on top of them and closed her eyes, feeling relieved they were in such a good place.

#

One Year Later

The rain kept falling outside and Juvia was more than sick of it by that point. She never really liked when it rained and there she was, living in a village most known for its long periods of storms. Juvia sat on the bed and smiled softly to Snowball. The white dog was excited to see its owner getting up and those days the only thing that made Juvia happy was the ball of fur.

"Alright, alright." Juvia told the dog when she got up and Snowball started to bark in excitement. "I'm taking you out in a moment, calm down." Feeling rather sluggish and hot, Juvia pushed through the feelings and got her coat over her pajamas, then put her rubber boots so she could go outside if needed. "Come on, baby."

She opened the door of the small cottage and Snowball ran away, happily jumping on the grass outside, raindrops wetting her and Juvia smiled sadly with the sight. Shaking her head, she made sure to schedule for Snowball to go to the pet shop and get pampered. The dog deserved after being so patient with Juvia's mood.

After a few minutes of walking around to stretch her little legs, Snowball stopped and raised her ears, as if something caught her attention, smelling the air around her. "What is it, baby?" Juvia asked, blinking fast because suddenly her eyes felt incredibly hot. Without any other warning, Snowball ran away, slipping under the fence.

"Snowball!" Juvia called and, without even thinking, stepped into the rain, opening the small gate there and ran to the road and trying to run after the dog, but she was much slower for the past wo weeks with her stupid flu and with the heavy rain, Juvia could barely see too much in front of her but she lost the sight of her pet and panic went through her. "Come back!"

"No. No, no, no." Juvia stopped to run when she couldn't breathe right anymore, her throat closing, heart beating faster and the cool droplets on her hot skin made feel uncomfortable. "No." She fell on her knees, dirtying her knees, soaking wet and crying. "No." She whispered. "Don't leave me too." Juvia sobbed. "Please don't leave me alone too." Juvia said. "I don't want to be alone."

The world was spinning around her, but Juvia had no will to either get up from the ground and go look for her dog or come back to her cottage. What would be the point either way? She was alone. No one would care if she just stayed there, in the middle of the road, crying her eyes out.

So, she did just that.

Juvia didn't know how long she stayed crying, but she thought she heard someone call her name and looked up in question; her cottage was quite far from the town and she only went there for supplies so no one really knew her.

The rain was so thick it took her a moment to identify three figures in the rain and she felt she knew them somehow. Intrigued, Juvia gathered her strength and got up from the ground, taking deep breaths when there were black dots in her vision.

"Hey, Juvia!" It was a male voice and for one glorious second she thought Gray had come back for her. She felt her heart ache when she noticed it wasn't him. "Yo! How ya been?" Stepping closer, Juvia recognized the pink hair and was surprised when she saw Natsu, wearing a rain cape.

"I'm relieved that we found you!" Lucy was a step behind Natsu and Juvia noticed she had changed a bit, but her mind was so sluggish she couldn't figure out what exactly.

"Long time no see, Juvia-san." It was Wendy, her youthful expression the same as always.

"Natsu-san..." Juvia managed to say. "Lucy and Wendy too."

"Don't forget about this little one that went to get us." Natsu laughed and pointed down to where Snowball was, trying to smell the three newcomers at the same time. "What are you doing in this rain without even an umbrella all by yourself?"

Snowball had come back, somehow three of her friends were standing in front of her. Juvia thought and the relief she felt was abnormal, but welcomed it.

More tears fell down, her vision blackened and her knees gave in. She heard Lucy call her name, Natsu caught her before she hit the ground and then all fade into darkness.

#

The moment she came to, Juvia noticed she was in her bed. She had spent way too much time lying there to not recognize it. She also felt unpleasantly warm, her throat seemed to be on fire, she opened her eyes with effort as even they were burning. At least it seemed she was no longer in her wet clothes.

"She has a really high fever." She heard Wendy say. "Anybody would get sick living in this rain for so long."

"Is this really Juvia's house?" Lucy asked and Juvia stayed silent, trying to figure out what to say.

"There are some of Gray's stuff here." Natsu said. "But where's he? He would've noticed she was sick."

"Juvia lived here..." Juvia said with a raspy voice and even if she was looking up to the ceiling, she knew their attention was on her "together with Gray-sama. Just the two of us. We ate together, trained together, took missions together. And in this very bed..."

"We really don't need the details!" Lucy interrupted her and only then Juvia realized what she was about to say, her fever messing with her thoughts.

"Juvia was so happy." Juvia panted. "But then one day... he came from a visit to town and he was different." Juvia could feel her tears falling, recalling that day when he had given her a fake smile when she asked if he was okay. "After that day, he started going off on his own. Then, six months ago, he stopped coming home at all." Saying the truth out loud only made her cry harder.

