There was a lot of waiting around now. I spent a lot of time in the temple with Pavia and Dy, learning more about the spirits and how to open the connection to them. It was easier now when Karuu was also so closely connected to us. We practiced summoning him here to the temple, despite the energy being a lot less powerful here.

Sitting in the temple also calmed me down. I liked just sitting there, listening to the singing, the comings and goings of the other people who needed to pray. I had never been this in touch with my faith as I was now, and it helped me. It gave me strength.

I pressed my nails to the palm of my hand, trying to connect with Nila. I imagined her here, right next to me. I imagined she took my hand in hers. I felt her presence then.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. "Nila."

"Alvina." She smiled calmly my hand still in hers. "You've found me."

"I did, didn't I?"

"You did. I did nothing to help you this time. You found me yourself."

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I smiled through them. "I've missed you so much."

"I know. I have missed you too. Soon we will be inseparable though. I look forward to that day."

"Me too. So much."

"Will you bring your brother to the temple, so I can meet him as well?"

I nodded. "You'll love him, Nila. He's so... Honest."

She chuckled, covering her mouth with her free hand. "Like Barr."

"Actually yeah. They're very alike in a lot of ways."

"I can't wait to meet him." She looked down at our hands, hers resting on top of mine. "You have been so brace, Alvina. You must be brave a little more. Then you can finally get the rest, you deserve."

I bit down on my lip. "I'm so tired, Nila," I whispered. "I don't know how long I can keep going."

"You do not have a choice, Alvina. I know this is hard. You do have me with you, and I will help you. Always. Just a little more."

I wanted to say yes. Yes, I could go on a little more, but honestly, I just wanted to hide in the temple and not do anything but sit here. I wanted to not be here anymore. I was so tired. I wanted to sleep. I wanted my brother to stroke my hair and tell me a crude joke.

"You will soon be reunited with your brother. I can feel it," Nila tried.

I nodded and dried my eyes before the tears fled them. I didn't wanna sit here and cry in front of everyone. Despite them not being able to hear what I was saying. This was all happening inside my head, through the connection I had to my spirit. No one else was invited for this party.

With the exception of Karuu. He popped up next to Nila and smiled softly at me.

"Alvina, you are strong. And you are not alone. You have the spirits with you as well as your ancestors. Call on us when you need us. You know how," he said and looked to Nila to get confirmation. She nodded and gave my hand a squeeze.

"We are all rooting for you. Your ancestors are looking at you and Quinn with pride. They are proud of the name av Stál again. You've brought honour back to your family. You've restored the link between the mortal realm and the spirit world. You've done so many amazing things. And soon you will be able to reap the benefits with your loved ones."

"Just a little more, little one," Karuu said softly.

I couldn't stop crying. I was so tired, and I just wanted to sleep. But there was still so much left to be done, and I thought I was done too. I had been running on fumes for so long and honestly, getting comforted was nice. I needed it. If anyone but these two would do it, I'd brush it off and I wouldn't even let them see me this vulnerable. But it felt alright with the spirits. It wasn't like Nila didn't already feel all of this. She was literally connected to me, feeling what I felt. It was hard to keep anything from her.

"Just a little more," I murmured and both spirits nodded. "After that I'm done, right?"

"Hopefully," Nila said softly.

I couldn't help but snort. I dried my eyes and shook my head. "No. After this I'm done. Someone else can do the hard things when I'm done with this."

"You will still rule the country, right?" Karuu asked hesitantly.

"No. I don't want that."

The spirits shared a glance. "Then, let's hope Quinn wants to. One of you must lead." Nila didn't look fully convinced.

I shrugged and then pulled out of the trance. In reality, I knew one of us would have to do it. But also, no one could force us. If we both stepped down and absolved the monarchy, then what? Then there'd just not be a monarchy. Hell, we could even make a republic. I bet Quinn's husband would love that.

"We've taken the majority of the smaller villages. It's time to take Antraaq down," Halla said.

"Great. I'll actually be able to help with that," I said and looked down at the map. "I wanna be there when their leader loses."

