♛Cameron Dawson♛

Emotion is the root to weakness.

At least that's what my father always taught me.

It was something I was taught from a young boy to hide and keep under wraps and although it is something nobody should have to do, I understand why my father taught me it anyway. In the line of business I was in, people would take any little bit of weakness they could find of yours, any crack in your heart, and use that against you.

There was only one person who I was truly open with, completely myself, and that was Carla. Opening up to her like I did was already a risk I shouldn't have taken however, I did so nonetheless because everyone needs someone to confide in. Someone to be vulnerable around.

And then there was my father and mother who occasionally saw a crack in my mask. But I always corrected it before anyone else could notice.

Only when I was older, however, did I truly understand what my father meant when he said that feeling was every man's downfall because he- the one man I thought was at least partially trustworthy- took my emotional support person and turned them into my weakness. My father had made me see that loving Carla was my downfall because had I not opened up to her and shown her my face without a mask, my father would never have seen her as a good target to not only warn Santino- but also me- about loyalty.

Emotion is the root to weakness, this I know now.

I remember after Carla had passed away, I was emotionless; blank. Not only had I lost my best friend but also all the respect and admiration I had towards my mother and father. My father had betrayed me, showed me that blood meant nothing to him and my mother hardly did anything to stop him.

After that I never let anyone in. I couldn't. It was too much of a risk and I wasn't willing to put myself on the line.

Which is exactly why I have no idea why I'm doing what I'm doing with Harley. I've never really being one to date. Sure I've had a meaningless fling here and there back in Colombia but actually committing to someone? No. And I've never being tempted to either. However, now that Harley knows how I feel about her and I know how she feels about me and we've both opened up, I can't help but want her. I want to be able to call her mine and kiss her whenever I like.

Fucking hell, her kisses are the most amazing thing I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

I've never felt so drawn to someone before. So drawn to how someone laughs, or smiles, or wears their hair or simply walks. I've never wanted to hold a girl at night in my arms and pepper kisses along her jaw so she can giggle.

But with Harley I do. I really, really do.

And now that I know what she's being through, what her father did to her and then her mother and brother, I cannot help but feel complete and utter adoration for her because how could she be so strong? Her body is covered in scars, reminding her of what she had to go through and she still manages to keep pushing anyway.

I wish I could meet her father. I would make sure to reconstruct his face. Not only did he physically hurt her, but now Harley has nctyophobia due to the bastard looking her in a basement and an anxiety disorder because of that. The motherfucker has completely screwed up her life.
And then her mother and brother leave her- how could they do that?

Despite this, Harley still manages to stand tall; to show the true meaning of perseverance and strength. How could I not adore that?

Then I tell her I'm a murderer... that my hands are stained with blood from so many people and she still finds a way to look at me the same, to make me feel like there's actually something in me worth looking at.

She's the only person who knows me, and has accepted me happily like that.

She's driving me insane.

I take a sip of my tea in thought, my head buzzing with so many questions.

And not only that but now Harley has a stalker and I'm slightly on edge from that because I hope this person has no intention of hurting her.

I rub at my temple and close my eyes slightly before I hear a chair being scraped back in front of me and I look up to see Caleb with a raised eyebrow.

"Now I'm not here for bullshit so tell me what's up bro." He demands, his voice lacking any amusement, and I sigh.

"Nothing man. I'm fine." I respond, playing with my tea in the mug.

"I would be able to smell your bullshit from a mile away." He retorts and I let out a sigh, not really wanting to talk about this but knowing that it might do me some good.

"It's Harley man." I mutter and I see Caleb's interest when he perks up.

"What about her? Something going on between the two of you?" He inquires curiously and I scratch my neck.

"Yeah. We've made out a few times."

Caleb lets out a chuckle. "Then what's the issue?"

I run a hand through my hair. "I don't want to just make out with her." I explain and I look up to Caleb watching me with a smirk and I shake my head when I realize where his train of thought is going. "I don't mean it like that, man, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm saying that I want something to materialize out of whatever we're doing."

"So you want a relationship?" Caleb asks in amusement and I lean back with a frown. He lets out a chuckle. "Bro, you haven't gotten involved with a girl since you got here. If you actually feel comfortable with Harley and feel chemistry, then go for it."

I want to yell at him 'It's not that easy!' but I know he won't get it, and he's lucky that he doesn't.

"She's going to start asking questions eventually." He adds.

"She already has."

"What? And you still haven't asked her out?" Caleb exclaims incredulously.