"You're kidding." Wendy's whisper was coated with disbelief.

"That jerk, leaving without a word." Natsu's voice was angry.

"You should talk." If possible, Lucy's voice was even angrier.

"I left a note telling you about my departure." He explained.

"That's hardly much better. Did you ever stop to think about the people left behind?" Lucy's voice lowered. "About how we might feel?"

There was an uncomfortable silence until Juvia broke it. "Juvia went searching every day, but... she never found Gray-sama. So she decided to wait here instead." She cried. "This place holds so many memories" 'Juvia, come back to bed, it's raining and early and I can't sleep with you all the way over there' "for Gray-sama and Juvia." 'I want a rematch, you can't be that good of a sniper. Loser makes dinner' "Juvia was sure that Gray-sama would one day return." Juvia sobbed and realizing she spoke too much, she turned so her back was directed to her guests. "Forgive Juvia. A reunion should be happy."

A few seconds passed when he blunette heard Natsu's voice: "I'll try to find him. No. I will find him! We're getting all our friends back together. We're gonna bring back FT."

Juvia dared to feel a bit of hope, but didn't dare to expect too much and get even more hurt later on. Feeling deadly tired, she closed her eyes and fell into a restless sleep.

#

"The antibiotics seeming to be doing its job." Lucy told her as she sat on the bed facing Juvia and gave the blunette a cup with tea. They had been staying at the blunette's cottage for two days and when Juvia refused to go see a doctor, Wendy was the one who had diagnosed Juvia with pneumonia and went to buy antibiotics alongside Natsu, who stopped at a store to buy some sleeping bags for them; no one wanted to leave Juvia's side to stay at an inn in town and the blunette didn't have mattresses for them. "You look better."

"Thank you." Juvia tried to smile, but really didn't feel like talking, she still felt hot. Maybe she forgot how to after six months of virtually talking to her dog or when she went to the town.

"Natsu and Wendy went to take Snowball to the pet stop, like you asked them to." Lucy said and Juvia saw the small smile on the blonde's lips and she knew Lucy understood the reason behind; Natsu didn't do well in closed quarters, especially when he couldn't get out, as the rain was still falling. "Gives us time to talk."

Knowing it was coming, Juvia nodded in resignation; Lucy wouldn't give up until she had answers and Juvia had no will to fight but she could stall. "Is there something happening between you and Natsu-san? Juvia saw him trying to get you alone, but you didn't let him."

For the first time since they arrived, Lucy's smile finally faltered and she stopped altogether. "Is it that obvious?"

"I think Wendy-san knows you are angry with him, but I can see you are beyond that. You are hurt in a way you think no one understands." Juvia said and Lucy looked away. "You have the same look I have when I look in the mirror."

Lucy blinked fast to try to stop her tears. "Men are so stupid. Natsu is particularly stupidest." Juvia reached for Lucy's hand and squeezed it. The blonde looked at her friend. "I've been alone for one year, Juvia. He left a note and left. Does he really think it's going to be this easy for him to win me back and pick up where he left?"

"It isn't?" Juvia asked, confused.

Lucy shook her head. "Just like you, I thought it would be. I thought I would meet him again and he would sweep me from the ground and take me towards the sunset; even though the moment I saw him my heart stopped beating for a moment, joy and relief overtook me, later I realized that it was all momentarily. Things are much deeper than that and he can't fix it by smiling at me. No matter how much I love him."

"Juvia doesn't know if she's going to see Gray-sama again." Juvia felt her eyes water.

"You will." Lucy assured her. "I might be angry with Natsu right now, but he is like a dog with a bone. He promised to find Gray and he will. And when we do, I'll make sure to give him a piece of my mind about his actions. Natsu got an earful as well." Juvia smiled sadly. "When FT comes back, I think I'll request to move to stay with you; you would sure be a better boss." Lucy snorted and Juvia chuckled.

"The two of us together... they would tremble in fear."

"Oh, and they should." Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "They have no idea how strong girl power is, but they fear it. We would come up with the best ways to make them regret something they did wrong." They chatted for a while longer before Lucy say it was time for another dose of medicine and told the blunette to rest.

#

On the third day, Juvia woke up from an afternoon nap and thought it was strange for Wendy to be on her own by the table, reading something on her phone. Neither Lucy nor Natsu were in sight, which was strange because they said nothing about going to town.

"Wendy-san." Juvia said to get the girl's attention after she looked outside the window and the sun had already set. Wendy looked in her direction and smiled.

"Juvia-san. How are you feeling?"

"Still sluggish, but better." She informed. "Where are Natsu-san and Lucy-san? Juvia thought they wouldn't go to town today." Wendy's smile vanished and she looked away. Frowning, Juvia looked around and noticed their things were gone. "Where are they?"

