♛Cameron Dawson♛

I glance at her every so often, noticing her reserved behavior. She's sat back in her chair, her arms crossed over chest while she watches the world outside of her window. Her hair that is left loose acts as a curtain but I still manage to make out her biting her lip in thought.

And damn does the action do things to me.

However, it makes me wonder if she maybe had an anxiety attack last night. After finding out about her nyctophobia and her disorder, I have a newfound respect for Harley. It takes someone strong and brave to deal with something like that- something that you have no control over. Knowing this, I see how strong Harley is and I feel a sense of admiration.

I remember the night she had told me. The night she had held onto me tightly and cried into my chest. It wrecked me, physically pained me, to see her in such a state. I hated it. And that made me nervous because it means I care even though I really shouldn't. I feel honored that she trusted me enough to tell me something like that but I also feel like something is weighing me down- like something needs to be said but I don't know what.

However, even though I was bewildered and confused, I was also concerned. Most people's triggers for such a disorder come from an experience- whether it be a small one or not- which sets the person off to begin with. Harley's trigger isn't small or silly, it's understandable which makes me wonder what set her off.

I glance at her again, avoiding the temptation to gaze at her beauty all day. "Are you okay?" I ask softly, my voice laced with concern.

Her head snaps to mine and she seems a little dazed before she nods. "Can I ask you something?" She pipes up and I nod.

The question she asks me is not what I'm expecting though.

"How do you know Officer Frank?" She asks.

I sit up straighter, my mind blank as I try come up with a decent answer. The answer to her question will raise up many more which I'm not willing to answer.

I can't answer.

If she knew, not only would I be putting myself in danger but her as well and that is definitely not my intention.

"We became friends when I moved here. He helped me settle." I answer half truthfully.

Her eyes hold my gaze. "I bumped into him at the store yesterday." She trails off and I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"You did?" I ask, making a left turn.

She nods. "Yeah..." her voice trails off. "He mentioned something about a friend you had back in Colombia, that our relationship reminds him of her."

I feel my hand tighten around the steering wheel. Is Frank insane? What the hell did he think he was doing telling Harley something like that? He's putting me in danger, something I've being trying to avoid for the last few years of my life. He could quite possibly put Harley in danger too. How does he know that Harley would even be okay with my truth?

Telling Harley would not only put this whole case at a risk, but so would my relationship. She would hate me if she knew what I've done and I'm not sure I can cope with that. She's one person I actually feel comfortable with, one person I've slowly come to enjoy being with.

All of that would be destroyed if she found about Carla.

I don't answer her and I can feel the weight of her gaze on me.

"What was her name?" She asks me softly and I clench my jaw to ignore the memories of her coming back.

"It doesn't matter." I mutter, my last memory of her coming up behind my eyes; the way her father clutched her lifeless body that had blood spilling onto the floor. The way he sobbed and screamed out her name to try and wake her up. The way her eyes stayed open, the light no longer inside of them. He had looked at me from the floor, his eyes blazing in anger while he cried in hysteria. I watched him, a gun in my hands as two lives had being taken that day.

"Why do you never talk about her?" Harley mutters and I groan, growing uneasy at her persistence.

"Because I don't want to Harley."

"So what? I confide in you but you can't do the same? Why can't you trust me?"

I breath in deeply. "I don't want to talk about it!" I exclaim "So please stop prying!"

Harley glares at me. "How can I trust you if you're someone you're not?"

I step on the brakes, the car coming to a halt in the middle of the road. Harley turns to me with a scowl.

"What the hell!?" She hisses and I turn to her abruptly.

"Firstly, I'm not lying to you about who I am. I genuinely care about you and that isn't going to change." I start, my body turned towards her "And secondly, please Harley, don't mention Carla again." I ask softly, my voice gentle, pained. I don't want to talk about how I lost my best friend, how it was all my fault, how I could have prevented it. I don't want to focus on how much I miss her.

Harley stares at me intently, her eyes sliding over my features and she averts her gaze. I take it as the end of our conversation and start the car up again, struggling to get my emotions  back in line.

"It's a pretty name." I hear her comment softly and I realize I said it without meaning to. I sigh, my lips quirking up into the tiniest of sad smiles at the memory of her.