I could feel people getting a little awkward about this. The silence was heavy.

I looked up and met Halla's gaze. "They shot my girlfriend. I haven't forgotten that."

Dy snorted and tried to not laugh. "I think it'll be better if Al comes along as well. Having the queen take the city will be an even bigger blow to the rebels in Andahavn."

"I agree." Halla nodded. "Alright, then let's rally the troops and get a move on."

We left early again. We always left early and honestly, while I knew it was made most sense, I hated it. I was not an early riser and I was always grumpy in the morning.

The whole way there I felt dread fill my stomach. Maybe I didn't have the biggest urge to relive my girlfriend getting shot, or it was the fact that the spirits world was so close... And I could just go there. I could go there and never return. I wouldn't have to leave. I'd be there with the dragons and my brother and the outside world wouldn't be able to reach me.

I shook the thought out of my head. I didn't have time to sit and feel all sorry for myself. I needed to put on my big girl trousers and just suck it up. When all of this was over, I'd finally get to relax.

We drove across the border and then halted to rest. We were going to drive through the night, not wanting to give them any chance of fleeing while we were still making our way towards them.

The city came into view. I wasn't afraid anymore. I felt the spirits with me too. Nila and Karuu were lending me their strength and I just knew what to do. The car stopped and I glanced at Dy.

"I've got this one," I said with a voice I didn't recognise.

She got a pretty satisfied smile on her face and nodded, waving Halla over. "Al's got this."

"What?"

I didn't wanna wait for them to agree with me. I just needed a little space. I held my arms out to the sides and smoke came flushing out from them. Every pore in my skin turned into a little chimney, letting out smoke. I wasn't here to kill. I was here to search. And I was searching for the leader of the tribe. For weapons. Everything that could be used to fight against us, I'd crush it.

And then it dawned me. This power wasn't just destruction. I could search with this. I could become it.

I took a deep breath and my body just... Disintegrated. I became the smoke. I searched the town and found the leader in her house. She didn't look like someone who knew we were about to seize the city.

I appeared before her, parts of my body still smoke. She stared up at me, dropping the cup she had been holding, it crashing against the wooden floor.

"Give over the city," I said, still with that weird voice.

She was gaping at me and then she turned in her chair, away from me. She quickly turned back towards me, holding a gun. She was about to pull the trigger when it more or less turned to sand in her hands.

"You have nothing left to fight with. Give over the city and no one gets hurt," I tried. I desperately wanted her to just give up. I knew I could kill every breathing thing here. Everyone was inhaling my smoke and it'd take nothing for me to turn it deadly. Change the particles in the very air.

"I'm not kidding," I said darkly lifting my hand towards her.

"Alright! Alright," she almost gasped. "Just don't... Hurt me. Please, take the city, please don't hurt me."

She was begging for her own life. Not the lives of her tribe. Only herself. And it disgusted me.

I jerked forward, grabbing her arm with my hand that was no longer smoke, pulling her towards the door. I kicked it open and tossed her on the ground.

"Your leader has given up the city," I yelled, the smoke carrying my voice. "And she didn't even ask for your safety. Only her own. This rebellion is not about the people – it's about power. Her and her accomplices never cared about the soldiers dying on the fields. In the villages far from home."

My smoke carried the voice of their leader, begging for her own safety. I glanced down at her and she was simply just staring at the ground, laying there, keeping her hands over her head as if I'd hit an old lady laying on the ground.

"I won't hurt you now, nor will I hurt you when I take back Andaheim and my rightful throne. You are part of this nation, and I seek to rebuild it."

People had left their houses, slowly making their way to the house of the leader, which stood on top of a hill, overlooking the city.

Soldiers stood with their rifles in their hands.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked, turning proper solid. "I know I am. I just wanna go home." I threw my arms out to the sides in a big shrug.

One with very white hair and skin looked up at me with black eyes. He threw the gun on the ground.

"Fuck this war," he said and offered me a nod.

I nodded back. "Fuck this war."

"Call him," I said seriously.

The leader glanced up at me and then turned the small circle on the telephone. It rung a couple of times before she handed me the little speaker.