"Calm down, Juvia-san." Wendy got up and walked towards Juvia's bed, the cottage was very small and there was only one room and the bathroom. "I'll tell you, they asked me to when you woke up." Wendy sat facing Juvia and sighed. "Natsu-san figured out where Gray-san is." Juvia's heart almost stopped. After six months, someone finally knew where Gray was and the feelings that washed over her made her feel dizzy. "They went after him and they thought you would try to follow them if you were awake."

"They were right." Juvia said.

"You look much better, Juvia-san, but you are not cured yet." Wendy pointed out. "We are just looking out for you."

Juvia shook her head and pushed the blanket away, getting up, suddenly feeling much better. "I am not stupid, I know I am in no shape to take on twenty guys at the same time, but that doesn't mean I am useless." She walked to the corner of the cottage, pushed a basket away and opened a lid to a hid compartment on the floor. From inside, the took a bag she had hid there with her best guns and ammo, but she was looking for a big case on the bottom. She pulled it up and covered the hole with the lid once more; Wendy looked surprised when Juvia turned around. "I appreciate everything you did for me these past few days, Wendy-san, but you know where they went and you will tell me. Today the train station is already closed, but tomorrow morning I am going after them. You can come if you want, but don't try to stop me."

"Juvia-san..."

"Don't, Wendy." Juvia didn't let the younger woman speak. "I've been waiting for six months for a lead, for... anything. I don't care if I'm dropping dead, I'm going after them. You can either help me or stand out of my way."

Juvia waited to see if Wendy had an answer for her, but the brunette just sighed in resignation. Juvia nodded in approval. She took the bag with the guns and put it on the table with a loud thud.

That night she was going to clean her guns and make sure she was ready, because the next day she was going after her friends and the man she loved.

No matter what.

#

Juvia had her hair in a ponytail, but even so her bangs brushed her hair, she really needed to go to a hairdresser as soon as possible. It was one of the craziest thoughts she had during a mission and she had been in some.

It was almost three in the afternoon when she and Wendy arrived at the town of Malva, 30.000 habitants and beautiful with their gardens and forests. But, according to Wendy, Natsu's information was that Avatar (a mercenary company affiliated to Zeref) would place bombs around and in the middle of the town for being infidels to what Zeref preached, therefore they needed to be purified.

Juvia's heart was beating so fast; she had forgot the great feeling of going into action after being alone for six months. The people at the station went on with their days, blissfully unaware of the threat over their heads.

"Juvia-san!" Wendy said once they were outside the station and when Juvia looked at her, the younger woman pointed towards a hill, where there seemed to be a small army standing and waiting for something.

"Damn it." Juvia cussed. "Come on, we need to cover them." The blunette grabbed her case and bag, running towards the crowd. Once they reached the last building at the edge of town, Juvia located the best spots and told Wendy to get the guns Juvia had given her earlier and run to their friends, Juvia would cover her. "Put this ear piece." Juvia gave one to Wendy and put another one on her ear. "Tell me if you see anything weird at all, but I'll be watching you. Don't worry, Juvia is going to cover everyone."

After a quick hug and a nod, Wendy ran away and Juvia got her case from the ground and run inside an office building. One man said she wasn't allowed to get in there, but Juvia just took her handgun from its holster and pointed at his face, saying: "What about now?" The man raised his hands. "Go, take everyone out of the building. Now!" She yelled before turning around towards the stairs, running up the four flights of stairs.

She was breathless once she arrived at the terrace, but she soon found a good spot and put her case down. She opened it and took off her best rifle from inside, put ammo on and placed the rifle on the ledge of the building using the case to make it stand taller for her.

"Wendy-san?" Juvia asked. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes!"

"Good. I'm in position. Tell me what you see." Juvia looked through the scope to get a better knowledge of what was happening.

"Lucy-san and Natsu-san are around one hundred meters from me. I think Lucy-san needs help." Wendy said and then she gasped. "Gray-san!" Juvia heard the younger woman yell and every cell of her body stopped.

"What?" Juvia whispered. "Is he here? Wendy-san? Where?" The blunette tried to find him with the scope. She was so nervous, her whole body shook.

"West, he's wearing a black and white coat. Just a moment!" Wendy panted.

Juvia looked for him and the moment she spotted him, she gasped. There he was, just a few meters from her and he seemed unhurt as far as she could tell, while he shot at the enemy. Juvia felt her eyes water in relief.

She saw a woman point her gun in Gray's direction. "Oh, no you don't. Not when I just found him." Juvia was much faster and shot first, the woman took a few steps back, holding her wound and dropping the weapon. Gray looked around, confused but stepped closer to the woman and kicked the gun away.