"Yeah. It is."

****

With each punch, the boxing bag sways a a little more but I don't focus on that as I pump my frustration into the task at hand. My breathing is rapid and I can feel sweat glistening down my back. I sigh, pulling off the gloves on my hands before tossing them to the side.

I run a hand through my hair and take a drink of water from my water bottle. I walk to the bathroom, turning the shower knob on and steam fills the bathroom.

I catch sight of myself in the mirror and a familiar tattoo rests over my heart. A tattoo that chained me to the life of danger and pain that I once lived. It's a mark on my body that reminds of what I've done, who I am. It remind me of my father and that I will always be under his rule even if he's not here.

Perhaps I lied when I told Harley that I wasn't lying about who I am because I am certainly not who she thinks I am. I'm a heartless idiot who's ripped the life from many people and destroyed others painfully slow. Harley deserves to know that I'm not worth her trust.

Since when did you even care?

A voice scolds me and I scowl at my reflection.

Why is she a constant thought in my mind? Someone I think about day in and day out? Why do I always feel the need to protect her? Hold her when she's in pain and hurting?

I shake my head to myself, not liking my answer.

I can't get involved with her- I can't. It isn't right. She deserves a life of joy and innocence and I can't offer her that.

It's not like she would even get with you to begin with. You're a killer.

I grit my teeth at my subconscious, wishing it would just shut up.

I take one look at myself and think about how I've ruined my opportunity at a normal life- a happy one.

Before I can even register it, my hand connects with the mirror and shatters, flying to the floor in broken pieces. My knuckles sting from the impact but I hardly feel it. Blood drips from my skin and I stare down at it.

It should have being my blood on the floor that day, not Carla's.

I peel off my clothes before climbing into the shower. The water turns red from my blood and it burns my skin. I rest my head against the wall of the shower and try put my thoughts in order.

I can't feel anything for Harley.

I can't.

No matter how much I want to.

****

I watch the people who stream into the track, it obvious who the Scorps are and aren't.

Despite the fact that I'm not nervous to actually be here, I'm not exactly ecstatic either. Emery is placing a huge risk on my shoulders and I can't afford to let him down. When he told me about this race two weeks ago, I was a little pissed he had raised the bar but I refused to let him down, no matter how much I didn't want to do this.

Besides that, things between Harley and I are... different. I've come to realize that I feel a lot more strongly towards her than I realize and I've tried to put some distance between us. However, that's proven a difficult task when all I've wanted to do is be with her. Her practicing has being going really well and I'm convinced she'll be racing in no time, as long as she learns to cope with her phobia. She too has being acting strange- like she wants to say something but doesn't know how.

I shake my head to myself.

A pat on my back wakes me from my reverie of thoughts and I turn to Mason. I get up from off my car and give him a nod.

Not only am I racing for a hundred and fifty grand but the bets for the other races have increased significantly. The Scorps are truly a bunch of greedy bastards.

"You ready man?" Mason asks and I nod. Mason gives me a boyish grin before looking around slightly. "Where's your girl?"

The question makes me freeze and I let out a breath of a laugh. "Harley?" I ask and he nods. "She isn't my girl man." I explain, feeling the need to clarify it.

He cocks his head to the side. "Why haven't you made a move bro?"

I shake my head. "I'm not interested."

He laughs. "Cam. I may not be a love expert but anyone can tell that there's chemistry between you two. Besides, she's a nice girl."

I just shake my head, not wanting to go any deeper into the conversation. It's difficult as is trying to keep myself in check, I don't need Mason putting ideas up into my head. He seems to sense my guard is up and he drops the subject.

It's something he's learnt to do- learn to back off when he should.

He digs into his pocket, exposing the gun in his waistband, before pulling out a box of cigarettes. He lights one up before taking a drag.

However, my attention is averted when I see Caleb with Audrey by his side. My eyes immediately slide to Harley and my lips tilt up into a smile. Today she pulled on a pair of white skinny jeans and a blue sweater before pairing it with boots.

She looks good.

"Olá." I greet her when she reaches me and she laughs.

"Olá." She returns the greeting before looking around uneasily. I know what she's thinking- the last time this was supposed to happen a shootout took place instead.