"It's Dreki. Anything new?"

"Hi Dreki. Nice to finally make your acquaintance," I replied calmly.

"Alvina. You've finally made it to Antraaq I take it," he replied equally as calm.

"I have. It's nice up here. But I'm a southern girl, so I think I'll be heading south soon."

"Funny, your brother is a southern boy too. And so is his son. They're both fragile beings, you know."

"I'm not." I was losing my hold on my calm. I knew he was threatening my brother and nephew and it made me sick to my core. "Hurt either of them, or his husband, and I swear to all the gods, you'll regret it."

"I'm probably already a dead man. Maybe this will be my gift to you. I'll burn down the stronghold with the whole family stuck inside. The smell of their burning flesh will be the last memory you'll have of them."

I took a deep breath, meeting Dy's gaze. "But if they're dead, what will you have to bargain with?"

He hesitated for a moment. "Clever girl."

"So I've been told."

"What can you even bargain with at this point? You can either make a deal with me now, or just take the city. We're cut off, running low on man-power too."

He was bluffing. He knew I'd be pretty much powerless in Andahavn so taking over the city would be much harder than taking over Antraaq.

"What about amnesty? You can live out your days wherever you want. No harm will come to you nor your rebels."

He chuckled. "And I'm supposed to just believe that? You might be a bit more clever than your idiot brother, but it's clear you're related. You've taken very few prisoners, Alvina. I know the minute you take the city, my head will be separated from my body."

"I'm promising you, that won't happen."

"And I couldn't give less of a shit about your promises. Come and take the city. I'm not backing down." And just like that, he hung up.

I sighed deeply and looked at the leader. "He's a right prick."

"He's ruthless. A true Bursaaq," she said almost proudly and tipped her chin up.

"Soon, he'll be a dead Bursaaq," Dy growled, gripping her gun harder. Bringing her to the leader's house to make this phone call was maybe not the best idea. But I needed the support.

"He'll be-" she started but I interrupted her.

"He'll be rotting in a dungeon. He threatened my brother and nephew. My nephew is an infant. This is the man you support. Someone who threatens literal babies."

I couldn't stand to be near her anymore. I made my way out of the house, needing air. I found Huck outside. He was doing something to his phone backpack.

"Any news?" he asked.

"No, but we're going south. I spoke to the rebel leader and he's not up for bargaining so we're doing this the hard way."

"Do you think we can?"

"If we can get Barr to find the damn block, yeah, I do think we can do this. But we really need all the help we can get."

Huck frowned a little. Baby crawled out from his hood and settled on his shoulder her tail wrapped around his neck. "And you can't contact Barr? Like you've contacted Nila?"

I shook my head. "No. I have no connection to Barr because of the block."

"Right," Huck murmured. "Well, the new sky rifles will help, but we need someone who has a good aim to man them. Otherwise the aeroplanes will be able to dodge them too easily."

I nodded a bit and rubbed the back of my neck. I crouched down, resting my arms on my thighs. "I'm so tired. We've got the whole country under our reign but still the city is impregnable."

"I wouldn't say that. This time we just... Don't give up. We can't really give up. Even if that means levelling the city."

"I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna kill half the city just to get it back."

"Maybe if we got the city to evacuate first? We could send out a broadcast. Then it's just buildings."

I bit down on my lip but quickly released it. "That could work. Actually, that's a really good idea. Get all the civilians down to the harbour, have the Kabiran navy pick them up. And while that happens, we take the city from the east this time, instead of from the west, from the sea."

Huck nodded and looked up at the sky. "It might work. But I don't think there won't be casualties."

"I think this is just... The best way to go about it, really." I shrugged a little.

"Maybe."

We were still working on getting a hold of Barr. The servants that we had planted in the stronghold were told to find someone close to Quinn. Just get the message to him instead of trying to find Barr. Quinn could get the message to Barr himself. But apparently only a very limited amount of people had access to Quinn. And no one who looked even remotely Aatskina were part of that group. The planted servants also had no business in the king's wing. There were apparently a lot of layers in how servants were hired and where they worked. Something I hadn't known. And depending on where they worked determined where they slept.