Wendy entered Juvia's field of vision and Gray seemed to be surprised to see her there. Wendy took the ear piece and offered to him. Clearly confused, Gray put it on.

"Gray-sama." Juvia was sure her voice trembled because of her tears. "Juvia has missed you."

"Juvia?" Gray looked around, his expression clearly hopeful. "Juvia! Where are you?" The blunette saw Wendy point towards the building she was in and he looked straight at her, making Juvia cry harder. "What-? How-?"

"I asked Wendy where Natsu-san went." Juvia said. "We rushed here."

Gray's shoulders dropped. "I'm- Juvia, I'm sorry. I'll explain everything later. But right now..." He pointed his gun to his left and shot.

"Of course." Juvia dried her tears, trying to get back into battle mode, even with her emotions running wild.

"We are taking these jerks down."

"Yes."

#

Once the battle was over after the council's army arrived and took down whoever was left, Juvia packed her rifle with trembling hands and she ran down the stairs and she was glad when no one stopped her, but perhaps it was due to the fact she had has handgun and didn't stop until she was on the hill.

Gray had told her he was standing next to a Fiore banner and Juvia had to tell some of the army man to fuck off, she had been covering their asses for half an hour and if they wanted to stop her from going further, they would have to shoot her.

Funny how fast thirty army men suddenly let a tiny pissed off woman go through them once she stated her purposes.

The moment she saw Gray in person she stopped, eyes wide and looking at him as if he were a vision. She was so close to him but it felt as if he was a dream; she wondered if she moved, she'd awake back at the cottage, alone and feverish.

Gray was talking to Erza and Natsu, but took a step back, put a hand on his ear and Juvia heard him through the ear comm. "Juvia?" He started to turn her way. "Where are..." He scanned the crowd and found her "you?"

Neither moved for long seconds. Gray was looking at her with his eyes wide, his only movement was the suddenly heavy breaths he took. Juvia had controlled her tears since she started to cover her friends with the rifle but seeing him so close brought all her suppressed emotions back.

Juvia let the case with the rifle fall on the floor and a second later, she went into a sprint and apparently so did he because they met halfway, his arms on her waist, hers around his neck. Gray picked her up from the ground and Juvia couldn't say who was holding the other tighter.

Their lips met in a desperate kiss that lasted just a few seconds. Without containing herself, Juvia started to sob while her face was hiding on his shoulder and Gray seemed to be whispering something, but her heart was beating so hard she could hear them in her ears and nothing else registered in her mind but the fact she was actually holding the love of her life and he was safe.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She finally managed to understand what he was saying when he kissed her hair. "I'm so sorry, Juvia."

"We'll talk about it later." Juvia sobbed. "Just hold me so I know I'm not dreaming."

His hold on her tightened. "Of course. Whatever you want."

Eventually he had to put her down and only then Juvia let go of him, regretting it already. Even so, Gray didn't step away from her. He put a hand on her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Of course." Juvia waved his worries off. "How about you?

"I am now." He told her "I can't believe you are here."

"This should be my line." Juvia tried to dry her tears. "Damn it, Juvia must look a mess."

"Not at all. You never looked better to me." Gray smiled at her and even though Juvia's heart skipped a beat, Lucy's words from a few days before hit her. 'Things are much deeper than that and he can't fix it by smiling at me. No matter how much I love him.' She finally understood Lucy's meaning. "I have missed you." Those words hurt her so much she just started to cry again and Gray pulled her back to his arms.

The moment he said those words, she realized he just didn't understand what happened to her.

He didn't know.

"We need to speak to some Agents and then we can go home." Gray kissed the top of her head. Even though Juvia was relieved to have Gray in her arms, to know he was safe and sound, there was something in the back of her mind telling her she needed more than that.

#

"Gray-sama's interview is going to last a bit longer." Juvia told their group of friends. "She will be going home now, since they have my statements."

Everyone looked confused with her words, she had been fierce with her want to find Gray and when he was finally there, she was leaving him behind?

"What?" It was Natsu who asked, confused.

"He knows where Juvia will be. He has always knew." Juvia shrugged and then looked at Lucy. "I understand now what you told me." The blonde woman understood immediately and nodded.

"I'll speak with him." Lucy stepped closer to the blunette and gave her a hug. "Call me if you need anything at all and keep taking your medicine." Lucy whispered and Juvia nodded before waving good-bye.

"What the hell is going on?" Natsu asked.

"None of our business. We have our own relationship to worry about now." Lucy turned around and walked away from the pink haired man.

"Is every woman I know turned crazy during this past year?"

Juvia thought about the conversation and smiled a little with it. She had been back to her cottage for about an hour already and she had already taken a shower, her medicine and was just waiting to see if Gray was coming back home or not.

