"And if you read this book, you'll learn more about some really interesting political theories," Islo said and handed me a book bound in red leather.

I flipped through the pages, finding some drawings inside of it as well. I liked the ones that also visually showed how some of the theories worked. I wasn't good at visualising it myself when I just read about it. Islo had drawn some of them up for me to keep in my binder alongside my own notes. I was slowly building the nation I wanted on paper. Making the blueprints. It was exciting and I loved theorising about it, especially with Islo. We had many conversations that were extremely stimulating. I loved it. I felt like we were doing something bigger, and I was learning. And it kept the boredom at bay.

I kissed his cheek. "You want some tea?"

"Yes please," he murmured and smiled.

I rose to my feet and went to the little trolley we had in our sitting room. Every day Àbram would come with a fresh one, fetch us hot water for tea, fill a pot with coffee and have some biscuits ready in a small bowl.

I heard Islo rise as well, his cane stomping against the floor, but I didn't turn. He came up closely behind me, breathing hot air on the side of my throat.

"Couldn't wait for your tea?" I asked softly.

"I got in the mood for something else." He ran his hand over the side of my hip and pulled me back against him. "Gods, I wish I could fuck you against this wall."

I bit down on my lip and looked back at him. "I know. We can try something else? Whatever you want."

He took a deep breath. "I miss taking care of you." He looked down and I turned around, putting my hand on his cheek.

"You've taken care of me plenty, my love."

"But it's not the same. I'm not the same."

Granted, Islo hadn't been able to move much. It didn't matter to me, because despite that, he was still very active with his hands. And his mouth. He just couldn't go as hard at me as he used to. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. I did. But it also wasn't the most important thing to me. He'd still seduce me the same way, wooh me. He'd kiss me so softly and slowly coax my mouth open with his lips.

It didn't matter that things had changed because we hadn't. We were still the same at our core.

"I wanna be in control again," he whispered.

"Come on," I said softly and took him to our bedroom. "We'll figure out a way to give you back control."

I took his cane from him and pushed him down on the bed. I stepped back and slowly stripped out of my clothes. He stared at me, his gaze swiping over my body. I knew he loved it when I did this. He was such a visual man.

I came to him and helped him undress next. I took my time, kissing his body. He'd get control soon enough but first he deserved to be worshipped and appreciated.

When I was finished, I rose to my feet and stood in front of him. "What do you want?"

"Come here," he said with a smile and held his hand out. I took it in mine, and he got me down on my back, my head hitting the pillow.

"I want to see you," he whispered and kissed me, as he slowly slid his fingers inside of me. I moaned into his mouth, digging my fingers into his back.

It was all very slowly and gentle. Very loving.

"You alright?" he asked and pulled up a little.

"Yeah," I breathed and smiled. "And ready for you."

Islo looked down as he gently pushed his hips forward. He got a pained expression on his face and he inhaled sharply through his clenched teeth. A whimper escaped his lips.

"Relax," I said. "Take it slow."

He repositioned a little, putting the weight of his body on the side that wasn't hurting. And then he started moving. I couldn't hold back a groan.

"Is it... Good?" Islo asked. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He looked so insecure.

"Everything you do is good, Islo. I just wanna be with you." I lifted my head and kissed him, getting him to stop stressing so much and just lose himself.

He had never been insecure, and I hated how Dreki had done this to him. My husband was confident and never afraid of doing whatever he wanted to me in bed. But now his movements were hesitant.

It took a while before he relaxed. Before he found a way to move that didn't hurt his thigh. It took a lot of trying and if it had been anyone else, it might've been a bit of a turn-off. But I didn't mind this. Whatever we could do to make this work, was something I was determined to actually do. I wanted this to work.

He moaned softly with every thrust, finally losing himself in me. I lost myself in him too, running my hands over his back and ribs. It was still so soft, his skin. I loved touching him so much.

He moaned my name then and I lifted my chest up, pressing it to his. He kissed me again and I was starved for him already.

