I didn't speak to Uno even when I was at the house already. The whole scene of me going home was messed up—the Juarez had my whereabouts tracked, sent a bulletproof car and almost forced me inside like I was being kidnapped.

I would oblige either way. I wasn't just scared for myself. I was scared of what they might do to Uno.

Not if they didn't have guns hiding in their pockets.

Gio didn't have much power to do anything. My Lolo already called him to let it all happen. Hindi ko na rin tuloy alam kung ano ba talaga ang ginagawa nila—are they still protecting me, or what? Kasi ang gulo-gulo na ng lahat. One day Uno will tell me that they're doing everything to protect me, and then today... they're pushing me near him again, as if taunting me to finally jump if I was standing at the edge of a cliff right now.

How nice it would be if that's the situation, because I'd be really glad to jump right now.

They're just doing everything they can to make my life a living hell... knowing after everything that happened...

Wow.

How could they?

On Uno's 20th call, I chose to turn off my phone. As much as I know that he's already involved in our family's mess, I still didn't want to allow these people to hurt the people who truly loved me.

Maybe that's... the price of wanting to take care of something for yourself.

You choose to sacrifice.

Even your happiness.

My bodyguards escorted me until I reached the main door of my Lolo's mansion—I didn't want to call it ours because it felt like a sin, or maybe I just didn't feel like I belong to them, or if they ever considered me as their family member.

Maybe after all, we're just... sacrificial lambs.

And I, the grand daughter of the Vice President of the Philippines, just let them fuck my life over and over again.

I just let them... because I've always believed that they'll just grow tired of me. But until when would I suffer?

The whole place felt even more scary with the security heightened, and with all these guards from the Juarez'. Pakiramdam ko tuloy may masamang mangyayari anytime...

Shit. I remember it again.

That one time when they ambushed us...

"Bantayan niyo nang maigi si Brandi, I don't want her elsewhere but only in her classes. Wherever she goes, you have to accompany her. Understand?" Gio, the bodyguard that my dad assigned to me when I was 19, nodded. Anna was finally letting me out of this jail. It felt like I was a prisoner of my own house. I haven't stepped outside the whole compound ever since I told them what basically happened to me after the after party.

It wasn't my fault... but they punished me for it, and it felt unfair.

Because... why?

Napa-buntonghininga na lang ako at inayos na lang ang mga libro ko. For the first two years, I was homeschooled. Professors were specifically chosen and assigned to me so that they could teach at home. Laboratories didn't become a problem because I was a Science geek ever since I was a kid, so I had a science room for myself.

Basically, they isolated me from the world... without my Dad knowing. And when Anna felt like Dad was getting a hint on what's happening to me, she allowed me to finally come outside.

Of course, with security. Why would they even isolate me from the outside world? They wanted to keep it a secret. Of course, they wouldn't want me going around talking shit about what really happened after that party. That fucking party that destroyed me and my whole life.

But I was smarter of course. My friends knew about it... and fuck didn't I even realize that I just put them in danger, myself.

But I had to... I had to tell them either way. I didn't want to fight a losing game... I mean I didn't want to call this a losing game, either.

I wouldn't lose this.

"Take care, stepdaughter."

"As if you'd want me to do that. You probably want me dead, already." Anna chuckled at pumasok na sa kotse niya. Napairap na lang ako at pumasok na rin sa kotse. Gio and my bodguards were on convoy since the driver they hired for me was also a bodyguard himself.

I was trying to find my school handbook when one of my notebooks fell down from my bag. I immediately lowered myself to find the notebook... and then all I heard after were gunshots and glasses breaking... then the car crashing to a barrier.

And then the world exploded.

Halos matumba ako nang bigla akong mahilo, pero nasalo kaagad ako ni Gio. Napapikit na lang ako saglit bago tumayo nang maayos. Why can't the nightmares leave me?

No... actually that shouldn't even be the question.

How come I'm still holding it all in?

"You okay?"

Nginitian ko lang saglit si Gio at inayos na ang sarili ko. The least I can show them is me being too vulnerable and fragile.

That ambush... I survived that. But had to live my life with couple of scars and burns on my arms and legs. They didn't even have to let me rest for a couple of weeks after they found out that Zidljian knew what happened after that party... and then they almost killed him... in front of me, while I was lying down the hospital bed, unable to move.

And you know what sucks? They were able to cover it all up, played it well with the media. They had to fake a car accident and pull every strings together just so everyone would believe the fucking story that they created.

Everyone did.

Funny thing is... even my Dad. Because he believes Anna. Because he's rarely home. Because he always had to travel every-fucking-where for his company.

What else can they do just so they could cover up everything?

I pursed my lips together and held my chin up before I entered the mansion. Hearing their laughter booming around the house made me want to go after Van Gogh's footsteps and cut my ear, too. Their happiness felt suffocating...