"This is such a flashback." Juvia told Snowball, who looked at her and tilted her head a bit. "Will your daddy come back or will he drive your mommy back into despair?" Snowball looked towards the door and then walked right at it, her tail wiggling in excitement and at that moment Juvia knew Gray was near.

Her heart beat faster when she heard the sound of keys and then the door opening. Gray stepped inside, he was carrying a duffel bag and he ignored the excited dog for a few seconds when Juvia's eyes met his. He gulped, looked away guiltily and kneeled on the floor.

"Hey, Smelly." He said while the dog barked in happiness, not even standing still for Gray to pet her. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Missed you too." Snowball managed to lick his cheek s couple of times and he chuckled. "Alright, that's enough." Gray stood up and looked in Juvia's direction. "You... left early."

"I did." Juvia told him, no emotion in her voice.

Gray hesitated. "Lucy told me you would explain to me why."

Juvia sighed. "Not tonight. I'm so tired, Gray-sama. So tired." She waved towards one of the chairs. "There's a clean towel and clothes for you. It's late." The clock read eleven p.m. and her whole body ached.

"Alright." Gray mumbled, put his bag down to the floor – to which Snowball started to sniff immediately – and took off his shoes before grabbing the things Juvia pointed out and getting inside the bathroom.

Juvia lied on the bed, her hands over her eyes and she wondered if she could figure out her feelings without letting them explode in his face. She was told he was undercover, that his actions saved the town but even so she couldn't help but to have an ugly feeling inside her chest.

She must've got lost in her thoughts because she was surprised when she heard the bathroom door open and Gray came out wearing only his underwear and looking just as tired as she felt.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Juvia asked and Gray shook his head.

"No, it's fine." He looked her way. "I... I can sleep in one of those, Juvia." Gray pointed to where the three sleeping bags Natsu purchased were. "If you want me to, I..."

"Juvia is tired, Gray-sama." The blunette interrupted him. "I haven't slept a whole night since that day you didn't come home." Juvia moved the blanket. "Get in. Perhaps I will sleep tonight." He studied her face for a moment before he nodded, stepping closer to the bed slowly.

Once he was lying down, Juvia didn't even questioned it, just scooped closer to him, rested her head on his shoulder and threw her arm over his stomach. She sighed in relief when she was satisfied with her position.

Gray didn't seem bothered at all, he let her get comfortable and caressed her back once she was done and Juvia all but purred with the action, her whole body relaxing immediately.

"Juvia..." Gray whispered.

"No." She cut him off. "Not tonight. Tonight we are going to pretend things are okay and sleep."

"Okay."

And, for the first time in 197 days with his heartbeat as her lullaby, Juvia slipped into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

#

Juvia woke up early the next morning and she was confused to why she couldn't move right until she processed the feeling of strong arms around her, soft breathing tickling her neck, a strong solid chest touching her back.

That was right, after 197 days away, Gray was home.

The blunette closed her eyes and let herself bask in the feeling of finally waking up unafraid, with no worried if he was hurt or dead. For the first morning in such a long time, Juvia was actually glad to have woken up.

Gently, she turned around in his arms so she could look at his face and she smiled when noticed how relaxed he was. He must've been just as tired as she was. His brows moved as he seemingly dreamt about something before they stopped and Juvia smiled sadly.

She was happy he was safe, that he was within her reach and unharmed. But the truth was she needed some time to think about what happened to her during those six months. She needed space, as uncharacteristically for her as it was.

It took her about fifteen minutes to come up with a plan with what her course of action would be and another ten minutes to gather enough will to get up and be away from his arms.

Juvia changed her clothes, took his medicine and ate a quick made sandwich before she started to act on her plan. She stepped inside the bathroom with her cellphone to book a hotel in Magnolia for her and Gray until they figured something out regarding living arrangements, as both didn't have an apartment there anymore; all of their belongings were in storage units.

Once she was done, Juvia started, as quietly as possible, to pack. Lucky for her, she had some boxes under the bed and she started to put things away.

"What the-?" She heard Gray's voice and she looked over her shoulder; Gray was on his stomach, up half supported by his forearms and he looked confused. "Juvia? What in the world...?"

"I'm packing." She informed him and resumed putting the pans away. "We are going to catch the one p.m. train to Magnolia, so we need to hurry."

"What?"

Juvia turned around to look at him. "We are going back to Magnolia, aren't we? Natsu-san said he was going to bring FT back."

"Yes?" Gray half agreed and half asked.

"There you go. Pack. Train. Magnolia." Juvia said. "Go through the food in the refrigerator, please. There's not too much, but enough for you to hold on until lunch."