We became completely lost as our bodies tangled together, almost merged together. There was nothing but us, in this bed. In Islo's bed.

Our bodies were slick with sweat, but it didn't matter. We were content. Happy and boneless.

"Thank you," Islo murmured.

I couldn't help but snort. "You're thanking me now? We're married, Islo, you don't have to thank me for making love to you."

"No for being... So patient."

I couldn't see him, as my back was pressed to his chest, but I knew he was serious about this. And it wasn't just about being patient with him because he was slower now. But being patient about our intimacy as well.

"Islo," I said endlessly softly and brought his hand up to my mouth, kissing his knuckles. "When I decided to marry you, I promised you the rest of my life, whatever may come. You are," I stopped and turned around, taking his face in my hands. "The love of my life. With a bad leg or with a good leg, it changes nothing for me."

He hugged me close and kissed my forehead, my mouth landing on his collarbone. His chin was resting on top of my head, as he'd do so often when we were standing.

"I love you, Quinn," he murmured.

He said it often now. Very often. And it was the opposite of a problem to me.

"I love you too, Islo. Now and forever."

"Even if I lost all of my freckles tomorrow?"

I laughed and kissed a bigger group of freckles that had congregated on his shoulder. "Yes, even then I'd love you. But maybe a little less."

Islo laughed and grabbed my ass. "You shit."

"You love me though."

"I love your ass."

I laughed again and pushed him on his back, hovering over him. "I'd love you even without the freckles."

"I never thought you'd actually say that. Are you sure you would?" He looked up and smiled at me. I nodded and lied down on his chest, his leg between mine.

"Do you still love me with my scars?" I asked quietly.

"If you can love me with my scars, I can love you with yours," Islo murmured and clenched his arms around me. "We're a little battered, but not broken. We'll heal, Sweetness."

I nodded and kissed his skin. "You sure you don't... Mind them?"

He repositioned, gently pushing me off him so he could sit up. He removed the duvet from his thigh, showing off all the scars on it. One was very large and gnarly, running almost all the way from his hip to his knee.

"Scars are scars, Quinn. Yours don't make you beautiful, nor do they make you ugly. They're telling a story and in your case it's a story of strength." He took my hands in his, turning them so they were palm up. I had scars everywhere at that point. Around my wrists, my throat, my face, my hands... My chest...

"I do not love you less or more with or without them. They happen to be there and there was nothing you could do to prevent that. You are a beautiful person, no matter what happens to your skin. Your beauty is deeper than that." He kissed my forehead so softly, tears sprang out of my eyes and ran down my cheeks in hot trails.

"I love you now," he murmured and kissed my cheek. "And forever." He kissed my other cheek. "No amount of wear and tear will change that."

I opened my eyes and met his green ones. "I love you too." I leaned in and kissed my husband on the mouth. "I love our family. Your daughter and our son."

"Ah yes," Islo murmured and moved back. He pulled on a pair of trousers, struggling with it as he held onto the cane and then went to the crib in the sitting room. "Hello, little boy," his voice sounded from the sitting room. "You've been asleep all day, Àlvar. You won't be able to sleep tonight if you keep this up."

The boy fussed and softly cried as Islo came back to the bedroom.

"I know, I'm a horrible person for waking you. But in a minute, you'll get some food." He handed me the boy after I had gotten my trousers on as well. "I'll go get him a bottle." He bent down and kissed me before leaving the bedroom.

"Oh Àlvar, don't be so sad," I murmured softly and put the boy against my chest. He was only in his diaper. Every time he felt his skin against mine, he'd immediately calm down. As if he needed the physicality of it all. He needed to feel me.

He calmed down when I gently stuck my pinky-finger in his mouth. He closed his eyes and I could feel his little gums work. Such a sweet little thing.

"You got him to stop crying," Islo said, coming back into the bedroom with a bottle.

"He just needed a little attention. But he's still grumpy. You can see how he's frowning." I laughed a little and took the bottle from him, replacing my finger with it.