"Hija!" I forced a smile upon seeing Franchesca. Anna looked at me, her eyebrow raised, as if taunting me that she'd screw the hell out of my life again if I do something against what she wants.

But she can't act high and mighty in front of me when my Dad's here.

"Hello po," I answered, and kissed her cheek (with disgust). "I'm sorry about what happened to Ali and Chen. I know you're stressed out with Alex's case."

Franchesca faked a smile and looked at Anna before looking back at me, "They're gonna be okay... Thank you, hija, for looking after my son and Chen." Ngumiti na lang ako. I haven't seen her there, but I guess it's to avoid the cameras, too—although they can manipulate the news, there's still at least one or two that would provide the real story, anyway. At least naman nagpadala sila ng tutulong kay Ali kapag wala kami, pero hindi namin hinahayaan na wala silang kasama.

Well... things can happen.

I contented myself with a glass of soda habang pinapanood lang silang mag-usap. I didn't want to meddle with their businesses anymore. I'm just so done with their political talks... all I want is peace.

"You seem alone."

"Leave me be," I said, not even giving myself a chance to take a quick glimpse of him. I was slowly losing myself again kaya mabilis kong ipinatong 'yung baso sa bar at naglakad papalayo sa kaniya.

"Why do you keep on leaving me, Bran?"

"What the fuck? You're really asking me that?" I uttered with disgust. "Try to re-evaluate your principles, Fallon. Maybe you'd understand what's happening."

"That was four years ago, Bran! Can't we move on?" he said, his voice raising, but he still managed to be only heard by the two of us.

I laughed.

"Four years ago, yet you're still... keeping it to yourself. I don't know what you can't understand there, Fallon."

"Face it Brandi, you can't run away from me forever. I know you know why we're here in the first place." He grinned. "They're planning to wed us soon."

"As if it's going to work."

"What if it does? Trust me, we have our ways, Brandi."

I laughed, "I'd rather kill myself, Fallon," I answered back, barely managing to keep myself together. Mabilis akong naglakad palayo sa kaniya at pumasok sa powder room. Tears immediately fell from my eyes as my legs become wobbly before I lost my entire balance. I was silently crying... keeping the pain inside myself. My right hand covering my mouth, and the other punching my chest because I couldn't breathe properly.

I felt so hopeless... and defeated... and scared. Every negative emotion mixing it all together as if my insides were nothing but darkness, personified.

I know... I'm always just good enough for the show. I always show them I'm strong... that they cannot ever defeat me, but deep inside, I'm still... a person.

And I get hurt, and scared.

I barely managed to stand up, but I had to fix myself—my hand holding on to the towel holder for support. When I finally regained strength, I immediately washed my face with water and retouched my make-up.

Grabe, what the hell. Why do I always have go crying with this family?

Pagkalabas ko ng powder room, nagulat ako no'ng makita ko si Dad. Mabilis akong ngumiti at lumapit sa kaniya.

"You okay?"

"Just had to retouch dad, it's nothing."

"Sorry you have to cancel your trip with Uno..."

"As if it's going to be fulfilled anytime soon, Dad..." I said, laughing. "You know... I also have to protect him."

Dad sighed and pulled me into a hug, "I'll find a way to cancel this marriage fiasco, Brandi. Okay?"

I smiled, "Thanks, Dad." As if they're going to give you reasons for me not to marry that asshole.

I wanted to laugh when I noticed the look in their eyes when they saw Dad and I walking together. I'm not a liar, I'd keep my promises. Besides, I didn't want it to come from me...

Or maybe I just want to hide it from him forever.

When they finally called for dinner, the helpers guided me to my seat—and I wasn't even shocked when I had to sit in front of Fallon. I dug my fingernails in my palms to keep my calm.

They're all just losing every screw in their brains that keeps their sanity intact.

This whole marriage fiasco's the proof.

I let them do the talking while I casually eat my steak. I knew even if I'd want to talk, I don't have any say to this—it's always the Juarez. They might actually be gods of this country if they wanted to. Our families worship them like that, anyway.

"I'll be talking to Ali's wedding organizer to plan this as soon as possible," Franchesca said. "Engagement party?"

I froze—even if I didn't want to—dropping my utensils on my plate, causing the sound to echo in the whole dining hall; their eyes on me.

"Brandi, are you okay?" I stared at my Dad, and then at Fallon—his jaw clenching as he stares at me.

"Dad... can I call Uno?"

"Brianna." I ignored all of them and left the hall, immediately going outside to breathe peacefully while turning on my phone. I immediately contacted Uno...

"Uno... please get me," I barely managed to speak. Uno was about to speak but then Anna grabbed my phone and tossed it away from me before slapping me.

"Just kill me Anna. Just... kill me."