"Juvia, what the hell-"

"We still have to go to town to pay the rent and thank Mrs. Duval for letting us stay here and ask her to send these boxes to us." She cut him off. "Go, go, go. We have to put away the bed linen too."

Gray was confused, but got up and started to gather the linens and put them inside a box that said 'laundry'. "Why exactly are we in such a hurry to go back to Magnolia?"

"Because." Juvia shrugged, avoiding look at him. "Juvia got us room for a while until we get apartments." She told him. "Now let's go, eat something while Juvia throws her clothes in her suitcases."

The cottage was pretty small and most of the furniture came with it, so packing was actually very fast and around noon they were done. Juvia had marked the boxes and put the addresses of the storage unit she rented and, while Gray went to pay rent and call a cab, Juvia stood inside the small room with Snowball in her arms.

"I was very happy here for awhile." Juvia whispered. "And very, very sad as well." She felt her eyes sting. "It was the place we were a family and the place I was left." Juvia kissed Snowballs's soft fur. "Either way, this was home, as good or bad as it was and I'm going to miss it." The dog licked Juvia's cheek. "Yes, baby, I know I got you."

Juvia sighed and waited until Gray came in, saying the cab was outside to take them to the station. While he took the luggage out, Juvia looked around the cottage with her heart already missing it.

With a final sigh, she finally walked out the first place she and Gray ever chose to live together.

#

The trip back to Magnolia was awkward, if Juvia was being nice. She barely had said a word to Gray, just kept looking outside the window while Gray sat next to her, sometimes playing with Snowball while she was inside her carrier and looking at Juvia, worried.

All Juvia wanted was to get to her room, take a shower, curl up in a ball and let her emotions run wild. She was suppressing them for Gray's sake and she didn't know how much longer she could hold on.

Gray had tried to talk to her a few times during the two-hour trip, but her answers were quick and short; he understood she was not in the mood to talk and decided to not speak as well.

Once they arrived at Magnolia's Train Station, Juvia made sure Snowball was secured in her carrier, grabbed her purse and helped Gray with their luggage. After allowing the dog to walk around a bit and do her business, they caught a cab and Juvia gave the driver the hotel's address.

Thankfully it was a short drive, she could feel the frustration coming from Gray and she knew they had to stay away from each other soon otherwise one of them was going to explode and it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Good afternoon." Juvia told the receptionist, a pretty black woman with red hair, who smiled their way. "Reservations for Lockser and Fullbuster."

The receptionist, Juvia saw she was called Jade according to her name-tag, typed for a few moments. "Yes, I have you here." She smiled pleasantly. "I'll just need your ids and some information and I'll give your keys." After five minutes, they were finally over and Jade took two keys from a cabinet behind the counter. "Here: Miss Lockser room 413 and Mr. Fullbuster 417." Jade didn't notice, but Gray's body tensed so much at the mention of two rooms Juvia cringed internally. "The elevators are that way, your rooms are at the fourth floor. And don't worry about your luggage, it will be brought to you in a few minutes. Have a nice stay."

"Thank you." The blunette whispered, taking her key and getting Snowball's carrier. Juvia could hear Gray a few steps behind her as she pressed the elevator's button and they waited.

The moment they stepped inside, Gray pressed the fourth floor button and as the door closed, he turned to look at her. "Two rooms? A heads up would've been nice."

"Juvia said she booked rooms." Juvia was looking up to the glowing numbers and hoping they arrived at their floor soon.

"Sorry, when was that? You barely even spoke to me since yesterday." Gray asked and Juvia stayed silent until the elevator's door opened and they stepped out.

"I need some time. A few days, perhaps."

Gray frowned. "What?"

"You said you would've slept at one of the sleeping bags if I had told you to."

"I would have." He agreed.

Juvia nodded. "This is me asking you to figuratively sleep at one of the bags."

"What are you-?" Gray was clearly confused.

"Please." Juvia took a step back. "Juvia needs time to process everything. I'll find you when..." She hesitated because she had no idea how she'd be after those days. "I'll find you." She turned around to what she figured was the direction of her room.

"All those days you were alone, so was I." Gray said and Juvia stopped, not daring to turn. "I hope you know that I missed you too and I'd rather not stay away anymore. I don't know why you say you have to."

She really tried to not have a conflict, tried to deal with her feelings on her own. With a surge of anger she hadn't felt in a while, she put the carrier down on the floor and turned around, eyes narrowed in anger.