Islo sat down beside me, leaning the cane against the wall. "He's so sweet when he eats. Especially when he's grumpy too."

I snorted. "He looks so serious."

"I was very evil for waking him up though, so I'll take this one. It's on me." He chuckled and softly ran his hand over Àlvar's little head. "Do you think he'll continue to be grumpy like this? And so happy? It's like he only has those two moods right now, and I'm wondering if he'll stay like that."

"No one's that one-dimensional, I believe. When he grows older, so will his range of moods. I just hope he stays as happy. Fat, happy and spoiled."

Islo chuckled and took the finished bottle from me. "We can definitely keep him spoiled and fat. Now, if he's as demanding as you, it'll be hard to keep him happy."

I gasped and looked offended at my husband. "Demanding?" I rose to my feet and bounced Àlvar a bit, rubbing his back. "Well I never. Mr av Stál, how dare you say I am demanding. You have offended me and my entire bloodline. That includes the little prince."

"Oh deary me, my king. I have offended you. I must throw myself from the window in shame." He grabbed his chest and dramatically put the back of his hand against his forehead.

"I require nothing less for this slight you have caused me and my son."

Àlvar burped and laughed, kicking his legs.

"Oh, the little prince finds my suffering amusing, does he?"

I came back to bed and handed Islo the boy.

"You're a little stinky-pants, Àlvar." He lifted the boy up so he could smell his diaper. "This is why you're so amused again. Because now you'll get your diaper changed, get that ointment on your little butt and you get to be naked for a bit."

I took the boy back. "Maybe a little bath for our stinky-pants."

Islo nodded and rose to his feet, following me to the bathroom, so our stinky little boy could get a well-deserved bath.

"Breathe, do not forget to breathe," Barr said very seriously.

Sweat ran down my forehead as I focused hard on folding the shirt with only my mind. My hands were shaking. This was so hard.

"Stop," Barr said and handed me a handkerchief. "Your nose is bleeding again."

The shirt dropped to the floor.

"Dammit," I growled and dried the blood away. "I don't understand why that keeps happening."

"You are pushing yourself too hard. The block is still trying to stop you. Instead of trying to break through it, try and go around it."

"That doesn't make any sense, Barr," I sighed.

"Yes, it does. Close your eyes. Imagine the block."

I closed my eyes and imagined a wall. Then another wall appeared, and I was trapped in there. The walls changed into the walls of the cell under the stronghold. I jerked back and opened my eyes.

"I can't," I panted.

"You are trapped. Both in this realm and in your head," Barr said softly. He gently poked my forehead. "We need to find a way out for you."

I nodded and looked down at my hands. We were sitting on the floor in my bedroom, leaning against the wall and trying to fold shirts. Barr made it look so easy. None of this came easily to me. Not unless I opened up for the darkness inside of me and... I didn't want to. I had done that in the past and nothing good had come out of it. I had destroyed the apartment and Islo's leg had been crushed. I couldn't afford to lose control again.

"I know you are afraid, Quinn. That is why I am trying to teach you, there is nothing to be afraid of," he said softly and patted my hand.

I removed the handkerchief, to make sure my nose had stopped bleeding. "Will my eye ever go back to normal?"

It was still blue. And I didn't like it.

"I do not know. It might, but I am not a doctor. I do not know how long you take to heal."

I nodded and wiped my nose one last time to make sure it had truly stopped. "How are you holding up?" I asked, mostly to just think about something else.

"I like the other servants. They are very kind to me. Especially Àbram. He loves you."

My eyes widened and just stared at the spirit before bursting out laughing. "What?"

"He loves you. Did you not know?"

"No! Gods, no."

"Well, he does. But not like Islo loves you. He wants the best for you and your family, and he loves working for you."

"He... Has been very supportive. In the past."

"You are fond of him."

