♛Cameron Dawson♛

My back aches from the uncomfortable position I'm sat in and I move with a grunt, readjusting myself so that the sharp pain no longer shoots up my spine.

"You should go home and rest, Cameron." Dr Philip says from where he fiddles with a few tubes connected to Harley. I immediately shake my head.

"I need to be here for her."

He looks away from his clipboard with a sigh. "You look exhausted. If you really want to be here for her, you also need to look after yourself. Go home and relax for a little bit. Come back first thing tomorrow."

I purse my lips. It's being two days since the accident and I haven't slept in my apartment since. I managed to get Harley a private room even though Olivia didn't want me to. She had previously declined my suggestion numerous times, not wanting me to spend so much money on it but I didn't listen. Harley deserved the best and it's not like I don't have the money to pay for it. I can tell that Olivia appreciates the gesture though as I can see how relieved she is to give Harley some privacy. Along with that, I've tried to find Frank. I went to the police station but he's apparently taking 'emergency' leave. I wanted to yell at the officer who said that Frank had some personal matters to deal with. I wanted to tell her he was plotting to kill my girlfriend. But I didn't.

I tried to call him, message him, get any form of contact, but it doesn't even ring or send. He's disappeared off of the face of the Earth and I can't even ask any officers if they know where he went for two reasons- one, they won't tell me confidential information and two, I refuse to trust any other cop ever again. The one cop I thought was there to help me, protect me, had used everything he knew against me and put the love of my life in a coma.

Over the past two days, Harley has had visits from her mom, Audrey and Caleb, Samantha and Mason, Joe and Allison. I've being here the whole time and I know Olivia would be too if she didn't have a job or have to look after Mia. Everyone is upset from the fact that she's in a coma, a chance that we've lost her while I'm mourning over that and the fact that it's my fault. That I might lose her like I lost Carla, with her blood on my hands. And the thought of losing her all together makes my heart break. I can't do it. Not again.

"Has there being any improvements?" I ask monotone, ignoring his previous suggestion. Dr Philip shakes his head with a sad smile.

"No. However, her heart rate, sugar level and all that is stabilizing. There's a good chance she'll wake up."

There it is- chance.

Chance has never really being on my side.

I nod with pursed lips, my eyes straying to her body. Dr Philip leaves the room quietly but I don't notice as I lean my head back. Sitting here, having to see Harley like this, is making me lose my mind. I think I'm on the verge of insanity.

I open my eyes and glance at Harley, my heart aching to see her alive and well again. I wish she didn't have to go through this. She doesn't deserve it.

I stand up. I don't want to leave her but I think I need to take Dr Philip on his suggestion and go home to shower.

Maybe this way, I can wash away the guilt and sorrow from this situation.

I grab my leather jacket that is hanging on the chair and pull it on before gingerly reaching for her face. I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and look down at her in complete love before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

And with that, I leave the room.

****

Seeing the track doesn't bring me the same amount of relief like it usually does. Sure, it in some way or another kind of comforts me, but it definitely provides no escape like I wish so desperately it could.

As I park, I notice Mason by his car a few feet away, already waiting for me. When I climb out and walk over to him he brings me in for a hug before he takes a step back to observe me.

"You look like shit." He tells me and I let out a breath of a laugh. There is no lie there- I do, indeed, look horrible. My hair is everywhere from constantly running my hands through it, the bags under my eyes make me look sick and I haven't shaved either so a five o'clock shadow lines my jaw.

"That's exactly why I got to get some drinks right about now," I say and we both walk to the bar. It has the usual amount of customers hanging around with the same drunken laughter. I pull out a chair and plonk myself down, Mason doing the same, before Carlos comes over to us. I see the curiosity in his eyes when he sees my state but he doesn't say anything and I feel a lot of appreciation for that.

"What can I get ya' boys today?"

"Two shots of tequila." I respond, wanting something heavier than the last. Carlos raises a brow at me but doesn't answer before turning to Mason.

"Whiskey."

Carlos disappears to get it and Mason turns to me with concern etched onto his features. "Everything okay Cam?"

I almost laugh in his face. Is he seriously asking me if everything is okay? If everything is okay? Nothing is fucking okay! Harley is in a fucking coma and might never come out of it and Frank- the cause for all this bullshit- is still running around, doing who knows what! Nothing is okay!

The minute Carlos puts the shots in front of me, I pick one up and down it quickly, ignoring Mason's question. The burning of the alcohol distracts me for just a second and I suck on a piece of lemon afterwards. I don't feel the buzz when I take the second shot either.