"I wanted to ask..." she starts, rolling on the balls of her feet. "Who gets the money if you win? You or Emery?"

"We split it." I explain and her eyes widen.

"Wow. Seventy five grand can go a long way." She comments and I nod.

"Yeah, it can. I'm thinking of putting it aside and getting an Aston Martin." I say and she smiles at me.

"It's a sweet ride." She comments and I nod.  "But I definitely prefer American Muscles."

There is something about girls liking cars that is just so incredibly hot and attractive that I can't help but stare at Harley for a second. It makes sense why she is noticed here at the track- besides the fact that she looks too innocent to be here, she's so gorgeous that it makes sense why people are watching. She also has a kind but bold aura about her and she doesn't seem to shy away despite how much she doesn't fit in here.

It makes me wonder why she has no boyfriend- I'm sure there's a long list of boys who would love to get involved with her.

"I like that colour on you." I comment and she looks down at her shirt, thumbing the material before looking up to me with a smile.

"I should wear it more often then." She responds and I chuckle softly.

"Oi! You need to get to the lanes man." Mason tells me and I nod.

"Good luck bro." Caleb pats me on the shoulder and I give him a grateful smile in response. Audrey smiles widely at me, winking playfully at me and I chuckle at her. I then feel a hand placed on my arm and I look down to see Harley's slender fingers.

"You're going to do great." She smiles and I nod.

"Obrigada maravilloso." I say and her cheeks redden at my name for her. I don't hesitate to open the car door and take a seat inside, prepared to race.

I pull my car onto the lane, settling beside Bulldog- their best racer- in a 1964 Mustang. He smirks smugly at me and I have to restrain myself from my rolling my eyes at him.

I catch sight of Scorpion and he grins at me which makes me rev my engine. Emery steps between the cars.

"Cameron will be racing against Bulldog!" The crowd cheers loudly and I feel my anticipation heighten. "The winner takes a hundred and fifty grand!" The crowd screams even louder but I focus on the feel of the engine under my feet instead. Emery gives me a nod, wishing me luck, before walking away. A girl stands between the two cars, lifting a flag up into the air. I breath in deeply, the noise around me drowning out. The minute she drops the flags, my car is lurched forward. I change gears and pick up speed, just as Bulldog does it beside me. I glance at him through my mirror and he picks up speed, cutting me off. I let out a frustrated sigh before picking up speed again. Our cars are close together- almost touching- and I don't remove my foot from the pedal.

Bulldog knocks my car slightly and I let out a growl.

I swear if my car has a fucking dent...

I sigh. If he wants to play dirty, we can do that.

I pick up speed, my car ahead before I drop my speed slightly. He passes me in a blur, and I watch with a smirk as he struggles to control the car on the bend. I laugh at him, pressing on the gas and turning with the curve smoothly before hitting two hundred miles an hour. However, despite his difficulty, Bulldog is beside me once again and I pick up speed, seeing the finish line just a few meters away.

I'm focused on getting there when I'm flung to the side, my car turning around from the spin. I hiss at the bastard before looking over my seat through the back window. I reverse at two hundred and ten and I push it further until I zoom passed his car, smiling at his shocked yet pissed expression as I do so.

Every racer should know how to race while reversing.

When I step on the breaks and my car is surrounded by people, I let out a relieved sigh, climbing out to the deafening screams. Emery walks to me and pats me on the back with a wide grin before holding my hand up.

"Your winner! Cameron!"

The crowd cheers and I smile widely. When my hand is dropped back down to the side, I catch sight of Harley pushing her way through the crowd in an attempt to try and get to me and when she does, she throws her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.

I wrap my arms around her waist, breathing in her scent, before she pulls back to look at my face. A wide, proud smile is perched on it.

"That was incredible! I'm so happy for you!" She explains and I smile, feeling satisfied with her response. She hugs me again and I take note of how perfectly her body fits with mine.

When I pull back to gaze at her, it's like everyone else melts away, my sole focus being her and I smile, gazing at her in admiration.

I think I'm already long gone.

•••

Well what do you think of that confession? He's finally admitted that he's got feelings for Harley :p I'm not even going to lie... I'm fangirling over here.

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