So, two servants could work at the stronghold for twenty years and never cross paths. Which made this whole thing so much harder. Maybe it was something I should look into once I came back to the stronghold.

I sighed.

Dy looked up from her book and offered a supportive smile. "You alright?"

"Just thinking about Quinn and Barr. I hope they're alright."

"I'm sure they are, as much as they can be. Barr is pretty good at taking care of people. You saw that when we crashed the blimp, how he was hovering over Huck the entire time. I think Huck would've been a lot more hurt if it hadn't been for Barr."

I nodded a bit. "Yeah, he loves fiercely, doesn't he. But what if he doesn't love my brother?"

"Do you honestly think he wouldn't?"

I frowned a bit. "No, not really, to be honest. Quinn is extremely kind and he's hard not to love. But I might be biased."

Dy smiled. "I think we're always a little biased one way or another when it comes to our siblings. Admittedly, I don't think I'm as close with my sister as you are with your brother though."

"You've also got Huck. The brother you never got, right?"

Dy snorted. "Yeah. But he's also closer to my age than my sister is. That probably has something to do with it."

"You grew up together."

She nodded and held her hand out, wanting me to join her on the bed. I didn't need that much convincing. She could send me a certain kind of look and I'd join her immediately.

She smelt of gun powder and soap. Like a sweet scent mixed with something that was a little spicy. I loved her scent.

"Huck has just always been there, you know? He was there for every heart break or when I got really tall and the other kids would make fun of me."

"Kids are assholes," I muttered.

Dy laughed and nodded. "But it was better they went after me than Huck. I could handle it much better and if push came to shove, no one really dared taking me on, because I was always bigger than them. I think it helped Huck a lot, because as far as I know, no one ever teased him."

"Why would they anyway?"

"He was a little weird even as a kid, you know? He took everything apart and fixed things. And then when he tried welding, he burned his face a little. Didn't stop him from welding though and he has never complained about the scar or the missing eyebrow. He's good like that. He doesn't care too much about appearances."

"Hmm, I wouldn't say that. He was obsessed with Barr the second he saw him. And Barr is very pretty." I snorted and looked up at Dy from my position on her chest.

She smiled and bopped her head to the side a bit. "He's not vain, but he does like pretty things. He said you were too pretty to talk to for a while too."

I sat up. "Was that why he was so nervous? I thought it was because I was the queen."

She chuckled and shook her head. "No, he thinks you're very pretty."

I laughed and laid back down. Dy wrapped her arms around me, giving me the best hug in the world.

"I think you're very pretty," I murmured and moved up, kissing her.

She made a content sound and kissed me back, running her hand down my back, down to my butt and squeezed it. I couldn't hold back a laugh. Dy grabbed me and turned us around so she was hovering above me. She wasn't laughing. She had a whole other look in her eyes, one that promised everything but nothing pure.

I loved that look.

She took her time opening my blouse, placing a kiss on the newly exposed skin every time her fingers opened a button. She showed her appreciation to every part of my body equally. My shoulders got as many kisses as my leg, as my thigh, as my stomach.

She was never in a rush, confident in taking it slow. I wasn't as confident as her, I was always a little nervous. But those nerves also made it more exciting. It wasn't a bad kind of nervous. It was the one that sent trickles down my spine, it made my knees weak and my palms a little sweaty. It made my head take off into the clouds and it stayed there, letting me focus on only her.

I was also always impatient. I wanted everything to happen now. But Dy didn't feel that need. She was perfectly content spending a good amount of time kissing me, running her hands over my body, outlining my collarbones with her lips.

She was so perfect. Especially when she quickly got undressed too and laid down on top of me, keeping most of her weight off me with one arm, while the other ran down between my legs. She smiled a little wickedly when I couldn't keep my face from distorting a little. Luckily, she kissed me again, so I could avoid the embarrassment. I was sure I didn't look particularly pretty, but it was alright. Dy was kissing me. Everything was alright.