I roll my eyes in response and I hear him smack his palm against his forehead.

"Cam. Ask her out on a date already!"

I give him a sideways glance and let out a sigh. I'm about to tell him that I was already thinking of that when his own phone rings and he answers the call, putting it to his ear.

"Hey babe... yeah... no... I have practice today... I'm at Cameron... okay... see you later... love you."
He cuts the call and puts his phone back in his pocket before checking his watch.

"Practice starts soon so I'll be heading out." He tells me, getting up from his seat. When he's already halfway out the door he calls out: "Stop being a pussy and ask her already!"

I roll my eyes at him with a light chuckle before I hear the door to my apartment slam shut and I'm alone with my thoughts again.
My grey iPhone that sits on the counter before me mocks me and I eye it carefully, trying to think over what I should do. Screw it.

I reach over for it, heading into my messages before texting Harley.

Me: I'm fetching you at seven.

Me: Dress nice. And wear something moveable in. Preferably a dress.

Harley: Erm... a dress for racing??

I chuckle at her message.

Me: No. I'm taking you out.

I lick my dry lips, my fingers hovering over the keyboard before I press send.

Me: It's a date.

****

I run a hand through my hair before opening my car door to her apartment building. I stroll into the elevator and press the button for the second floor. The silver doors close in front of me and soft music plays in the background which makes my first kiss with Harley flash into my mind.

My lips quirk up into a smile just before the doors open. When I'm finally stood in front of her door, I lift my hand up and knock, hearing shuffling on the other end as well as soft whispers. That is until the door is creaked open slightly to reveal Harley peeping at me.

I smile at her before she pushes the door completely open and I'm left stunned. She stands before me in a mid-thigh length red dress that hugs her torso before flaring out by the waist. Her makeup is natural like always but her red lipstick that matches her dress makes her even more irresistible. She switches her weight from one foot to the other, her curly hair moving in the process.

"Te ves impresionante, Harley." I manage to croak out and I see a light dusting of pink coat her cheeks.

Red has got to be my second favorite colour on her next to blue.

"You look handsome too." She says, her eyes sliding over my appearance, and I look down at my tuxedo.

"Obrigada."

She grins before I hear an "aww" come from the back and Harley looks over her shoulder with a light giggle and I chuckle at her reaction at Audrey.

"Come on. I don't want to be late." I murmur, reaching for her hand. She closes the door behind her and we both walk to into the elevator, our fingers interwoven.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going or not?" She eventually asks and I chuckle before shaking my head.

"I guess you're going to have to wait and see."

She pouts at me and I chuckle, reaching up to tuck a strand of her behind her ear before leaning down and kissing her softly. When I pull back, I notice her eyes flutter open slowly and I chuckle lowly before pulling her out of the now open elevator. We exit the building and enter the increasingly dark sky.

I let go of her hand and open the car door for her before winking and she giggles before taking a seat inside. I round my car and slide into the driver's seat, switching on the engine and backing out of the parking lot and hitting the road.

"So you're seriously going to make me wait to find out where we're going?" She asks incredulously and I let out a breath of a laugh.

"Yep." I glance at her to see her crossing her arms over her chest in a mini tantrum. "Trust me. You'll love it."

She smiles at me. "I don't doubt that I will."

I cast her a soft smile before returning my attention back to the road. We lapse back into silence, neither of us saying anything. However, the silence is comfortable and I realize just how much Harley's presence is enough for me. Just being with her makes me feel at ease. I love it.

I drive into town, knowing the roads pretty well and I sense Harley glancing at me even though she doesn't actually say anything. We drive for another twenty minutes before I turn down the road and towards the familiar single story building, pulling into the parking lot that has numerous cars parked in it and people laughing as they enter the building.

When I stop the car, I turn to Harley before casting her a smile. I open my door before opening hers and she steps out into the warm air, glancing at the building as she does so. I watch as her eyes widen when I close the door and she turns around to face me.

"A Latin dancing club?" She exclaims and I look to the building before glancing back at her.

"Si. You asked me if I could Latin dance and now you'll get to find out."

I watch as her face breaks into an excited smile. "This is so cool!"

I chuckle at her reaction, reaching for her hand and pulling her in the direction of the building while feeling an undeniable sense of happiness wash over me.

And I would be lying if I said that the girl beside me wasn't the reason for it.

•••
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At chapter 35, I will be taking a short break from updating due to exams. It won't be long- less than a month- and then updates will resume. We're already past half way so the journey left is not too long <3

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