I nodded. "He helped me when Aki had beaten me. One time there was blood all over my notes and he rewrote them for me. So I wouldn't bring bloodied notes to the council meeting."

Barr smiled. "He is very kind. Has a kind heart."

"Yeah. I think so too."

"You are lucky to have such good people around you, Quinn. Remember that."

"Hey, I'm fond of you too, Barr. You're not alone here." I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. "You have been a very good friend to me. I'd be honoured if you decided to stay after all of this is over."

His eyes widened. "Can Huqqa stay with me as well?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, of course. Besides, I'd love to meet this incredible creator you keep blabbering on about."

Barr laughed and pulled his legs up, placing his arms on his knees. "He is magnificent, Quinn. You will like him."

"You think?"

"Yes. I am sure he can make something for Islo's leg as well. Something that will help him walk again. He mends broken things. Like he mended Al."

"I think Islo would appreciate it. He... Doesn't have it easy, right now."

"He is sad because he cannot walk?"

I nodded and looked down at the once-white handkerchief, now coloured blue by my blood. "I'm afraid he feels less of a man."

"Huqqa only has one leg. He is not a lesser man because of that."

"No, I don't think so either. But Islo is very proud. He wants to be able to do everything himself, and right now, he just can't. He can't play with his kids. Soon Àlvar will start walking and running, and Islo won't be able to keep up."

"I see," Barr said and frowned, looking like he was thinking hard about something. "But," he started and then stopped.

"Just say it."

He'd stop sometimes when he thought he was about to say something offensive. He was really trying to not anger anyone here, though he was struggling. He was very honest and didn't always understand that the truth could be unwelcomed.

"He is still very strong. And he is still there for his kids when they need them. When you need him, is he not there?"

"Yeah."

"Then, it should not matter that he cannot run. What will he need running for in the future? He is not a soldier."

"No, but it's more about the fact that it was taken away from him, the ability to run. He doesn't like being deprived of anything. He wants to always be in control. Probably has something to do with him losing his wife so early and having to raise his daughter alone."

"Isla is a fine little girl," Barr said. "She is very smart."

"She is indeed. I think Islo is afraid of failing and failing might be easier now when he's not fully capable of doing everything himself. The pain is hard for him to handle as well."

"I can imagine," he muttered under his breath. "Does it always hurt?"

"Most of the time, yes. Every time he moves."

"I am sorry."

"It's not like you did that to him. I'm to blame." I whispered the last part. "I lost control. As a way of punishing me, they crushed his leg."

Barr awkwardly patted my head. I didn't really know how to react to that, so I chose to just... Not react. He was obviously trying to show me some comfort, and it was nice, despite his clumsy approach.

"Right. Let's try folding that shirt again," I said then before it became too awkward.

"Remember to breathe. Do not push yourself. If you feel it is becoming too much, then stop. It is not bad to not master this immediately."

I nodded and lifted my hand, pointing it towards the shirt. It was easy lifting the shirt, but the tricky part was folding it properly and then put it down, folded. It took me a lot of tries, a lot of nosebleeds and a lot of effort, but then, I finally did it. An then I did it again.

"Good job, Quinn. You have come very far. It is not the hardest to lift big things, it is to perform intricate movements."

"Yeah, I'm starting to realise that," I panted and wiped my nose again.

"If Al finds the block, you will be able to do so much more. There will be almost no limitations to your powers once you learn how to control them."

"Will you help me?"

"Of course, Quinn. You are my friend."

I smiled and nodded. "As you are mine."

Barr was about to say something but was interrupted by Islo stepping in. "Take your clothes off, Dreki is coming." He closed the door again and I hurried to my feet.

"Barr, come on! It has to look like we're lovers."

"Oh yes." Barr rose and pulled his shirt over his head. He uh... He was definitely well-fed. I momentarily forgot what I was about to do but then I snapped out of it, when he caught me staring.

Dreki almost burst through the doors just as I was working on getting my trousers down. But it looked like I was in the middle of getting dressed as well. Barr had sat down on the bed and arched a brow at Dreki.