Therefore I order more drinks that I can count. I order shots of tequila and then whiskey and then I hit some vodka. By this point, I'm pissed out of my mind, my words coming out a slur and my vision being double.

I beckon Carlos over again. "Can I have two more shots of tequila?" I ask, wanting more to be able to forget the shit going on in my life.

"Maybe we should chill on the drinks man." Mason suggests, shaking his head at Carlos. I scowl at him.

"Why? I'm perfectly fine."

He gives me a disbelieving look. "You're pissed out of your mind."

I scowl. "I need some more bro. I just need to forget. So let me get some more." I stick my hand up to call for Carlos when Mason pushes it down. I feel frustration flow through my veins and I know that he's pushing it. As if sensing this, Mason removes his hands. I order two more shots and then I really have no idea where I am.

"Come on man." Mason says, helping me stand up. I don't have the energy to argue with him and he helps me stumble out of the bar and into the night. The glittering stars catch my attention and I turn my head upwards to admire them, slowing down my walk.

I remember the time at that party when Harley was drunk by the fountain, staring up at the sky. She had commented on how she wished life could be beautiful like the sky. I told her it could be.

I didn't mean to lie.

"The sky sure is beautiful huh?" I mumble out to Mason as he tries to get me to my car. He looks up to it briefly before nodding with a frown.

"Yeah it is."

He pushes me into the passenger seat of my car and I slouch, already feeling the beginning of a headache. When we're on the road, I turn to Mason.

"Take me to the hospital."

He looks at me. "What? No. You need to go home Cam."

"I need to see her." I insist and he shakes his head.

"You need to go rest before you end up in the hospital yourself."

"Take me to the fucking hospital Whitley." I snap and he purses his lips, ignoring my request and I scowl at him.

"You can go in the morning."

"I need to go now! Don't you see? I need to be there for her! I need to be there when she wakes up!" I yell. "This is all my fault! The least I can do is be there for her!"

"Cam-"

"It's all my fault." I mutter before my body starts heaving up and down in sobs. "This is all my fault."

I sob harder, feeling the undeniable amount of guilt and hopelessness on my shoulders.

"I cannot lose her. I can't do this." I sob out, my vision blurry. "She's the only girl I've ever loved. I can't do this. I can't! I can't!"

I feel a hand grip my shoulder. "You're not going to lose her."

I snap my head to Mason who looks at me briefly. "How do you know that?"

He purses his lips. "That's the thing- I don't. You just got to hope."

****

When I wake up, I struggle to open my eyes. However, the familiar scent of my room comes to my senses and I roll over, peeling my eyes open. I almost expect to turn over and find Harley sleeping beside me. She isn't though.

I feel my head bound and I groan, running a hand over my face to try and remember what happened last night. The image of me crying while Mason drove me home comes to mind and I kick myself for showing such vulnerability.

I sit up, squinting at the light that comes in. I lean my elbows on my knees and stare down at my floor, wondering when this will end. If this is how my life is always going to go, I don't want it. I pick up one of Harley's shirts that she left on my desk and I feel the blue fabric between my fingers, catching a whiff of her scent.

I really loved her in blue.

I put the shirt down and pad my way to my bathroom. I catch a glimpse of my reflection and avert my attention, being too disgusted with myself. After taking a pee and rinsing my face, I head to my kitchen in need of some tea.

When I step foot into it and notice Mason sitting at a barstool, the same clothes on as last night, I frown.

"Morning." I grumble as I walk into the kitchen and switch on the kettle.

"How're you?" He asks and I turn around to see him watching me closely, his eyes worried.

"Well besides the fact that I feel like an eighteen wheeler truck hit into me, fine."

"Well you did go heavy on the liquor last night."

I don't answer him as I put a teabag in and pour some steaming water into the mug. I then pull a chair out opposite him and take a sip.

"Thanks for bringing me home bro. And for being there while I cried like a wuss."

Mason shakes his head. "It takes a real man to cry Cam. It's okay to feel something other than anger, y'know."

But anger is better. Anger is better than guilt, sadness and grief. Anger is easy to deal with, anger is easy to accept.

"Thanks man." I mutter.

We lapse into silence and I slowly come to the realization- even though it kills me- that Harley might not wake up at all. And with all this pent up anger, I'd be damned if I didn't get Frank. I'm tired of feeling powerless, defeated. I've got power in my blood, violence and revenge flowing through my veins.

And Frank has messed not only with me, but someone very special to me.

I'm no longer going to sit here.

He wants to play with Danté Barbosa? Danté Barbosa is what he'll damn well get.

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