"You don't know why. You don't know why? Of course you don't know why because it was me who was left alone in our house without a word. Me. Do you even understand what it was like for me?" Her frustrations were taking ahold on her. "You say you missed me? Well, that's sweet. Cute, really. Do you know what I felt every single day you were away? I was in pain. I was hurting because I was worried for you." Her tears blurred her sight. "Did you know I went searching for you every day for two weeks? Did you know that I thought one of your old enemies had grabbed you? That I thought you were being tortured? Dead? That I was praying whoever took you to come for me so I could at least know where you were even if it killed me? That I went to every morgue imaginable? That for one awful second when I was exhausted, since I couldn't sleep, for one quick second I hoped you'd turned up dead so I would at least be put out of my misery?

"Do you know how much I hated myself for that one awful thought? A lot, you can't imagine how much. But I stayed there, at our house, waiting for you, for one message, one text. I even contacted your brother and he didn't know anything as well. You just disappeared and you think that the moment you come back things will go back to what they were? They will never be because I am not the same woman you abandoned- no, don't look affronted because that's what you did: abandoned me. I was put through a personal kind of hell and now that I know you are safe, I can finally breathe, I can finally have a thought to myself and all I'm asking if for you to let me have it.

"You said you missed me, and maybe you thought about me every day. But you knew where I was. You knew I was safe, that I'd never leave our house without you. You had that comfort. I didn't. You had the luxury of thinking about me once or twice a day. Me? Everywhere I looked back home reminded me of you. You must've been lonely during those days, but I was never alone. Your presence was with me every single second; you have the thoughts of me and I was left with your ghost." Juvia was crying heavily, then and Gray was looking at her with his eyes wide. "You could've found a burner phone and texted me. You could've told me before you left." Gray opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off. "I know the rules, I know procedure but I am not stupid or a civilian. I am an operative, I know the job, I would've understood, I would still worry but I would've understood your need to leave.

"The point is that right now I am so broken I don't want you to even look at me before I'm at least a bit whole again. I am ashamed of my breakdown, I'm horrified that I am screaming this in the middle of a hotel hall, but that is the truth. So, before you compare our situations, make sure you know what you are comparing." Juvia turned around, grabbed Snowball's carrier and walked towards her room, crying, but feeling somewhat lighter to have shared a bit of her feelings.

#

From: Lucy-san

19:11: Are you in Magnolia?

Juvia stared at the text and replied, quickly. Lucy was one of the few people in the world who would understand what she was going though.

To: Lucy-san

19:12: Yes.

From: Lucy-san

19:12: Where?

Juvia texted the Hotel's name, address and her room number.

From: Lucy-san

19:14: I'm coming over.

19:14: I'm bringing chocolate

19:15: Stupid boyfriends are stupid

The blunette snorted at the text, but felt slightly better to know Lucy was coming over so they could at least console each other. Juvia hoped her face wasn't too swollen with her crying but didn't have too much hope.

About ten minutes after the first text arrived, Juvia heard a knock on the door and Snowball barked in excitement. Juvia got up from the bed and opened the door.

Well, she no longer felt too badly about her swollen face since Lucy was in a very similar situation: face as swollen as Juvia's, eyes red, hair in a messy bun and looking deadly tired.

Lucy took a look at her face and snorted. "Let me guess, we are not going to be asked to be bikini models tonight."

It was Juvia's time to snort. "Oh, no. We look incredible, seductresses."

"See? Natsu is even ruining my good looks with all the crying I'm doing over his sorry ass!" Lucy complained and entered the room, dropping her bag on the floor next to the door, kicking her shoes and going straight for the bed while Juvia closed the door. "I hope this hotel's options of ice cream are good because I'm in a mood for a bucket. Of each flavor."

Juvia lied next to her friend. "What happened?"

"Stupid Natsu." Lucy groaned. "Do you believe he had the balls to ask me if we would be looking into the apartments we were looking before he left. We were going to move in together, you see. And we had a list of things each wanted and guess what? He thinks we are picking up our relationship at that. When I tried to tell him it wasn't like that, he looked confused and had the nerve to say: 'I don't understand, I left a note telling I was leaving and I already told you I'm sorry.' Can you believe this?" Juvia saw a couple of tears fall and Lucy put the heels of her hands over her eyes. "The idiot. I kinda blew up after that and I might've told him to never look at me again. I had to turn off my phone because he couldn't stop calling me and sending me texts."

Juvia nodded in agreement. "I told Gray-sama I needed some time alone and he said he missed me too and didn't understand why I wanted more time alone." Lucy moved one hand to look at Juvia. "I blew up as well and I told him exactly what was like to live with his ghost while he missed me."

"Look at us." Lucy said, angry. "We are beautiful, we are smart, I'm funny, you are kick ass. We could have any man we wanted. If we'd go out ready to get someone, we would. Many someones. Then why did we fall for those two morons? Why not a sensitive man?"

"Because love is blind and it took us by surprise before we knew they were idiots." Juvia said, serious and both women looked at each other, starting to laugh at the same time after a few seconds.