"What?" I growled as I closed my trousers again. "What do you want?"

He looked from Barr to me, as if he didn't truly believe what he was seeing.

"You are actually his lover," Dreki said and turned to Barr.

Barr didn't reply but he rose to his feet and stood there, his trousers open and with no shirt on, as if it didn't matter.

"Why would I lie about that?" I growled and finished buttoning my shirt. Barr glanced at me before looking back at Dreki, narrowing his eyes at him.

"As you can see," Islo said from the door, leaning against the frame. "We have an arrangement."

Dreki looked back over his shoulder at Islo before turning his gaze to me. "And this is all because your own husband can't fulfil your desires?"

I grimaced at him. "Why are you so invested in this? What's it to you?"

"Well, you see. We've sold a very big romantic story to the people. If it got out that you had taken a lover, simply because of your husband's accident, how would you think, the people would react?"

"Then do not tell them," Barr said. "It is only us four in this room who knows. You simply do not tell them."

"And you don't want anything?" Dreki asked, smirking at Barr. "Money? Power?"

"I am sleeping with the most beautiful man in the kingdom. How many can claim such a thing?"

Dreki didn't look so sure anymore. He glanced at me again before shaking his head. "You're a pig, Quinn."

"You know my history," I said darkly. "How has this come as a surprise to you?"

"I guess because I was convinced you truly loved your husband."

"I do. But I have other needs as well." I wanted to puke. I didn't wanna say these things, especially not considering everything Islo was going through. Everything we were working on. "Can you leave now?"

"We're watching you, Quinn. All the time."

"I hope you enjoy the show then. Leave."

Dreki snorted and then turned towards Islo, kicking the cane out from under him, making my husband fall to the floor.

"Are you mad?" I roared and was over by Islo in second, helping him up. "He is healing! Do you want him to get worse?"

Dreki didn't reply, he just smirked at Islo, leaving us alone. Barr rushed over to us, and together we helped Islo into the living room and down on the sofa.

"Fucking asshole," he hissed as he pressed his hand to his thigh.

"Do you need your pills?" I asked.

"Please," he gritted out between his teeth. I found them in the bathroom, hurried back and poured him a cup of tea to wash it down.

He downed the pills and carefully sipped the hot tea. Barr sat down in the armchair, still looking a lot more serious than he ever did.

"That man is scared of you, Quinn," he said and looked at me, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he folded his hands under his chin. "He is scared of Islo too. He is afraid of losing control. He is also afraid that we will find the block. He knows where it is, but his mind did not reveal it to me. He knows you can read minds though. That is why he won't come near you anymore."

"How does he know?" I asked.

"He must've read the stories about your ancestors who had the same powers. If they could make things levitate, they could read minds as well. There is only me and one other spirit who has this power. Her name is Maali. She has been many of your ancestors' spirit."

"Right, so he knows about the powers. He knows what I can do if the block is removed. But... Why is he afraid we'll find it? We're all locked in here."

"Maybe because the block is not that far away?" Islo tried, looking a bit more relaxed now. He took another sip of his tea and sunk down a bit in the sofa. "If he's afraid of us finding it, then it can't be far away."

"Or maybe he's afraid of Al finding it," I muttered.

"Probably. Sounds more likely, considering she can actually travel the country far and wide to look for it. We can't exactly do that."

"Right," Barr murmured. "I will try and read his mind again. Maybe he can give me more information."

"Just be careful," I said and took Islo's hand in mine. "Don't do anything dangerous."
"I am a spirit, Quinn. I can take care of myself." He smiled and then left the apartment.

I glanced at Islo. He still didn't look too good. He also looked pale. "Is your leg alright?"

"No," he breathed.

"Do you want me to massage it?"

He clenched his jaw and nodded, his bottom lip quivering. He was in excruciating pain and he had been able to keep it together while Barr was here, but I was thinking he could no longer fight it all down.