Still laughing, Lucy spoke. "I'd like to sue my heart, please, it should know better."

"Or cupids. They are also at fault here." Juvia nodded, and they giggled again.

After finally breathing normally again, the blonde said: "Aw man, we are so screwed."

"Very much so." Juvia nodded.

"Can I stay here tonight? I don't want to be around anyone else but I don't want to be alone and you are the only person who would understand this sentence right now. And my need to stay in my pajamas for a the whole day tomorrow."

"Please, do. Let's not want to be around anyone, together."

"Hey, maybe you can teach me some badass move so I can hit him where it hurts the most."

"That move is called 'kick on the balls', Lucy-san. And it's pretty basic: knee meets scrotum." Juvia said Lucy had a fit of giggles.

"It would serve him right." Lucy decided. "I slapped Gray on the face, by the way."

"Really?" Juvia was surprised with that information.

"Yes. He was being an ass, pretending to be evil and maybe I used him as surrogate for Natsu, since he also was a dick for leaving you." Lucy shrugged and looked at the blunette. "Shouldn't I have?"

Juvia thought for a moment. "Even though Juvia hates the thought of Gray-sama in pain, I'm feeling a bit selfish at least someone slapped him? Does it make any sense?"

"It does." Lucy nodded. "Feel free to bitch slap Natsu anytime." The blonde stopped to think for a second. "No, forget it. It's my job. Any slapping should be mine." Juvia nodded in agreement. "Alright. Let's get room service and watch a movie. Nothing romantic, though. Is there a movie with no romantic plot at all?"

Juvia waved Lucy's worried off. "If anything goes wrong, we watch porn. No love there, that's for sure."

It took Lucy a whole minute to stop laughing so she could call room service and Juvia was glad her friend was there with her, otherwise she'd be crying on her own and not getting better with the help of her friend.

Lucy went to take a shower to change into her pajamas while their orders were being prepared. The blonde had stepped out from the bathroom for two minutes when they heart a knock on the door. The women got up from the bed and went to get the door.

The blonde was the first to get to it, thankfully, because the person behind the door was not an employee of the hotel, it was Gray.

He looked confused to see Lucy there and then when he looked further into the room, he saw Juvia standing a bit behind, her eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. The moment she processed the information about Gray's standing there, Juvia took three steps back and hid behind the wall.

"Juvia!" Gray called and Lucy must've blocked his entrance. "Lucy, let me through. I need to speak with Juvia."

"No." The blunette heard her friend reply. "She told you she needed some time."

"Look, I couldn't stop to think about what she told me and-"

"Gray, she said she needs some time so only she can end that time." Lucy was firm. "You don't get to decide how long a person needs to get over something. If you are ready to talk, you go and be patient until she wants to talk. You have no right to demand to talk to her when she hasn't told you she wanted that. Same goes for your bff, Natsu. I know you two will compare notes later."

"But I need to-"

"No." Lucy cut him again. "You don't have the right to 'need' anything other than need to leave right now." Lucy's voice was pure venom. "She is coping in her way and you will respect that, do you understand me?"

"I-"

"Do you understand me?"

There was a long pause before Gray replied. "I do." Then his voice became louder. "Whenever you decide to talk to me, Juvia, just... text me, call me, whatever. I..." He hesitated. "I will give you space."

"Good." Lucy agreed. "And tell Natsu to do the same thing. I don't care how many times he calls or texts me, he needs to back off until I want to talk to him."

"I'll tell him."

"Yes, now go." She told him. "There are three buckets of ice-cream coming our way and those porn movies won't watch themselves."

"Porn movies? What the h-" Juvia couldn't hear the rest because Lucy had slammed the door on his face.

A moment later, Lucy was by Juvia's side, putting a hand on the blunette's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Juvia nodded. "Thank you for that, Lucy-san."

"Anytime." Lucy shrugged. "You know what, we need to be really away from them. Let's go to my Godmother's resort. She wants to kill Natsu for what he did to me and he is afraid of her, no one would bother us. And she likes you, Gray wouldn't dare cross her. Besides, I think we've earned a vacation at the beach."

Juvia pondered for a moment. "If Snowball can come, Juvia would like to go."

"Good." Lucy nodded. "I will send her a message asking for a room. Now, let's go look for something to watch and I'll call room service to see if they are coming up already."

#

AN: Yes, I love Juvia x Lucy friendship and I'll protect it. And, you know what... I feel avenged after the slap of truth Juvia just gave Gray. I didn't write Gajeel in this part, but he'll hear what Gray did, oh yes.

I think this is the first chapter I didn't have them getting at the same place/make amends after a fight/tough situation. Sorry, but otherwise the chapter would've turned too long.

08/26/2016 ~BonneyQ